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I HATE JOB INTERVIEWS!


Big F'n Dave
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What's with the bullchit questions HR people ask these days? Had a phone interview for a sales position with a national food service company today. I've owned a meat and seafood market for the past 10 years, so I feel I have a fairly solid grasp of the industry.

She asks nothing practical (IMO), instead focusing on questions like: Tell me in detail about a professional goal you've accomplished in the past five years. Tell me in detail about a situation where you've competed professionally against someone and won in the last five years.

W T F is that? Isn't it at least a little important that I have over 10 years experience in the industry? Isn't it at least a little important that I'm a very well-spoken, articulate guy? Isn't it at least a little important that I'm hung like a horse? :D

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What's with the bullchit questions HR people ask these days? Had a phone interview for a sales position with a national food service company today. I've owned a meat and seafood market for the past 10 years, so I feel I have a fairly solid grasp of the industry.

She asks nothing practical (IMO), instead focusing on questions like: Tell me in detail about a professional goal you've accomplished in the past five years. Tell me in detail about a situation where you've competed professionally against someone and won in the last five years.

W  T  F is that? Isn't it at least a little important that I have over 10 years experience in the industry? Isn't it at least a little important that I'm a very well-spoken, articulate guy? Isn't it at least a little important that I'm hung like a horse?  :D

 

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It's all BS until you get to the hiring manager. Basically you just have to BS your way until you get to the Hiring Manager. Real examples help. It can't be too hard to snow an internal HR person / recruiter though.

 

Good Luck.

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What's with the bullchit questions HR people ask these days? Had a phone interview for a sales position with a national food service company today. I've owned a meat and seafood market for the past 10 years, so I feel I have a fairly solid grasp of the industry.

She asks nothing practical (IMO), instead focusing on questions like: Tell me in detail about a professional goal you've accomplished in the past five years. Tell me in detail about a situation where you've competed professionally against someone and won in the last five years.

W  T  F is that? Isn't it at least a little important that I have over 10 years experience in the industry? Isn't it at least a little important that I'm a very well-spoken, articulate guy? Isn't it at least a little important that I'm hung like a horse?  :D

 

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Methinks the HR person is the first line of questioning and weeds people out before the real decision makers interview you.

 

Gotta play the game and be ready for the "where do you see yourself in five years" questions.

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Isn't it at least a little important that I'm hung like a horse?  :D

 

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Did you at least bring that point up?

 

 

 

Oh and our interview process is very similar. Very scripted even when I'm asking the questions versus the HR folks. You're right, it sucks. I feel weird even asking those questions.

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Tell me in detail about a situation where you've competed professionally against someone and won in the last five years.

 

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Certainly not in Free Leagues Suck....and the Saints...and the Cubs. darn, I wouldn't hire you if they're looking for winners. :D

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I used to work for a big telecommuncation factory and was involved in the interview/hiring process. They always had a list of these BS questions that we were supposed to ask, a lot like the ones you mentioned. I usually tossed the list aside and went on my own. Of the 3 instances where people were fired and had to be escorted out by the cops, none of them were the ones I hired. :D

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Certainly not in Free Leagues Suck....and the Saints...and the Cubs.  darn, I wouldn't hire you if they're looking for winners.  :D

 

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Yeah, ha-ha-hell. GFY, Timmayyy. :D

Seriously, this sh*t is wearing me out. The worst part is, I don't have answers for those questions. Professional goals? As a small-business owner, it was my goal to keep the fu*king doors open. Competition? Sure. Every fu*king day, but nothing I can break down into detailed step-by-step explanations. :D

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Now's the time to come up with some answers to those questions in anticipation of the next interview. Even if you have to embellish, at least have an arsenal of answers at the ready next time. It sucks, but that's the sort of preparation you have to go through in this day and age.

 

If someone here is in HR, why don't you list a bunch of common questions and maybe we can help BFD think of good ways to reply?

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Yeah, ha-ha-hell. GFY, Timmayyy. :D

Seriously, this sh*t is wearing me out. The worst part is, I don't have answers for those questions. Professional goals? As a small-business owner, it was my goal to keep the fu*king doors open. Competition? Sure. Every fu*king day, but nothing I can break down into detailed step-by-step explanations. :D

 

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A small business owner would seemingly be a gold mine for questions like that.

 

"My professional goal as a small business owner was to ensure margins stayed above 30% through keeping overhead costs low, negotiating with vendors, etc. Many of the facets of your company that take certain departments to take care of issues, I did myself. "

 

Blah, blah, blah...

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You could tell her how you did in the Huddle Fights?  :D

 

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:D

 

BFD if thats what you keep getting hit with at least its preparing you and you should be ready for the next time someone hits you with those questions..Somewhere down the line you will come across someone with half a brain that will realize how valuable your hands on experience is as opposed to how you answer these trendy generic questions.

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A small business owner would seemingly be a gold mine for questions like that. 

 

"My professional goal as a small business owner was to ensure margins stayed above 30% through keeping overhead costs low, negotiating with vendors, etc.  Many of the facets of your company that take certain departments to take care of issues, I did myself. "

 

Blah, blah, blah...

 

1349746[/snapback]

 

 

 

Good info here.

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A small business owner would seemingly be a gold mine for questions like that. 

 

"My professional goal as a small business owner was to ensure margins stayed above 30% through keeping overhead costs low, negotiating with vendors, etc.  Many of the facets of your company that take certain departments to take care of issues, I did myself. "

 

Blah, blah, blah...

 

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Yes, absolutely. I was thinking of several options you could give them. Shouldn't be a problem yabbering on for several minutes on each topic.

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Yeah, I think Soup nailed it. Emphasize the breadth of experience you've chalked up without actually saying anything. In other words, be a sales man and sell yourself.

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Now's the time to come up with some answers to those questions in anticipation of the next interview.  Even if you have to embellish, at least have an arsenal of answers at the ready next time.  It sucks, but that's the sort of preparation you have to go through in this day and age.

 

If someone here is in HR, why don't you list a bunch of common questions and maybe we can help BFD think of good ways to reply?

 

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Exactly...when I interview, which is generally at least 1 or 2 months every year, I have to write down about 5-6 paragraphs before hand and think back on accomplishments, goals, personal achievements, future-where-do-you-see-yourself-BS, and so on...each interview I add the questions they ask to my arsenal...by the 5th or 6th one I'm good to go...

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"Lemme stop you right there. I'm the guy for this job, because I know more about this industry than anyone else you are interviewing... and one of the ways I maintained a successful company for so many years was by doing things that made the company more successful and avoiding bullsh:t."

 

"You'll have to excuse me, but how are these questions supposed to get you anything besides someone who knows how to make themselves sound better than they actually are?"

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"Lemme stop you right there.  I'm the guy for this job, because I know more about this industry than anyone else you are interviewing... and one of the ways I maintained a successful company for so many years was by doing things that made the company more successful and avoiding bullsh:t."

 

"You'll have to excuse me, but how are these questions supposed to get you anything besides someone who knows how to make themselves sound better than they actually are?"

 

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Nice. Can I slap them after that? You know, for emphasis?

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Nice. Can I slap them after that? You know, for emphasis?

 

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Ooh...I like the slapping bit...as long as it is a bizzach slap and on the hindquarter!

 

:D

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What's with the bullchit questions HR people ask these days? Had a phone interview for a sales position with a national food service company today. I've owned a meat and seafood market for the past 10 years, so I feel I have a fairly solid grasp of the industry.

She asks nothing practical (IMO), instead focusing on questions like: Tell me in detail about a professional goal you've accomplished in the past five years. Tell me in detail about a situation where you've competed professionally against someone and won in the last five years.

W  T  F is that? Isn't it at least a little important that I have over 10 years experience in the industry? Isn't it at least a little important that I'm a very well-spoken, articulate guy? Isn't it at least a little important that I'm hung like a horse?  :D

 

1349687[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

Yeah, you could waste your time answering questions like that. Or you could get off your ass and sleep your way to the top.

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