Cooking mishaps

[driveby]

This happened more than 25 years ago and my wife still gives me grief about it. We hadn't been living in Texas long and really took a liking to Texas bar-b-que. Ribs, link sausage, brisket, etc.

 

So one day for some reason I figured I'd make my own brisket and treat my wife. I went out and bought a little gas smoker, I think it was a Brinkman, and a nice brisket.

 

This was before the internet and cooking shows and such so I really had no idea what I was doing.

 

I trimmed every bit of fat off that sucker , fired up the smoker, and threw that bad boy on.

 

All I knew about cooking brisket at the time was how they were supposed to look on the outside, so I smoked the $hit out of that poor brisket until it looked absolutely perfect.

 

Brought it into the house and tried to slice off a piece. I couldn't have cut that thing with a chainsaw.

 

I think we ended up giving it to the dogs and it took them the better part of a week to finish it off.

[Rovers]

I left a massive batch of meatballs and "gravy" in a slow cooker overnight, thinking it would thicken and be just freakin yummy being simmered for so long. Chit was burnt. Lost about 20 meatballs, 16 sausages and a gallon of sauce.

 

Had one of my mutts, who was previously always very well behaved steal an entire prime rib off the table. I mean the entire roast.

[keggerz]

I once forgot that I had a pork tenderloin on the grill...don't remember how long I forgot but the entire thing was blackened and a total loss.

[Perchoutofwater]

I once tried to make jerky on the smoker instead of in a dehydrator or the oven. It was terrible.

[Bier Meister]

a couple of common mishaps in commercial kitchens: overcooking croutons and milk/cream overflowing when scalding.

[Scooby's Hubby]

it always happens on your first turkey or your first brisket. i knew a girl (not scooby) that cooked her first turkey but forgot to take out the neck and othere organs and giblets. The turkey was pretty ... pretty worthless.

[polksalet]

it always happens on your first turkey or your first brisket. i knew a girl (not scooby) that cooked her first turkey but forgot to take out the neck and othere organs and giblets. The turkey was pretty ... pretty worthless.

 

I cook the turkey neck and guts in

[Scooby]

lol to all the above;) I tried to make breakfast for my folks in grade school--scrambled eggs with chopped up bacon pieces...I didn't cook the bacon beforehand, just threw it in with the eggs. My Polish dad didn't care, he ate it anyway lol! No wasting food with the Polish folk;)

[Scooby's Hubby]

I cook the turkey neck and guts in

but not while it is still in the paper bag , at least I hope.

[Rovers]

but not while it is still in the paper bag , at least I hope.

 

Flashback.... bachelor house, circa 1984 or so. We decide we're gonna do Thanksgiving dinner. I swear, we weren't ghey... just in a dry spell. So, there are now six of us, and one guy says he knows how to roast a Turkey. He didn't, but insisted he did. We let him loose.

 

Yup, he cooked the bird with all the innards, still in the bag. Never washed it, no salt or pepper. Just threw it in the oven. We ate it, it wasn't horrible and no one died. We didn't even know he was doing Stove Top Stuffing. He was fined and cut from the roster.

Edited July 22, 2010 by Rovers

[Boilerduff]

So, My wife and I moved in together a couple of months before we got married, and it was valentines day. I decided I woudl make her a cookie, heart shaped, of course. So I mix all the ingredients together, get the dough going, shape the whole thing up, throw it in the oven. Take the thing out, and it is a gelatin like liquid which no longer holds any shape.

 

As it turns out, flour is a really important ingredient, and one you should not forget to put into the mix.....

[sundaynfl]

When I was still single,we would always have a Monday Night Football get together and it was my turn, so I grilled up some T-bones and the potatoes weren't done... since I didn't have any paper towels to wrap them in, I threw them into an old t-shirt and set the microwave on high. A few minutes later smoke and flames were billowing out of the microwave.

[polksalet]

but not while it is still in the paper bag , at least I hope.

 

not often

[Rovers]

When I was still single,we would always have a Monday Night Football get together and it was my turn, so I grilled up some T-bones and the potatoes weren't done... since I didn't have any paper towels to wrap them in, I threw them into an old t-shirt and set the microwave on high. A few minutes later smoke and flames were billowing out of the microwave.

 

You attempted to cook food in an old t-shirt?

 

Forgot my worst disaster, but it wasn't while cooking food. When I first started to brew beer, it was on the stove. Wort can boil over in an instant, and it did. It literally took hours to clean the hardened residue off the stove top.

[Kid Cid]

You attempted to cook food in an old t-shirt?

 

Forgot my worst disaster, but it wasn't while cooking food. When I first started to brew beer, it was on the stove. Wort can boil over in an instant, and it did. It literally took hours to clean the hardened residue off the stove top.

+1

[Scooby's Hubby]

When I was still single,we would always have a Monday Night Football get together and it was my turn, so I grilled up some T-bones and the potatoes weren't done... since I didn't have any paper towels to wrap them in, I threw them into an old t-shirt and set the microwave on high. A few minutes later smoke and flames were billowing out of the microwave.

funny

 

Scooby has some tupperware dome designed to microwave potatoes in, she says they are good but I won't eat anything cooked in a microwave - ok ok yes bacon and nachos, but nothing else, leftovers only. Nothing is worse than microwaved eggs.

[SheikYerbuti]

I've made tons of kitchen disasters, but my all time best so far was the first time I made pesto. I didn't know the difference between a clove of garlic and a bulb. Recipe called for 2 cloves, I used 2 BULBS.

 

"Is pesto supposed to make you cry?"

 

"I don't think so. . . "

[nogohawk]

A few years ago, we cooked a nice pot roast for dinner. Went into the dining room to eat and when we came back for seconds ... it was gone!

 

Our German Shepard had stood up an pulled the entire roast off the counter and devoured it in minutes (probably a couple of lbs was left)!

 

Bad part, it as a damn good roast!

[HowboutthemCowboys]

I've made tons of kitchen disasters, but my all time best so far was the first time I made pesto. I didn't know the difference between a clove of garlic and a bulb. Recipe called for 2 cloves, I used 2 BULBS.

 

"Is pesto supposed to make you cry?"

 

"I don't think so. . . "

[Jimmy Neutron]

I once tried to make jerky on the smoker instead of in a dehydrator or the oven. It was terrible.

 

Really? I make all my jerky on the smoker - love it.

[Yukon Cornelius]

This happened more than 25 years ago and my wife still gives me grief about it. We hadn't been living in Texas long and really took a liking to Texas bar-b-que. Ribs, link sausage, brisket, etc.

 

So one day for some reason I figured I'd make my own brisket and treat my wife. I went out and bought a little gas smoker, I think it was a Brinkman, and a nice brisket.

 

This was before the internet and cooking shows and such so I really had no idea what I was doing.

 

I trimmed every bit of fat off that sucker , fired up the smoker, and threw that bad boy on.

 

All I knew about cooking brisket at the time was how they were supposed to look on the outside, so I smoked the $hit out of that poor brisket until it looked absolutely perfect.

 

Brought it into the house and tried to slice off a piece. I couldn't have cut that thing with a chainsaw.

 

I think we ended up giving it to the dogs and it took them the better part of a week to finish it off.

this is what happens when you play slowpitch.

 

Really? I make all my jerky on the smoker - love it.

yup me 2 . smoker is the only way to make jerky