Menudo Posted May 30, 2009 Author Share Posted May 30, 2009 (616): Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 (269): Pants 0. poopy 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 (217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 (217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light. I thought it would be a tattoo of Greek letters for a fraternity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boat_hacked Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 (edited) (650): I ate so much hot sauce today my intestines are saying eject me(614): Go to the bathroom and as Peter Griffin would say "fire one out" hahaha (650): More like add some salt to my El Guapo and you'll have homemade habanero chipotle sauce (614): EWWWWWWWWW (650): HAHAHA, you know you laughed (614): I did not! that was nasty (650): You know you like it (614): nu uh (650): are you gonna be averse to chipotle sauce now? (614): what is your obsession with El Guapos and poopy? Â polkselt/cliaz?? Â Â ETA: dam filters Aholes are El Guapos Edited May 30, 2009 by boat_hacked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (502): Dude, just got a bummer. (1-502): What?? (502): A balloon work from a homeless chick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi (214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HowboutthemCowboys Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (214): dude. I'm so drunk.(972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (925): Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen? (1-925): Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (406): So, how was the dinner (1-406): Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJoTheWebToedBoy Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (208): I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robash Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (212): i want you now(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this  lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robash Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (847): i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robash Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (847): i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy He would need a .310 for Compton, he is in downtowm LA with the .213 Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (610): if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tford Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 He would need a .310 for Compton, he is in downtowm LA with the .213Â Â Â How do you know that? Sometimes I wonder if you are a real person...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 (513): I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear. Â Â I thought Chargerz did that instead of Captain Hook? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 (850): TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.(407): i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTed46 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Are these real or madeup? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Menudo Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 Are these real or madeup? Â I'm guessing a little of both. Basically, you go to the site and enter the text message that you claim to have received or sent. I'm sure some are real and some are made up. Either way, they make me laugh every day and sometimes when I really need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 (610): Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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