Cunning Runt Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I would fall into the group that would simply ignore the invitation. Nahh... not me. I'm always looking for an excuse to do a little partying with friends. And if that's what it took to bring a bunch of good friends together, I'm all for it. No gift though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Get a $100 gift card for a boob job or a weight loss program for the wife. It ain't like she's not going to hate all his friends after the marriage anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 'and we got all their names on a list'... Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Slightly off-topic, but I'm going to vent for a moment... Couple years ago my wife's brother got married and my wife was one of NINE bridesmaids. One of the bride's friends planned a wedding shower at a very ritzy venue which often hosts actual weddings. Despite objections from several of us over the cost, the shower went ahead as planned, each bridesmaid contributing $600. Yes, that's six hundred American, for the privilege of watching Princess sit there and look excited over lingerie and toaster ovens. My wife was also asked to chip in for a cash gift at the shower but we had to draw the line (and we were broke from paying for the shower). With my wife's dress, chipping in for the limo/booze, and their gift we paid over a grand for that wedding. It pisses me off to this day (if that was not obvious). Worst of all, we both helped out with various tasks like stocking the limo and their suite, and never received thanks of any kind. Getting married is an exciting time but you can't act like (other peoples') money is no object, or that family and friends should gladly become your unpaid servants. A simple acknowledgement and heartfelt thanks for our time, effort and expenditures would have gone a long way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Slightly off-topic, but I'm going to vent for a moment... Couple years ago my wife's brother got married and my wife was one of NINE bridesmaids. One of the bride's friends planned a wedding shower at a very ritzy venue which often hosts actual weddings. Despite objections from several of us over the cost, the shower went ahead as planned, each bridesmaid contributing $600. Yes, that's six hundred American, for the privilege of watching Princess sit there and look excited over lingerie and toaster ovens. My wife was also asked to chip in for a cash gift at the shower but we had to draw the line (and we were broke from paying for the shower). With my wife's dress, chipping in for the limo/booze, and their gift we paid over a grand for that wedding. It pisses me off to this day (if that was not obvious). Worst of all, we both helped out with various tasks like stocking the limo and their suite, and never received thanks of any kind. Getting married is an exciting time but you can't act like (other peoples') money is no object, or that family and friends should gladly become your unpaid servants. A simple acknowledgement and heartfelt thanks for our time, effort and expenditures would have gone a long way. your wife should have told her brother that she would contribute $600 to pay to get him a membership in an online dating site so that he could find somebody else to marry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Slightly off-topic, but I'm going to vent for a moment... Couple years ago my wife's brother got married and my wife was one of NINE bridesmaids. One of the bride's friends planned a wedding shower at a very ritzy venue which often hosts actual weddings. Despite objections from several of us over the cost, the shower went ahead as planned, each bridesmaid contributing $600. Yes, that's six hundred American, for the privilege of watching Princess sit there and look excited over lingerie and toaster ovens. My wife was also asked to chip in for a cash gift at the shower but we had to draw the line (and we were broke from paying for the shower). With my wife's dress, chipping in for the limo/booze, and their gift we paid over a grand for that wedding. It pisses me off to this day (if that was not obvious). Worst of all, we both helped out with various tasks like stocking the limo and their suite, and never received thanks of any kind. Getting married is an exciting time but you can't act like (other peoples') money is no object, or that family and friends should gladly become your unpaid servants. A simple acknowledgement and heartfelt thanks for our time, effort and expenditures would have gone a long way. Put bluntly, no fn way do I give up $600 for a "ritzy" wedding shower. I don't care who calls me cheap or puts my name on the list. In fact, put my name on the list and never invite me to another fn event in your life again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 Put bluntly, no fn way do I give up $600 for a "ritzy" wedding shower. I don't care who calls me cheap or puts my name on the list. In fact, put my name on the list and never invite me to another fn event in your life again. + Egg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 (edited) What amazes me is the difference between what is "the norm" in a wedding gift in NY/NY and the rest of the country. If you go with the cover your plate theory you are going for at least 250-300 to attend a wedding in NJ. If invited to a friends wedding you go for a min of 250 here and if you are in the party or best man or something chances are you go for 500 in a wedding gift. I am best man for a buddy of mine that is getting married in June. I have been like brothers with this guy since we are 10. I happily gave him 100 when they got engaged, I paid 148 for his room in New orleans for his bachelor party , and I plan on putting 500 in his envelope come wedding day Edited February 14, 2010 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 a very good friend of my wife's family had an engagement party for us...but there were no gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 What amazes me is the difference between what is "the norm" in a wedding gift in NY/NY and the rest of the country. If you go with the cover your plate theory you are going for at least 250-300 to attend a wedding in NJ. If invited to a friends wedding you go for a min of 250 here and if you are in the party or best man or something chances are you go for 500 in a wedding gift. I am best man for a buddy of mine that is getting married in June. I have been like brothers with this guy since we are 10. I happily gave him 100 when they got engaged, I paid 148 for his room in New orleans for his bachelor party , and I plan on putting 500 in his envelope come wedding day And that is your choice. I see a difference between willingly giving a close friend a nice wedding gift and arranging a wedding shower with a $600 buy in over the objections of several of the wedding party--some of whom may not have had that kind of $$ to drop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 And that is your choice. I see a difference between willingly giving a close friend a nice wedding gift and arranging a wedding shower with a $600 buy in over the objections of several of the wedding party--some of whom may not have had that kind of $$ to drop. Oh I agree with you 100 %. I wasnt making a specific comparison to the situation in this thread , I just find it strange how different the gift giving amounts that are "expected" or "normal" vary so greatly in different parts of the country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 I just find it strange how different the gift giving amounts that are "expected" or "normal" vary so greatly in different parts of the country. The difference is that in other parts of the country, the bridal party is not expected to have to cover the groom's hair gel and tanning lotion expenses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackass Posted February 14, 2010 Author Share Posted February 14, 2010 well, if anyone cares i just got back from the party. I brought a nice bottle of wine. From what i could tell, it looked like some people brought something but a good amount of people didn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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