Chief Dick Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a beautiful girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asked…. “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?” So she does… It was a long, deep lingering kiss. After she’s finished, the biker says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That’s a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?” “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelBunz Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alchico Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Miles and Mimi It's a romantic full moon, when Miles said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Mimi. Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Miles begged. "But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Mimi. Please, just once, do Weeweechu with me." Mimi looked at Miles and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu." Miles grabbed his guitar and they both sang..... "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year." MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 a skeleton walks into a bar and says " I'll have a beer ....and a mop " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a beautifulgirl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asked…. “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?” So she does… It was a long, deep lingering kiss. After she’s finished, the biker says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That’s a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?” “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 How come the pony couldn't sing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huzz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 A TOUCHING CHRISTMAS STORY A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. Walking through the mall the surprised wife look up and noticed her husband was no where around and she was very upset because they had a lot to do. She used her cell phone to call her husband because she was so upset, to ask him where he was. The husband in a calm voice said, honey remember the jewelry store we went into 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day. His wife said crying, yes I remember that jewelry store. He said, well I'm in the bar next to it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a beautifulgirl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asked…. “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?” So she does… It was a long, deep lingering kiss. After she’s finished, the biker says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That’s a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?” “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.” This happened to you, didn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 How come the pony couldn't sing? Because she was a little hoarse!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Here is one you can tell the kids... Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Here is one you can tell the kids... Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because when she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Here is one you can tell the kids... Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? 4th time you told that And my reply: Speaking of frogs, is it because the French language doesn't have a word for seventy, and have to say the equivalent of sixty-ten? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 4th time you told that And my reply: Speaking of frogs, is it because the French language doesn't have a word for seventy, and have to say the equivalent of sixty-ten? BJ, you are incredible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 4th time you told that And my reply: Speaking of frogs, is it because the French language doesn't have a word for seventy, and have to say the equivalent of sixty-ten? it's all I got Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries. The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied: "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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