Fighting with the Spouse / Significant other

[whomper]

I am in a whopper right now with the Mrs. Ive been in the doghouse for about 3 days . We dont fight a great deal but when we do they get pretty heated. I have come to the realization that we are not good productive fighters. Arguments are inevitable in a relationship . When we do fight it becomes very immature and counter productive . I am no angel but I have to say that I usually keep the cool head in the beginning and try and get things solved or discussed. She will act childish and cut off all rational discussion. I will try a few more times. She wont open the door and discuss the actual issue . This makes me and I start and then we dont talk for 3 days.

 

What says the huddle ? Are you guys good at fighting or do you suck like us ?

[nuke'em ttg]

 

a happy wife is a happy life, i just think of my mistress with the rubber head and kind chin.

[matt770]

I am in a whopper right now with the Mrs. Ive been in the doghouse for about 3 days . We dont fight a great deal but when we do they get pretty heated. I have come to the realization that we are not good productive fighters. Arguments are inevitable in a relationship . When we do fight it becomes very immature and counter productive . I am no angel but I have to say that I usually keep the cool head in the beginning and try and get things solved or discussed. She will act childish and cut off all rational discussion. I will try a few more times. She wont open the door and discuss the actual issue . This makes me and I start and then we dont talk for 3 days.

 

What says the huddle ? Are you guys good at fighting or do you suck like us ?

In the past we have had similar issues and I always suggested we take time to cool off and talk about it the next day. She'd always just get more pissed off by that, thinking I'm trying to dodge the issue. But later she would acknowledge I was right, once we got to the heart of the issue and she realized her intense rage was preventing her from seeing things clearly. Knock on wood, it's been a long time since we've had any kind of serious disagreement at all. Both of our stress levels are a fraction of what they were before we moved back to GA. These days it's kind of a nauseating love-fest with lots of pet names and romantic dinners, and rhythmic slapping sounds.

[Ursa Majoris]

Almost never have arguments. On the extremely rare occasions that we do, I let her win because in the long run it usually doesn't matter two hoots anyway.

[Savage Beatings]

If I realize that I was honestly wrong I am pretty quick to apologize. The wife will NEVER apologize (even though I'm assuming there must be moments when she realizes she has been wrong).

 

I don't think you are alone on this one. Many of our arguments have me giving logical reasons for my position, and the wife just being emotional and mad and unable to articulate why she believes she is right. At those times, it basically never gets resolved. We just eventually start talking to each other about stupid meaningless thigns around the house, and then we move on having ignored the argument completely. But that only works if it's a situation that doesn't demand an immediate resolution. Good luck brother!

[SayItAintSoJoe]

I hate arguing and confrontation so I give in a lot.

 

This is good for keeping the peace for the moment but may be bad for the long run because when we do have an argument where I don't give in I friggen go off.

 

I must say when this does happen it usually ends in her apologizing to me the next day. It's almost like she feels bad for taking me to the point of going off because she knows that it takes a lot to get me there.

Edited November 14, 2011 by SayItAintSoJoe

[bpwallace49]

If I realize that I was honestly wrong I am pretty quick to apologize. The wife will NEVER apologize (even though I'm assuming there must be moments when she realizes she has been wrong).

 

I don't think you are alone on this one. Many of our arguments have me giving logical reasons for my position, and the wife just being emotional and mad and unable to articulate why she believes she is right. At those times, it basically never gets resolved. We just eventually start talking to each other about stupid meaningless thigns around the house, and then we move on having ignored the argument completely. But that only works if it's a situation that doesn't demand an immediate resolution. Good luck brother!

 

+1 on all counts.

 

And Whomp, your wife is sweet and adorable. I think you are just trying to make her mad. Shame on you.

[Perchoutofwater]

I hate arguing and confrontation so I give in a lot.

 

This is good for keeping the peace for the moment but may be bad for the long run because when we do have an argument where I don't give in I friggen go off.

 

I must say when this does happen it usually ends in her apologizing to me the next day. It's almost like she feels bad for taking me to the point of going off because she knows that it takes a lot to get me there.

 

+1

 

I'll add that 95% of the time we settle it like adults the same day. The 5% of time we don't, it is typically when I take a stand, and that usually goes down like the above.

[Scooby's Hubby]

Almost never have arguments. On the extremely rare occasions that we do, I let her win because in the long run it usually doesn't matter two hoots anyway.

This is the only way ... it has taken me ten years of marriage just to figure this out. And when she is mad, it is 99% because of something I did anyway. Now I am in prevention mode, all of this takes practice. You know, the husband is not supposed to be the cause of the drama nor it's perpetuator. We are supposed to be the listeners and quiet decision makers and the solution to the problem. Peace and love, peace and love.

 

Like I say, it has taken me 10 years to figure this out, and now that I know it takes alot of practice.

[theprofessor]

I hate arguing and confrontation so I give in a lot.

Say it Aint So!

[SayItAintSoJoe]

Say it Aint So!

 

 

Sad...but true...

 

[cliaz]

I am just happy that another human being has chosen to spend the rest of their lives with me. Our love runs so deep that arguments never happen. In those rare situations where we do have a disagreement I realize immediately that I am a man and therefore wrong so I apologize, give her $1000 to go shopping and stay at home and watch the kids, clean the house and get dinner ready. I am a 99%.

[SEC=UGA]

I blow up, let my anger be known and then usually go and get drunk (this has happened twice in 5 years.) Most of the time I let things build for a while and that's when I blow up.

 

Most arguments are very minor as I'll make a comment a few times, something like, "It looks like white trash lives in this house..." or "I don't know how the hell I can cook in that kitchen..." Sometimes she gets the point, other times she ignores me and that's when the anger starts to build.

[wiegie]

Almost never have arguments. On the extremely rare occasions that we do, I let her win because in the long run it usually doesn't matter two hoots anyway.

pretty much the same here--we are generally on the same page with major issues, so that helps.

 

I'm not sure how we would resolve a situation in which we disagreed on an important issue--but I'd expect that we would try to talk it out reasonably.

[tonorator]

I am no angel but I have to say that I usually keep the cool head in the beginning and try and get things solved or discussed. She will act childish and cut off all rational discussion.

 

dude, your problem probably lies within this statement. would she agree with this? i'd be shocked ...

 

oh, and in my case, we fight like children and there is usually a silent treatment period of about a day before i admit that i was wrong.

[SEC=UGA]

pretty much the same here--we are generally on the same page with major issues, so that helps.

 

I'm not sure how we would resolve a situation in which we disagreed on an important issue--but I'd expect that we would try to talk it out reasonably.

 

Sounds awfully French to me... When she does get aggressive do you just roll over and make crepes for her?

[Yukon Cornelius]

I am always wrong so we don't fight much.

[whomper]

dude, your problem probably lies within this statement. would she agree with this? i'd be shocked ...

 

 

No. Thats why I am saying it behind her back

 

Oh and Happy Birthday

[whomper]

The general consensus here is to roll over and play dead. Believe me, I am aware of this and will back off more than she will to keep peace. The problem is she hits a turn off point very early on in an argument where even if I laid down my sword it is too late. Does that mean , in the case where we have a potential argument topic I need to walk on eggshells ? For the record, we dont fight that often but I just notice that when we do the way we both handle it isnt very productive

[Big John]

No. Thats why I am saying it behind her back

 

Oh and Happy Birthday

Happy 44th

[bpwallace49]

The general consensus here is to roll over and play dead. Believe me, I am aware of this and will back off more than she will to keep peace. The problem is she hits a turn off point very early on in an argument where even if I laid down my sword it is too late. Does that mean , in the case where we have a potential argument topic I need to walk on eggshells ? For the record, we dont fight that often but I just notice that when we do the way we both handle it isnt very productive

 

I am guessing the fights are a mixture of Jersey Shore and Housewives of New Jersey?

 

If so, pocs or video please?

[whomper]

Things are cooling off this morning. She thanked me for giving her space . I seem to be out of the doghouse. I got my message across but admitted I certainly aint perfect. Make up sex after Monday night football or maybe during the 2 minute warning, will ensue

[Chief Dick]

Things are cooling off this morning. She thanked me for giving her space . I seem to be out of the doghouse. I got my message across but admitted I certainly aint perfect. Make up sex after Monday night football or maybe during the 2 minute warning, will ensue

 

Or probably during a 30 second time-out.

[matt770]

dude, your problem probably lies within this statement. would she agree with this? i'd be shocked ...

 

oh, and in my case, we fight like children and there is usually a silent treatment period of about a day before i admit that i was wrong.

Most women I've known act childish and irrational in a heated argument.

 

Men tend to be more rational and women more emotional. Maybe that's not PC but it's fact. Sure, there are exceptions but as a general rule it's true. In the heat of anger, both can be an emotional mess and thus nothing constructive is likely to take place.

[whomper]

Or probably during a 30 second time-out.

 

 

Or the coin toss