bigmike4969 Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) To give some background, my good friend (we'll call him "Don") who I have known my entire life (and works in the same building as me but different companies) introduced me to some guys here at our workplace a while ago who get together once a month for poker. Don is a good guy overall, but when it comes to poker he can be a poor sport. He does not like to lose (no one does, really) and when he is having a bad night he gets visibly upset (like pouting or being short with you) and starts acting like a jerk and makes the rest of the group uncomfortable. So today one of the members of the group asks me if I can play this Friday. I tell him that I can't due to other obligations but he says that he needs to talk to my friend Don about this, because others in the group have spoken up about not wanting to play with Don anymore because of his poor sport attitude. The problem I have is I have known this guy my whole life, and I can always remember him being this way when it comes to sports or gambling. I can tell you of many instances where he and I have gone to the casinos in AC and when he starts losing he starts acting like a jerk and its pretty embarrasing. Even in our circle of friends, when we get together for cards we struggle with inviting him to the game because we know if he is going to have a bad night then he is hard to deal with. But if you ever try to tell this guy that he is acting this way, he gets defensive about it and the situation is worse. So how would you handle it? I feel bad when he is not invited to games but again if you try telling him about it you are asking for more trouble. Edited February 21, 2008 by bigmike4969 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 If he wont listen to your advice that you are giving him as a friend then you have no choice but to not play cards with him anymore. Its easier said then done because you have known him a long time and I am sure he has his good qualities but when it comes to competitive games you will have no choice but to avoid him or an activity that is supposed to be fun loses its luster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 well, if that group does not want to play with him and they tell him it is because of his attitude, then he will get the message. all depends on whether the group will follow through on that or not. if they do, and you know about it, then it is a good lead-in for you to talk to him about it. just a simple, "dude, you get way too riled up at these games so it's not surprising that they don't want to deal with that." until someone calls him on it, he can keep acting that way. if you have known him your whole life and you are good friends, your relationship should be strong enough for you to tell him that he is acting like an ass (in a constructive way). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 I think you just let it play out, with one of the members of this poker group bringing it up to him... it will be embarrassing for him, which is probably exactly what he needs. Don't expect him to change anytime soon though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Footballjoe Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 If you have tried to speak with him about it and he does not listen to what you are trying to tell him then I would not associate with him in the poker / gambling type situations. I would probably attempt one more thime though since you have been friends for such a long time. Try to let him know his actions are having consequences now, i.e no one wanting him in the poker game. Maybe this will help but probably not. Let him know that you can still do other things together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmike4969 Posted February 21, 2008 Author Share Posted February 21, 2008 Some sound advice there so far...thank you. I wish I knew how to do one of those "reply with multiple replies" message, if that makes any sense. I can tell you that, within our close circle of friends (this is outside the once a month poker club), a couple guys have spoken to him about his actions a while ago and he has said he will try to not do those things, but I hear that he still does. To what degree I do not know, but I hear it still happens. It sucks because those times are supposed to be about hanging with your friends and having a good time (and taking their money too ). And when he is coming it's like you have to prepare yourself ahead of time to deal with him if he has a bad night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) Some sound advice there so far...thank you. I wish I knew how to do one of those "reply with multiple replies" message, if that makes any sense. On the bottom of the posts there are 2 options .Quote and reply. For every post you want to reply to just hit the quote button. Once you are done and you go to post all of the posts that you quoted will immediately pop up in your post Edited February 21, 2008 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avernus Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 this is in his emotions...it will be difficult for him to change... you just have to cut him off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Or, you could intentionally lose to him in order to keep the peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmike4969 Posted February 21, 2008 Author Share Posted February 21, 2008 this is in his emotions...it will be difficult for him to change... you just have to cut him off... I agree with that assessment (at least the first sentence). Cutting him off may be difficult to do. BTW I was hoping you would post here so I could get one more look at that avi... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Footballjoe Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Some sound advice there so far...thank you. I wish I knew how to do one of those "reply with multiple replies" message, if that makes any sense. I can tell you that, within our close circle of friends (this is outside the once a month poker club), a couple guys have spoken to him about his actions a while ago and he has said he will try to not do those things, but I hear that he still does. To what degree I do not know, but I hear it still happens. It sucks because those times are supposed to be about hanging with your friends and having a good time (and taking their money too ). And when he is coming it's like you have to prepare yourself ahead of time to deal with him if he has a bad night. Maybe he needs some professional help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 We play with a guy like this. He's a plumber in business for himself and is proud he just got his truck painted with a guy showing his asscrack, but that's beside the point. Anyways, the guy is a hugh calling station and blows up no matter if you had the best hand the whole way, but let you draw out on him and you can watch his blood pressure boil right in front of you. Last month, I had K-8 offsuit. Flop comes 10-J-Q rainbow. I bet, he calls. The turn comes a blank, I check...he checks. Helllo free card. Ace. Boom. I move all-in. Now, you'd think he might figure out I've got a king, but nooooooo, he calls me with Q-10. I don't know what the check on the turn was. I probably never move all-in on anyone on the river and instead try to value-bet, but the guy is a calling station supreme. I think that hand took a few months off the back end of his life. We're thinking about not inviting him back for fear he'll drop dead if he ever suffers a truly horrible beat. That, and he's scared alot of players away. He's a bad player combined with a bad attitude. One is fine, the other isn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 He sounds like dead money. I'd make sure he's in the game every week. Be sure to bring your iPod to the game and turn it WAY up. I don't play poker without mine any more. . .EVER. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 you have to cut him out or you will start losing solid players who dont want to play with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlanta Cracker Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Why don't you two go to lunch sometime and bring it up then outside of the heat of the moment. Explain how his actions come across and affect the group. I'm sure he's just seeing it as he's having a bad night and not realizing the extent to which it makes everyone else have a bad night. Let him know that it's to the point that the group doesn't really want him around any more and that if it doesn't change he likely won't get any more invites. Even after all this he probably won't change. I have a good friend that I can hardly gamble with because if he's winning then he expects everyone to be happy and if he's losing all he does it talk about how unfair it is that everyone else is having better luck than him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Next time he gets pissy, just go into Tombstone mode... bitch-slap him a couple of times and tell him to skin that smokewagon and see what happens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Next time he gets pissy, just go into Tombstone mode... bitch-slap him a couple of times and tell him to skin that smokewagon and see what happens! Once again, beaten to the punch by Savage. Story of my freaking life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avernus Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Next time he gets pissy, just go into Tombstone mode... bitch-slap him a couple of times and tell him to skin that smokewagon and see what happens! "WHY DON, WE CROSS?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefjay Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Sounds like my bro. When his team is winning he's the funnest guy to be around but when something is not going his way like his team losing then watch out. I struggle with this too. Very bi-polar in this area if that's a proper term to use in this instance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 If he truly is a good friend then just tell him he's being a jerk and he needs to calm down. Maybe it's just my friends but if someone is being a whiney little bitch or an ass we let them know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 He's being empowered: as long as he's invited he'll act that way. Let him know there are games being played that he isn't being invited to for the reasons you call out (you have nothing to do with the invites) and that's the only way he gets the message - if at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 On the bottom of the posts there are 2 options .Quote and reply. For every post you want to reply to just hit the quote button. Once you are done and you go to post all of the posts that you quoted will immediately pop up in your post Well I'll be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Well I'll be. Yeah, you know when whomper is giving you computer advice, you gotta feel like a complete doofus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 I have a good friend who I refuse to play poker with anymore. It's funny how people can become asscakes in a particular situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 We play with a guy like this. He's a plumber in business for himself and is proud he just got his truck painted with a guy showing his asscrack... hugh:pantstight:hugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.