skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 I have several views on this. I would say that if a person automatically believes something negative about another, without checking it out themselves, that could be construed as a character issue. For example, Person A tells Person B that Person C is a moranic momo and you should dislike him as I do. Person B says, yes, I will dislike him as we are friends and I now dislike Person C solely because you do. Well, in that situation, I question Person B's character. Each person is responsible for their own conduct. I don't think that the setting is necessarily that important in the discussion. As Ursa said, a group of friends could be ripping someone apart at a bar, it could be done in a protected forum, it could be done at a party. The point is, a person or a group is "attacking the character" of another and the attacked has no recourse. And again, I think each situation would have to be viewed on a case-by-case basis. I don't believe that this is an "either/or" scenario. If, as rajn pointed out, the attacker is "two-faced", well that is a character issue in my view. However, if it is more like the scenario described by wiegie, I'd be more inclined to view it as venting and not a character issue. Thank you.... good points. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 I am not sure what yer fishing for here Sky... Not fishing for anything. Just trying to get a read on how Huddler people feel about character assassination when the person being assassinated isn't even aware of what is going on. P.S. Quit talking about Skins behind his back. He can't help being a monogloidal-eunuch. Who? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 who asked you what you thought? Sky? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLAYER Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 If it was a one time thing, I would think no big deal. If it was contiually happenning I would have to question the person's character and of being cowardly also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyBalata Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I, personally, would question the character of some person in that group, or nearby it, who overheard said conversations, immediately ran around telling other people those conversations were going on. What would their purpose in doing that be, other then trying to cause problem between people? Whereas, the supposed people having those conversations in private, were trying to do just that, keep their feelings private and not cause problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I, personally, would question the character of some person in that group, or nearby it, who overheard said conversations, immediately ran around telling other people those conversations were going on. What would their purpose in doing that be, other then trying to cause problem between people? Whereas, the supposed people having those conversations in private, were trying to do just that, keep their feelings private and not cause problems. Agreed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 I, personally, would question the character of some person in that group, or nearby it, who overheard said conversations, immediately ran around telling other people those conversations were going on. What would their purpose in doing that be, other then trying to cause problem between people? Whereas, the supposed people having those conversations in private, were trying to do just that, keep their feelings private and not cause problems. Interesting. So if I was a part of the forum, and I see someone who is being unfairly slammed and I don't say anything about it I am of good character? But if I tell the person that he is being unfairly slammed I am not? I could have no other motivation other than causing problems? I couldn't, maybe, want the person to know that their character has been assassinated and that the reason some are reacting to them differently than before is a result of what was posted in that proctected forum? And that the person making the posts in that protected forum has no other motive than just good ol' boy talk amongst friends? Interesting take. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10g_DBA Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 You're a stand-up guy, Sky. Talking trash behind someone's back when they're not there to tell their side of the story is just chickensh!t gossip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Not much to add, but wiegie, Unta, and Rajn are spot on. It's fairly well known that men can be as catty as women are accused of being, i.e. it's NOT a female only trait! And peer group pressure does NOT end when one hits adulthood. The only other thing I would add......let's say ask.... is it out of the question to inform said bashee what is going on? That is a question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Interesting. So if I was a part of the forum, and I see someone who is being unfairly slammed and I don't say anything about it I am of good character? But if I tell the person that he is being unfairly slammed I am not? I could have no other motivation other than causing problems? I couldn't, maybe, want the person to know that their character has been assassinated and that the reason some are reacting to them differently than before is a result of what was posted in that proctected forum? And that the person making the posts in that protected forum has no other motive than just good ol' boy talk amongst friends? Interesting take. If one sees someone unfairly slammed on a message board, one could go to the "victim" and alert him. One could also confront the "attacker" and tell that person that what he is doing is wrong and let him know that he feels so strongly about this, he is going to go to the "victim" and alert him (that would take a little more character, IMO.) In so doing, the person who has overheard the private conversation is giving the attacker an opportunity, first, to go to the "victim" an discuss the issue. The attacker may also decide, in this instance, that he will simply no longer post about the issue and ask the eavesdropper not to go to the "victim" as he was only venting and will not do so again in such a manner. However, none of these options are available when an eavesdropper goes directly to the victim. I think that if one is privy to a "private" conversation and then discusses the content of said private conversation with another, that could be construed as a character issue (again, depending on the situation). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 [Theoretical scenario] ... [/Theoretical scenario.] What say you Huddle? I see a lot of people do a lot of things that I don't agree with and wouldn't do in my own life. I prefer to mind my own business unless I see something that I truly believe will cause harm to a person, even if that person might deserve a little retribution for whatever. As far as postings on a message board, I generally don't believe that a lot of harm can be done on an anonymous message board, save perhaps a little bruising of someone's feelings. I definitely try not to post anything that I would be afraid of the subject of the post reading. Others might, but that is their business until they get to a point where they are trying to do serious damage to another. What kind of serious damage can be done on a message board? I'll let you know when I see it. Do any of these things make a person honorable or not, or of good or bad character? That's really murky water to swim through. I am not sure what kind of character judgements can be made about someone in this forum, save that people honor their commitments, bets, and don't make efforts to circumvent rules or cheat at the games we play. I suppose a full out assault on someone's character based solely on what is known about that person an a message board is a little over the top, but I am also not sure how damaging I would call that in terms of the person's life. I imagine that I would try to take into account the general conduct of the person doing the assaulting. Are they the type of person that is always tearing people down? Are they doing it to multiple people? In public or just in private? Were they done harm by the person they are writing about? There are lots of things to consider. I have yet to read something along these veins that makes me question a huddler's character as much as some of the FF dealings I have seen would cause me to have character concerns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Sticks and stones. They teach you that early in life for a reason. Except in this example, the words will never reach the proper destination so what's the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyBalata Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 (edited) Interesting. So if I was a part of the forum, and I see someone who is being unfairly slammed and I don't say anything about it I am of good character? But if I tell the person that he is being unfairly slammed I am not? I could have no other motivation other than causing problems? I couldn't, maybe, want the person to know that their character has been assassinated and that the reason some are reacting to them differently than before is a result of what was posted in that proctected forum? And that the person making the posts in that protected forum has no other motive than just good ol' boy talk amongst friends? Interesting take. Again...I can only speak for myself...but I tend to come to my own conclusions on what kind of person other people are and not take whats being said by others for granted. Have seen plenty of occasions in my life where it seems several people or a group of people have a problem with someone, but yet, I have gotten along just fine with them. So I've learned to use my own interactions with said person to judge them, versus what others may have said. Granted, I may be more wary of that person when interacting with him until I have come to my own conclusions...but at the same time, if there is a large enough group slamming a person, I'm not sure that can be considered "unfair", as it seem they may have earned their reputation if that many people have the same opinion of said person. I haven't been around this world as long as you have, to be able to see as much as you have, but what I have seen, no matter where you go, you are bound to find there, a group of people that will end up bonding together and talking about others when they are not around. Hell, they'll talk about each other as soon as one of them leaves the conversation. . I think that's part of human nature, and I don't waste any of my time being concerned about it. One of those you can't worry about what you can't control, sort of things. Edited March 31, 2007 by BillyBalata Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 (edited) Sticks and stones. They teach you that early in life for a reason. Except in this example, the words will never reach the proper destination so what's the point. Which is directly in conflict with "The pen is mightier than the sword!" Edited March 31, 2007 by Caveman_Nick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grits and Shins Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I tend to keep my own personal behavior consistent regardless of whether or not I am in the presence of the person that is the topic of conversation or not. Translation: I have no problem talking behind your back and I have no problem talking to your face. I think there may be a character issue if a person consistently presents one face to a person and then consistently turns around and "slams" that person in a private forum (presents another face). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I would view the protected forum as being no different than a group of friends talking amongst themselves in person. It would be somewhat similar to a situation in which a group of co-workers might get together for a few beers after work sometime. The conversation might turn to be about a coworker who annoys all of them. I would not question the character of these people for venting about their absent coworker. If they were lying about the person or planning unjustified attacks on that person, that would be different, but if they were just sharing common complaints, then I say it is fine to let them vent. I also would not feel comfortable if the meeting was planned solely as a bitch session about the other person (i.e. In our theoretical example, I think it would be wrong to set up a private league forum with the specific intention of bitching about a certain individual). In any case, it might actually help the missing individual as it might even allow some coworkers to defend the other person if they think the animosity towards the other person is not warranted. So all in all, I'm not going to lose any sleep over this. If you guys want to talk about me behind my back, that is fine. I never liked any of you guys anyway. Well said and I agree 100% with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I, personally, would question the character of some person in that group, or nearby it, who overheard said conversations, immediately ran around telling other people those conversations were going on. What would their purpose in doing that be, other then trying to cause problem between people? Whereas, the supposed people having those conversations in private, were trying to do just that, keep their feelings private and not cause problems. I also agree with this as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Hey Sky...I was just joking around popping into Fusion and waving. A little Friday humor release. Please don't hate me. Please. Does Sky hate me? ___Yes ___No ___Puddy :heart: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Hey Sky...I was just joking around popping into Fusion and waving. A little Friday humor release. Please don't hate me. Please. Does Sky hate me? ___Yes ___No ___Puddy :heart: We all hate you TimC. Shoo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 Again...I can only speak for myself...but I tend to come to my own conclusions on what kind of person other people are and not take whats being said by others for granted. Have seen plenty of occasions in my life where it seems several people or a group of people have a problem with someone, but yet, I have gotten along just fine with them. So I've learned to use my own interactions with said person to judge them, versus what others may have said. Ain't that the truth. LOL Granted, I may be more wary of that person when interacting with him until I have come to my own conclusions...but at the same time, if there is a large enough group slamming a person, I'm not sure that can be considered "unfair", as it seem they may have earned their reputation if that many people have the same opinion of said person. I haven't been around this world as long as you have, to be able to see as much as you have, but what I have seen, no matter where you go, you are bound to find there, a group of people that will end up bonding together and talking about others when they are not around. Hell, they'll talk about each other as soon as one of them leaves the conversation. . I think that's part of human nature, and I don't waste any of my time being concerned about it. One of those you can't worry about what you can't control, sort of things. We are talking a scenario at the Huddle and not real life. Everyone here has some sort of reputation and persona. It can be good or it can be bad. One can be argumentative and one can not. One can be viewed as an honest and fair person and one can be viewed as a downright cur. Be whatever one is one does eventually care about how they are viewed here. It's just natural for that to happen. So when there is an attack on ones Huddle reputation there are ramifications. Not everyone is their own person.... there are a lot of followers here that take what is said as direction in how they deal with others. Not everyone is as democratic as you or I in our perceptions of others. The bottom line, I guess, in this scenario is that to attack a person behind their back, with no face-to-face in the equation, is deemed dishonorable or not by Huddlers. And so far it is 50/50. I guess maybe I didn't present my scenario as well as I wanted. Which, with me, is par for the course. *sigh* Oh... and for those that think otherwise.... this isn't about me. Not everything is about me when I ask something ya know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REZ Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 (edited) Hey Sky...I was just joking around popping into Fusion and waving. A little Friday humor release. Please don't hate me. Please. Does everybody hate me? ___Yes ___Yes ___Yes :heart: Fixed it for you Edited March 31, 2007 by REZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 Hey Sky...I was just joking around popping into Fusion and waving. A little Friday humor release. Please don't hate me. Please. Does Sky hate me? ___Yes ___No ___Puddy :heart: Did I not wave back? Pretty sure I did.... guess you didn't see me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 I think there may be a character issue if a person consistently presents one face to a person and then consistently turns around and "slams" that person in a private forum (presents another face). That probably sums it up best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REZ Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 If the person is bashing them in the private forum and not in the public forum and maybe even acting buddy-buddy with them in the public forum, yeah there is probably a character issue. I don't know if it's your place to say anything though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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