SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I'm not talking about a friend who borrows $20 while you're at lunch because he left his wallet at home. I'm talking about friends/relatives that ask you for loans of $500 to $1000, or more. I'm a big believer in the teachings Dave Ramsey. He's the financial expert that preaches that the key to financial prosperity is the complete elimination of debt. There are plenty of posts here on The Huddle both for and against his methods. I'm not trying to rekindle that debate. I have followed everything Dave teaches and it has really paid off. However, he has one golden rule that I haven't been able to follow: "Never let anyone borrow money". For me, this is definitely one of those "easier said, than done" rules. It's tough when a friend or relative comes to you and asks you to borrow money that you know you have. My first impulse is to listen to Dave and just flat out say "no". But then I think back to a situation that I found myself in about 17 years ago. At the time I had no money (or credit) and the transmission on my car went out. I was going to school full time and working full time. I had basically spent the first 6 years after high school partying and was finally starting to get my act together. Not having a car would have really put me in a bind. I went to a friend who didn't have any money either but had excellent credit. I convinced him to get a $2500 loan from his credit union that he would let me borrow and I would then make the payments on. Although my friend was well aware of my irresponsible ways following high school he could see that I was working hard and trying to get my life in order so he agreed. My car was fixed and I repaid the loan without issue. Fast forward 17 years and I now frequently find myself on the other side of these types of situations. I often times agree to loan people money and I wish I could say that I have never been burnt, but I have. I'm wondering how others feel about loaning (or borrowing) money from friends or family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
driveby Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I'm thinking that if you loan money to a friend and they don't pay it back they weren't really a friend to begin with. Judgment error on your part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 (edited) From what I can tell, Dave Ramsey teaches people how to manage money. It's up to you to be a good human being. If you can afford it, do it, for the very reason your buddy helped you out. You never know how your generosity is going to pay off. Edited February 4, 2010 by Chief Dick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I never loan money to friends or family. I give money to friends and family. If they chose to give it back great, if not I don't expect it. I can't tell you how much money we've given one of my wife's sisters. Heck I probably don't know all of it. I don't ever expect to see any of it again, and I imagine I'll give her some more in the future. I don't sweat it, because I didn't loan it, and I can afford to give it. If I couldn't afford to give it, I wouldn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I never loan money to friends or family. I give money to friends and family. If they chose to give it back great, if not I don't expect it. Exactly, 99.999% of these end up being gifts anyway. Might as well call it what it is from the beginning and save yourself the stress of worrying if you'll ever see that money again. We don't loan/give money to friends or family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 its not a loan, its a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pork chop express Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 depends on who's asking? some people, i cannot and will not oblige. where others, i'd give the shirt off my back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wirehairman Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I never loan money to friends or family. I give money to friends and family. If they chose to give it back great, if not I don't expect it. I can't tell you how much money we've given one of my wife's sisters. Heck I probably don't know all of it. I don't ever expect to see any of it again, and I imagine I'll give her some more in the future. I don't sweat it, because I didn't loan it, and I can afford to give it. If I couldn't afford to give it, I wouldn't. +1 Saves a lot of stress to just consider it a gift from the start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 depends on who's asking? some people, i cannot and will not oblige. where others, i'd give the shirt off my back. +1. I've been helped by numerous people years ago, most often my parents. I got into the computer thing in the late '80s through a loan from them that I paid back monthly on time every time. I'd rather not have the loan at all than fail to pay it back. And people failing to return stuff or money they've borrowed will only do so once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorcher Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I never lend money unless I know I can do without it. You never know when you lend money if you are helping that person turn things around or if you are prolonging the inevitable. The time that upset me the most was when a person who had never paid me back asked to borrow money again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I never loan money to friends or family. I give money to friends and family. If they chose to give it back great, if not I don't expect it. I can't tell you how much money we've given one of my wife's sisters. Heck I probably don't know all of it. I don't ever expect to see any of it again, and I imagine I'll give her some more in the future. I don't sweat it, because I didn't loan it, and I can afford to give it. If I couldn't afford to give it, I wouldn't. Same here. And I like CD's analogy about dave ramsey teaching how to "manage money" not how to be a human being. If it's in my power to do good for someone I should do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks21 Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 Depends on my current financial situation, who is asking, and what it is for. I give money to my wife's family on a pretty routine basis, since they live in a 3rd world country and barely have a means to get basic necessities. If my sister needs a few hundred to pay the bills, no problem. She'd gladly do the same for me if the situation was reversed. If my alcoholic buddy needs $500 to get to Vegas to watch a UFC fight, no chance. Sorry, be more responsible with your own money before you get the chance to blow mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skilly Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 This past year, I loaned a buddy $150.00 around November. He had been out of work since May, and was also going through bankruptcy. He had used up all of his savings and any severence pay he had received. I would have given him more, but that was about all I could part with at the time, with heating bills on the rise and holidays coming up. I sent him a check out the next day, and it was cashed that week. I didn't get a thank you from him for about 3 weeks later. He has since found work, but I haven't heard from him since Christmas. It was understood that this was a loan, and that he would pay me back when he could. I have a feeling that he will conveniently forget about it....guess I should too. Years ago,my brother loaned me $1000 when I was going through my divorce and needed to get an apartment. I paid him back $100 a month until my tax return came in, and then I paid him in full with an extra 10%. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I'm not talking about a friend who borrows $20 while you're at lunch because he left his wallet at home. I'm talking about friends/relatives that ask you for loans of $500 to $1000, or more. GB no "friends" or family like that (knock on wood re the family). I'm a big believer in the teachings Dave Ramsey. He's the financial expert that preaches that the key to financial prosperity is the complete elimination of debt. he has one golden rule that I haven't been able to follow: "Never let anyone borrow money". I hope those are general rules of thumb he's preaching and not absolutes, in which case I mostly agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABearWithFurniture Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 they live in a 3rd world country and barely have a means to get basic necessities... You married a Canadian? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I give money to my wife's family on a pretty routine basis And you are living with 3 roommates? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Like others have said, I help where I can but that doesn't mean being irresponsible. I know who is in a bind and who just can't manage their money or their life under any circumstances. Sometimes, not lending or giving money is a better lesson than supplying it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I've followed Dave's advice on many things and I think the "borrowing" rule is as good as any other. Typically, nothing good can come of it. Thanksgiving doesn't taste the same when family members owe you money. You are better off not doing it. You can tell people you don't have the extra funds or you have changed your mind after bad experiences and no longer loan money to people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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