Czarina Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Tell your father with the expectation that this is going to hurt him but you know he can handle it. People tend to live up to our expectations. And truly, I'm sorry for this loss. If you treat him like someone who can't handle it, it will confirm his worst fears about himself. He deserves to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 If you treat him like someone who can't handle it, it will confirm his worst fears about himself. He deserves to know. This is a GREAT point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackshi17 Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 He should be told. Don't think the family should even consider not telling him. Sorry to hear about all your problems and i hope everything works out for the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopher Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 This is a GREAT point. +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted June 30, 2009 Author Share Posted June 30, 2009 (edited) We told him last night and thankfully he handled it pretty well. He got a big wide eyed look and his mouth dropped open. He was no doubt in shock by the news. My wife and kids visited him during the day so when I got there with my brother and Mom he was in a pretty good mood. He had fun with my girls. When we told him a Doctor was present in the hallway to be sure medically he was OK because we honeslty didnt know how he was going to react and as I mentioned his blood pressure has been out of whack since the surgery. We stayed about an hour after delivering the news and then he went to bed. He does want to go to the wake so the facility is arranging an ambulet to take him to the afternoon viewing. It was very difficult news to deliver and watching his reaction was very hard. You hate to see someone you love hear news like that. My dads parents both died before I was born. His sister died last year and his brother was the last of his immediate family aside from him. That is what is hitting him hard about all of this because he kept repeating "I am the only one left" last night. I am very glad we decided to tell him . Going in to yesterday I was very on the fence because I had his well being in mind. The resounding opinion on here to tell him really was a comfort to me and the opinions and view points that I didnt think of were very valuable to me. I thank all of you very much. Edited June 30, 2009 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 We told him last night and thankfully he handled it pretty well. He got a big wide eyed look and his mouth dropped open. He was no doubt in shock by the news. My wife and kids visited him during the day so when I got there with my brother and Mom he was in a pretty good mood. He had fun with my girls. When we told him a Doctor was present in the hallway to be sure medically he was OK because we honeslty didnt know how he was going to react and as I mentioned his blood pressure has been out of whack since the surgery. We stayed about an hour after delivering the news and then he went to bed. He does want to go to the wake so the facility is arranging an ambulet to take him to the afternoon viewing. It was very difficult news to deliver and watching his reaction was very hard. You hate to see someone you love hear news like that. My dads parents both died before I was born. His sister died last year and his brother was the last of his immediate family aside from him. That is what is hitting him hard about all of this because he kept repeating "I am the only one left" last night. I am very glad we decided to tell him . Going in to yesterday I was very on the fence because I had his well being in mind. The resounding opinion on here to tell him really was a comfort to me and the opinions and view points that I didnt think of were very valuable to me. I thank all of you very much. Glad to hear that he took it so well Chris, your family is still in our Prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Glad to hear that he took it so well Chris, your family is still in our Prayers Indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbimm Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Your a good man Whomper. The love for your family is very clear to see! Hang in there bro we are all here for ya if ya need us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Glad to hear that the worst wasn't realized. Hang in there bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 You're a good son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Glad to hear that he took it so well Chris, your family is still in our Prayers +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 It is his brother and he has the right to know That was my first thought. I would imagine you run the risk of doing something your father will never, ever forgive you for. I'm so sorry for your loss, especially in a trying time like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Your a good man Whomper. The love for your family is very clear to see! Hang in there bro we are all here for ya if ya need us! +1 Hopefully he can how handle the viewing with the same composure he showed when hearing this news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 I'm glad you told him--it was the right thing to do. If my brother died and nobody told me, I would pretty much never get over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Sorry to hear everything Whomp. The common theme, which I ditto, is that you have to tell him. I know you're being protective and that's commendable, but the cons outweigh the pros if you choose not to share that info with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprofessor Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 We told him last night and thankfully he handled it pretty well. He got a big wide eyed look and his mouth dropped open. He was no doubt in shock by the news. My wife and kids visited him during the day so when I got there with my brother and Mom he was in a pretty good mood. He had fun with my girls. When we told him a Doctor was present in the hallway to be sure medically he was OK because we honeslty didnt know how he was going to react and as I mentioned his blood pressure has been out of whack since the surgery. We stayed about an hour after delivering the news and then he went to bed. He does want to go to the wake so the facility is arranging an ambulet to take him to the afternoon viewing. It was very difficult news to deliver and watching his reaction was very hard. You hate to see someone you love hear news like that. My dads parents both died before I was born. His sister died last year and his brother was the last of his immediate family aside from him. That is what is hitting him hard about all of this because he kept repeating "I am the only one left" last night. I am very glad we decided to tell him . Going in to yesterday I was very on the fence because I had his well being in mind. The resounding opinion on here to tell him really was a comfort to me and the opinions and view points that I didnt think of were very valuable to me. I thank all of you very much. Your decision was the right one and I'm sure that your feeling some peace about your decision. Your love for your family and for your Dad resonates through your messages. There's no doubt that your father is very proud of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Irish Doggy Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Well done. All my best to you and family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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