T_bone65 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Try NC. The freaking bible smashers out here require you to separate for a full year before you can divorce. Which of course, makes this BS all the more likely to happen. If either partner is freaking nutso, you've got to stay married, and thus share ownership of everything for a damned year before what's yours is yours. All in the name of protecting the sanctity of what is basically a legal arrangement between adults about sharing assets. Yet another reason why we need to separate government from marriage. Let the churches define marriages and let the government oversee civil unions. Problem solved. If your effed up church wont let you out of your marriage, that's their problem. At least you can make sure chicky doesn't thrash your chight. Maryland has the same 1 year separation law, there are ways around it though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEC=UGA Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Maryland has the same 1 year separation law, there are ways around it though. Punch her in the grill about 5 times? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 You are in my prayers. I know it sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Punch her in the grill about 5 times? Theres always that, or just have a "witness" that says you have lived apart for a year and is willing to sign papers on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEC=UGA Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Theres always that, or just have a "witness" that says you have lived apart for a year and is willing to sign papers on it. That could potentially set your buddy up for a perjury charge. I'm sticking with the punching Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 That could potentially set your buddy up for a perjury charge. I'm sticking with the punching My divorce was amicable and my ex and I didn't even go to court with a 7 year old child. Not saying it is for everyone but hey it worked for us and saved us a ton of $$$. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEC=UGA Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 (edited) My divorce was amicable and my ex and I didn't even go to court with a 7 year old child. Not saying it is for everyone but hey it worked for us and saved us a ton of $$$. Fortunately, I haven't had to experience it yet and may have been attempting to add a little bit too much levity to the post. I do not condone punching women, unless of course they are wearing a tobacco and beer stained tank top and outweigh me by 50+ pounds. I can't imagine what a struggle it would be going through a divorce and really don't ever want to experience it first hand. ETA: Or if they are wearing a University of Florida anything, those wimmen are scary psycho redneck women and will cut you if you turn your back on them. It is actually wise to punch any woman, no matter how cute, that you see wearing any University of Florida apparel. Edited June 21, 2010 by SEC=UGA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpwallace49 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Hopefully now you can have some closure and move on. I am sorry your child had to be put through this as well. Divorce is never "fun" and erratic behavior by your ex will just make it harder on your child. Best of luck for your next chapter in life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 ETA: Or if they are wearing a University of Florida anything, those wimmen are scary psycho redneck women and will cut you if you turn your back on them. It is actually wise to punch any woman, no matter how cute, that you see wearing any University of Florida apparel. Interesting. I knew that UGA men were afraid of the Gators, particularly when it came to sporting competition. I had no idea that the UGA men were also afraid of the Gator women as well. That explains quite a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Marriage is one of the worst financial contracts a man could ever enter into. If you spelled it out like a loan document, you'd never go for it. Cyclones, I coulda had her killed for $3.00....$2.00 if I can keep the body. In fairness, my wife and I have certainly taken turns during the 10 years we've been married in terms of who's been getting the better end of the deal financially. She had more savings (and better credit) than I did when we got married and both went a long way in terms of getting us into our first house, even though I was out earning her for the first few years of our marriage. Then, she got a great job and started earning enough to afford me the luxury of quitting mine and starting a business. Now, she's been laid off for a bit over a year and it is I who is carrying the weight. So, even without the other, groovier elements of our union, it has certainly been a very fair, solid, and mutually beneficial financial association. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEC=UGA Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Interesting. I knew that UGA men were afraid of the Gators, particularly when it came to sporting competition. I had no idea that the UGA men were also afraid of the Gator women as well. That explains quite a bit. We are, deathly afraid, crabs are a bitch to get rid of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 We are, deathly afraid, crabs are a bitch to get rid of. Your post implies that a UF woman might condescend to sleep with a UGA 'man.' If you cannot keep our debate based in reality, it will be difficult for me to take you seriously. Kind of like my view of UGA athletics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljbrun Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 (edited) Sorry to hear about your situation. Who knows? Maybe you did something to bring this out of her. Maybe not. However, it doesn't matter anymore. You're divorced and there's a child involved and there needs to be focus on the child's needs, not her need for her pound of flesh. I would suggest, if you haven't already, that you try to get her to go to counseling with you (and probably on her own as well) so that the 2 of you can do what's best for your child. It's not the kid's fault you got divorced and he doesn't deserve to suffer for it. If it's difficult to talk to her without things getting contentious, then go through the legal system. Also, it's possible that putting the focus on the child will take some of her energy away from her feelings for you. Good luck! Edited June 21, 2010 by ljbrun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 I'd like to say it's over but a friend of mine is still going through court 3 years later because his crazy ass ex still thinks she deserves more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 I have no experience with a crazy stalking ex-wife, but I just want to convey my congratulations on finally being divorced!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 (edited) My divorce was amicable and my ex and I didn't even go to court with a 7 year old child. Not saying it is for everyone but hey it worked for us and saved us a ton of $$$. On a serious note, how were you able to work everything out without lawyers and courts? How did you decide on who gets what, including time with your 7-year old? Did you have to sell a place of residence and split things? Either way, sounds like you were being level-headed and so was your ex. Two good people who just realized it wasn't working. Nice! ETA: Congrats on finalizing things Cyclones. Edited June 21, 2010 by irish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 On a serious note, how were you able to work everything out without lawyers and courts? How did you decide on who gets what, including time with your 7-year old? Did you have to sell a place of residence and split things? Either way, sounds like you were being level-headed and so was your ex. Two good people who just realized it wasn't working. Nice! ETA: Congrats on finalizing things Cyclones. We just agreed we would take what we came with and split everything we gained while married. She stayed home a good bit of the time so I split what we had in retirement and we did sell our townhouse. We split all of our bills, actually went through consumer credit consuling and paid everything off in 2 years. As far as child support we used the Maryland state forumla and I sent her a check every 2 weeks for 11 years, she always had the option of going through court if I didn't pay. As far as custody he stayed with her most of the time but I had him all summer, christmas break and winter break along with some weekends, they moved to upstate NY so we would meet half way. Now he is 19 almost 20 and has lived here since he was 18. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electricrelish Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 (edited) Marriage is one of the worst financial contracts a man could ever enter into. If you spelled it out like a loan document, you'd never go for it. Cyclones, I coulda had her killed for $3.00....$2.00 if I can keep the body. I'm so happy that there are smart people on this board. It's extremely refreshing to read this thread. I have nothing against marriage, For those that have got a great marriage, that's awesome, I just think it's a bad financial deal and way too risky. If someone wants to be with you, they are going to be with you whether you put a ring on it or not. A couple's love doesn't need to be validated by the state or church. It astounds me when your read about folks like Charlie Sheen, who had all those marriage problems with Denise Richards. Not that he wasn't partially to blame, but I was shocked that his dumb-ass went and got married again. He didn't learn his lesson the first time. The thing about marriage is you never know when one day your spouse is going to flip on you. When that happens, it's amazing how vulnerable you are by being married. It's an awful position to be in. You can't just walk away. Stay single. Don't ever make that mistake again. Ask dumb-ass Larry King. It's too late to ask Dennis Hopper. Edited June 22, 2010 by electricrelish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Neutron Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Wow. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 (edited) That Judge needs to be shot (NOTE: I do not condone the shooting of the judge, that was simply me turning a phrase). aw cmon. Anyway he has plenty of company. I know a guy who's wife cheated on him, didn't want the house because she wanted to move - uhhh wherever, she didn't know (her words in court) - and didn't have a full-time job (because she'd been living off of his hard work). And their only child was closer to him than her. She won custody, not to mention enough monthly dough that she could "get by" on his salary. Why? Because "she's the mother." No sexism there. This guy made Judge Ito look intelligent. And I don't get the impression it's all that rare. PS this is Virginia FYI. Too bad he wasn't a popular college athlete, then he could've probably hosed her down and electrocuted her and the judge'd be cool w/it. Edited June 22, 2010 by BeeR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 don't have time to read through the entire thread - especially since it got blemished by moneytwatters - but man... that's a nasty situation... any chance you'd consider a complete change of location and uhh... name change? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Sounds like someone needs a restraining order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorcher Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 (edited) After a bitter 22 month separation that included, among other things from the wife: Ketchup and Hershey's syrup in my car Calls to my boss Calls to my boss's boss Outright theft of money Being stalked around town and confronted at bars/restaurants Endless calls and text messages with threats Half my wardrobe burnt My divorce was finally finalized on Friday. Anyone with experience in this realm? Any chance the ex calms down now that its officially over? I should note that she hasnt worked in 10 years (we were married for 14) and she got a VERY handsome settlement in the divorce - basically the equivalent of a 60k a year job for the next 5 years, so financially she doesnt have anything to complain about in my opinion. Your ex-wife is a perfect example of the quote; " There is a fine line between love and hate." Edited June 22, 2010 by Scorcher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorcher Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Called the police three times in the last few months. The judge would not issue an EPO since no actual domestic violence occurred. I tried getting money back for my clothes, etc, but the judge said as long as we were still married the property was all half hers and she could do what she pleased with it. Just a huge mess. I'm glad its finally official. I'm hoping that will calm her down. We have an 8 year old son and he's had to endure alot of the madness. Your 8 year old son should be your biggest concern. I hope for his sake that he was not a witness to the things you and your wife have been doing to each other. It sounds like she is probably ripping you to him. I hope you have the wherewith all to consider your son and not badger him with your feelings about her. The greatest "asset" from your marriage is your son and I hope you will treasure him and think about the unfortunate position he is in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donutrun Jellies Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Your 8 year old son should be your biggest concern. I hope for his sake that he was not a witness to the things you and your wife have been doing to each other. It sounds like she is probably ripping you to him. I hope you have the wherewith all to consider your son and not badger him with your feelings about her. The greatest "asset" from your marriage is your son and I hope you will treasure him and think about the unfortunate position he is in. +1 ... that's the only thing to see in any of this. Set aside your differences and your own pain and raise him well, together. Your common love for him will make it work if you allow it to. All the best with raising him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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