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Kid Funny of the Day


Chief Dick
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So the boys come out of the tub, and they are in our room getting their pj's on. Here's the exchange:

 

3yo: Daddy, I'm playing with my nuts.

 

Me: Don't play with your nuts.

 

5yo: Daddy, they're his nuts.

 

:tup:

 

He'a a sharp one :wacko:

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:tup:

 

Neighbor's little girl, she's 3 or 4 apparenlty loves me for some reason. LOL, she'll scream across the street "I love you!"

 

Anyways, a couple of months ago I'm talking to her father, and she's about belt high looking up at me. I've put some wieght on, going from 33's to 36's, and she says "Are you gonna have a baby?" :wacko:

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Yesterday my youngest lets out a wailing cry upstairs. My wife and I go running upstairs. Her fish, Justin Drew Bieber, died. He was a record holding goldfish in our house. we won him at a school fair about 3 years ago. Not a bad survival rate for a goldfish. Anyway in the midst of her tears she floors us with this line. One minute I looked at him and he was fine then I turned around and he looks like sushi floating at the top of his tank.

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Yesterday my youngest lets out a wailing cry upstairs. My wife and I go running upstairs. Her fish, Justin Drew Bieber, died. He was a record holding goldfish in our house. we won him at a school fair about 3 years ago. Not a bad survival rate for a goldfish. Anyway in the midst of her tears she floors us with this line. One minute I looked at him and he was fine then I turned around and he looks like sushi floating at the top of his tank.

:wacko:

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From about a month ago?

 

3 year-old: Daddy, is mommy older than you are?

 

Me: no, I am older than mommy

 

3 year-old: Then why is she taller than you?

 

 

:tup:

 

:lol:

 

My 4 year olds newest thing is that he "thinks" things are going to happen.

 

Me: We're going to Grandpa's today.

4YO: Is Grandma going to be there.

Me: No, she's working, she won't be there.

4YO: Well, I think she's going to be there.

Me: You may think that, but I know she won't be there, she's working.

4YO: Yes, but I think she will be there.

Me: But I am telling you, she is working, she won't be there.

4YO: [nowslighlyagitated]But I think she is going to be there.

Me: OK, fine, you can think that. :wacko:

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:tup:

 

My 4 year olds newest thing is that he "thinks" things are going to happen.

 

Me: We're going to Grandpa's today.

4YO: Is Grandma going to be there.

Me: No, she's working, she won't be there.

4YO: Well, I think she's going to be there.

Me: You may think that, but I know she won't be there, she's working.

4YO: Yes, but I think she will be there.

Me: But I am telling you, she is working, she won't be there.

4YO: [nowslighlyagitated]But I think she is going to be there.

Me: OK, fine, you can think that. :wacko:

 

Is it possible that Brentastic is her father?

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My mother watches my kids in the morning and then takes them to school. She's very big on trying to avoid discussing the normal happenings such as my son getting wood.

 

One day my son is trying to explain to her that weird things are happening to his penis. He tells her that it feels like his penis is getting up in the morning and stretching out it's leg. He then asked why does it do that? My mother's response is that he just has to go to the bathroom really bad. For awhile, every time he pitched a tent he would run to the bathroom and try to take a piss, only to complain that he doesn't understand that if he has to go so badly, why it just won't come out easily.

Edited by irish
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My mother watches my kids in the morning and then takes them to school. She's very big on trying to avoid discussing the normal happenings such as my son getting wood.

 

One day my son is trying to explain to her that weird things are happening to his penis. He tells her that it feels like his penis is getting up in the morning and stretching out it's leg. He then asked why does it do that? My mother's response is that he just has to go to the bathroom really bad. For awhile, every time he pitched a tent he would run to the bathroom and try to take a piss, only to complain that he doesn't understand that if he has to go so badly, why it just won't come out easily.

:wacko:

That right there explains everything I need to know about you.

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