detlef Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 (edited) So, this lady comes in today and informs her server that she's "Deathly allergic to MSG". Whenever we hear the "d" word, we obviously take things very seriously and our response is the same. "As far as we're concerned, we don't use any products that contain MSG. However, labeling standards in Asia aren't the same as here and we use a lot of products from there. If it was simply a matter of an aversion, we'd feel confident just trusting the labels. However, because you said "deathly", that's not a chance we want to take. Thus, we'd be happy to prepare something off the menu that doesn't contain any ingredients that may be so labeled" So, she thanks us and the cooks put together a sandwich that doesn't contain any asian products. Everything's cool. Next thing, the waiter goes over, and the lady is trying everything off everyone else's plate at the table! The waiter tells the woman that everyone else's food contains the very ingredients that we specifically avoided. "Oh, I know, they just all looked so tasty" Edited June 24, 2008 by detlef Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 If I was the waiter, I would have stabbed her in the hand because I don't fn play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Sounds like a night at a Haitian brothel. I wanted to be safe, but they all look so tasty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 Sounds like a night at a Haitian brothel. I wanted to be safe, but they all look so tasty. I mean, when's the next time I'm gonna be in Haiti? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 the freedom the epi-pen allows!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 she's allergic to salt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Irish Doggy Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Death is so relative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I would have thrown a bucket of hot grease on her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 she's allergic to salt? Well, that is an interesting wrinkle. Have you read Jeffery Steingarten's essay entitled "Why Doesn't Everyone in China Have a Headache?" He pretty much destroys the entire MSG allergy theory by first proving that all the studies done in the 60s weren't remotely scientific and then showing that, in a more recent study, 80% of those who claimed to have an allergy did not show any adverse reactions to dosages smaller than consuming 2 tablespoons disolved in 8 oz of water. At which point, they "felt flushed". Here's a fun trick. Dissolve 2 tablespoons of salt in 8 oz of water and see if you can even drink it without puking instantly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 When she dies, can I have the body? Ya know, to have sex with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 When she dies, can I have the body? Ya know, to have sex with. Sorry dude, she's alive and well. Either we got really lucky and none of the suspect products actually contained any MSG or she's full of chight. Well, there's always the chance that both of those are true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonkis Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 You should have walked by and asked her "Is it hot enough for ya?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Sorry dude, she's alive and well. Either we got really lucky and none of the suspect products actually contained any MSG or she's full of chight. Well, there's always the chance that both of those are true. Is it too late to chase her down the street and beat her in the head? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 Is it too late to chase her down the street and beat her in the head? You of all people should know that it's never, ever too late to do that. C'mon man, you're slipping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 You should have walked by and asked her "Is it hot enough for ya?" Do you mean the soup or the heat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I would have thrown a bucket of hot grease on her. I hate doing this but that made me laugh out loud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westvirginia Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I would have thrown a bucket of hot grease on her. There's no grease in his restaurant - he makes toast... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 There's no grease in his restaurant - he makes toast... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 (edited) After I saw that I would have told her that I hope the waiters man yogurt doesnt contain MSG and when she asked what that means I would have said its an Ancient Chinese secret Edited June 26, 2008 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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