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My Co-Worker Rocks

alexgaddis

By alexgaddis,
in The Tailgate

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alexgaddis Huddler All-Pro

alexgaddis

Posted
Posted

Here is my suggestion the next time you get asked.

 

Dear when I wore my first dressFace Richard, Mark and or Paul -

 

The next time you think to yourself, hey, here is a file that is currently in special exception status. Maybe I should go through the well documented and explanatory notes that are in Aspen. Perhaps before jumping to conclusion and or wondering about said status, the answers will be laid out before my very eyes. Hence, if I get past the point of an answer to said question, maybe then I may proceed to step 2 in the job requirement that were so well labled for me during my training. Training? What is training you ask? Well, traning is that 2 week course that you were forced to partake in that recently wrapped up this past week. A lady in a suit probably stood talking and pointing before you in a cramped room with something called computers. You may know them as the talkie-boxes on your desk that makes the occasional beeping noise and show you pretty pictures. We know you know what these are simply because you have evolved to learning how to work the when I wore my first dressing email apparatus called Outlook, a trait that your less than average chimp can master within the first 45 minutes it's seated in front of a desktop.

 

Nevermind the fact that this training was the second time that you El Guapos have been corraled together to group-learn, simply because you were not able to nail it down the first time. But, I can't quite blame you for that, simply because before there was an incling of a real asset team they needed to create job placements for the semi retarded throw backs that they couldn't afford to can, simply due to bad press and the possible harassment charges of discrimination towards the mentally handicapped. Therefore, you have comfortably filtered in between the cracks of real talent and therefore, you fill the gaps of the almost quality team. Oh wait. The positions that were not filled by the actual intelligent people were filled by ovary regurgitating Russians, shiny faced asians that can't spell, and 1980 bar whores that get their hair cut by uncertified when I wore my first dressups that obviosuly suffer from torrets syndrome.

 

But invision the idea that you actually get past square one and more towards fullfilling the idea that you may have opportunity to make valid progress. Do you think you could think outside the when I wore my first dressing box and get a little more original with your goddamm approach in trying to get an answer of substance? Or perhaps the only sentence you every managed to nail down when learning how to punch in the funny little keys with the funny little symbols on them, on that board in front of you happened to be, "Hey Alex. Are you still handling this file? If so, would you have an update regarding the title issues for this property? Thank you." I mean are you when I wore my first dressing kidding me? Were you perhaps imprisoned for an unspecifide amount of time in some horrific underground brainwashing facility where punsihment was trying to articulate one sentence only in trying to make a connection with others of your own kind? Or do you clearly lack any imagination for trying to consider alternating factors and approaches of how to figure out something for yourself? I mean, try un-latching from the giant wells fargo teet of mass distribution and dysfunctional big brother mentality and branch out to possibly creating your own line of thought. Did we not make it past page one of the when I wore my first dressing handbook of asset management work? No? Really? Okay then, maybe we should try considering how to take the same stock written reply that Alex hands us after every single email that you have sent verbatim. Maybe we should lock in the idea that hey, this is what he always says. He always says that PER THE NOTES and PER PAS REO Litigation matters are to be handled by ____, maybe I should let that mother when I wore my first dressing idea soak in and get it across my lebotimized brain that I should go to when I wore my first dressing Alex on the title team, but perhaps the litigation rep or even the attorney. Better yet, let's make a full when I wore my first dressing circle and come to the notion that you may need to read the very speciifc notes in the goddamm system to try to identify for myself of what the current status may be?

 

But then again, that may be asking far too much for you to consider because honestly, once you have the information, we all know that you'll only be making progress which equates to you cutting and pasting the when I wore my first dressing information in notes back into notes, and really, that is more pathetic than the blind leading the blind, straight over a cliff.

 

Instead, we all know that you ask these questions, and I get to be on the motherwhen I wore my first dressing receiving end, simply because I drew the short straw. We all know that you are simply typing the same mechanical question to us, siomply because it frees your time to walk around and create a giant shadow over other workers, make phone calls to try and recall your first name when making the obligatory introduction, and or you just find the need to look somewhat productive, simply because you honestly believe that you are good at your job and someone slapped a title behind your when I wore my first dressing name because they lost a bet. Who knows.

 

All I know is that when I wrap up this very well thought out letter of suggestion you are going to respond by asking me if there are any current title issues to which now, I feel that it is my duty to tell yo uto go when I wore my first dress yourself, but have a nice day.

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Kid Cid Huddler All-Pro

Kid Cid

Posted
Posted
And should probably spell/grammar check before calling people out for being idiots. :wacko:

 

 

My thought exactly. However, the fact that you have your very own personal DHI (Dick Head Interface) shows how highly you're regarded by this person.

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cre8tiff Huddler

cre8tiff

Posted
Posted (edited)

If her "well documented and explanatory notes" on the account are as drawn out as this beyotchfest, I can understand why folks may call for the Cliff notes version.

 

I have run into many folks in the past who value quantity over quality in their documentation. I would suspect that is the case here.

 

If she were to put a summary of bullet points prior to fricken "War & Peace", she may find she gets less calls.

 

But that is pure speculation on my part. :wacko:

Edited by cre8tiff
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satelliteoflovegm Huddler

satelliteoflovegm

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Posted

I want to punch this thread in its fudging face. I've tried four times, three in good faith, to read that story. My brain can't handle it. It's like math to me. It makes no flippin' sense. Its a joke right?

 

WORST thread of the year!

 

Second one is the Pierre Thomas thread that won't go away. I haven't read any of that one. I hope it tagented off because no hahway can that be all about Thomas.

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