Should there be a rule against this?

[Skilly]

Apparently, I'm in the minority, but I wouldn't say anything to the coach and I wouldn't allow my players to yell anything out. I would also instruct the parents on my team that they are not to yell anything.

 

I've been coaching soccer, boys and girls, at all levels, since the late 1980's. You are going to run into all kinds of ass holes the longer you coach. For me, coaching kids is more than teaching the game, strategy, skills, tactics, etc. A youth coach teaches the kids how to win and how to accept losing. A youth coach teaches the kids about sportsmanship, playing to their best, and thinking on their own.

 

The players on your team look to you to figure out how to conduct themselves. Some of these kids may grow up and become coaches themselves.

 

Here is how I would handle it: I'd tell my team that I don't agree with the ass hole's method of coaching and that I would never use that method because I trust them. We work hard in practice and because of that, they are ready at game time. Some of the girls might say that what the other coach is doing is not fair and I would agree with them. Specifically, I would say, "You're right--What he's doing is not fair. So you know what you have to do? Try harder!" [if none of my players said that the other coach's technique was unfair, I would volunteer that I thought it was unfair. Then I'd the same question and provide the same answer.

 

I purposely set up situations in practice from time to time that are unfair. By the end of the season, my players are telling each other that when the game/situation/teams are unfair in practice to try harder. When we run into problems during a game--whether it's a loud mouth coach, a poor referee, a player who talks trash, etc--the kids know that there is one solution--Try Harder. I'd rather my players learn that lesson from me than any indication that it's acceptable to equate themselves with an ass hole.

 

+1.

This is really the best response. Look at it in the positive light: because this other coach is choosing to act this way, even if it's not "technically" against the rules, it gives you the opportunity to teach these girls an important lesson. Win and lose with grace and dignity.

[NAUgrad]

Apparently, I'm in the minority, but I wouldn't say anything to the coach and I wouldn't allow my players to yell anything out. I would also instruct the parents on my team that they are not to yell anything.

 

I've been coaching soccer, boys and girls, at all levels, since the late 1980's. You are going to run into all kinds of ass holes the longer you coach. For me, coaching kids is more than teaching the game, strategy, skills, tactics, etc. A youth coach teaches the kids how to win and how to accept losing. A youth coach teaches the kids about sportsmanship, playing to their best, and thinking on their own.

 

The players on your team look to you to figure out how to conduct themselves. Some of these kids may grow up and become coaches themselves.

 

Here is how I would handle it: I'd tell my team that I don't agree with the ass hole's method of coaching and that I would never use that method because I trust them. We work hard in practice and because of that, they are ready at game time. Some of the girls might say that what the other coach is doing is not fair and I would agree with them. Specifically, I would say, "You're right--What he's doing is not fair. So you know what you have to do? Try harder!" [if none of my players said that the other coach's technique was unfair, I would volunteer that I thought it was unfair. Then I'd the same question and provide the same answer.

 

I purposely set up situations in practice from time to time that are unfair. By the end of the season, my players are telling each other that when the game/situation/teams are unfair in practice to try harder. When we run into problems during a game--whether it's a loud mouth coach, a poor referee, a player who talks trash, etc--the kids know that there is one solution--Try Harder. I'd rather my players learn that lesson from me than any indication that it's acceptable to equate themselves with an ass hole.

Completely agree.

 

You can only only control your players and your own response. That's it. Sportsmanship is huge in my opinion. Just coach like you know how and let your players play like you've taught them. If parents complain to you, tell them that you are the coach of your team, not the other team. What he does ethical or not is his problem and won't change the way you coach or manage a game. The end. If they have a problem with that then too bad. I laid this down when I coached my 9 year old basketball team and never complained about a call from the refs right or not. I also never had a problem with any of my parents.

 

Sounds like your a great coach that's just getting a little too wrapped up in wins and losses. Nothing wrong with being competitive, but don't lose what's really important. Play your game.

Edited June 29, 2009 by NAUgrad

[muck]

Can you get your girls to chant something along the lines of:

 

"Our coach lets us think for ourselves. Your coach does not have confidence in you."

 

"We are having fun, are you?"

 

...etc...

[whomper]

I would have a group of my friends in the stands and every time he said "No" Id have my friends immediately say "Sleep till brooklyn"

 

 

Seriously. He is doing his girls a disservice . See if you can get your girls to ignore it. If it isnt against the rules he wont stop so your best option is to try and let it not get to your girls

[chiefjay]

Love these topics. All good suggestions in my opinion, sometimes I like to dirty it up if the other coach is doing stupid stuff like that, sometimes I play the win / lose with grace card, depends on my mood.

 

This guy sounds like a big time tool.

 

In Mens softball we can tell if a ball is flat, too high, etc... but we arent' going to say anything because as a batter I wouldn't want to hear that all the time. Their batters have to be a bit gun shy at times waiting for the No to come flying out.

 

We just go done with baseball. Coaches, parents, some kdis, etc... all amazing at times. The stuff you'll see at youth sporting games.

 

Last week was an illegal bat amoung other things.

Edited June 30, 2009 by chiefjay

[Skippy]

He is a tool for sure but the tactic does seem to work. They are the second highest scoring team in the league averaging almost 3 runs per game more than us who are the third highest. There is a pretty significant separation between the top three and the rest of the league.

 

What I am sort of surprised to see is that the standings from top to bottom are in perfect order of runs against with the exception of their team which is oddly the second to worst in runs scored against.

[untateve]

He is a tool for sure but the tactic does seem to work. They are the second highest scoring team in the league averaging almost 3 runs per game more than us who are the third highest. There is a pretty significant separation between the top three and the rest of the league.

 

What I am sort of surprised to see is that the standings from top to bottom are in perfect order of runs against with the exception of their team which is oddly the second to worst in runs scored against.

 

But his girls aren't learning to think for themselves. If I was a parent, I'd pull my daughter off of his team.

[MikesVikes]

I would think that having a coach yelling "no" at pitches would be somewhat counterproductive. Wouldn't the girls start to get a little gun shy about swinging at the wrong pitches after awhile? Or wouldn't they get to a point where confusion begins to set in when they're batting?

[Chief Dick]

I would have a group of my friends in the stands and every time he said "No" Id have my friends immediately say "Sleep till brooklyn"

This deserves a

[Skippy]

This deserves a

That slipped past me at first as I just didn't get it. Now that you gave it a , I went back and put it all togehter. No sleep till Broklyn.

[Seahawks21]

Under no circumstances are you to allow your players to mimmick these actions. That teaches them poor sportsmanship. You are then going down to his level, and even worse, you are taking your kids with you. You are essentially telling them that this kind of thing is okay. A few of them will go on and try to do this kind of thing in the future.

 

You are the coach. You need to get your kids past this. You need to be the one to say something, not the kids. Try to explain to the coach before the game that the kids aren't learning anything for themselves. Ask him how he would have felt as a kid if some grown up tried to do all their thinking for them. Ask him if he thinks 10 year old kids should be more concerned with winning than learning how to hit properly and practice good sportsmanship and learn to play the game the right way. He will respond by saying something about how winning is important, so tell him how sad that is. Explain how he is doing a disservice to his girls. It won't change anything right away, but it ought to make him think going forward.

 

Use it to give your kids a mental advantage. Explain to them that he is only saying that because they wouldn't be able to win otherwise. Have a conference with the umpire before the game, explain what is happening, and maybe the umpire will try to make it stop. Tell your kids that they need to focus on trying to win playing their game, and they need to let you be the one that worries about this kind of thing. It is up to you to figure out how to get your team to overcome this. Again though, I will warn you that if you stoop to his level, the kids will pick that up and will ultimately lose some respect for you and themselves. If my coach made me do that kind of thing when I was 10 I would have walked off the field. In fact, I have. Whatever you do, stay classy. Your kids will appreciate it.

Edited June 30, 2009 by Seahawks21