rajncajn Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I think everyone is being too hard on CR. There's something called confidence that can make all the difference in the world to a child who doesn't know any better. I'm not saying I completely agree with his plan but I also don't think it's nearly as insane as some of you judgemental pricks are implying. CR is right in that small schools offer more opportunity in many cases. Sitting on the bench can discourage a kid and hinder his confidence. Of course every individual is different and maybe in the face of adversity your kids will try harder and thrive - maybe not. There is not an absolute answer here as to what direction is right. As far as the argument that CR is sending the wrong message - BAH. Whatever. First of all, they don't have to know all the reasons for the switch. But even if they do understand why, they may appreciate the fact that dad went out of his way to make their lives better and give them more opportunity to shine. Bottom line: I'm not saying what I would do in that situation because it's a tough call but to act as if CR is way out of line is just wrong. So many on here are so judgemental, it's just ridiculous. The man asks for some input and gets flamed. At the end of the day, CR can only do what he thinks is best for his children and I'm guessing he understands his children more than any of you bastages. Leave the guy alone and if you don't agree with his position, use some tact for god's sake! I think the only one being judgmental here is you. Nothing I said was judgmental or disrespectful to CR or his family, he asked for our opinion & we're telling him what we think. That doesn't necessarily mean it's the right decision, but we're all giving our input. Judging by this thread alone I think CR is doing a great job of parenting. He's truly concerned about his kids, how they will deal with HS & is struggling with this decision so he's asking other like-minded parents who he's comfortable with. All I said was I thought it would send the message that he didn't think they were good enough to compete against those other kids & agreed with BC's view of it. Whether CR agrees with us or not is totally up to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I'm all for smaller schools. But if your sole motivation is the chance that your kids will have a better chance to demonstrate their athletic prowess I think you'll be disappointed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 (edited) I think everyone is being too hard on CR. There's something called confidence that can make all the difference in the world to a child who doesn't know any better. I'm not saying I completely agree with his plan but I also don't think it's nearly as insane as some of you judgemental pricks are implying. CR is right in that small schools offer more opportunity in many cases. Sitting on the bench can discourage a kid and hinder his confidence. Of course every individual is different and maybe in the face of adversity your kids will try harder and thrive - maybe not. There is not an absolute answer here as to what direction is right. As far as the argument that CR is sending the wrong message - BAH. Whatever. First of all, they don't have to know all the reasons for the switch. But even if they do understand why, they may appreciate the fact that dad went out of his way to make their lives better and give them more opportunity to shine. Bottom line: I'm not saying what I would do in that situation because it's a tough call but to act as if CR is way out of line is just wrong. So many on here are so judgemental, it's just ridiculous. The man asks for some input and gets flamed. At the end of the day, CR can only do what he thinks is best for his children and I'm guessing he understands his children more than any of you bastages. Leave the guy alone and if you don't agree with his position, use some tact for god's sake! No one ripped him, despite people disagreeing it was very civil until you felt the need to come here and start calling people names. Stay classy. Edited August 16, 2011 by Hugh 0ne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Wait a minute. He's the one who came here asking us for our opinions. He just doesn't like that the majority of us don't agree with his line of reasoning. Nobody is questioning that he wants what is best for his kids. But if you ask for feedback, you have to be willing to accept that it might not all be positive. Ummm... I'm pretty sure I've been willing to accept what others have said. I'm honestly surprised at the responses. But that's cool. It's given me some things to think about. I've always thought a smaller school was the way to go and yes, part of that is due to sports. But in general, I think there's a greater sense of community in a smaller town/school. I guess maybe I thought that everyone felt the same way I do and was looking for affirmation. That's not the case and that's ok. It doesn't change my take, but like I said, has given me something to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 This is the important question. It is an important question but as a parent you have to weigh out, not only what they want, but also what you as their parent/s and more knowledgeable/insightful people can offer them in their journey without being too overprotective (tough chore to say the least). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpwallace49 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 CR. Two questions. What sports do they play? How do the two schools match up academically? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Ummm... I'm pretty sure I've been willing to accept what others have said. I'm honestly surprised at the responses. But that's cool. It's given me some things to think about. I've always thought a smaller school was the way to go and yes, part of that is due to sports. But in general, I think there's a greater sense of community in a smaller town/school. I guess maybe I thought that everyone felt the same way I do and was looking for affirmation. That's not the case and that's ok. It doesn't change my take, but like I said, has given me something to think about. I think you're right in a sense. A smaller community is a bit more tight-knit. But I'm betting that sports will likely be no less competitive. In smaller communities grade school sports are usually a much bigger deal and families are generally more involved with their kids in that aspect. And going to a new school without their friends to help support them could have the opposite affect you're looking for. I think BC is right that what your kids want is probably going to be the best answer. Then do your best to prepare them for what lies ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetsfan Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I grew up in a small town and went to a small school. I played sports as well. I now live in a large city and my kids are going to a big school. They play sports. They also get art and music programs, language classes and several other opportunities that I never got because of the school size. IMO, you need to take into account ALL of the opportunities that each school offers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I grew up in a small town and went to a small school. I played sports as well.I now live in a large city and my kids are going to a big school. They play sports. They also get art and music programs, language classes and several other opportunities that I never got because of the school size. IMO, you need to take into account ALL of the opportunities that each school offers. yeah, and there's usually enough sports teams (JV and whatnot) that they can do that too, and possibly get a higher caliber of coaching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Ummm... I'm pretty sure I've been willing to accept what others have said. I'm honestly surprised at the responses. But that's cool. It's given me some things to think about. I've always thought a smaller school was the way to go and yes, part of that is due to sports. But in general, I think there's a greater sense of community in a smaller town/school. I guess maybe I thought that everyone felt the same way I do and was looking for affirmation. That's not the case and that's ok. It doesn't change my take, but like I said, has given me something to think about. Your first post really only talked about how you want your kids to do in sports. If that's the argument you have presented to your wife, then its easy to see why she isn't on board. If you really like what a smaller school has to offer for other reasons, then you need to present THAT argument to your wife and drop the sports line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 CR. Two questions. What sports do they play? How do the two schools match up academically? They play all sports currently. Whatever happens to be in season (soccer, football, basketball, baseball, even some golf). As far as a comparison of schools, that would certainly be factor, but the "small school" is only a concept at this point - not an actual school. There are plenty of nearby communities we could consider, but nothing specific to compare the big school to. For the sake of my initial question, I was considering academics to be equal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Ummm... I'm pretty sure I've been willing to accept what others have said. I'm honestly surprised at the responses. But that's cool. It's given me some things to think about. I've always thought a smaller school was the way to go and yes, part of that is due to sports. But in general, I think there's a greater sense of community in a smaller town/school. I guess maybe I thought that everyone felt the same way I do and was looking for affirmation. That's not the case and that's ok. It doesn't change my take, but like I said, has given me something to think about. Just so you know where I am coming from with my viewpoints - I went to a small private Catholic school from kindergarten through 6th grade. The entire school (not including the high school, just K-8) was maybe 300 kids, let's call it roughly 40 kids per grade level tops. Each year you had the same kids in each grade, save maybe 1-2 transfers a year. Was it close knit - sure. Although, with such a small group, very little diversity, etc. and everyone had pretty much the same background (except for us, as the only reason we could afford to go there was because my mom, grandmother and aunt all worked for the school) After 6th grade, we moved because my dad changed jobs. Ended up going to public school. Quite a switch from having 300ish kids in an entire school to having 300 kids in a grade level. Now, I am very shy by nature, much more so back then, but I ended up making lots of good friends. A much wider diversity of people from a much wider set of socio-economic backgrounds. Also a lot more opportunities to experience different things that a larger school has to offer, such as a wider variety of clubs/programs and athletic programs. The smaller school didn't have the funding or the population to draw from to offer as many sports (and this is including the high school level, which probably had closer to 60-70 kids per grade level), to offer the diversity of clubs and organizations to belong to, etc. Now, I'm not saying that it true for all schools, it's just been my experience having been in both situations. As I said in my earlier response, what do your kids want? how close are they to high school age? What are THEIR interests? how far would you be moving, ie would they essentially lose contact with their friends and be starting completely over socially? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopher Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I agree (for the most part) with everything that's been said, but I'll add this... If it's simply a question of which school system you wanted to move to, I might agree with your notion to lean towards the smaller school. In other words, if you're moving anyway, and are just trying to pick one or the other, I think you have a fair point. Being able to play in sports (or more sports) is a potential benefit of going to a smaller school. There are many advantages, as well as disadvantages, in my opinion (I've done both). But, picking up and moving, just for the sole purpose of going to a smaller school for sports, seems to be not only extreme, but potentially misguided. What do your kids want to do? What sports are they interested in? Who are their friends, and will they potentially lose them by switching schools? How are the academics at both schools? As much as I love sports (my wife thinks I'm obsessed), I think there are certainly a lot more important things in life. Again, I think sports could be a benefit of a small school, but should never be the sole reason for moving to one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Your first post really only talked about how you want your kids to do in sports. If that's the argument you have presented to your wife, then its easy to see why she isn't on board. If you really like what a smaller school has to offer for other reasons, then you need to present THAT argument to your wife and drop the sports line. that's fair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 I say screw the opinions of your wife and kids and go get that house on the lake! Finally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_am_the_swammi Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Three words: "Ruuuudy....Ruuudy....Ruuudy" I think there is a much better story to be told about a small kid that reaches his goals against tough competition than a small kid who goes to a small school so he can be the BMOC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Meh, I don't think it's that bad of an idea. I purposely went to a more "medium" sized college so it wouldn't be so easy to get lost in the shuffle. It was a concern at the time but looking back I'm sure I'd have been fine at a larger school as well. I guess some of it depends on what size school shift we are talking about. Sometimes I wish I went back and played HS sports at a Class B school instead of the Class A school I attended (probably 1700 people or so). I really only played football in HS and I'm sure I could have made it onto a couple different sports if I went the Class B route. That being said, I personally think some of the best stuff you learn in those years is on the practice field. There is only so much classwork really sticks with a kid and at some point it feels like they teach kids to regurgitate their curriculum. It is possible that there are more life lessons to be had in competition. That all being said, I don' t know if I'd move just to do it. Maybe to a different neighborhood so they could compete in the second largest class of HS but I never really liked the small town stuff and found that suffocating. So I'd consider it reasonable to drop a slight class in HS size, but it might be more culture shock than it's worth if they end up at po dunk high school even if they really are the chit at sports. I'm more sleep deprived than normal so hopefully that makes sense (and not too many judgmental pricks judge me ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 There's something called confidence that can make all the difference in the world to a child who doesn't know any better. Some of my worst students have all the confidence in the world. (I actually have found that a little bit of insecurity actually makes students better because it makes them work harder.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 (edited) I'll add this: all parents want to think their kids are special; however, the vast majority of kids are pretty mediocre. Edited to better reflect what I meant to say. Edited August 16, 2011 by wiegie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I'll add this: all parents want their kids to be special; however, the vast majority of kids are pretty mediocre. Thanks Professor McDoooshbag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 As much as I love sports (my wife thinks I'm obsessed), And you are. Three words: "Ruuuudy....Ruuudy....Ruuudy" I think there is a much better story to be told about a small kid that reaches his goals against tough competition than a small kid who goes to a small school so he can be the BMOC. Never stop dreamin'!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furd Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Unless my kids are excellent athletes who have the chance to comepete at the college level, maybe for a scholarship, I'm not giving a rip about the school's sports teams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I'll add this: all parents want their kids to be special; however, the vast majority of kids are pretty mediocre. not me, I want my kids to be mediocre and I plan on raising them with that goal in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furd Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 As far as the fish/pond thing goes, I'm all about the big pond. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 not me, I want my kids to be mediocre and I plan on raising them with that goal in mind. actually, I meant to type "want to think their kids are special" my bad--I is not special Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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