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What does your wife do...


detlef
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Whenever we have a discussion (re: argument) about something, and I know for a fact that the point she is arguing is incorrect, it typically gets to where I have to prove it to her to show her she's incorrect. For instance, we were watching Criminal Minds the other night, and she said "What's that guy (Joe Mantegna) doing on the show? He was replaced by the bald guy (Mandy Patinkin)". Now, I know she's wrong, since she's confusing re-runs she has seen on ION.

 

Well we go back and forth, and I finally pull up our DVR to show here a brand new episode from Wednesday night....and Mantegna's in the first scene. So I look at her, and I can tell she's fuming.

 

Me: "Why are you so mad?"

her: "There you go again, always feeling so insecure that you have prove you are right".

 

:wacko: basically, the definition of lose-lose for me.

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Whenever we have a discussion (re: argument) about something, and I know for a fact that the point she is arguing is incorrect, it typically gets to where I have to prove it to her to show her she's incorrect. For instance, we were watching Criminal Minds the other night, and she said "What's that guy (Joe Mantegna) doing on the show? He was replaced by the bald guy (Mandy Patinkin)". Now, I know she's wrong, since she's confusing re-runs she has seen on ION.

 

Well we go back and forth, and I finally pull up our DVR to show here a brand new episode from Wednesday night....and Mantegna's in the first scene. So I look at her, and I can tell she's fuming.

 

Me: "Why are you so mad?"

her: "There you go again, always feeling so insecure that you have prove you are right".

 

:wacko: basically, the definition of lose-lose for me.

 

Caveat of Life: It is impossible to ever win an argument with a woman.

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Everytime I drive someplace with my girl is like the first time. She's always like,"I didn't know we could get home from this street!" and I'm like, "well, we've only taken this way home about a hundred times dear. "

 

She has NO sense of direction or even an inkling of what space she happens to be occupying on the planet. Frustrating and endearing at the same time. :wacko:

We've lived in Durham for 9 years now and I still get the phone calls about how to get somewhere. A place that I'm certain we've been to 100s of times and can't be more than 3-4 miles from our house. I think it's because she's just gotten used to me always knowing how to get wherever we're going, so she simply doesn't bother at all.

 

In fairness, I've always been better in this regard and my first job here was in out-side sales, so I spent all day, every day, driving around to various clients. So, by the time I left that job, it was hopeless because I'd take these back routes and she had no flipping idea, at all, where we were until, lo and behold, we're turning on to our street or something.

 

But still, it's staggering.

 

The funny thing is, when she's driving and I'm in the car, she gets super self-conscious about it, so I try to just shut up and not say, "turn right here" or what not. So it becomes a game. I wait as long as I possibly can as we're approaching the exit we need to take because I want to give her the chance to figure it out on her own. Then, just before it would require her jerking the car over to make the exit, I sort of gently bring it up. Almost always she snaps back, "I knew that".

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My favorite is when she asks me "what's wrong?".

 

I try to tell her that guys are pretty much single threaded and not that complicated. But we usually end up something like this:

 

Her: What's wrong?

Me: What? With me? Nothing.

Her: You sure?

Me: Yeah. I think so. Yeah.

Her: What were you thinking about?

Me: I was thinking what would happen if the three stooges opened a pizza parlor where there is no gravity.

Her: Well that's just dumb.

Me: We both know you should never ask what I am thinking about.

Her: Then why are you so mad?

Me: But I'm not. I really am not.

Her: Fine. But if you want to talk about it let me know...

Me: I said I AM NOT MAD. OKAY? OH FOR GOD'S SAKE NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

 

sigh...

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We go to the Royals home opener yesterday, and my wife gets pretty loopy on Mojitos. We get home, and she jumps in the shower. After a couple of minutes, I go check on her. Keep in mind she's still drunk. Here's the conversation:

 

Me: You all right in here?

 

Her: Did someone flush the toilet? The water is really hot in here. (we have an older house, so this will happen on occasion)

 

Me: No.The kids are downstairs. They haven't turned on any water.

 

Her: Are you sure?

 

Me: Yeah, I'm sure.

 

Her: Well, it's still scalding hot in here.

 

Me: (opens shower door, looks at shower handle, water is on 100% hot)

 

Me: Hey dumbass, turn the knob so it's cooler.

 

Her: Oh.

 

Me: :wacko:

Edited by Chief Dick
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No sense of direction, misuse of words, making up lyrics to songs, and retelling stories I've heard for 34 years.

 

But...

 

She can cook her ass off, make friends in a minute, can spot a lie from a mile away, and laughs at the same jokes I have been telling for 34 years.

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No sense of direction, misuse of words, making up lyrics to songs, and retelling stories I've heard for 34 years.

 

But...

 

She can cook her ass off, make friends in a minute, can spot a lie from a mile away, and laughs at the same jokes I have been telling for 34 years.

 

 

:wacko: Great post

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reorganizes things without telling me..... so i start looking for XX where it's been for 5 months and get ticked after running throughout the house looking for it to have her call out "i put that in the hall closet last month."

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I will get phone calls from my wife at work saying that her iphone isnt linking up to our home wifi network. I then ask why isnt she just using our laptop computer. I also come home from work and find this happening on a regular basis.

 

Answer . . . "Oh yeah . . . . "

 

:shakeshead:

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My favorite is when she asks me "what's wrong?".

 

I try to tell her that guys are pretty much single threaded and not that complicated. But we usually end up something like this:

 

Her: What's wrong?

Me: What? With me? Nothing.

Her: You sure?

Me: Yeah. I think so. Yeah.

Her: What were you thinking about?

Me: I was thinking what would happen if the three stooges opened a pizza parlor where there is no gravity.

Her: Well that's just dumb.

Me: We both know you should never ask what I am thinking about.

Her: Then why are you so mad?

Me: But I'm not. I really am not.

Her: Fine. But if you want to talk about it let me know...

Me: I said I AM NOT MAD. OKAY? OH FOR GOD'S SAKE NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

 

sigh...

You have a weird way of chuckling.

 

 

:wacko:

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This could probably go in the thngs your wfie does that annoy you hread as well, but, in our house, the kitchen is attached to the living room, kind of one big open area, and off of the kitchen is th laundry room that leads to the garage.

 

Anyway, without fail, if I decide to crash on the couch and watch a game or some show that she isn;t going to watch, usually cause it is in the evening and she is watching one of her shows in the bedroom, she decides that is the perfect time to run the dishwasher (rather than put it on a delay so it runs in the middle of the night) and runs a load of laundry and has the dryer going, and she doesn't at least close the door to the laundry room.

 

It's now something that I don;t even bother telling her about, just have to et up from my cozy spot, turn off the dishwasher and reset it with a delay and close the door to the laundry room. Not a huh deal, but when I am crashed on the couch, a giant PITA.

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She has her choir practice tonight and could not think ahead to eat something and was complaining about being starving.

 

This is a woman with a very responsible job making $$$. She has easy access to food at work (a cafeteria that, I would guess, serves until 9 PM).

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Oh yeah.

 

We almost had a late mortgage payment because I insisted that she take some responsibility around the house and pay the bills for a month.

 

She sent the mortgage coupon but no check. Oy vey!

Edited by MojoMan
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  • 3 weeks later...

Just thought of a good one.

 

I'll be upstairs in my office working and my wife will be down in the kitchen, cooking dinner. I can hear Alex Trebec in the background, and every so often....

 

"Who is........Mary Todd Lincoln?"

 

"What are UFOs!!!"

 

"Who is...........................oh! Mark Twain!!!"

 

:wacko:

 

I can't resist mocking her answering questions and she tells me to shut up. :tup:

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We have a Jeopardy rule that during Double Jeopardy if you get the answer right and the contestants don't, it's an automatic win. It's more fun for me if you go "Yeah, I'm the champ" (or whatever) in that split second before Alex confims no one answered correctly and gives the correct answer. She picked up on it and tried it a few times...of course, none of her answers were correct either. Poor thing. :wacko:

 

We don't really watch Jeopardy too much anymore.

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We have a Jeopardy rule that during Double Jeopardy if you get the answer right and the contestants don't, it's an automatic win. It's more fun for me if you go "Yeah, I'm the champ" (or whatever) in that split second before Alex confims no one answered correctly and gives the correct answer. She picked up on it and tried it a few times...of course, none of her answers were correct either. Poor thing. :tup:

 

We don't really watch Jeopardy too much anymore.

:lol:

 

We don't play any games I can beat her at. She used to play D-1 Tennis back in college and, since I never much played, she can destroy me in tennis, so we play our share of that. Well, not so much now that she has a toe injury, but I was always happy to go out and get my ass kicked, it gave me something to shoot for.

 

She's an editor and writer, so she's way better with words, so we play boggle. And she kills me in that as well. Funny thing is, because there's actually some strategy in Scrabble, I typically beat her when we play. We play boggle all the time, very rarely Scrabble.

 

When we met, she talked about how much she liked darts. Had her own set, and a bristle board. I smoked her a few times and the darts never came out again.

 

Suffice to say, we don't play risk. :wacko:

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We have a Jeopardy rule that during Double Jeopardy if you get the answer right and the contestants don't, it's an automatic win. It's more fun for me if you go "Yeah, I'm the champ" (or whatever) in that split second before Alex confims no one answered correctly and gives the correct answer. She picked up on it and tried it a few times...of course, none of her answers were correct either. Poor thing. :wacko:

 

We don't really watch Jeopardy too much anymore.

We do but we don't compete. However it is fun when she chastises me for ripping on funny-looking contestants :cool: esp funny when she laughs at my comment because she admits she agrees w/my assessment. Also loves it when I rip on Alex, who is in our opinion a d-bag.
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The Sheikette is much more planny than I am. I just kinda wing it. This morning we're at breakfast and she starts with the "We could do xy and z today, which means we'd have to put off ab and c until tomorrow, or if you'd like we could forget about x and just do y and z and that might make a and b easier, unless of course gh and i happen in which case we'll have to do x twice. . ."

 

I'm of course thinking about whether or not to put another splenda in my coffee or just drink it as is.

 

Her: You're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?

 

:pause:

 

Me: I love you. :wacko:

 

Her: :tup:

Edited by SheikYerbuti
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Somehow every single day, my wife manages to misplace her car keys. She will spend two hours getting ready for work, and then right before she is going out the door the frantic panic sets in. OMG where are my keys! Help me find my keys! Can I just take your extra set of keys? Why does this always happen to me?

 

Again... every single day. :wacko:

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1:

Me: What do you want for dinner?

Her: Anything, I don't care.

Me: Ok, I'm going to get burritos.

Her: I don't want burritos.

Me: What DO you want then?

Her: Anything, really.

 

2:

She will make ridiculous claims and then continue arguing about it LONG after it has been proven she is wrong, like insisting there are no Air Force officers who don't fly planes.

 

3. She will come home late from work and immediately ask me to clean up so she "can relax" without even looking around to notice that I have, in fact, already cleaned the entire apt. (can be applied to dishes, the garbage, laundry, you name it)

Edited by mrip
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