godtomsatan Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 How many of you have friend's who have physically harmed a current/former mate? How did this effect your relationship? Did you believe his side of things, or did you automatically assume he's lying when he says he didn't do anything to warrant being arrested? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I've yet to encounter a situation like this but if I found out he did put a hand on a woman I'd probably beat him to an inch of his life. Sounds like you're in an awkward situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I don't know anyone like that, that I know of except me, and I didn't do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 How many of you have friend's who have physically harmed a current/former mate? How did this effect your relationship? Did you believe his side of things, or did you automatically assume he's lying when he says he didn't do anything to warrant being arrested? if you are close to the friend (or family member), then i think you know. i've had experience with this and despite what my heart wanted to believe, i learned that i have to follow my experience and my gut. if they are telling you that it is true, then it comes down to how vested you are in the friendship/relationship. if it is family or dear friend, you need to get them help. if it is a more casual acquaintance, unless you are a saint, remove that element from your life because it is not healthy for you or your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hat Trick Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 dont say that I do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 (edited) Personally, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt the first time. There's always the possibility of a misunderstanding or manipulation of the situation. It still warrants a significant discussion though. There is no doubt though if it happens again that a hard line must be drawn. I'm assuming that this is someone that you don't want to immediately cut ties to. Edited June 21, 2007 by Kid Cid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 That's a very difficult question to answer if you don't know the whole situation IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godtomsatan Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 That's a very difficult question to answer if you don't know the whole situation IMO. What do you mean? If you have experience with the situation, I would think you can answer the question as it was laid out. As far as the particulars in this instance, I really don't want to know more than I already do. I find it difficult to believe that someone would make up a story to the degree that this one has reached, especially after being the one to end the relationship a couple months earlier. Almost as difficult as believing my friend would choke a woman to the point she passes out (her version; he says he threw his cell phone at her). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I have a pretty good friend that used to beat his girlfriend. When me and another friend found out about it, we whipped his ass, and told him we would do it again if he did it again. He didn't do it again, and we are still friends with both him and his girlfriend though they are no longer together. Of course this was in college, and things have changed some since then, we'd probably go to jail now if we whipped his ass like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I was actually accused by a crazy ex once that I had hit her. She just wanted to get back at me for breaking up with her so she told her boyfriend that I had hit her once I went off to college. When I came back my freshman summer I proceeded to get death threats/ kick my ass threats from him and it all came to a boil one night after I invited him over to my house and we'd settle this once and for all. He told me he'd have his gun with him. Well, I grabbed a baseball bat and waited for him. As soon as he rounded the corner in his car with her in it I proceeded to take batting practice on his car. He peeled out and ended up driving into a dead end street. At this point I thought he was going to get out and shoot me but all he did was floor it and try to run me over. Luckily I had two hugh rocks in my hand and threw them at his windshield. He swerved and drove off. 3 days later I get a call from the cops and they want me to come in because he was pressing charges. I had my parents lawyer come in with me and the circumstances were revealed why I went nuts on the guy. All charges were dropped and I never had to pay a penny for the damages. She ended up coming clean later on after we threatened to file charges against her boyfriend. Oh, he said he was only kidding that he had a gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMD Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I've been plenty mad at a woman before but I have never, nor would ever, strike a woman. I don't know of anyone who has though I am sure it happens behind closed doors and you just never know. I'm old-school on most things and there is just never a reason that justifies striking or physically abusing a woman. It reveals a character flaw (to say the least) of the man. If a good friend physically abused a woman once, maybe I could get past that as a one-time thing that got out of hand and I did not know the particulars but twice and he's just not the person that I thought he was. That's a serious problem that needs to be attended to by professionals IMO. Tough call but I might be able to look past it once if it was explained to me in a way I could believe and the person seemed legitimately contrite and remorseful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMD Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I was actually accused by a crazy ex once that I had hit her. She just wanted to get back at me for breaking up with her so she told her boyfriend that I had hit her once I went off to college. .... Man I hate women like that - it's almost as bad as falsely claiming to be raped. And I imagine we all at least know of one woman like that in the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Almost as difficult as believing my friend would choke a woman to the point she passes out Some women get off on that.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I know one ..and it was a one time incident and both he and her both stated it was an accident ..really good guy and I do believe both of them ...thankfully I do not know of others...women can drive you crazy but hands off always Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Man I hate women like that - it's almost as bad as falsely claiming to be raped. And I imagine we all at least know of one woman like that in the past. My junior or senior year in college, a guy in another fraternity was accused by a girl. The school paper had an article on it, withholding names, but making a hugh deal out of the fact that he was in a fraternity, although the situation had nothing to do with the fraternity (it was not the result of a fraternity activity, etc.). Certainly caused issues between the general and the Greek community... and the Greek community was very small at my school. The guy was suspended from school pending the investigation, etc. After the investigation, it came out that basically the girl had made up the accusations and she recanted her story (not sure if it was drinking thing where she was okay with it until the next morning or if it was a spite thing, was not privvy to details). To the shock of no one, there was not a single line of print in the school newspaper clearing this guy. Letters to the editor regarding this, plus questioning the journalistic need to include the lines about his membership in a fraternity (why no mention of other student groups he was a part of, or including student organizations other people were members of that were accused and/or convicted of crimes on campus that were written about) went unpublished and unanswered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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