detlef Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 I asked what should be done, and you went on and on about how what was done was wrong. What should have been done? I like the idea of making him run laps around the field or something but ultimately, I'd defer to someone who understands these things. More than what, specifically, should be done, it's a matter of when it should be done. When the kid acts out, you deal with it. And I don't think public embarrassment involving the entire class vs one should be the answer. Again, that reeks of getting even, not teaching. I would like to think that our teachers can rise above a 10 year old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 I will say that if the teacher actually did create the scenario that Czar described, how much trust does the child now have for his teacher? At the age of 10, believe it or not, there is an excellent chance that this kid interprets what happened to him as a form of rejection. And if he is starved for attention, I'm betting it's not the first time some important person in his life has done so. hopefully another teacher will see what is going on with this kid and make school a fun experience for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 (edited) I like the idea of making him run laps around the field or something but ultimately, I'd defer to someone who understands these things. More than what, specifically, should be done, it's a matter of when it should be done. When the kid acts out, you deal with it. And I don't think public embarrassment involving the entire class vs one should be the answer. Again, that reeks of getting even, not teaching. I would like to think that our teachers can rise above a 10 year old. I see your point, and you are probably right. I just know there are so many students that don't want to be in school, who's parents simply don't give a crap, that continually disrupt class for the good kids. For whatever reason, the schools are afraid to discipline these kids in any major way. They may take them out of the class for a day or even a week, but then they are put right back in the same class to continue to disrupt every one that is actually there trying to learn. It has to be frustrating to teachers. While what the guy did probably wasn't the best thing to do, I can certainly understand what drove him to do it. Edited September 22, 2009 by Perchoutofwater Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpwallace49 Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Does your lip hurt, cause you just hit that bait HARD.... Damn it . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millerx Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I will say that if the teacher actually did create the scenario that Czar described, how much trust does the child now have for his teacher? At the age of 10, believe it or not, there is an excellent chance that this kid interprets what happened to him as a form of rejection. And if he is starved for attention, I'm betting it's not the first time some important person in his life has done so. +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelBunz Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I see your point, and you are probably right. I just know there are so many students that don't want to be in school, who's parents simply don't give a crap, that continually disrupt class for the good kids. For whatever reason, the schools are afraid to discipline these kids in any major way. They may take them out of the class for a day or even a week, but then they are put right back in the same class to continue to disrupt every one that is actually there trying to learn. It has to be frustrating to teachers. While what the guy did probably wasn't the best thing to do, I can certainly understand what drove him to do it. Maybe...but the most troubling part of this story for me is the teacher involving the rest of the class to "teach this kid about being disrespected." Aside from the emotional damage that might have been done to this child by this incident...what the heck was he teaching the rest of the class by having them act out, disrespect and alienate this child on purpose? And again...you can teach your children how they should act...doesn't mean they always will act that way out of your line of fire. It's probably a best bet to say they will never get it 100% right. Maybe the parents don't even know there is a problem. They can only really know what the child or the school system tells them. Just because your child is a "perfect angel" at home doesn't mean they are perfect angels on the playground. Or in school. Or at the neighbor's birthday party. If it was that bad, I'm thinking a private sitdown with the child and the parents would have been a better option. JMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 OK, I should have said that these kids are beginning 5th graders...still 10 years old, however. So last night, my son is in tears. While nobody has made an example of him in class, his teacher's style is "you're on your own". Alex is feeling a little lost in terms of keeping his stuff organized, knowing where stuff is and where it goes. I had to tell him straight out, "Your teacher will not help you with this." There's another boy in class who's immature and silly, a typical late bloomer type kid. Not a bad kid but a bit of a PITA. Again, I had to tell Alex, "Your teacher will not help you with this, but neither is it your responsibility to make hime (the kid) behave." I hate having to tell a kid that. I really don't want my son's hand held. At this age I want him to be more responsible...but this Lord of the Flies crap isn't going to wash with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westvirginia Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 OK, I should have said that these kids are beginning 5th graders...still 10 years old, however. So last night, my son is in tears. While nobody has made an example of him in class, his teacher's style is "you're on your own". Alex is feeling a little lost in terms of keeping his stuff organized, knowing where stuff is and where it goes. I had to tell him straight out, "Your teacher will not help you with this." There's another boy in class who's immature and silly, a typical late bloomer type kid. Not a bad kid but a bit of a PITA. Again, I had to tell Alex, "Your teacher will not help you with this, but neither is it your responsibility to make hime (the kid) behave." I hate having to tell a kid that. I really don't want my son's hand held. At this age I want him to be more responsible...but this Lord of the Flies crap isn't going to wash with me. You and I must read the same books. My oldest (9) is very nearly a perfect angel. She will have meltdowns when she doesn't get something and it frustrates her, but we've used the "I'm not helping you when you're in this condition. I understand your frustrated but screaming and crying isn't helping. I'll help you when you calm down" approach, and it seems to be working. The 7 y/o, however, is hell on wheels. On the one hand, I won't stifle that exuberance because I really want her to believe there's nothing she can't do. She's my biker buddy (very short trips on little side roads only at this point), she loves to shoot and is up my butt when I'm working on something (truck, bike, house, whatever). On the other hand, we teach her she has to respect others and if we weren't there, the only way she'd respect her older sister is when she walloped her, and that isn't appropriate. They have chores for which they are responsible. We remind them, but don't mollycoddle. To us it's a part of teaching that actions have consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I teach 10 year olds, 4th grade. That "joke" was foolish and idiotic. That teacher was acting like a 10 year old him/her self. I would NEVER DREAM of doing something like that do one of my students, ever. That incident will be something that child will NEVER forget. There were SO MANY better ways to have taught that child the true value of being respectful to others. No doubt. Humiliating a 10 yr old in front of their peers to the point of bringing him to tears is not cool at all & guaranteed something that kid will carry with him the rest of his life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Just because your child is a "perfect angel" at home doesn't mean they are perfect angels on the playground. Or in school. Or at the neighbor's birthday party. I I wish more parents understood this. sometimes I think every parent should have to teach or manage a class at least 3 days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REZ Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I would have major problems if somebody pulled this on one of my kids. I don't mollycoddle or whatever it was somebody said but kids don't always do the right thing. Some of them it takes awhile to figure out how to act in class/social settings. There is a whole lot of stuff that should/could be done instead of humiliating a 10 year old in front of all the other students. Way to alienate the kid there teach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I can't imagnie any scenario where my daughter's behavior would require that type of punishment/correction for a whole host of reasons which would include Mom and Dad not tolerating it. Having said that, any intentional act designed to embarass and make either of my daughters cry (even if they deserve it) will result in me throwing yer a$$ through a window. If we are in the middle of a field, I'll call a time out, have Lowes bring a window down to the field then throw yer a$$ through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpwallace49 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I can't imagnie any scenario where my daughter's behavior would require that type of punishment/correction for a whole host of reasons which would include Mom and Dad not tolerating it. Having said that, any intentional act designed to embarass and make either of my daughters cry (even if they deserve it) will result in me throwing yer a$$ through a window. If we are in the middle of a field, I'll call a time out, have Lowes bring a window down to the field then throw yer a$$ through it. + 1,000,000 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 Follow up question: Do I do anything about this? I really hesitate to draw a target on my own son's back and I fear this is what it would do. This guy is surprisingly old school: He's got a chart on the wall where he records the kids' scores on a weekly timed multiplication test. An acquaintance of mine referred to it as the "weekly humiliation chart." Thank God my kid is solid with his math facts, he's down to 3 minutes for 100 questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Follow up question: Do I do anything about this? I really hesitate to draw a target on my own son's back and I fear this is what it would do. This guy is surprisingly old school: He's got a chart on the wall where he records the kids' scores on a weekly timed multiplication test. An acquaintance of mine referred to it as the "weekly humiliation chart." Thank God my kid is solid with his math facts, he's down to 3 minutes for 100 questions. If this is actually a true fear, then the guy is a nutcase and absolutely needs to be called on his crap. This is not the freaking army, this is elementary school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 If this is actually a true fear, then the guy is a nutcase and absolutely needs to be called on his crap. This is not the freaking army, this is elementary school. Maybe Czar could call the school anonymously and explain why she feels the need to call in anonymously. But Czar, aren't you a teacher? Or am I wrong? If so, are you not a mandated reported where you can call in an abuse report to the state anonymously? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Maybe Czar could call the school anonymously and explain why she feels the need to call in anonymously. But Czar, aren't you a teacher? Or am I wrong? If so, are you not a mandated reported where you can call in an abuse report to the state anonymously? abuse???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Maybe Czar could call the school anonymously and explain why she feels the need to call in anonymously. But Czar, aren't you a teacher? Or am I wrong? If so, are you not a mandated reported where you can call in an abuse report to the state anonymously? school counselor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 (edited) abuse???? Look, I don't usually call names and so I won't. Would I consider what the teacher did emotional abuse? Yes I would. Would Dept of Children and Families call this abuse? Probably not. However, as a mandated reporter in Florida, I'm legally required to call in any suspected abuse. There is a possibility that a call about this teacher would be screened out and there would be no investigation. There is also a possibility that DCF might investigate and find there was no abuse. However, no teacher or school would like that investigation and that could, perhaps, lead the teacher to think twice before doing something like this again. In addition, if the media got a hold of that story, that would indeed be interesting. Edited September 24, 2009 by untateve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 My school counselng gig from the last year or so went very badly, owing mostly to me wanting to hold my students accountable for their behavior and the administrators letting them off the hook repeatedly. It's a long and sordid story. So I left. I was threatening my family that I would go flip burgers at McDonald's if I had to. Unfortunately, finding another school job was a very hard thing to do this year, what with layoffs all over the place. I was offered a job in the biggest elementary school in the state to work on bringing in a school-wide behavior management plan...a week after I'd accepted something else. Because it was a grant-funded position, I decided I better stay put. So believe it or not, I'm doing corporate level stuff for a health care agency now. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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