Azazello1313 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Doesn't seem any different than a wedding invitation with a gift registry on it to me. Get them a spice rack. +1 BeeR, do you feel cheated because you weren't there when they said, "I do"? he feels cheated because he missed the hawt "now you may kiss the other groom" it's ok, his body might still be warm, but his heart has been ice-cold for decades speaking of which, any chance they freeze his head next to ted williams? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You can usually get a pretty decent spice rack at Target for $20.00 - $30.00. or a fire place set. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Where is the party ? A formal banquet place, a Restaurant ? They are having it @ the clubhouse in their neighborhood. Got married but didn't have a wedding? I'm not sure I understand that... do you just mean that they had a private wedding with just them, a witness and a JOTP? Private wedding in Gatlinburg, TN Meaning what, they're gay? Yeah IMO that's tacky and a pretty obvious attempt to loot their "friends." No wedding, why expect a wedding present? Get them a "blessed union present." How about the ACLU Handbook? Not ghey Thanks for all the input everyone. I was just curious what others thought about this. Whether it's on the registry or not...I'm going with the spice rack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I think tacky--now if for a shower (baby or wedding), it can be notated on the invitation, but many people still choose to leave that info off...if the invitees need to know where the people are registered, they can call the host/hostess and be informed, or do an internet search at common stores where people are likely to register for their event. Oh and bring a gift or gift card from bed bath & beyond anyway:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I think tacky--now if for a shower (baby or wedding), it can be notated on the invitation, that's because people throw showers for other people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I've gotten invites like this before. My wife and I buy a present and go have fun. Doesn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 that's because people throw showers for other people exactly:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 that's because people throw showers for other people [spain]Including couple's showers? [/spain] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditkaless Wonders Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Go in with several of the other guests and get the wife a chest upgrade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) If we're talking about a young couple just getting started, it ain't fancy, but it ain't tacky. *You* are helping them obtain their first household necessities. *They* are being practical enough to tell you whether or not they need a waffle iron or a coffee maker. If you expect some big dog and pony show that costs more than the total gifts they receive, then you're being the chives[/u] - not them. This is just one of those culturally acceptable forms of begging, like trick-or-treating and social security. But I suppose it'd be tacky if the couple is already well off or they are older and more established. Edited October 6, 2011 by yo mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh B Tool Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Not tacky at all. Just because they put where they're registered on any invite, DOES NOT mean they expect a present. It is just common wedding/blissful union SOP. Anyone whom thinks this is tacky because you feel forced to buy a gift, that you admitted you would have bought anyway, is exceedingly tacky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 If we're talking about a young couple just getting started, it ain't fancy, but it ain't tacky. *You* are helping them obtain their first household necessities. *They* are being practical enough to tell you whether or not they need a waffle iron or a coffee maker. If you expect some big dog and pony show that costs more than the total gifts they receive, then you're being the chives[/u] - not them. This is just one of those culturally acceptable forms of begging, like trick-or-treating and social security. But I suppose it'd be tacky if the couple is already well off or they are older and more established. This is both their 2nd marriages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) This is both their 2nd marriages. 2nd marriages are customarily not as grandiose as the first, so the party format isn't necessarily in poor taste, and is perhaps a function of their economic reality. But on the same note, you generally have lowered expectations regarding gifts with 2nd marriages. But if they're under 30, then stuff like pots and pans from Target = not tacky. Plus, some folks are going to actually WANT to bring a gift and its easier on everyone if they don't have to ask around to find out where the couple is registered. As a guest, my wife would be irritated if that information wasn't on the invite. I don't see a problem here, unless the couple is registering for greedy stuff like high-end electronics. Edited October 6, 2011 by yo mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 also this reminds me of that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Ben Stiller's birthday invite read "no gifts" hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Not tacky. If I'm invited to a wedding, whether it's the ceremony or party or both, I expect to bring them a gift. So the registry note at the bottom is appreciated because I don't have to make a phone call or ask around or try to guess what to get them. This Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Kind of off topic but my friends think I'm an ass because I have a "travel" rule in place. If I have to buy a plane ticket exceeding $200 and pay for a hotel too, my presence is your present. Yeah, go ahead - judge me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Yep, ours was a 600 taco cookout, my Dad bought the food and FIL bought the Beer What can I say, I like tacos. My present was the special sauce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 (edited) Not tacky. If I'm invited to a wedding,Irrelevant since you weren't. If you're going to a wedding (or blissful union celebration), you're supposed to bring a gift. Everyone knows this. ? Hardly. Comparing a wedding to a post-went-to-the-JOP-but-you-weren't-even-invited-to-that party is a pretty weak comparison. PS I don't care how broke they are (can't say but doesn't sound like it anyway), they could have had SOME kind of wedding, even on a shoestring budget. Sounds like they purposely chose to just show up at JOP and sign a piece of paper. And that's fine, to each their own, but to forego that (and, conveniently, the cost/effort involved, even tho it could have been very modest) then have a party expecting gifts is verrrry tacky IMO. So, it's tacky for them to make it easy for you? It's tacky not to invite anyone to your "union" and then go "but we're having a party later; here's where to buy a gift for us that you will bring." How that isn't obvious I've no idea. Not ghey Just fn with ya. Hope they like the rack. spice rack that is. (you have to specify that here) also this reminds me of that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Ben Stiller's birthday invite read "no gifts" lol, thought of that too. He makes some great observations on social BS like that. Edited October 7, 2011 by BeeR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Scratch the spice rack...the one they want is $50. I think I'll get them a spatula. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Assuming you (and your guest) are getting dinner and drinks out of the deal....spend at least enough to cover that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaterMan Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Nothing is tacky in the Great Depression 2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Irrelevant since you weren't. ? Hardly. Comparing a wedding to a post-went-to-the-JOP-but-you-weren't-even-invited-to-that party is a pretty weak comparison. PS I don't care how broke they are (can't say but doesn't sound like it anyway), they could have had SOME kind of wedding, even on a shoestring budget. Sounds like they purposely chose to just show up at JOP and sign a piece of paper. And that's fine, to each their own, but to forego that (and, conveniently, the cost/effort involved, even tho it could have been very modest) then have a party expecting gifts is verrrry tacky IMO. It's tacky not to invite anyone to your "union" and then go "but we're having a party later; here's where to buy a gift for us that you will bring." How that isn't obvious I've no idea. Just fn with ya. Hope they like the rack. spice rack that is. (you have to specify that here) lol, thought of that too. He makes some great observations on social BS like that. Dude, they didn't have a wedding. You seem to be implying that they had one, made a point of not inviting the OP, and then are having some sloppy seconds party for all the people not cool enough to come to their wedding but those who didn't make the cut can still bring gifts. Sounds to me like, basically, this is their "wedding". Only, they're skipping the part where you have to stand up and listen to some chick read a psalm or Dr. Suess poem, then the exchange of vows, and are just going right to the eating, drinking, and dancing part. Sounds fine to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Kind of off topic but my friends think I'm an ass because I have a "travel" rule in place. If I have to buy a plane ticket exceeding $200 and pay for a hotel too, my presence is your present. Yeah, go ahead - judge me. I guess then on your invitation I would write at the bottom, “In lieu of your presence please just send us a check equaling your estimated travel expenses” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 (edited) Kind of off topic but my friends think I'm an ass because I have a "travel" rule in place. If I have to buy a plane ticket exceeding $200 and pay for a hotel too, my presence is your present. Yeah, go ahead - judge me. Every time I've been invited to such a wedding, the couple has made a point of saying as much. Which, I'm guessing some would find "tacky" because it's like they're giving me permission not to buy them a present. Like I need that from them. The more I think about it, married people are a-holes. Edited October 7, 2011 by detlef Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 (edited) Get them the $30.00 spice rack and include a note that if they make it 5 years for their anniversary you'll get them a $20.00 Target gift card so they can upgrade spice racks. If I've got to buy a plane ticket and hotel room to attend your wedding, you are getting an invoice, not a gift. Edited October 7, 2011 by Clubfoothead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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