jaxfactor Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Are there many songs out there with the specifics aimed at VD(venereal disease)? Don't ask me what made me think of this. But I found one(a song, not the disease ): Natural Thing "Since you came from Memphis You can look but please don't touch Didn't like rock and rollers They seemed a bit much too much (chorus 1) Cause it's the natural thing feelin' the star Natural blood starts to flow Yeah, the natural thing, get up a star Then she'll never let you go Hey girl, now does it feel alright Think I'm gettin' through Don't you think the band's real tight Wait till we start to move (Chorus 2) May sound funny but you gave it to me I didn't even like it May sound funny but you gave it to me Now I got to live without it Why'd ya do it? Why'd ya do it? I been down to Atlanta Got to move my feet Gettin' down before the last call With every star she meets chorus 1 chorus 2 chorus 2 Why'd ya do it? Why'd ya do it, yeah? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millerx Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 ummm... does this count? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I think the gold standard is the Frank Zappa classic "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I think the gold standard is the Frank Zappa classic "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" That pretty much says it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeductiveNun Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Medical Love Song by Monty Python Inflammation of the foreskin Reminds me of your smile I've had ballanital chancroids For quite a little while I gave my heart to NSU That lovely night in June I ache for you, my darling And I hope you get well soon My penile warts, your herpes My syphilitic my obsession Your monilial infection How I miss you more and more Your dhobi's itch, my scrumpox Our lovely gonorrhea At least we both were lying When we said that we were clear Our syphilitic kisses Sealed the secret of our tryst You gave me scrotal pustules With a quick flick of your wrist Your trichovaginitis Sent shivers down my spine I got snail tracks in my anus When your spirochetes met mine {Refrain} Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis Epididymitis, interstitial keratitis Syphilitic choroiditis, and anterior uveitis My clapped out genitalia Is not so bad for me As the complete and utter failure Every time I try to pee My doctor says my buboes Are the worst he's ever seen My scrotum's painted orange And my balls are turning green My heart is very tender Though my parts are awful raw You might have been infected But you never were a bore I'm dying from your love, my love I'm your spirochætal clown I've left my body to science But I'm afraid they've turned it down {Refrain} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 So, whatcha got jax? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geeteebee Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Hopefully she was worth it, Jax. That Q-Tip sure is fun, or so I've heard. (And, don't feel compelled to reply with the standard, "no, it isn't me, that's not why I was thinking about it" line) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 a few woody guthrie numbers my favorite... When I take my pencil and paper my dear in my hand,The plans that we dreamed like wild waves like in my mind. And the cottage and kids that we dreamed of will never come true. I've got that old siff and I'll not bring it home dear to you. I can't write so plain for my boat rides a high pitching sea, As you read my words there's no telling where I would be. You kept your promise you saved all your kisses for me, I broke my vows and I'm wrecked with that ol' VD. I sit on the edge of my bunk dear to write you these lines, And the rest of my crew they're sleeping the land of their dreams. As I walk the deck and look out on the ocean an skies I hear of your weeping my sifless will bring to your life. I can taste your wet lips as you kissed me goodbye at the pier, An' the splash of the foams I can hear your sweet words in my ear. Keep yourself healthy and keep yourself clean oh my dear, We will kiss again here if your gone for a week or a year. Each time the wild waves rise up my love sinks more. My **** I steer right to your shore. I tossed this away for a drink in that gamblin' house bar, With the siff as my cargo, I'll dock in your harbour no more. Well the words of my letters they're soaked in my unfaithful tears, The storm it is worst and now all of my dreams I have speared it I'll drown in my sifless somewhere in this wild boiling foam. Come all you salt seamen that walk on that land oR the waves, Don't let a wild hour (bury)(lose) all your hopes in the grave, Steer from that quicksand and sail to your brightest of stars. Don't let that sifless wreck you in these hot fiery waves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 (And, don't feel compelled to reply with the standard, "no, it isn't me, that's not why I was thinking about it" line) It's just like cutting an SBD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westvirginia Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 It's just like cutting an SBD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 So, whatcha got jax? I can give you advice on treatment. Just PM me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Like Soup Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Hopefully she was worth it, Jax. That Q-Tip sure is fun, or so I've heard. (And, don't feel compelled to reply with the standard, "no, it isn't me, that's not why I was thinking about it" line) Or, a friend reminded me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil_gop_liars Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I can give you advice on treatment. Just PM me. wait wait wait...you mean jax is women? or did you change specialties? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 wait wait wait...you mean jax is women? or did you change specialties? Hey....men or women......VD is VD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxfactor Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 So, whatcha got jax? Vodka and Donuts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redfish Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 I have no experience with the clap, but UFO is one of the great, underappreciated bands of my lifetime. Michael Schenker was a masterful guitarist until the addictions took over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Hopefully she was worth it, Jax. That Q-Tip sure is fun, or so I've heard. (And, don't feel compelled to reply with the standard, "no, it isn't me, that's not why I was thinking about it" line) I had to do that in college after a scare - quite possibly the most painful thing in the world to have to go through. Afterwards I thanked the good Lord I came back clean and vowed never again to go into battle without a helmet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetsfan Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 I had to do that in college after a scare - quite possibly the most painful thing in the world to have to go through. Afterwards I thanked the good Lord I came back clean and vowed never again to go into battle without a helmet. +1 you had me worried Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 I have no experience with the clap, but UFO is one of the great, underappreciated bands of my lifetime. Michael Schenker was a masterful guitarist until the addictions took over. I got to see UFO many years ago. They opened for Cheap Trick. One of those concerts where the opening act was WAY better than the headliner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redfish Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 I got to see UFO many years ago. They opened for Cheap Trick. One of those concerts where the opening act was WAY better than the headliner. I've probably been to around a hundred concerts in my life. Amazing how many times I have gone to see the opening act (usually much better musicians or less mainstream music, just not high profile), then left before the headliner. I have missed such great acts as Foghat, Billy Squier, Def Leppard using this sneaky technique. I once saw Wishbone Ash (who was amazing), Marshall Crenshaw (who was interesting) and Fates Warning (who was unbelievable) before ducking out and passing on Lover Boy. What a contrast in ability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 I'll bet only Puddy and I remember rockin' it to UTFO back in the day. Roxanne, Roxanne. Awww, yeah. Now that was real music. But to stay on topic, Roxanne gave me the crabs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfden1 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 "The Jack" by AC/DC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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