Funeral processions

[detlef]

OK, I would say this comes at the risk of you guys thinking I'm a heartless pr!ck but I'm rather certain that I've pretty much sealed my fate in that regard.

 

Who gets paid for police escorts for funerals, how much do they get paid, and is there any allowance made for the fact that people who are no way involved or affected by the fact that this dude died somehow get some money love.

 

In other words. At the very least, I sincerely hope that it's simply not part of the job of policemen to stop what they're doing and escort processions through town. Because, quite frankly, I don't want my share of that tax money to be spent on such a useless public display. I'm glad that you want to honor your great uncle but do you have to tie up traffic to do so? Especially if you've got to take some officer off his beat to do so?

 

Today I was running somewhat late and was stuck behind a procession that actually entered the freeway. For about 4-5 miles a bunch of us where held up behind a patrolman weaving back and forth between freeway lanes behind a string of cars rolling along the Durham Freeway. I couldn't get past what a f'ing selfish display of self importance it is to essentially ask a bunch of people who you don't know to drive 30 miles an hour down the freeway so you can make a silly train of cars behind someone who I'm sure matters a whole lot to you but frankly is no more important to me than any of the other billions of people alive on this planet.

 

Trust me. When I die. I suppose I hope those who feel my inclusion in their life was a positive thing stop to reflect on that but I'm sure they damned well know that they'd better not make a big deal of it. And if they make some poor random f'er late for a meeting because of some stupid impromptu "parade" that cost tax payers money and/or takes policemen away from their actual jobs of protecting the public, I'll wish I could rise from my grave and slap them silly.

 

None the less, back to my point. Did my tax money go to paying some cop to make me drive behind him on the damned freeway. I would hope that, provided you wanted to do this, they charged you a crap load so as to offset the costs of running the department and thus, if even barely, lessening the tax burden on the rest of us.

 

Thank you, I'm done.

[chester]

Never seen one on the freeway, but why couldn't they simply take up the right lane?

[detlef]

Never seen one on the freeway, but why couldn't they simply take up the right lane?

They did but the cops still tied up both lanes.

[keggerz]

OK, I would say this comes at the risk of you guys thinking I'm a heartless pr!ck but I'm rather certain that I've pretty much sealed my fate in that regard.

 

Who gets paid for police escorts for funerals, how much do they get paid, and is there any allowance made for the fact that people who are no way involved or affected by the fact that this dude died somehow get some money love.

 

In other words. At the very least, I sincerely hope that it's simply not part of the job of policemen to stop what they're doing and escort processions through town. Because, quite frankly, I don't want my share of that tax money to be spent on such a useless public display. I'm glad that you want to honor your great uncle but do you have to tie up traffic to do so? Especially if you've got to take some officer off his beat to do so?

 

Today I was running somewhat late and was stuck behind a procession that actually entered the freeway. For about 4-5 miles a bunch of us where held up behind a patrolman weaving back and forth between freeway lanes behind a string of cars rolling along the Durham Freeway. I couldn't get past what a f'ing selfish display of self importance it is to essentially ask a bunch of people who you don't know to drive 30 miles an hour down the freeway so you can make a silly train of cars behind someone who I'm sure matters a whole lot to you but frankly is no more important to me than any of the other billions of people alive on this planet.

 

Trust me. When I die. I suppose I hope those who feel my inclusion in their life was a positive thing stop to reflect on that but I'm sure they damned well know that they'd better not make a big deal of it. And if they make some poor random f'er late for a meeting because of some stupid impromptu "parade" that cost tax payers money and/or takes policemen away from their actual jobs of protecting the public, I'll wish I could rise from my grave and slap them silly.

 

None the less, back to my point. Did my tax money go to paying some cop to make me drive behind him on the damned freeway. I would hope that, provided you wanted to do this, they charged you a crap load so as to offset the costs of running the department and thus, if even barely, lessening the tax burden on the rest of us.

Thank you, I'm done.

You said it

[Chief Dick]

In KC the motorcycle cops are hired by the funeral homes. And they stop traffic out of respect for the dead.

[Footballjoe]

The Funeral Home hires the Police Escort but it cost the family. You could opt not to have one if you wish. My wife works for a Funeral home but she is not home right now. One of the benefits is I can get buried for FREE.

[detlef]

In KC the motorcycle cops are hired by the funeral homes. And they stop traffic out of respect for the dead.

OK, so wait a minute. Can I hire away public servants to help me co-opt public facilities? Say I want to honor the living. I think my mortgage broker got me a great deal. So I'd like to pay a Durham cop to stop traffic to allow him a more pleasurable commute. Is that cool?

 

Listen, don't make this about disrespecting the dead because that's not the case at all. If you need to tell a bunch of strangers to stop what they're doing in order to honor the death of someone important to you, that's your issue, not mine. That's not respect, that's grandstanding on behalf of someone who I'd guess, or at least hope, would want no part of it.

Edited September 10, 2008 by detlef

[westvirginia]

OK, so wait a minute. Can I hire away public servants to help me co-opt public facilities? Say I want to honor the living. I think my mortgage broker got me a great deal. So I'd like to pay a Durham cop to stop traffic to allow him a more pleasurable commute. Is that cool?

 

Listen, don't make this about disrespecting the dead because that's not the case at all. If you need to tell a bunch of strangers to stop what they're doing in order to honor the death of someone important to you, that's your issue, not mine. That's not respect, that's grandstanding on behalf of someone who I'd guess, or at least hope, would want no part of it.

 

 

I know you're drunk and won't remember this tomorrow - but you now understand the very nature of government.

Edited September 10, 2008 by westvirginia

[Egret]

Wow.

[Skippy]

Around Pittsburgh the only time that there are police escorts are when the funeral is very large. In that case the police on motorcycles are doing their jobs and keeping traffic going. This is the main job of the motorcycle cops in Pittsburgh as they are known as the traffic division. I don't know if they could be hired for someone that wanted their service as they use Pittsburgh equipment, (motorcycle and police cars), so really I think that paying them in our area is a non issue.

[detlef]

Around Pittsburgh the only time that there are police escorts are when the funeral is very large. In that case the police on motorcycles are doing their jobs and keeping traffic going. This is the main job of the motorcycle cops in Pittsburgh as they are known as the traffic division. I don't know if they could be hired for someone that wanted their service as they use Pittsburgh equipment, (motorcycle and police cars), so really I think that paying them in our area is a non issue.

Sounds good to me

[fingfootball]

In our county you can hire the Deputy Sheriff's to do any kind of security job's you want. And the Sheriff lets them use their uniform and cars for their moonlighting jobs.

[detlef]

Wow.

Oh boo hoo, sorry to offend you. Hell, why stop at a procession. Why not pay Ocho Cinco to one-up Joe Horn and bust a Ouija board out at the back of the endzone (provided he actually scores this year) and channel uncle Buck. C’mon man, where’s the love? Processions are so tired.

 

Let’s call it what it is, institutionalized religion. See, your religion says I need to stop what I’m doing to honor your uncle. Well, guess what? Maybe there are those of us who just see life as a cycle, where the day you die is no different than the rest. It’s just the day your heart stopped beating. Maybe there are those who don’t think humans are the be-all end-all that most religions make us out to be. My dogs both have purer hearts than anyone I know, and I know some good people. Maybe when one of them dies, I want to put them in the back of a wagon and walk down the middle of the freeway. Of course, that makes me a nut job because dogs are soulless creatures who don’t go to heaven, right?

 

Thing is, the only difference between a nut job pulling his dog in a wagon and a bunch of good church going people in a funeral procession is a bunch of money and a few thousand years of practice.

[wiegie]

On the good side of things, at least Detlef can rest assured that no such lengthy procession will occur at his passing.

 

:oldrazz:

[Egret]

Oh boo hoo, sorry to offend you. Hell, why stop at a procession. Why not pay Ocho Cinco to one-up Joe Horn and bust a Ouija board out at the back of the endzone (provided he actually scores this year) and channel uncle Buck. C’mon man, where’s the love? Processions are so tired.

 

Let’s call it what it is, institutionalized religion. See, your religion says I need to stop what I’m doing to honor your uncle. Well, guess what? Maybe there are those of us who just see life as a cycle, where the day you die is no different than the rest. It’s just the day your heart stopped beating. Maybe there are those who don’t think humans are the be-all end-all that most religions make us out to be. My dogs both have purer hearts than anyone I know, and I know some good people. Maybe when one of them dies, I want to put them in the back of a wagon and walk down the middle of the freeway. Of course, that makes me a nut job because dogs are soulless creatures who don’t go to heaven, right?

 

Thing is, the only difference between a nut job pulling his dog in a wagon and a bunch of good church going people in a funeral procession is a bunch of money and a few thousand years of practice.

Is it nice to go through life without compassion?

[untateve]

I may vote for this as Thread of the Year.

[Puddy]

Still pissed about that Favre/Edge trade for Lynch huh?

[whomper]

Does the police escort bother you or the procession itself ? If its the procession in some cases it is unavoidable. It is the people leaving the funeral parlor and heading to the cemetary. They all leave as a group and a lot of them are probably out of towners so they all just follow each other over. It also insures everyone arrives at the same time so the ceremony is prompt.

[detlef]

Does the police escort bother you or the procession itself ? If its the procession in some cases it is unavoidable. It is the people leaving the funeral parlor and heading to the cemetary. They all leave as a group and a lot of them are probably out of towners so they all just follow each other over. It also insures everyone arrives at the same time so the ceremony is prompt.

I'm cool with a bunch of people following each other so nobody gets lost on the way to their ceremony. This whole thing started because I thought it was lame that an entire freeway was closed down because some people seemingly define compassion and honoring the deceased with having complete strangers drive slowly behind their parade of death for 4-5 miles. Well, actually I learned that was the definition of compassion thing from Egret.

 

Then, because I was buzzed, it morphed into a rant on yet another way one particular cult doesn't seem to mind defining how everyone should honor the dead.

Edited September 11, 2008 by detlef

[Puddy]

Then, because I was buzzed, it morphed into a rant on yet another way one particular cult doesn't seem to mind defining how everyone should honor the dead.

Buzzed posting is drunk posting.

[Footballjoe]

Buzzed posting is drunk posting.

 

Maybe you need a breathalizer for your computer.

[detlef]

So, three siblings gathered around their loving fathers bed just after he peacefully passed on. Each reflecting on what a kind and great man he was. One of them mindlessly reached into their coat pocket and, to their surprise, found a $100 bill? "What the..." The others saw what had happened and reached into theirs. Astonished, they each found the same and looked at each other and then their father, now enjoying his final rest, with amazement. See, every year on their birthdays, dad always managed to slip some money into their coat pocket. When they were younger and times were a bit more lean, it was usually just a few bucks. Over the years, it was more. Of course, the amount never mattered, it was really more of a game than anything for these four.

 

"But how?"

 

The old trickster obviously had one more up his sleeve as mom, the partner in crime it turns out, stood behind the kids with a wry smile. He must have put her up to this.

 

"Wow, said the youngest. Well, I want to spend this money on dad, to show him how much we love him. You know how much he loved his beagle. Whadda ya say we donate this money to beagle rescue?"

 

"That's a great idea, but how 'bout this?" said the next oldest. "Let's go buy a beautiful maple tree and plant it in the back yard of mom and dad's home. It will stand as a living memory of our dear father for decades and decades to come."

 

"You two, what great ideas those are. But I think we can do better," said the oldest. "I think we should pay a few cops to shut down the highway for a few miles and drive dad's corpse slowly down the road. Then the random few people who happened to get stuck in the ensuing traffic jam will think our dad is more important than the countless other people who also died at the same time. Mind you, they'll have no idea who he is any more than those who are being honored in a manner that doesn't impact their lives at all. But it will really give dad the send off he deserves."

 

You could see the tears well up in the eyes of everyone. "Gee Biff, you always had a knack for coming up with just the right idea. I think dad's going to be OK up there."

[Kid Cid]

That above post right there is pure gold.

 

And yes, I happen to agree that the whole police escort thing is an ostentatious display.

[Azazello1313]

So, three siblings gathered around their loving fathers bed just after he peacefully passed on. Each reflecting on what a kind and great man he was. One of them mindlessly reached into their coat pocket and, to their surprise, found a $100 bill? "What the..." The others saw what had happened and reached into theirs. Astonished, they each found the same and looked at each other and then their father, now enjoying his final rest, with amazement. See, every year on their birthdays, dad always managed to slip some money into their coat pocket. When they were younger and times were a bit more lean, it was usually just a few bucks. Over the years, it was more. Of course, the amount never mattered, it was really more of a game than anything for these four.

 

"But how?"

 

The old trickster obviously had one more up his sleeve as mom, the partner in crime it turns out, stood behind the kids with a wry smile. He must have put her up to this.

 

"Wow, said the youngest. Well, I want to spend this money on dad, to show him how much we love him. You know how much he loved his beagle. Whadda ya say we donate this money to beagle rescue?"

 

"That's a great idea, but how 'bout this?" said the next oldest. "Let's go buy a beautiful maple tree and plant it in the back yard of mom and dad's home. It will stand as a living memory of our dear father for decades and decades to come."

 

"You two, what great ideas those are. But I think we can do better," said the oldest. "I think we should pay a few cops to shut down the highway for a few miles and drive dad's corpse slowly down the road. Then the random few people who happened to get stuck in the ensuing traffic jam will think our dad is more important than the countless other people who also died at the same time. Mind you, they'll have no idea who he is any more than those who are being honored in a manner that doesn't impact their lives at all. But it will really give dad the send off he deserves."

 

You could see the tears well up in the eyes of everyone. "Gee Biff, you always had a knack for coming up with just the right idea. I think dad's going to be OK up there."

 

funny, but I don't think anyone does a funeral procession just for the sake of driving around and imposing their cult on your very tender sensibilities. I think they do it because the funeral service is in one place, the burial is in another, and they want to get people from one place to another without anybody getting lost or being distracted by driving.

[Codwagon]

On the good side of things, at least Detlef can rest assured that no such lengthy procession will occur at his passing.

 

:oldrazz:

 

 

True, but his wife trying to drag his coffin and manage the dogs will probably tie up traffic like a motherf'er.