Caveman_Nick Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 So says single-boy. Come talk to me about that whole "complete honesty and communication" thing after 10 years of marriage. 1309894[/snapback] Ten? Try 2... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Just to stop the speculation, basically I went behind her back and changed my withholdings on my paycheck so that we would come closer to even on our tax returns. She was expecting, and planning for a big return. I knew that there wouldn't be one, but wasn't honest with her about it. So, it's not as if we are out any money... we've had it all along instead of giving it to the government as a type of savings account... but it's the part where I didn't tell her about it that has her very very upset with me. I wasn't even really intentionally trying to keep it from her. I didn't know that she had plans to spend our return. I was just going to surprise her by showing how efficient we could be by not withholding so much. Yep... not a good surprise as it turns out. I feel horrible about it. And yes, I've told her as much. 1309842[/snapback] Okay. missed this post in my previous response. This should not be a huge marriage deal breaker IMHO. Yes, you did make a mistake, but if she loves you this is something she needs to get over perhaps after some long, deep talks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetlips Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Whewwwwww I thought you cut your hair or something. Seriously, Change your deduction today and show her, next year the 'big' plan goes into effect. And this year, do your best to save a little extra to make up for 2005. Andddddd give her really great make up sex tonight! :patting you on the head: You'll be just fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Whewwwwww I thought you cut your hair or something. 1309908[/snapback] nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Whewwwwww I thought you cut your hair or something. Seriously, Change your deduction today and show her, next year the 'big' plan goes into effect. And this year, do your best to save a little extra to make up for 2005. Andddddd give her really great make up sex tonight! :patting you on the head: You'll be just fine. 1309908[/snapback] This part of your post screams "I'm a woman." Seriously, Change your deduction today and show her, next year the 'big' plan goes into effect. This part makes me question it. Andddddd give her really great make up sex tonight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 She's probably having her period. Wait a few days and it'll be ok. (sorry... worst advice ever) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Especially considering that SB's wife didn't talk to him about whatever thing she wanted this money for (If its for some vacation or something like that, take this as double), I must be really naive. This seems to me to be worse than not lifting the lid, forgetting to put it back down, and not replacing the roll. It's an accounting issue for pete's sake. But "marriage counselling", "long, deep talks", and "major apologies"? This should not be a big issue, and if it is in any marriage then there are other issues. This is only a catalyst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 This part makes me question it. Andddddd give her really great make up sex tonight! 1309916[/snapback] Why? Sweetlips knows. SB has to make sure his wife knows he's a man. I suggest rope. and perhaps a paddle. Make sure she knows that she is bad for making you so upset Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sores Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Playing the Devil's advocate... Have you done "other stuff" behind her back or failed to tell her about it when you did it? I can't imagine that this one incident would be a "deal breaker". Is this a case of fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Why? Sweetlips knows. SB has to make sure his wife knows he's a man. I suggest rope. and perhaps a paddle. Make sure she knows that she is bad for making you so upset 1309925[/snapback] Oh, that kind of makeup sex? The kind that can sometimes end with a call to the police and six weeks in sensitivity training. Got ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Playing the Devil's advocate... Have you done "other stuff" behind her back or failed to tell her about it when you did it? I can't imagine that this one incident would be a "deal breaker". Is this a case of fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? 1309934[/snapback] Good info here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Oh, that kind of makeup sex? The kind that can sometimes end with a call to the police and six weeks in sensitivity training. Got ya. 1309938[/snapback] I handle all of the sensitivity training in my house..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 um, this should not jeopardize a relationship. actually what you did was smart. instead of having the gov hold your money, you get it sooner. be sure to remind her that you were acting in a way to improve your financial situation. (i thought you blew the family fortune on the ponies ...) since you didn't know she had plans for the return, you had no way of knowing she would react this way. was she talking about this prior to now? do you always make financial decisions jointly? there could be an issue of her thinking that you duped her or avoided telling her about the change, but since it is the right thing to do and you didn't know she had plans for the money, i don't see how you are that far in the wrong. anyway, find out what it was she wanted and then talk about how to buy it if it is that important. if it is some big luxury item and you can't afford it, then there is another discussion that needs to happen about managing money wisely. 1309864[/snapback] +1 Hell, let her read this thread. It will not only let her know how concerned you are about this, but it will also let her know that you are doing what is best for your finances. Honestly if she is really going to leave you over this, either you have more problems than just this in the trust department, or she is a flake that you would be better off without. More than likely both of you over blowing the problem, her being real mad about it, and you thinking that it could possibly cost you the relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Jeebus, go home and tell her to make you a sammich already. This is why wimmin shouldn't be allowed to handle money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Jeebus, go home and tell her to make you a sammich already. This is why wimmin shouldn't be allowed to handle money. 1309961[/snapback] On second thought, unless she has a good sense of humor maybe you shouldn't let her read this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 On second thought, unless she has a good sense of humor maybe you shouldn't let her read this thread. 1309964[/snapback] nothing like TimC with a sammich or a torch... Heck, nobody's saying she doesn't have a right to be mad. She does. It's the degree of mad that's in question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Jeebus, go home and tell her to make you a sammich already. This is why wimmin shouldn't be allowed to handle money. 1309961[/snapback] Heck yeah! And what moron decided that women should be allowed to work in offices? Incompetent, petty, gossipy and crying. There's my model employee. Our profits are through the roof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 i really hope your marriage is not in jeopardy because you adjusted your tax withholdings. i don't see any betrayls, malicious deception, or lies...... i hope she sees the big picture and realizes what you mean to her adn that she doesn't punish you for an eternity for this....... truely, my best to you. bier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 i really hope your marriage is not in jeopardy because you adjusted your tax withholdings. i don't see any betrayls, malicious deception, or lies...... i hope she sees the big picture and realizes what you mean to her adn that she doesn't punish you for an eternity for this....... truely, my best to you. bier 1309977[/snapback] I wish I had been smart enough to say that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetlips Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 This part of your post screams "I'm a woman."Seriously, Change your deduction today and show her, next year the 'big' plan goes into effect. This part makes me question it. Andddddd give her really great make up sex tonight! 1309916[/snapback] Whattttt??? Make up sex is the best part about fighting. Flowers to her office tomorrow will allow her to flaunt to her co-workers too. On second thought, unless she has a good sense of humor maybe you shouldn't let her read this thread. 1309964[/snapback] I dont think you should show her this yet ......that will only add to her feelings that you dont talk to HER. I'd be angry if my hubby told everyone our problems before we resolved things ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Whattttt??? Make up sex is the best part about fighting. 1309989[/snapback] You're absolutely correct. But as a woman, you are undoubtedly aware that Mrs. SB holds all the make-up sex cards. It's not up to Mr. SB when or if there will be make-up sex. And as I said earlier, if you're a woman you know that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 How come she didn't notice the increase in take-home pay earlier? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 How come she didn't notice the increase in take-home pay earlier? 1310043[/snapback] She's a woman, wiegie. Or have you not been paying attention? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 People react differently to different things. To some, this is a small thing. To others, this is big. We need to know the big picture, but if the wife is really upset about this there is probably a good reason that needs to be (at least) talked about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seattle LawDawg Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Wow....your wife might leave you because you didn't let the government use your money interest free. I would have felt bad about that for about 1/3 of a second. Ya, you should have told her that you made that change, especially if she had come to expect it based on previous years. You should apologize for that. Beyond that, hold your ground. You made a wise choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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