skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 [Theoretical scenario] Say I belong to a BOTH league that has a protected forum. This forum, of course, only allows fellow league members into it.... and thus, is nice and private as protected forums should be. Now.... what is the Huddle opinion on this scenario: I have issues with some here at the Huddle. I use my protected forum to bash those people. I can say anything I want about them... I can attack them... question their parentage.... question their honor... I can say anything I desire.... and the beauty of this.... they don't see it and can't answer. Should my leaguemates consider my character to be in question? Would they wonder about my honor? My integrity? Or is it perfectly acceptable to attack those I have issues with in complete impunity...not having to face them and enjoying the fact that they don't even know that I am doing it? Am I an honorable person? A person with good character? Or am I a dishonorable person with a lack of character? [/Theoretical scenario.] What say you Huddle? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Hmmm...interesting 'theoretical'. I would say if the Huddler being attacked is only being attacked in that private league forum that may be a character issue. If however, the things being said are also being said in public forums where the attackee has the chance to defend himself/herself, it isn't as big a deal. Maybe just some additional venting with leaguemates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 If you are just venting, it is probably a better thing to do in private, as not to upset the balance of the main boards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinatieri Is God Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". I heard that somehwere? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramhock Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Quite a conundrum . . . aged and infantile? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Oh and who the hell's talking about me behind my back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Oh and who the hell's talking about me behind my back http://forums.thehuddle.com/index.php?showuser=10146 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 If you are just venting, it is probably a better thing to do in private, as not to upset the balance of the main boards. Nope...not a venting issue. It is a character issue where the person being attacked/slammed has no opportunity to defend or answer and doesn't even know they are being attacked/slammed. Wouldn't a PM... email... IM conversation between me and the persons of issue be a more honorable way of doing it? Or maybe not saying anything at all instead of using the protected fourm to character assassinate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 Hmmm...interesting 'theoretical'. I would say if the Huddler being attacked is only being attacked in that private league forum that may be a character issue. If however, the things being said are also being said in public forums where the attackee has the chance to defend himself/herself, it isn't as big a deal. Maybe just some additional venting with leaguemates. In this scenario nothing has been said in an unprotected forum or on the main boards. The person being attacked/slammed doesn't even know it is going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 http://forums.thehuddle.com/index.php?showuser=10146 Figures Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 (edited) I would view the protected forum as being no different than a group of friends talking amongst themselves in person. It would be somewhat similar to a situation in which a group of co-workers might get together for a few beers after work sometime. The conversation might turn to be about a coworker who annoys all of them. I would not question the character of these people for venting about their absent coworker. If they were lying about the person or planning unjustified attacks on that person, that would be different, but if they were just sharing common complaints, then I say it is fine to let them vent. I also would not feel comfortable if the meeting was planned solely as a bitch session about the other person (i.e. In our theoretical example, I think it would be wrong to set up a private league forum with the specific intention of bitching about a certain individual). In any case, it might actually help the missing individual as it might even allow some coworkers to defend the other person if they think the animosity towards the other person is not warranted. So all in all, I'm not going to lose any sleep over this. If you guys want to talk about me behind my back, that is fine. I never liked any of you guys anyway. Edited March 31, 2007 by wiegie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 (edited) I can see if they have a problem with someone if they post in a private forum asking for others opinion. But bashing someone behind their back is being two-faced to me. Now if they are up front with their dislike to the person & speak of them the same way in both public & private then that's a different story. It may not be right, but at least they up front about it. Edited March 31, 2007 by rajncajn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I would view the protected forum as being no different than a group of friends talking amongst themselves in person. It would be somewhat similar to a situation in which a group of co-workers might get together for a few beers after work sometime. The conversation might turn to be about a coworker who annoys all of them. I would not question the character of these people for venting about their absent coworker. If they were lying about the person or planning unjustified attacks on that person, that would be different, but if they were just sharing common complaints, then I say it is fine to let them vent. I also would not feel comfortable if the meeting was planned solely as a bitch session about the other person (i.e. In our theoretical example, I think it would be wrong to set up a private league forum with the specific intention of bitching about a certain individual). In any case, it might actually help the missing individual as it might even allow some coworkers to defend the other person if they think the animosity towards the other person is not warranted. So all in all, I'm not going to lose any sleep over this. If you guys want to talk about me behind my back, that is fine. I never liked any of you guys anyway. Agree with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I would view the protected forum as being no different than a group of friends talking amongst themselves in person. It would be somewhat similar to a situation in which a group of co-workers might get together for a few beers after work sometime. The conversation might turn to be about a coworker who annoys all of them. I would not question the character of these people for venting about their absent coworker. If they were lying about the person or planning unjustified attacks on that person, that would be different, but if they were just sharing common complaints, then I say it is fine to let them vent. I also would not feel comfortable if the meeting was planned solely as a bitch session about the other person (i.e. In our theoretical example, I think it would be wrong to set up a private league forum with the specific intention of bitching about a certain individual). In any case, it might actually help the missing individual as it might even allow some coworkers to defend the other person if they think the animosity towards the other person is not warranted. So all in all, I'm not going to lose any sleep over this. If you guys want to talk about me behind my back, that is fine. I never liked any of you guys anyway. Good info here as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Well, this is an interesting "theoretical" scenario. There can be any of a number of reasons to slam someone behind their back. Venting has already been offered and could be a valid reason. For example, there are times when something has happened at work and I come home to vent to my wife. I don't feel that I lack character because I don't consistently confront a person on an issue, but it feels better to vent to someone I know who will keep my confidence. Often times, when you come down to it, it really is no big deal and venting is the best option. For example, my two business partners are very liberal, politically. On some issues, they are sure they are right and there is no room for debate. During the 2000 election, I voted Nader and they voted Gore as the "lesser of two evils." We had many fights as I was not one to back down. It was apparent that I was not being listened to or heard so I went my "moran" mode. Whenever they brought up something political, I'd nod my head and listen. At times, I'd even pretend to agree as disagreement netted nothing. I've kept this up with them since that time because it's simply easier to do so and confronting/debating them is useless. I sometimes come home and vent to my wife. I don't see this as a character issue. The slammer may feel uncomfortable confronting the slammee--some people are not good with confrontation. Also, some people, when confronted, no matter how appropriately, respond inappropriately and thus it becomes useless to to confront that person. However, I guess complaining about this privately would still have to be construed as venting. I guess for it to be a character issue for me, it would depend on the situation and what was being said about the person, how it was being said, and to who. I have trouble seeing most situations as "either/or." I'm not good with black and white thinking. I will say that in general, if a person has a serious problem with another, the best method of handling it is to go to that person and talk to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 I never liked any of you guys anyway. Only because we now know you aren't as tall as we thought you were. :oldrazz: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Nope...not a venting issue. It is a character issue where the person being attacked/slammed has no opportunity to defend or answer and doesn't even know they are being attacked/slammed. Wouldn't a PM... email... IM conversation between me and the persons of issue be a more honorable way of doing it? Or maybe not saying anything at all instead of using the protected fourm to character assassinate? i was going to say if it's a venting issue like, "Man I've tried to tell Irish what an wascaly wabbit he is and the guy is just so thick-headed that it never seems to sink in."---Fine. You're not talking behind this guy's back because he already knows how you feel and you're blowing off steam. However, if the guy has no idea of your b1tching about him regardless of how annoying/wrong he is and can be, you are also wrong for not ever attempting to do as you stated above which is have some type of dialogue with him and air things out first before bashing him privately which seems yellow to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 Well, this is an interesting "theoretical" scenario. There can be any of a number of reasons to slam someone behind their back. Venting has already been offered and could be a valid reason. For example, there are times when something has happened at work and I come home to vent to my wife. I don't feel that I lack character because I don't consistently confront a person on an issue, but it feels better to vent to someone I know who will keep my confidence. Often times, when you come down to it, it really is no big deal and venting is the best option. For example, my two business partners are very liberal, politically. On some issues, they are sure they are right and there is no room for debate. During the 2000 election, I voted Nader and they voted Gore as the "lesser of two evils." We had many fights as I was not one to back down. It was apparent that I was not being listened to or heard so I went my "moran" mode. Whenever they brought up something political, I'd nod my head and listen. At times, I'd even pretend to agree as disagreement netted nothing. I've kept this up with them since that time because it's simply easier to do so and confronting/debating them is useless. I sometimes come home and vent to my wife. I don't see this as a character issue. The slammer may feel uncomfortable confronting the slammee--some people are not good with confrontation. Also, some people, when confronted, no matter how appropriately, respond inappropriately and thus it becomes useless to to confront that person. However, I guess complaining about this privately would still have to be construed as venting. I guess for it to be a character issue for me, it would depend on the situation and what was being said about the person, how it was being said, and to who. I have trouble seeing most situations as "either/or." I'm not good with black and white thinking. I will say that in general, if a person has a serious problem with another, the best method of handling it is to go to that person and talk to them. Going home and venting to the spouse is not really what I am looking for here. Anyone that doesn't do that is looking for an ulcer. What is being presented is the use of a protected Huddle forum where one can attack the character of a Huddler that is not part of that forum and the attacked has no recourse. The issues have not been brought up in 'public'. Whether what is said is true or not it would appear to me that to defame a persons character and honor knowing that person won't see your defamation and cannot respond to that defamation is cowardly and dishonorable. The scenario isn't about the office bully who everyone dislikes. This is about the use of a Huddle protected forum to defame another Huddler knowing you can get away with it. At least I thought I presented it that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaumont Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 AIM is really the superior way to trash people behind their backs ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 [Theoretical scenario] Say I belong to a BOTH league that has a protected forum. This forum, of course, only allows fellow league members into it.... and thus, is nice and private as protected forums should be. Now.... what is the Huddle opinion on this scenario: I have issues with some here at the Huddle. I use my protected forum to bash those people. I can say anything I want about them... I can attack them... question their parentage.... question their honor... I can say anything I desire.... and the beauty of this.... they don't see it and can't answer. Sounds like a good league. Let me know if y'all have any openings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBalla Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 (edited) Honestly, it sounds two-faced and cowardly to me...however...its a friggin message board. The protected forums aren't to conceal your conversations alone. Its also to keep annoying freaks out. I rarely talk about people behind their back here just because I don't give that much of a chit to b!tch about someone. If there is a viable complaint that needs to be made then I'd pm DMD or Big John. I am not sure what yer fishing for here Sky...I just gave a bit of honesty. P.S. Quit talking about Skins behind his back. He can't help being a mongloidal-eunuch. Edited March 31, 2007 by SuperBalla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Going home and venting to the spouse is not really what I am looking for here. Anyone that doesn't do that is looking for an ulcer. What is being presented is the use of a protected Huddle forum where one can attack the character of a Huddler that is not part of that forum and the attacked has no recourse. The issues have not been brought up in 'public'. Whether what is said is true or not it would appear to me that to defame a persons character and honor knowing that person won't see your defamation and cannot respond to that defamation is cowardly and dishonorable. The scenario isn't about the office bully who everyone dislikes. This is about the use of a Huddle protected forum to defame another Huddler knowing you can get away with it. At least I thought I presented it that way. I have several views on this. I would say that if a person automatically believes something negative about another, without checking it out themselves, that could be construed as a character issue. For example, Person A tells Person B that Person C is a moranic momo and you should dislike him as I do. Person B says, yes, I will dislike him as we are friends and I now dislike Person C solely because you do. Well, in that situation, I question Person B's character. Each person is responsible for their own conduct. I don't think that the setting is necessarily that important in the discussion. As Ursa said, a group of friends could be ripping someone apart at a bar, it could be done in a protected forum, it could be done at a party. The point is, a person or a group is "attacking the character" of another and the attacked has no recourse. And again, I think each situation would have to be viewed on a case-by-case basis. I don't believe that this is an "either/or" scenario. If, as rajn pointed out, the attacker is "two-faced", well that is a character issue in my view. However, if it is more like the scenario described by wiegie, I'd be more inclined to view it as venting and not a character issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I think people should mind their own business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I think people should mind their own business. who asked you what you thought? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I think people should mind their own business. If you feel that way M.Y.O.B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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