Pet peeves - Air travel edition

[rajncajn]

My top ten pet peeves when flying. In no certain order:

 

1. The folks that sit there in the terminal reading their book etc. then have to get that last call in before the door shuts on the plane. It's extremely irritating watching these people try to make their way through the plane, pack their bag in the overhead & get to their seat with their phone plugged their ear. All the while, half the plane is waiting on them to finish fumbling around so they can get to their seats. The last flight I was on the lady next to me was virtually yelling into her phone because the stewardess was over the intercom giving the pre-flight instruction.

 

2. The people who pack like they are going to be on the real life version of Lost. Why in the hell does someone need all that crap on the plane? Again, when they get on the plane it takes them forever to get all their crap situated so that everyone else can get on and then again to gather it all up so that everyone can get off.

 

3. Getting stuck next to Andre the Giant on a flight and you're on the inside seat. I feel sorry for you bigger guys, they just don't make airliners with you in mind.

 

4. Getting stuck next to the guy who smells like he's been sleeping in the terminal for 3 days.

 

5. The bath closets in planes. They seem to be getting smaller every time I fly. I'm 5-10 and the last one I used I had to crouch down and could barely turn around to close the door. Then there is the inevitable turbulence every time I get in one so I have to brace myself against the sides while trying to go.

 

6. The people who crowd the luggage carousel with their entire entourage while your bag goes by for the 3rd time.

 

7. The people who don't understand the concept of today's security screenings. I always seem to get behind someone who didn't take their laptop out of their bag or has their belt on or didn't know they needed to take their ID out even though it says it in big red letters to take out ID and boarding pass or didn't realize they couldn't bring a pocket knife with them on the plane.

 

8. The people who don't realize the airports provide an area for you to reassemble everything after going through security & do it all at the end of the x-ray conveyor holding up everyone else from getting their gear.

 

9. People who stand in the middle of the people movers. Even if I'm not in a hurry to a flight it irritates me to see people who are have to ask these morans to step aside so they can get by.

 

10. People who use my seat back as a handrail to get up when I'm sleeping. Makes for a very rude awakening.

 

and one for good measure:

 

The people who go to the automated check-in, but have to wait for an attendant to come tel them how to use it. First off, the things are simpler than an ATM to use and pretty much walk you through step-by-step, but if you didn't know how to use it in the first place then you should have just waited for the desk.

[SeductiveNun]

7. The people who don't understand the concept of today's security screenings. I always seem to get behind someone who didn't take their laptop out of their bag or has their belt on or didn't know they needed to take their ID out even though it says it in big red letters to take out ID and boarding pass or didn't realize they couldn't bring a pocket knife with them on the plane.

True story, I was going through security in the Philly airport and this woman was in front of me. To start with, she didn't bother to remove her shoes until she was about 2 steps from the screener, who had to remind her. Then she goes through the metal detector, which lights up like a christmas tree because the dimwitted bimbo apparently thought the 3 bracelets on each arm wouldn't set off the metal detector.

 

In the same line, after I got through, the guy behind me forgot to take off his WWF world championship size belt buckle before going through the metal detector. Total amateur hour.

 

One of my biggest pet peeves though:

During the pre-boarding/boarding process, as they call out which groups may now board the plane there is a hugh crowd of passengers standing there waiting until they can board, even though they will be the last group called. In the meantime you have to make your way through that group of slack-jawed troglodytes so you can pre-board before their drool puddles make it a hazard to get by.

 

And I quit bringing a carry-on bag that has to be stowed in the above compartment. I gave up playing that game a long time ago. If I'm travelling for work I check everything except my laptop, which fits easily under the seat.

Edited February 15, 2011 by SeductiveNun

[i_am_the_swammi]

8. The people who don't realize the airports provide an area for you to reassemble everything after going through security & do it all at the end of the x-ray conveyor holding up everyone else from getting their gear.

 

This one gets me, but for a different reason.

 

In many airports, those seats to "reassemble yourself" are just outsiide security. Nothing worse than carrying all your stuff, your shoes, your belt, etc. outside security expecting to get a seat to re-group than to be met by some crumudgeon eating a sloppy bagel taking up three seats with his food/bag/newspaper when its apparent those seats are meant to be for those coming through security.

[Ursa Majoris]

And I quit bringing a carry-on bag that has to be stowed in the above compartment. I gave up playing that game a long time ago. If I'm travelling for work I check everything except my laptop, which fits easily under the seat.

This. I have a smallish backpack containing laptop, camera, iPod, GPS for hire car, magazines (I catch up with Wired while traveling), folder with itinerary, hire car & hotel details, bag of candy and spare pair socks / underwear.

 

Fits under the seat in front easily. I can sit there and be amused by the rabble brawling over the overhead bin space.

[i_am_the_swammi]

Oh, and please don't bring your McDonalds or airport-quality Chinese food onto the aircraft....not a ton of ventilation on-board, and the last thing I need is to have to smell your disgusting fast-food lunch for my entire 2-hour flight.

[Big Country]

All of these are reasons I am glad we decided to drive to Northern Cali this week instead of fly. That and having a 7 week old to go along with the 6 and 4 year old does not make for a fun flight.

 

When we do fly, we have our simple system - my backpack has my laptop, some magazines and some snacks for the kids. Fits under seat. The 6 and 4 year old each have a small roller bag that they pack some toys or stuffed animals and a blanket in. Fits under seat. Wife has a roller bag that we have change of clothes for the kids, her reading material, and usually here we fit the portable DVD player for the boys.

 

With all of that, they are usually most amused by a bag of peanuts or something like that.

[rajncajn]

One of my biggest pet peeves though:

During the pre-boarding/boarding process, as they call out which groups may now board the plane there is a hugh crowd of passengers standing there waiting until they can board, even though they will be the last group called. In the meantime you have to make your way through that group of slack-jawed troglodytes so you can pre-board before their drool puddles make it a hazard to get by.

 

And I quit bringing a carry-on bag that has to be stowed in the above compartment. I gave up playing that game a long time ago. If I'm travelling for work I check everything except my laptop, which fits easily under the seat.

Yeah, it's funny how as soon as they call for boarding everyone rushes the gate when they know they are going to be standing in line for 20 minutes to get on. I'm never in a rush to get on a plane & I couldn't care less what zone I'm in. I'd rather kick back & wait till everyone else is in before getting on.

 

This. I have a smallish backpack containing laptop, camera, iPod, GPS for hire car, magazines (I catch up with Wired while traveling), folder with itinerary, hire car & hotel details, bag of candy and spare pair socks / underwear.

 

Fits under the seat in front easily. I can sit there and be amused by the rabble brawling over the overhead bin space.

Same here, I have a backpack with an extra change of clothes, a light jacket if I need it, my laptop, GPS, itinerary, gum, headphones & a book and it always fits nicely under the seat. Once I get through security I put my headphones in my pocket in case I want to listen to some music & take my book out and the backpack pretty much stays closed from then on.

[rajncajn]

All of these are reasons I am glad we decided to drive to Northern Cali this week instead of fly. That and having a 7 week old to go along with the 6 and 4 year old does not make for a fun flight.

 

When we do fly, we have our simple system - my backpack has my laptop, some magazines and some snacks for the kids. Fits under seat. The 6 and 4 year old each have a small roller bag that they pack some toys or stuffed animals and a blanket in. Fits under seat. Wife has a roller bag that we have change of clothes for the kids, her reading material, and usually here we fit the portable DVD player for the boys.

 

With all of that, they are usually most amused by a bag of peanuts or something like that.

The only problem I ever have with kids is when their parents just let them run around all over the plane or let them continually kick/beat on the back of my seat without even telling them to stop. I had one parent who let their kid use the seat back tray as a drum for a whole flight. Otherwise, I can understand and sympathize with anyone traveling with kids. From someone who's had problems with my ears from time-to-time on flights, I get especially pissed at people complaining about a baby crying.

Edited February 15, 2011 by rajncajn

[Big Country]

The only problem I ever have with kids is when their parents just let them run around all over the plane or let them continually kick/beat on the back of my seat without even telling them to stop. I had one parent who let their kid use the seat back tray as a drum for a whole flight. Otherwise, I can understand and sympathize with anyone traveling with kids. From someone who's had problems with my ears from time-to-time on flights, I get especially pissed at people complaining about a baby crying.

 

Yeah, my kids know they are in for a world of hurt if they try to pull that off on a flight. It is hard to keep kids contained for long flights (and we've done the LA to England flight a few times with them), but we find that either the inflight entertainment or a DVD player or game system works wonders.

 

We pack gum for them to chew during takeoff and landing and it seems to help, only had one issue with the ears for the oldest, but it was just during the landing.

[cliaz]

I hate flying. And when I say I hate flying, I mean I loath flying. The single most torturous thing you can do to me is stick me on a plan. I have only had 1 flight in which I was only extremely freaked out and the rest were 50 million times worse. When I fly, I check everything except what I need to distract me on the flight (e.g. laptop, books, fleshlight, ect).

 

I hate the entire process so my pet peeves are to never fly.

 

Worst Flight ever:

Coming back from Maui to Ft. Worth was like driving a bus with no suspension over the redwood forest floor. When we landed I was so relived. That was 11 hours where every bang from turbulence cut me to the core. When we were ready to take off from Ft. Worth, we were racing down the runway and took off. Got about 15 feet or so off the runway and you could hear the alerts coming from the cockpit then the plane slammed back down so hard I thought the wings would buckle. We had a hydrologics failure alert go off and they needed to reset something.

 

I hate flying

[Big Country]

I hate flying. And when I say I hate flying, I mean I loath flying. The single most torturous thing you can do to me is stick me on a plan. I have only had 1 flight in which I was only extremely freaked out and the rest were 50 million times worse. When I fly, I check everything except what I need to distract me on the flight (e.g. laptop, books, fleshlight, ect).

 

I hate the entire process so my pet peeves are to never fly.

 

Worst Flight ever:

Coming back from Maui to Ft. Worth was like driving a bus with no suspension over the redwood forest floor. When we landed I was so relived. That was 11 hours where every bang from turbulence cut me to the core. When we were ready to take off from Ft. Worth, we were racing down the runway and took off. Got about 15 feet or so off the runway and you could hear the alerts coming from the cockpit then the plane slammed back down so hard I thought the wings would buckle. We had a hydrologics failure alert go off and they needed to reset something.

 

I hate flying

 

 

So, you are B.A. Baracus?

[bpwallace49]

I am 6'2'' and 235 pounds.

 

Airplane seats are not meant for me to be comfortable at all. I watch a movie on my laptop or iphone and hope the time flies.

 

+1 on the carry on food stuff. Yeah, everyone wants to smell your crappy take out food for several hours.

 

I also hate when everyone fights to stand up first and wrestle their enormous carry on out of the overhead, then stand in line to get out. The line wont move faster if everyone stands there stomping their feet. I would love to have seats assigned by size of carry on in the overhead bin. The bigger the carry on (or if you have one at all,) the further back you get to sit, so that those of us that have a bag that is with us under the seat in front of us can get out quicker.

[cliaz]

So, you are B.A. Baracus?

 

 

Way worse

 

If anyone of you flew with me you would call a sanitarium to come pick me up. It's not that I'm freaking out in the plane to where it is distracting but I do have a serious OCD ritual I need to go through.

 

For example: When I'm boarding I have to stop and kiss the fuselage, tap it three times with the finger tips of my right hand and then when I get to the seat I have to do the same thing to the seat or the window next to the seat.

 

It's horrible.

[Junkyard]

Where are parents supposed to change a baby's diapers on a plane? Somebody already mentioned the size of the bathrooms, and of course nobody holds any illwill to the comfort of an infant. But on a recent flight, a lady changed a poopy diaper about 18 inches away from me (one seat length), and I was reaching for the airsick bag.

[SeductiveNun]

When I fly, I check everything except what I need to distract me on the flight (e.g. laptop, books, fleshlight, ect).

And that's why I never use the tray tables on the airplanes anymore.

[rajncajn]

Way worse

 

If anyone of you flew with me you would call a sanitarium to come pick me up. It's not that I'm freaking out in the plane to where it is distracting but I do have a serious OCD ritual I need to go through.

 

For example: When I'm boarding I have to stop and kiss the fuselage, tap it three times with the finger tips of my right hand and then when I get to the seat I have to do the same thing to the seat or the window next to the seat.

 

It's horrible.

I've seen some people do some strange things on flights.

 

I had a lady in my row once who seemed as calm & collected as could be before & during the flight, but when it came to time to take off & land she would calmly put everything away & tuck her head between her knees and clasp her fingers behind her head. Me & the lady next to me just kinda looked at each other wondering if she knew something we didn't.

[rajncajn]

Where are parents supposed to change a baby's diapers on a plane? Somebody already mentioned the size of the bathrooms, and of course nobody holds any illwill to the comfort of an infant. But on a recent flight, a lady changed a poopy diaper about 18 inches away from me (one seat length), and I was reaching for the airsick bag.

If I'm sitting next to a parent who needs to change a diaper then I'll offer them my seat. You can lift the arm and there's usually enough room to do it and it's WAY better then getting the occasional whiff every few minutes if they just wait till the plane lands.

[JoJoTheWebToedBoy]

True story, I was going through security in the Philly airport and this woman was in front of me. To start with, she didn't bother to remove her shoes until she was about 2 steps from the screener, who had to remind her. Then she goes through the metal detector, which lights up like a christmas tree because the dimwitted bimbo apparently thought the 3 bracelets on each arm wouldn't set off the metal detector.

 

Last time I traveled with my wife she did the same thing. When she finally cleared security I just looked at her and asked "What part of Metal Detector did you not understand"

 

She didn't talk to me for the rest of the day.

[montster]

I also hate when everyone fights to stand up first and wrestle their enormous carry on out of the overhead, then stand in line to get out.

 

Or the guy who, as soon as the plane lands but before it gets to the gate, leaps up to get his stuff out of the bin, while talking on his cell, even though the fasten-seatbelt sign isn't off yet. So then the flight attendant has to get on the intercom and tell everyone that you're not supposed to get up yet. I want to whomper-punch that guy right in the kidney.

 

Also, the pilot who comes on right as I'm drifting off to say, "HERE'S HOW LONG THE FLIGHT IS GOING TO BE. WE ARE CURRENTLY FLYING OVER THE MOST AMAZING THING YOU'LL EVER SEE, BUT IT'S ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF WHERE YOU'RE SITTING. OH, AND I HAD THE MOST AMAZING COUSCOUS LAST NIGHT. I'M GOING TO PERIODICALLY YELL NON SEQUITURS INTO MY MICROPHONE DURING THE FLIGHT SO AS TO KEEP YOU FROM HAVING ANY SEMBLANCE OF REST."

[rajncajn]

oh... When the in-flight movie that you paid for keeps getting interrupted by the intercom so that the movie gets cut short before you land.

[lennykravitz2004]

Road Warrior for 3 to 4 years (75% travel). In no particular order:

 

1) Already mentioned security lines. Please - talk to old ladies (hell, women in general) and tell them it's not a fashion show, and they do NOT have to wear their fine jewelry and knee high boots.

 

2) Arm rest hogs. Just because you think I should feel sorry for you sitting in the middle seat, does not mean you get the armrest and my ribs for your elbow.

 

3) Overhead bin Adam's Apples. I hope those Adam's Apples who think the size restrictions on bags doesn't apply to them (and thanks to the airline gate attendants who look the other way) get caught with a suitcase full of china white and taped-up parrots stuffed in their pants.

 

4) The can't-sit-still-to-save-their-life-people. Hey, thanks guy! I enjoy hot coffee spilled on my lap b/c you have the attention span of a hamster and cannot sit still in your seat with the tray going up, then back down, then back up, then...

 

5) Last-second phone users after the plane's door has shut. We get it - you're important. Now, the Flight Attendant has said "Please turn off your cell phones". So Penny Laneing turn off your Penny Laneing phone. The guy that punched that young adult (16 is old enough to know better) a month or so ago should not have been reprimanded. I'd prefer my plane's comm not have any interference.

 

6) The fact our planes don't have armed military guards with uzis (a la El Al). Go ahead - make that guy's day... and mine too.

 

ETA:

 

7) Those who can't take a hint - hey sister... I put this set of earbuds in for a reason - so I can watch my episodes of Family Guy on my phone, not so you could ask me every question about my phone, and the shows I'm watching, and... just leave me the F alone. Unless you're Sara Jean Underwood, don't bother me.

Edited February 15, 2011 by lennykravitz2004

[bpwallace49]

Or the guy who, as soon as the plane lands but before it gets to the gate, leaps up to get his stuff out of the bin, while talking on his cell, even though the fasten-seatbelt sign isn't off yet. So then the flight attendant has to get on the intercom and tell everyone that you're not supposed to get up yet. I want to whomper-punch that guy right in the kidney.

 

Also, the pilot who comes on right as I'm drifting off to say, "HERE'S HOW LONG THE FLIGHT IS GOING TO BE. WE ARE CURRENTLY FLYING OVER THE MOST AMAZING THING YOU'LL EVER SEE, BUT IT'S ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF WHERE YOU'RE SITTING. OH, AND I HAD THE MOST AMAZING COUSCOUS LAST NIGHT. I'M GOING TO PERIODICALLY YELL NON SEQUITURS INTO MY MICROPHONE DURING THE FLIGHT SO AS TO KEEP YOU FROM HAVING ANY SEMBLANCE OF REST."

 

Agreed. That is why I love the laptop/music player as soon as we are cleared.

[Gopher]

Oh boy... some of these really hit close to home. We're flying to Minneapolis this Saturday (7 AM flight), and it will be our first trip (flying, at least) with our daughter, who is now 4 1/2 months old. She's been an EXTREMELY good baby, so far (everyone always comments on how alert and pleasant she seems to be), but we're both nervous nonetheless. A few of your top 10 that particularly caught my attention:

 

My top ten pet peeves when flying. In no certain order:

 

1. The folks that sit there in the terminal reading their book etc. then have to get that last call in before the door shuts on the plane. It's extremely irritating watching these people try to make their way through the plane, pack their bag in the overhead & get to their seat with their phone plugged their ear. All the while, half the plane is waiting on them to finish fumbling around so they can get to their seats. The last flight I was on the lady next to me was virtually yelling into her phone because the stewardess was over the intercom giving the pre-flight instruction. Yeah, those people are annoying, but that's definitely not me. I rarely make phone calls while on a plane, other than to tell my wife that I'm taking off or landing, when I fly alone. Even then, I try to make sure I'm not one of the annoying people "yelling" in front of the rest of the passengers.

 

2. The people who pack like they are going to be on the real life version of Lost. Why in the hell does someone need all that crap on the plane? Again, when they get on the plane it takes them forever to get all their crap situated so that everyone else can get on and then again to gather it all up so that everyone can get off. I've never been this type. In fact, even though I typically prefer NOT to check a bag (if possible), I also try not to carry on suitcases (or large bags), as well. If I do just carry on my luggage, it's usually a backpack and duffle bag, or a backpack and briefcase (for weekend trips). This trip, though (we're going to be in MN for over a week), I don't think there is any way around it. We'll most likely take advantage of the two free checked items each (flying Southwest), plus the free checked car seat and base as well. Even then, I am fearing that we'll be carrying a bunch of shlt on the plane, as well. More than likely, I'll end up packing "light" (maybe just my usual backback and duffle), so my wife can use my two checked suitcases for baby stuff. Either way, getting on and off the plane, with the kid and a bunch of extra stuff, is going to be a PITA.

 

3. Getting stuck next to Andre the Giant on a flight and you're on the inside seat. I feel sorry for you bigger guys, they just don't make airliners with you in mind. I'm 6'6" and about 280-290. Sorry. That said, I try to make sure I'm not one of those people who take up a seat and a half, including both arm rests, so the people on either side of me are squished. Nothing more annoying (in my opinion) than the guy who isn't even aware of the fact that he's taking up 30% of someone else's space.

 

4. Getting stuck next to the guy who smells like he's been sleeping in the terminal for 3 days. Hope that's never me, but I've been on the wrong end of that as well. Wife sat next to a guy (I was in the window seat, her in the middle, and him on the aisle) who smelled like he had been on a three-week bender, during which he had done nothing but drink beer, smoked cigarettes, and eaten something foul (his breath smelled like a dog's ass). His BO was also bad enough that I'm quite certain he hadn't bathed in at least a few days. Disgusting.

 

5. The bath closets in planes. They seem to be getting smaller every time I fly. I'm 5-10 and the last one I used I had to crouch down and could barely turn around to close the door. Then there is the inevitable turbulence every time I get in one so I have to brace myself against the sides while trying to go. Flown more times than I can count, but I'm pretty sure I've only been in an airplane restroom once or twice (can't remember). I avoid those things like the plague. My wife, on the other hand, usually goes 2-3 times per flight, at least. Of course, she also drinks about four gallons (and I'm not exaggurating) of water daily.

 

6. The people who crowd the luggage carousel with their entire entourage while your bag goes by for the 3rd time. Bastards.

 

7. The people who don't understand the concept of today's security screenings. I always seem to get behind someone who didn't take their laptop out of their bag or has their belt on or didn't know they needed to take their ID out even though it says it in big red letters to take out ID and boarding pass or didn't realize they couldn't bring a pocket knife with them on the plane. I usually am in and out quick... shoes off, laptop in a separate bin, wallet/keys/phones (and anything else in my pockets) out, etc. I have a sinking feeling that this part of our upcoming trip is going to be a whole new ballgame as well. Baby bottles (full of milk), and all kinds of other crap that we're going to be bringing, could make the security check a nightmare.

 

8. The people who don't realize the airports provide an area for you to reassemble everything after going through security & do it all at the end of the x-ray conveyor holding up everyone else from getting their gear. Bastards.

 

9. People who stand in the middle of the people movers. Even if I'm not in a hurry to a flight it irritates me to see people who are have to ask these morans to step aside so they can get by. Bastards.

 

10. People who use my seat back as a handrail to get up when I'm sleeping. Makes for a very rude awakening. I don't do this (I typically don't get up during the flight), but I'm afraid I've kneed a few people in the back, just due to my height. Knees are usually crammed into the seat in front of me, unless we are fortunate enough to get emergency row seats. Of course, now with the little one, those days are over as well. I just hope we're not getting up with the baby, mid-flight, just in an attempt to calm her down (I'm not sure how well she'll sleep on the plane). On the other hand, there might be enough "white noise" to put her right to sleep, sort of like in the car... who knows.

 

and one for good measure:

 

The people who go to the automated check-in, but have to wait for an attendant to come tel them how to use it. First off, the things are simpler than an ATM to use and pretty much walk you through step-by-step, but if you didn't know how to use it in the first place then you should have just waited for the desk. Bastards.

[rajncajn]

6) The fact our planes don't have armed military guards with uzis (a la El Al). Go ahead - make that guy's day... and mine too.

Yeah, please keep the firearms off my flight, thank you. However, a couple of guys with tazers would be nice.

 

Another... The guy who can't pack his crap so it's easy to get to. As soon as the plane takes off he's struggling with his 30 lb bag in the overhead looming right over you and his junk in your face.

[Big John]

7) Those who can't take a hint - hey sister... I put this set of earbuds in for a reason - so I can watch my episodes of Family Guy on my phone, not so you could ask me every question about my phone, and the shows I'm watching, and... just leave me the F alone. Unless you're Sara Jean Underwood, don't bother me.

Had one experience of the guy sitting next to me trying to "save me" by converting to his faith during the whole flight.