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I Was Just Thinking......


jaxfactor
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Are there many songs out there with the specifics aimed at VD(venereal disease)? Don't ask me what made me think of this. But I found one(a song, not the disease :D ):

 

Natural Thing

 

 

"Since you came from Memphis

You can look but please don't touch

Didn't like rock and rollers

They seemed a bit much too much

 

(chorus 1)

Cause it's the natural thing feelin' the star

Natural blood starts to flow

Yeah, the natural thing, get up a star

Then she'll never let you go

 

Hey girl, now does it feel alright

Think I'm gettin' through

Don't you think the band's real tight

Wait till we start to move

 

(Chorus 2)

May sound funny but you gave it to me

I didn't even like it

May sound funny but you gave it to me

Now I got to live without it

 

Why'd ya do it? Why'd ya do it? :wacko::D:D

 

I been down to Atlanta

Got to move my feet

Gettin' down before the last call :D

With every star she meets

 

chorus 1

chorus 2

 

chorus 2

Why'd ya do it? Why'd ya do it, yeah?

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Medical Love Song by Monty Python

 

Inflammation of the foreskin

Reminds me of your smile

I've had ballanital chancroids

For quite a little while

I gave my heart to NSU

That lovely night in June

I ache for you, my darling

And I hope you get well soon

 

My penile warts, your herpes

My syphilitic my obsession

Your monilial infection

How I miss you more and more

Your dhobi's itch, my scrumpox

Our lovely gonorrhea

At least we both were lying

When we said that we were clear

 

Our syphilitic kisses

Sealed the secret of our tryst

You gave me scrotal pustules

With a quick flick of your wrist

Your trichovaginitis

Sent shivers down my spine

I got snail tracks in my anus

When your spirochetes met mine

 

{Refrain}

Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis

Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis

Epididymitis, interstitial keratitis

Syphilitic choroiditis, and anterior uveitis

 

My clapped out genitalia

Is not so bad for me

As the complete and utter failure

Every time I try to pee

My doctor says my buboes

Are the worst he's ever seen

My scrotum's painted orange

And my balls are turning green

 

My heart is very tender

Though my parts are awful raw

You might have been infected

But you never were a bore

I'm dying from your love, my love

I'm your spirochætal clown

I've left my body to science

But I'm afraid they've turned it down

 

{Refrain}

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a few woody guthrie numbers

 

my favorite...

 

When I take my pencil and paper my dear in my hand,

The plans that we dreamed like wild waves like in my mind.

And the cottage and kids that we dreamed of will never come true.

I've got that old siff and I'll not bring it home dear to you.

I can't write so plain for my boat rides a high pitching sea,

As you read my words there's no telling where I would be.

You kept your promise you saved all your kisses for me,

I broke my vows and I'm wrecked with that ol' VD.

 

I sit on the edge of my bunk dear to write you these lines,

And the rest of my crew they're sleeping the land of their dreams.

As I walk the deck and look out on the ocean an skies

I hear of your weeping my sifless will bring to your life.

 

I can taste your wet lips as you kissed me goodbye at the pier,

An' the splash of the foams I can hear your sweet words in my ear.

Keep yourself healthy and keep yourself clean oh my dear,

We will kiss again here if your gone for a week or a year.

 

Each time the wild waves rise up my love sinks more.

My **** I steer right to your shore.

I tossed this away for a drink in that gamblin' house bar,

With the siff as my cargo, I'll dock in your harbour no more.

 

Well the words of my letters they're soaked in my unfaithful tears,

The storm it is worst and now all of my dreams I have speared

it

I'll drown in my sifless somewhere in this wild boiling foam.

 

Come all you salt seamen that walk on that land oR the waves,

Don't let a wild hour (bury)(lose) all your hopes in the grave,

Steer from that quicksand and sail to your brightest of stars.

Don't let that sifless wreck you in these hot fiery waves.

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Hopefully she was worth it, Jax. That Q-Tip sure is fun, or so I've heard.

 

(And, don't feel compelled to reply with the standard, "no, it isn't me, that's not why I was thinking about it" line)

 

Or, a friend reminded me...:wacko:

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  • 1 month later...
Hopefully she was worth it, Jax. That Q-Tip sure is fun, or so I've heard.

 

(And, don't feel compelled to reply with the standard, "no, it isn't me, that's not why I was thinking about it" line)

I had to do that in college after a scare - quite possibly the most painful thing in the world to have to go through.

 

Afterwards I thanked the good Lord I came back clean and vowed never again to go into battle without a helmet.

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I had to do that in college after a scare - quite possibly the most painful thing in the world to have to go through.

 

Afterwards I thanked the good Lord I came back clean and vowed never again to go into battle without a helmet.

 

+1

 

you had me worried

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I have no experience with the clap, but UFO is one of the great, underappreciated bands of my lifetime. Michael Schenker was a masterful guitarist until the addictions took over.

 

I got to see UFO many years ago. They opened for Cheap Trick. One of those concerts where the opening act was WAY better than the headliner.

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I got to see UFO many years ago. They opened for Cheap Trick. One of those concerts where the opening act was WAY better than the headliner.

 

I've probably been to around a hundred concerts in my life. Amazing how many times I have gone to see the opening act (usually much better musicians or less mainstream music, just not high profile), then left before the headliner. I have missed such great acts as Foghat, Billy Squier, Def Leppard using this sneaky technique. I once saw Wishbone Ash (who was amazing), Marshall Crenshaw (who was interesting) and Fates Warning (who was unbelievable) before ducking out and passing on Lover Boy. What a contrast in ability.

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