Jackass Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 We've been going out 2 years. I really do like her but she doesn't really feel like "the one". On the other hand, we are pretty compatible, and I'm in my mid thirties and not getting any younger. She's putting heat on b/c she wants to know where we're going. I feel like the decision I make now will have huge implications for the rest of my life. I suppose I could smooth it over for now and give myself more time to decide but I don't want to waste my time and hers. Huddlers, I turn to you for your wisdom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 (edited) I don't think this is the place to get this kind of advice. Edited April 6, 2007 by NSab Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Ryan Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 beggers cant be choosers. In all seriousness, I knew when I met my wife, she was the one. I know its said all the time, but in my case it was reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 We've been going out 2 years. I really do like her but she doesn't really feel like "the one". On the other hand, we are pretty compatible, and I'm in my mid thirties and not getting any younger. She's putting heat on b/c she wants to know where we're going. I feel like the decision I make now will have huge implications for the rest of my life. I suppose I could smooth it over for now and give myself more time to decide but I don't want to waste my time and hers. Huddlers, I turn to you for your wisdom. Where's the love, dude? If you don't love her, it's time to move on. Don't hang around just because she's convenient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skins Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Cup size will be useful information for me to have when formulating my advice. TIA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 (edited) Well, I will think on this some more. But my immediate reaction without knowing you or her really well was to continue to give it a shot. Pawn off not getting engaged right now on financial reasons. My best friend, who is 31, was dating a girl that he wasn't sure whether or not was "The One". They had a great time together and had alot in common but there were some differences between them that were petty but led to him breaking up with her. He is still single, regrets the day he made the decision to break up with her and she's now married. You have to ask yourself what major differences/hurdles there are between the two of you that could make for a falling out at a later date. What is it that makes you feel that she's not the one? And how major is it? Do you think she would be a good wife? Mother? Is she a go-getter, determined... you know motivated. That's important. What's her family like and what is her relationship with them? Would she bring any major baggage with her if you were to marry? Has she cheated on you or you on her? Are you living together? How easy is it to communicate with her about tough issues. Open lines of communication are the most critical aspects to a healthy relationship. If you can't talk about good and BAD things/times alike those bad issues will grow like a cancer and kill your relationship. Cup size will be useful information for me to have when formulating my advice. TIA. Oh and of course this is important as well. After all in my mind she has to be just as beautiful outside as she is inside. Edited April 6, 2007 by irish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Cup size will be useful information for me to have when formulating my advice. TIA. i hope youre not talkin about this cup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 I don't think this is the place to get this kind of advice. Maybe not from you, Block Head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Neutron Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 If you're not in love with the girl, it's time to bail. Don't waste her time if she's looking for more and you're not interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 If you're not in love with the girl, it's time to bail. Don't waste her time if she's looking for more and you're not interested. +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaterMan Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Screw cup size. We need pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 the question here is why have you been with her for 2 years if she isn't the one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 (edited) We've been going out 2 years. I really do like her but she doesn't really feel like "the one". On the other hand, we are pretty compatible, and I'm in my mid thirties and not getting any younger. She's putting heat on b/c she wants to know where we're going. I feel like the decision I make now will have huge implications for the rest of my life. I suppose I could smooth it over for now and give myself more time to decide but I don't want to waste my time and hers. Huddlers, I turn to you for your wisdom. These sound like buzz words for this relationship ending. 1. You didnt say you Love her 2. Doesnt feel like the one 3. Mid 30s and not getting any younger sounds like the only reason you would consider staying is that you are at the age that you feel you should be thinking of these things. My best friend is just winding up a divorce and it isnt pretty..You need to feel she is the one or do both of you a favor and end it.. Edited April 6, 2007 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaP'N GRuNGe Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Do you live together? If not, how about trying it to see what married life may be like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Maybe not from you, Block Head. F off Dickhead, if I wanted any shit from you I'd squeeze your head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 (edited) F off Dickhead, if I wanted any shit from you I'd squeeze your head. Why try and find me to squeeze, just squeeze your own... You'd get way more sh1t from your head in one squeeze than anything you'd ever get from mine. Dance monkey dance.... Still can't take a joke huh, Nsab? Is this how you're panties got all up in a bunch? Edited April 6, 2007 by irish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaterMan Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Getting laughed at on an internet message board won't make you any less of a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 (edited) I think after 2 years and being in your 30s (assuming you have had a couple of relationships before this one), if you don't feel like she's the one, time to cut bait. Being afraid of being alone is a reason many people stick with relationships, but it's also a reason many are unhappy and/or get a divorce later down the road. Do both of yourselves a favor and break it off unless you really look deep down and find a great reason to keep it going. Edited April 6, 2007 by TDFFFreak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGrunt Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Getting laughed at on an internet message board won't make you any less of a man. Evidence suggests it can still lower your overall bandwidth appeal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godtomsatan Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 We've been going out 2 years. I really do like her but she doesn't really feel like "the one". On the other hand, we are pretty compatible, and I'm in my mid thirties and not getting any younger. She's putting heat on b/c she wants to know where we're going. I feel like the decision I make now will have huge implications for the rest of my life. I suppose I could smooth it over for now and give myself more time to decide but I don't want to waste my time and hers. Huddlers, I turn to you for your wisdom. So? Where are you guys going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 cut'er loose .......she wants love......a family....security.........all you offer is dibs after lefty.......and no cup size truely shows your insensitivity in these matters.........or are you curious about the opposite sex....... ........some of this is true the other i just thought was funny....good-luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 So? Where are you guys going? to hell in a bucket but at least im enjoying the ride... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 the question here is why have you been with her for 2 years if she isn't the one? Excellent point. At your age, most people are looking for the person they want to settle down with, not someone to 'have fun with'. If after this much time you aren't sure, then it's probably time to cut her loose. If she's ready for marriage, it's not fair to string her along if you aren't ready too. Interestingly, she seems to think you're the one because she's sticking around...do you have trouble making decisions in other facets of your life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Here's the thing... these first couple of years are probably going to be the best and the easiest of the relationship. Think about adding in the stress of house payments, screaming children, family vacations, etc., and then ask yourself if you want her to be the one that you go through all of the hard stuff for. If you're doubting your feelings for her right now, then I would imagine that you will want to run for the hills when you guys would have to go through the really tough times. On the other hand, marriage doesn't have to be about feelings of love all of the time... there are definite benefits to a committed relationship regardless of romance. But I sure wouldn't want to short change myself in that part of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Hang in there! Get married, become even more miserable and enjoy the divorce at 45. Then you can look back at the 10 years of misery like so many others I know that weren't sure but settled. Life's too short. Cut and run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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