policyvote Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I just found out today that one of the owners in my local died on Wednesday. He was 30. Everything about Fantasy Football seems so silly and mocking in the face of this. I'm the "Secretary" of the league, in charge of "official" league communciation. Do I post on the MFL message board, as I often do? Write an email "From the desk of the The Secretary" or "Official League Communique"? None of that makes sense in light of this, in fact, it sounds totally childish and silly. What's even more bizarre is that he won the championship trophy last year, and it's named the [Another Guy] Memorial Trophy--in honor of a former owner who'd moved away. Do we rename the trophy to memoralize the late owner? Do we get rid of the "memorial" concept entirely because the juxtaposition is just too inappropriate? Do we soldier on as usual, as he was a fun-loving guy who never took anything seriously? Cripes. I found out about twenty minutes ago, and I just can't make sense of any of it right now. Don't mean to be a downer, just looking for some advice. Peace policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piratesownninjas Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Wow... This is a tough situation. I would say to post a message on MFL just letting everyone know. I wouldn't say anything about how this would effect the league or anything. Just something so everyone knows what has happened. All of the other stuff can wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Sorry to hear the bad news. Inform the league, rename the trophy in his honor and trudge forward with the league like he would do and would want you to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Itals Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Is this a local where you guys were all friends? I'd try to telephone people about it if they didn't already know, myself. I just found out today that one of the owners in my local died on Wednesday. He was 30. Everything about Fantasy Football seems so silly and mocking in the face of this. I'm the "Secretary" of the league, in charge of "official" league communciation. Do I post on the MFL message board, as I often do? Write an email "From the desk of the The Secretary" or "Official League Communique"? None of that makes sense in light of this, in fact, it sounds totally childish and silly. What's even more bizarre is that he won the championship trophy last year, and it's named the [Another Guy] Memorial Trophy--in honor of a former owner who'd moved away. Do we rename the trophy to memoralize the late owner? Do we get rid of the "memorial" concept entirely because the juxtaposition is just too inappropriate? Do we soldier on as usual, as he was a fun-loving guy who never took anything seriously? Cripes. I found out about twenty minutes ago, and I just can't make sense of any of it right now. Don't mean to be a downer, just looking for some advice. Peace policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hipster Doofus Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Unfortunatly, I have gone through this as well. Five years ago we lost an owner in a car accident. We were in absolute shock. We did nothing to address if from a fantasy perspective. I sent emails to all the other owners letting then know what happened. Don't concern yourself about the FF aspect. Handle it from the human aspect. After about 6 weeks we addressed it as a league. We did rename the championship trophy in honor of our friend. I'm sorry about your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
policyvote Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Wow... This is a tough situation. I would say to post a message on MFL just letting everyone know. I wouldn't say anything about how this would effect the league or anything. Just something so everyone knows what has happened. All of the other stuff can wait. Yeah, I think I'll refrain from mentioning any of the league stuff. Thank you. Peace policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
policyvote Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Sorry to hear the bad news. Inform the league, rename the trophy in his honor and trudge forward with the league like he would do and would want you to do. Thanks man. I think renaming the trophy may be the best way to go . . . though as last season's champion, he still had it. Right now I can't imagine calling his parents and asking if I could come swing by and pick it up. This is all so surreal. Peace policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
policyvote Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Is this a local where you guys were all friends? I'd try to telephone people about it if they didn't already know, myself. Yes and no. I was in a 13-year-running local with him that ended up falling apart three years ago when the original commish moved away (he's the guy the trophy's currently named after). My best friend and I put together new league with a couple of those guys, some of our family members, other friends, etc.--so no, this league just ended it's second season and not everyone was close to him. Still, everyone had met him many times for the various auctions, meeting, etc. Right now I'm trying to track down some of the members of the old league to let them know, and also figure out a way to post/email all the owners in the current league in a respectful, appropriate way. Peace policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alchico Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 We had this happen in my main local just last year. It is really tough to deal with as we are all pretty close and have a live draft every year. Our commish sent out an email notifying everyone and a few days later wrote a great story about the guy, including highlights about his accomplishments from past years. He also included some funny and memorable storys about him. We didn't rename our trophy but did dedicate last season to him. He was partners with another league mate and his old team won the championship this past year, which was pretty kool. You can tie the fantasy angle to the human side of it but wait a few days. For now just mourn your friend and try to concentrate on the good times you all had toghether. My deepest condolences to his family, you and your leaguemates Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
policyvote Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Unfortunatly, I have gone through this as well. Five years ago we lost an owner in a car accident. We were in absolute shock. We did nothing to address if from a fantasy perspective. I sent emails to all the other owners letting then know what happened. Don't concern yourself about the FF aspect. Handle it from the human aspect. After about 6 weeks we addressed it as a league. We did rename the championship trophy in honor of our friend. This sounds like good advice. I think that's the approach I'm going to take. I'm sorry about your loss. Thank you; likewise. Peace policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Thanks man. I think renaming the trophy may be the best way to go . . . though as last season's champion, he still had it. Right now I can't imagine calling his parents and asking if I could come swing by and pick it up. This is all so surreal. Peace policy Yeah getting that trophy back is going to be rough but that doesn't have to happen for awhile. Hell they might even call you to give it back realizing what it's for. League stuff will definitely be put on the back burner. However, when informing the other league owners about his passing, you could throw a line in there about holding off league discussions until later. Saying that will let them know that things will continue on but that this isn't the time for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 So sorry to hear about that policy. No advice here: just condolences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Thanks man. I think renaming the trophy may be the best way to go . . . though as last season's champion, he still had it. Right now I can't imagine calling his parents and asking if I could come swing by and pick it up. This is all so surreal. Peace policy Sorry for the loss. I think it may be better to get a new trophy and name it the memorial trophy for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peepinmofo Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 We just lost a member this past season. He was the brother of our very own Timmypg. His name was Tommy. It was a sad, shocking situation. One of his buddies took over his team for the remainder of last year, and Im not sure the status yet for this year. Sorry for the loss... It sucks to have to read about stuff like that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timmypg Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 As peepin said my brother passed away last off season. He was in 3 dynasty leagues (ran two of them) plus our local (all friends and family & he was commish). His friend took over the dynasty leagues & I took over the local. As for letting people know. His friend posted a very nice message just letting everyone know what happened. He passed away in July so sadly we couldn't put FF on hold that long or we would've held up the leagues. Being that it is only Feb I would let them all know about his death but FF can wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phootballphreak Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Unfortunately, I too can relate to such a sad situation. Two years ago, my best friend and one of the founding members of our league passed away 3 weeks before the draft due to Liver cancer. He was diagonosed with it 3 months before he died and kept it secret from everyone. I found out a month before that he had it from his brother. We did the following. The league drafted and ran his team for the year. Named the Trophy after him and donated all of the league monies that year to the family memorial fund. My deepest condolences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Thanks man. I think renaming the trophy may be the best way to go . . . though as last season's champion, he still had it. Right now I can't imagine calling his parents and asking if I could come swing by and pick it up. Peace policy I dunno, I think that a few weeks down the road, if his parents were informed of what's going on - "hey, we have a little fantasy football league yadda yadda yadda...." - and you let them know that just as a small gesture you were going to name your trophy in honor of him, and that your buddy would probably have gotten a kick out of it, they probably wouldn't be offended, and most likely would think it was a nice thing to do. Obviously, give them some time to grieve before bringing this up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackass Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Sorry for the loss. I think it may be better to get a new trophy and name it the memorial trophy for him. I'd agree about just getting a new trophy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Policy - Dealt with this in a "friends" league a few years ago. It was a more casual league, so we didn't have a trophy or "positions". Only thing I wanted to add - on top of my condolences - would be to suggest you maybe take the league fees and donate the money to charity. Don't want to pry, but perhaps donate the money to a charity linked to how your friend passed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolverines Fan Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I just found out today that one of the owners in my local died on Wednesday. He was 30. Everything about Fantasy Football seems so silly and mocking in the face of this. I'm the "Secretary" of the league, in charge of "official" league communciation. Do I post on the MFL message board, as I often do? Write an email "From the desk of the The Secretary" or "Official League Communique"? None of that makes sense in light of this, in fact, it sounds totally childish and silly. What's even more bizarre is that he won the championship trophy last year, and it's named the [Another Guy] Memorial Trophy--in honor of a former owner who'd moved away. Do we rename the trophy to memoralize the late owner? Do we get rid of the "memorial" concept entirely because the juxtaposition is just too inappropriate? Do we soldier on as usual, as he was a fun-loving guy who never took anything seriously? Cripes. I found out about twenty minutes ago, and I just can't make sense of any of it right now. Don't mean to be a downer, just looking for some advice. Peace policy No advice to offer, since everyone else has beat me to it. Just wanted to say condolences on the loss of your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 (edited) Policy - Dealt with this in a "friends" league a few years ago. It was a more casual league, so we didn't have a trophy or "positions". Only thing I wanted to add - on top of my condolences - would be to suggest you maybe take the league fees and donate the money to charity. Don't want to pry, but perhaps donate the money to a charity linked to how your friend passed. Not a terrible idea but also one in which you should approach (if you were thinking about doing so) with some caution. You're talking about using the monies toward a charity and some may not be in favor and either express so openly or not say anything because they feel pressured and don't want to seem like a jerk. Don't make things more complicated then they need to be. I simple gesture in memory of this individual is fine- naming the trophy after them, making a donation to a charity, etc. but doing them all would be a bit over the top and may make some feel uncomfortable. It may not but you never know. Just thinking. Edited February 23, 2008 by irish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I'd agree about just getting a new trophy I would too but I'd also let his parents know the league wanted them to keep the old trophy as a reminder that their son had a lot of good friends. Then name the new trophy after him and let the parents know that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Not a terrible idea but also one in which you should approach (if you were thinking about doing so) with some caution. You're talking about using the monies toward a charity and some may not be in favor and either express so openly or not say anything because they feel pressured and don't want to seem like a jerk. Don't make things more complicated then they need to be. I simple gesture in memory of this individual is fine- naming the trophy after them, making a donation to a charity, etc. but doing them all would be a bit over the top and may make some feel uncomfortable. It may not but you never know. Just thinking. Wow, you must have some insensitive pr!cks as friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxfactor Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Sorry for the loss. I think it may be better to get a new trophy and name it the memorial trophy for him. +1 I certainly would not feel comfortable asking his parents for the trophy back, no matter how long you wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 (edited) Wow, you must have some insensitive pr!cks as friends. Not at all, I've just learned that you can never speak for anyone else's money regardless of the events that have taken place. Besides, we don't even know how close the guys in this particular league are as they could just know each other from the league and that's it. I've been in very competitive leagues before where I wasn't friends with more than a couple of the guys and most of them I couldn't stand. And if one of the other guys passed away, no doubt I'd feel bad, but I wouldn't neccesarily be willing to part with my money, play for no reward in the end and donate it to charity (as I donate plenty already). I'm not saying this is the case here, we just don't know for sure. If all the guys were cool with it, then it's a fantastic idea. That's all I'm saying Darin, it's not a big deal. Edited February 23, 2008 by irish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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