Biting your lip

[whomper]

How often do you have to restrain yourself in the workplace before you grab someones neck and strangle them mercilessly ? I see it a lot in my main job and often in the bartending job. A lot of it depends on how people handle themselves. Some people are just unreasonable Can't buy me loves that fly off the handle the second there is adversity. Some people are smug condescending d bags .

 

Case in point. As you guys know , I bartend on weekends at a banquet facility. I have to say, this place is absolutely beautiful and we offer a top shelf variety for people to chose from. 99.9% of the time it is open bar. People obviously order at an open bar more freely and with much less caution and monetary discretion as they would if they were paying for each drink. I understand the theory that they are giving a gift to the bride and groom so in essence there is some monetary lay out but I dont put 100 % full stock into that theory.

 

We see a lot of guys that I call "the shot warriors". These are guys that round up as many people as humanly possible to do shots many many times throughout the evening. I do not have a problem with this. God bless em i say. Its open bar. The people paying for this party lay out a very pretty penny so go for yours. As a bartender , I do think it is somewhat common courtesy to throw the guy setting up, mixing and pouring 15 shots to you a little something but if you dont I still pour it with a smile and go about my business . that really isnt the jist of this post anyway. So here comes the story after 1 last important tidbit to the story about our house policy. Our bar and the area that people dine and dance in are in 2 separate rooms. When it comes to shots, we have a policy that it must be done at the bar. A shot is a concentrated straight shot of alcohol to your head and for safety we like to look at the people doing them to make sure they arent too hammered to handle it. This rarely causes an issue and I dont think that was the issue with the forthcoming story. So here we go. This customer came up to the bar with 4 other guys and keep in mind our place is very . Yes sir, no sir customer comes first extremely aim to please oriented

 

Customer: I need 30 shots of Patron silver

 

Me: No Problem sir. We just require that the people doing the shots are present at the bar

 

Customer: Just pour the shots and dont worry about who is present at the bar

 

Me: Sir, I would be happy to pour you as many shots as you want but I can only pour them for the amount of people that are standing in front of me and ready to do them

 

Customer: Is this an open bar or is this not an open bar :getting loud: Pour the shots now

 

Me: Sir, yes it is an open bar but we still have house rules we need to abide by . There are 5 of you in front of. Why dont we get started with 5 for you guys and if you would like more I would be happy to back you up with more shots

 

Customer: Why dont you either pour me 30 shots or I either get the groom or your boss here to make sure that you do

 

at this point I want to reach into his chest and pull his heart out and make him watch me hold his beating heart in my hand while I bang his mom in the ass as his life slips away but i say "no problem sir, I will get the bar manager"

 

So I get the manager who takes a lot of pride in what we offer our guests. He is frugal though, and rightfully so, as far as us wasting alcohol. Our liquor distributer handles almost all the banquet facilities in our region and this guy tells us that nobody offers the full range of what we offer" So the manger comes over and i explain the situation and he backs me 100 % but does so very professionally

 

He said exactly what I said. He said , I could back up the people in front of me with as many shots as they want, as long as they arent too intoxicated. The monster truck aficionado still got a little lippy even with the manager and the manager delivered a sweet line when the kid threw out his "is this an open bar or not " line

 

The manager said yes sir we are offering an open bar but there is a difference between us being an open bar and a liquor store. Still trying to keep things professional and keep the guests having fun I once again offered the 5 shots when the manager walked away. the guys did the 5 and came back a few times later in the night and did more adhering to policy and of course not leaving a penny everytime they did it.

Edited July 19, 2010 by whomper

[Dutch Oven]

It sucks when you have to deal with d-bags like that, but sounds like you handled it as well as you could have Whomp. Kudos on letting cooler heads prevail.

Edited July 19, 2010 by Dutch Oven

[Bier Meister]

you should have given them your own personal "mixer"

[TimC]

I can only imagine. The public sucks bad enough. The drunk public? No thanks.

[billay]

In the hotel where I used to work, the banquet dept. had a no shots policy. I thought it was a good policy for precisely this reason.

 

BTW, guests should never be expected to tip at an open bar function.

[Big F'n Dave]

BTW, guests should never be expected to tip at an open bar function.

 

I've tipped the bartender at every open bar I've ever been to.

[i_am_the_swammi]

at this point I want to reach into his chest and pull his heart out and make him watch me hold his beating heart in my hand while I bang his mom in the ass as his life slips away but i say "no problem sir, I will get the bar manager"

 

[SEC=UGA]

We had an open bar at our wedding. I thought it was pretty nicely stocked (the place where we had it would provide bar tenders but no alcohol or mixers, we had to purchase the alcohol ourselves.) As much as I hate to say it, if one of my guests ordered 30 shots of patron silver, for he and a few of his buddies, I'd probably be tempted to go over and strangle him. I'm just doing some quick math, but that would be about $240 worth of shots for some loud mouth, yeah, I'd toss his ass from the wedding.

 

And, I think that, even w. an open bar, that the attendees should throw a little cash the bartenders way. I'll usually throw a 5 in at the first drink, as I'm certain I will probably forget to tip a few times or have someone else get me a drink at other times. Plus, if you throw the bartender a little coin, sometimes they'll give you a little bit better pour than technically they should ( a lot of places are using the one-and-a-half ounce pour tops on their bottles now.)

[detlef]

Whomp, needless to say, I hear you.

 

I'll leave it at that.

[alexgaddis]

In the hotel where I used to work, the banquet dept. had a no shots policy. I thought it was a good policy for precisely this reason.

 

BTW, guests should never be expected to tip at an open bar function.

I disagree....

[whomper]

I've tipped the bartender at every open bar I've ever been to.

 

 

A lot of people do. We do better at some parties than others but in general if we didn't expect the guests to tip none of us would bartend there.

[billay]

I've tipped the bartender at every open bar I've ever been to.

That's great, and your perogative. I was simply addressing the issue from the bartender's point of view. Guests are invited to enjoy themselves. Where there is an open bar, the guest isn't required to pay for anything. Often, when that's the case, the guest does not bring any money with him, because he/she knows that all of his costs have been covered, and as a result, won;t have any money to pay a tip. When the bar is open, the guests should be confident that the host is covering the compensation of the bartender as well.

 

You never want to make you guests look bad because they didn;t tip the bartender.

[twiley]

We had a no shot rule at our wedding and I always tip at least a dollar a drink at an open bar wedding. You're a cheap skate if you don't, it would cost you 4 times as much if you had to actually pay for your drinks. $10 - $20 for the night isn't going to kill you.

 

ETA: I have been to some weddings where tipping isn't allowed but there's usually a tip jar to let you know that there is.

Edited July 19, 2010 by twiley

[i_am_the_swammi]

BTW, guests should never be expected to tip at an open bar function.

 

I almost agree here, and have been in hospitality for 19 years.

 

If the host is fronting for an open bar, the host should also budget for a healthy tip for the servers as part of the cost. In fact, in many catered events, the bartender tip/service fee is automatically billed to the client. Bad form for the host to not include tips for the bartenders...

 

I wouldn't say you should "never" tip, as truly exceptional service warrants a little something extra.

[Azazello1313]

I'm with billay...I think a lot of places, on top of the fees they charge for everything, throw on an auto-gratuity of 20%. I am pretty sure that was the case with our wedding. I think the person paying for everything has the right to expect that everybody is getting their appropriate chunk of that rather significant sum, and they don't need to be feeling like their guests are expected to cover tips in addition. different venues may handle it differently, but billay's take seems to me to be by far the most professional.

[detlef]

The point Billay is making here is that you don't need to because it's different than a normal bar setting. We're all far more used to going out than going to weddings, so we get in the habit of realizing that we, as customers, are basically in charge of paying the salary of the service industry. So if you don't tip, you're not doing your part. In fact, it's technically not even a tip because it's an unspoken contract that you have as a diner or bar patron that you're going to leave something on top for the service. A major portion of the economic structure of the entire dining experience assumes this unspoken contract.

 

That is absolutely not the case in these situations and I make it abundantly clear to any clients that hire us out for events that, in this case, a tip is absolutely that, a tip. If they want to slide the servers a $20 for the night's work, that's fine but that each and every server there is being paid what they would typically make if they were waiting tables and that fee is clearly shown in the invoice.

 

Now, this isn't exactly the same as what is going on here because what I'm describing is the main client paying on top of the bill, not the general invitees paying a buck here and there.

 

FWIW, I typically do tip in these situations but nobody should ever feel like they're stiffing the bartender out of a decent night's take if they don't. If the place is reasonably nice, they're getting paid plenty and, if the fact that I never, ever, have any trouble getting servers and bartenders to give up their regular shifts to take a catering gig, they prefer it to a normal night.

 

Because of this, I do think it's far more important to simply be polite and civil than it is to kick a buck here and there. Again, they're getting paid well and would probably rather deal with a patient customer who's not tipping than some blow-hard waving a $5 bill and snapping his fingers for attention.

 

ETA: In situations like weddings, I think it's tacky to put a tip jar on the bar and I don't allow it at my events. If it's some Chamber of Commerce mixer, that's another story entirely.

Edited July 19, 2010 by detlef

[Big F'n Dave]

Again, they're getting paid well and would probably rather deal with a patient customer who's not tipping than some blow-hard waving a $5 bill and snapping his fingers for attention.

 

But, I'm guessing their first choice would be to deal with a patient customer who slips them a fiver every two or three drinks.

Edited July 19, 2010 by Big F'n Dave

[Hugh 0ne]

I've tipped the bartender at every open bar I've ever been to.

 

+1. Every one.

[rajncajn]

Good on you Whomp, I probably would have told him the open bar is closed to Adam's Apples.

 

I've been to open bar functions that both allowed & did not "allow" tipping. However, I always slip the bartender a buck for their service, so my glass is a little bit deeper & for putting up with my drunk ass. Well worth the price IMO.

[detlef]

But, I'm guessing their first choice would be to deal with a patient customer who slips them a fiver every two or three drinks.

Needless to say.

[billay]

You can also look at it this way, by tipping the bartender at an open bar event, you are disrespecting the host by suggesting that they are cheap and won;t adequately tip the staff.

[Hugh 0ne]

You can also look at it this way, by tipping the bartender at an open bar event, you are disrespecting the host by suggesting that they are cheap and won;t adequately tip the staff.

 

With all due respect, that's just an ass-backwards line of reasoning.

[Hugh 0ne]

Some open bar functions strictly have no tipping signs and the bartenders will not accept tips. That's fine.

 

If it's discretionary, I tip. I'm not saying you have to, but I do.

Edited July 19, 2010 by Hugh 0ne

[Rovers]

At quite a few weddings, I have seen bartenders who meander around, bsing with each other as much as talking to the patrons, and are in no particular hurry to serve. They move in slow motion. The service doesn't come close to what I see at a pub. But I tip them anyway. That seems to make them have a alittle more hop in their step when I return for another drink.

 

Seems to me that in a pub, the management wants to sell more alchohol, while in a catering hall they seem to think every drink poured is money out of their pocket, which in a way, I suppose it is. I've seen very few catering hall bartenders who could hold a job at a pay bar. If there are several people waiting, they also have no clue as to who is next. I have often told them who was next, especially if it's a kid waiting for a coke. I've gotten some dirty looks for that not only from the bartender, but frm the jerk he was about to serve too, while theywere ignoring the kid.

 

I guess they know the kid isn't going to tip them. Don't take it personal Whomp, I'm sure you don't fit my stereotype.

[Bier Meister]

BTW, guests should never be expected to tip at an open bar function.

 

agree.

 

That's great, and your perogative. I was simply addressing the issue from the bartender's point of view. Guests are invited to enjoy themselves. Where there is an open bar, the guest isn't required to pay for anything. Often, when that's the case, the guest does not bring any money with him, because he/she knows that all of his costs have been covered, and as a result, won;t have any money to pay a tip. When the bar is open, the guests should be confident that the host is covering the compensation of the bartender as well.

 

You never want to make you guests look bad because they didn;t tip the bartender.

 

agree.

 

 

I almost agree here, and have been in hospitality for 19 years.

 

If the host is fronting for an open bar, the host should also budget for a healthy tip for the servers as part of the cost. In fact, in many catered events, the bartender tip/service fee is automatically billed to the client. Bad form for the host to not include tips for the bartenders...

 

I wouldn't say you should "never" tip, as truly exceptional service warrants a little something extra.

 

agree.

 

 

The point Billay is making here is that you don't need to because it's different than a normal bar setting. We're all far more used to going out than going to weddings, so we get in the habit of realizing that we, as customers, are basically in charge of paying the salary of the service industry. So if you don't tip, you're not doing your part. In fact, it's technically not even a tip because it's an unspoken contract that you have as a diner or bar patron that you're going to leave something on top for the service. A major portion of the economic structure of the entire dining experience assumes this unspoken contract.

 

That is absolutely not the case in these situations and I make it abundantly clear to any clients that hire us out for events that, in this case, a tip is absolutely that, a tip. If they want to slide the servers a $20 for the night's work, that's fine but that each and every server there is being paid what they would typically make if they were waiting tables and that fee is clearly shown in the invoice.

 

Now, this isn't exactly the same as what is going on here because what I'm describing is the main client paying on top of the bill, not the general invitees paying a buck here and there.

 

FWIW, I typically do tip in these situations but nobody should ever feel like they're stiffing the bartender out of a decent night's take if they don't. If the place is reasonably nice, they're getting paid plenty and, if the fact that I never, ever, have any trouble getting servers and bartenders to give up their regular shifts to take a catering gig, they prefer it to a normal night.

 

Because of this, I do think it's far more important to simply be polite and civil than it is to kick a buck here and there. Again, they're getting paid well and would probably rather deal with a patient customer who's not tipping than some blow-hard waving a $5 bill and snapping his fingers for attention.

 

ETA: In situations like weddings, I think it's tacky to put a tip jar on the bar and I don't allow it at my events. If it's some Chamber of Commerce mixer, that's another story entirely.

 

agree.

 

 

You can also look at it this way, by tipping the bartender at an open bar event, you are disrespecting the host by suggesting that they are cheap and won;t adequately tip the staff.

 

disagree. it is not in a guest's consciousness what contracts have or have not been established. most people not in the industry do not know that bars at weddings are a different category than when one "just goes out."