twiley Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I skid my butt across the carpet like the dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Am I the only one that squats down in the yard and drags his ass? 1474808[/snapback] I skid my butt across the carpet like the dog. 1475016[/snapback] You two should spawn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skins Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Skins usually is standing outside my window in a rain coat and a Billy Kilmer jersey volunteering. 1474932[/snapback] I use TimC's sandpaper tongue to wipe my asz. It is gravelly from all the smokes and dried spoo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Skins usually is standing outside my window in a rain coat and a Billy Kilmer jersey volunteering. 1474932[/snapback] I use TimC's sandpaper tongue to wipe my asz. It is gravelly from all the smokes and dried spoo. 1475053[/snapback] TimC: skins is a poopoohead skins: Nuh-uh. TimC is a poopoohead. TimC: skins is the poopoohead! skins: I am not a poopoohead. You're the poopooest poopoohead. TimC: I'm rubber and you're glue....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skins Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 TimC: skins is a poopoohead skins: Nuh-uh. TimC is a poopoohead. TimC: skins is the poopoohead! skins: I am not a poopoohead. You're the poopooest poopoohead. TimC: I'm rubber and you're glue....? 1475064[/snapback] Caveman Nick: I love both you poopheads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I use TimC's sandpaper tongue to wipe my asz. It is gravelly from all the smokes and dried spoo. 1475053[/snapback] Nick said you were a poopoohead. :neener: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10g_DBA Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I found that the most effective way is to not wipe at all. Jump from the toilet directly to the shower. When the water hits, let the muddy Mississippi flow. It's also better for the environment. Less paper means more trees. And for those poops on the go, carry around a travel pack of 'wet ones' baby wipes. Fastidious anal hygiene is the name of the game. Zero skid marks is the goal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duchess Jack Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 (edited) Two poles are hanging in the woods when one decides the needs to go to the bathroom, so he goes behind a tree and does his business... a moment later he shouts out.... dude, do you have anything to wipe with? Dumbfounded, his friend thinks for a moment and shouts back... use a dollar.... the other guy goes 'really?' .... he friend goes 'sure....' a minute or two later he comes on out with an unhappy look on his face.... his friend asks... 'how did it go? 'It was horrible' he said 'not only do I have doodie all over my hands, but I've got four quarters lodged in my ass' Edited May 18, 2006 by Duchess Jack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Nobody uses baby wipes? Those things clean up the back door like nobody's business. They leave you clean and refreshed. 1474919[/snapback] +1 Always use 2. Fold, don't wad. You achieve even coverage when folded. Baby wipes also eliminate the possible poke-through and resulting assfinger that can occur with regular toilet paper. 1474962[/snapback] I concur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Nobody uses baby wipes? Those things clean up the back door like nobody's business. They leave you clean and refreshed. 1474919[/snapback] Baby wipes are not flushable & will clog your sanitary system. However they do make flushable wipes which work rather well. I'll sometimes use one for a follow-up when It's needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Baby wipes are not flushable & will clog your sanitary system. However they do make flushable wipes which work rather well. I'll sometimes use one for a follow-up when It's needed. 1475122[/snapback] I don't have septic, we have sewers, so it's not a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I don't have septic, we have sewers, so it's not a problem. 1475147[/snapback] If it doesn't break down it can clog a pipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Wadding seems to work better for me...when I fold it feels like there is too little between my hand and my poopy buthole... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiggieFries Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Wiping? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted May 18, 2006 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 That's why you have house cats, just bend over in front of one of them and let them lick your no-no spot clean. Plus it feels good too, kind of tickles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 You two should spawn. 1475037[/snapback] © Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 If it doesn't break down it can clog a pipe. 1475236[/snapback] Never had a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Pimp Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 3 squares, fold in half then in half again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Never had a problem. 1475940[/snapback] so you're saying you ACTUALLY wipe your ass with baby wipes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 so you're saying you ACTUALLY wipe your ass with baby wipes? 1475978[/snapback] F*cking A-right. It refreshes and cleans. Don't knock it 'til you try it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaP'N GRuNGe Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Am I the only one that squats down in the yard and drags his ass? 1474808[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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