keggerz Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 The doctor told us a few weeks ago that my grandmother is ACTIVELY DYING: Definition: The ending of a life. The time when a person is facing impending death, whose anticipated life expectancy is measured in days or weeks. The final or ending phase of life, which depending on the person, may last for years, months, weeks, days or hours. This is the time when the focus of care shifts from aggressively treating medical problems to providing comfort or palliative care. My grandmother is a DNR. Yesterday I got a call from my step mom saying that they expect my grandmother to pass away at some point this week. As of yesterday she hadn't eaten or drank anything in TWO days. She is down to 93lbs from 135LBs when I last saw her the week after christmas(i live 6+ hours away). She only says 2 names Phyllis and Johnny(her sister and BIL)...she doesnt even say my dads name and I know that is tearing him up. She has been in pretty bad shape for quite some time and to say she is a fighter is putting it mildly....but its now that I find myself wanting to pray for her to die quickly and peacefully...yet I feel horribly guilty for feeling that way even though I know she is going to die. I just dont want her to suffer(they say she isnt suffering yet)....the doctors said that after 3 days with no food or liquids her body will start to shut down(liver and kidneys 1st(i think) and that is when I am afraid she will start to suffer...I have been pretty strong accepting that she has been sick and that dying was inevitable but yesterday after that call I picked up the phone to call my wife and out of no where I just starter to uncontrollably cry for a couple of minutes...I guess in the end no matter how well you think you are prepared and ready to accept death that you really find out that you arent....My grandfather died 3 yrs ago while I was living in the Outer Banks(6-7 hours away)...Once I got the call that they didnt think he was going to make it thru the nite I packed and was on the road almost immediately...On that drive I was praying for him not to die until I could see him...unfortunately those prayers weren't answered as I got a call from my sister as I was driving over the Delaware Memorial Bridge(a bridge he helped to build) saying that he had just died. I was about 45minutes away. This time there wont be a call saying that my grandmother might not make it thru the nite...just a call saying that she has passed away....this time I wont be praying for her to hold on so that I can see her...instead i will be praying that she passes away(peacefully).... Is it wrong to pray for that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Absolutely not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duchess Jack Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 I am so sorry dude. I wish everyone involved peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Nothing wrong with that at all Keg. My mother died from emphasema and lung cancer, she weighed about 80 pounds or so right before she died. My brother died last summer from Chronic pancreatitus (SP) and Chrones and he actually called me a few weeks before to say goodbye and that he was ready to go, he was also a UCC minister. All the best Keg, you will be in my prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatman Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 I don't think so...sorry to hear about that Keg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Swerski Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 (edited) Absolutely not What's wrong with wishing somebody's suffering to end? I hope that your grandmother goes in peace. Edited April 24, 2007 by Bill Swerski Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 All you can do is pray for the best Keg. A peaceful end with no pain when there is nothing else to hope for is not a bad thing to pray for. My best to you and your family in this tough time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanruiz13 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Sorry to hear about that Keg. Best wishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 (edited) What's wrong with wishing somebody's suffering to end? I hope that your grandmother goes in peace. Absolutely not as in nothing wrong with praying for that...I was replying to the last sentence... Edited April 24, 2007 by alexgaddis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Swerski Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Absolutely not as in nothing wrong with praying for that...I was replying to the last sentence... My mistake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 My mistake But you want my grandmother to die? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 nothing wrong with that at all keg. it is coming from a pure heart that just wants peace for her and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 All you can do is pray for the best Keg. A peaceful end with no pain when there is nothing else to hope for is not a bad thing to pray for. My best to you and your family in this tough time. Well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 i would pray that she finds peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 We went through something very similar with my grandma last November. The Dr.'s gave her 3-4 days to live. She hung on for almost two weeks. She went days without eating or drinking anything and her body began to shut down. We were all praying for her to just let go and end the suffering. I imagine that's hard to do. It was very hard to see her in that condition. Stay strong Keg. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 absolutely nothing wrong with that.... just be glad she has the DNR stuff taken care of or it could get messy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 What's wrong with wishing somebody's suffering to end? I hope that your grandmother goes in peace. What Bill said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeeman Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Sorry keg - our prayers are with you. I'm afraid I'll be posting something similar in a few months for my father-in-law. Peace to your grandma, you and your whole family.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Sorry to hear, Keg. It's not only ok, but I feel it's a duty to end suffering. That may sound strange, but I see nothing wrong with it. Peace to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 My prayers are with you and your family. Wanting a peaceful end for your grandmother is not wrtong at all. God bless you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Best wishes, Keg. Nothing wrong with wanting the best for your grandmother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timmypg Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Sorry to hear that Keg. Not wanting your grandma to suffer is only right. I'll keep your family in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebellab Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 (edited) I see it quite often. People will come to the funeral home and say, we are just praying that it is not long. They will do some of the preliminary stuff before the death occurs. My prayers are with your family during this time. It is a difficult time. Hopefully she is under Hospice care and they can keep her comfortable until her death. With your question about her suffering, in my mind most people go into shock once their kidneys shut down, and they really aren't feeling anything. Edited April 24, 2007 by Rebellab Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 By praying for her death, it's not as if you are wishing harm upon her. You love her and want what's best for her. God can understand that. When I'm faced with a tough or confusing situation where it's hard to know what to pray for, I usually ask God for a resolution that will have the greatest effect of bringing glory to His name. I would imagine that your Grandmother finding peace in death would probably do just that for everyone involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 I'm not a praying person but I think rather than praying for her death, it may be better to simply pray for an end to her suffering and let whatever "higher powers that be" decide how best to end that suffering. she'll be in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.