Chargerz Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife is on Facebook quite a bit, but it is not an overwhelming amount of time. This applies to my wife as well. She probably spends about an hour per day on Facebook. I spend very little time there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Or not. I found it banal and tedious. Haven't checked mine for nine months now. Well facebook is no good unless you have friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Or not. I found it banal and tedious. Haven't checked mine for nine months now. You are talking about Facebook right? Just check'n. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Well facebook is no good unless you have friends idiots:woot: Fixed You are talking about Facebook right? Just check'n. Yes. I mean, why would I care that some buffoon I was persuaded to "friend" broke his high score on some idiot game? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Yes. I mean, why would I care that some buffoon I was persuaded to "friend" broke his high score on some idiot game? Agreed. But you can block all those applications with a simple click of the mouse. Not sure about other people's occupation, but in my business, Facebook is the #1 networking tool. You keep up with what shows friends are working on and the like. I have to admit, I'm a FB whore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Just a couple points Matt (and this is in no way an attempt to argue with you) If she's hell-bent on cheating, I can't stop her, Nobody ever wakes up and is hell bent on cheating. Just like you don't wake up and decide to go 80 miles an hour in a 60. You slowly get into something and lose your perspective. Recovering marriage partners typically refer to the other as being in a "fog" during the time. It is akin to talking to someone who you loved who is now addicted to drugs. They no longer make sense and find ways to warp things. I'll find out eventually and it just means we're not meant to be. I'd also warn you about the concept of "meant" to be. Partners need to actively try to meet each others needs. It's that simple and that complicated. There is no universal plan in the cosmos that put out a "soulmate" for another person. It's hollywood bunk and there are dangers in believing in such. Women cheat because they feel neglected (whether its real or perceived) and having a wife spending a lot of time talking and possibly confiding in other men is probably fine 98% of the time but it can also be considered dancing a little close to the fire. I'll get off my soap box as a few years ago I would've been saying exactly the same things you and rajn said. Maybe I'm jaded or perhaps I got a look at something and want to warn others against ignoring the threat of an avalanche. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brentastic Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife does not spend much time on facebook. Personally I would snoop. I don't know either of you and I am absolutely not saying that something bad is going on. BUT, half of all marriages end in divorce. It's just a fact. Facebook and talking to old acquaintances has lead to a lot of issues in people's marriages that I've known (my wife and I had our own issues but FB had nothing to do with it). So I think you have at least two things going on. One that she is spending too much time and energy being caught up with semi-friends and the superficial posts and games they have on facebook. At some point I'd start to feel a little like second fiddle if she is so wrap up in a bunch of people online. And two you should be concerned with who she is talking to if it is taking up that much time. If its just her and some girlfriends doing chicken talk of wowing over each others baby pictures than it's no big deal. The time commitment that you are describing sounds like more than that. I would 100% find out what males she has listed as friends and see if there is any message or cross post history that you should be concerned with. I no longer subscribe to the theory that you can 100% trust anybody. It has nothing to do with the "type" of person or any particular traits. It's because people are people. And overall people F-up. Some more than others but people in general do some stupid chit (you and I included). FB is one of those dark corners where secrets CAN be kept. There is nothing wrong with checking in and making sure everything is on the up and up. If you spent that many hours at a bar she would want to know if you were hanging out with females there and would rightly get a little concerned if you were. My I think this is an excellent post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Yes. I mean, why would I care that some buffoon I was persuaded to "friend" broke his high score on some idiot game? I like seeing the new toast creations at a place in Chapel Hill N.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 She never joined, me either - to each their own just never got the appeal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopher Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) For me, it's the opposite. My wife used to have a hard time figuring out what in God's name could possess me to spend so much time on a fantasy football site, or fantasy football forum. Over the years, though, I think she's come to realize that it's pretty harmless... She used to read my posts from time to time, but I'm not even sure if she bothers any more. And, if she does, that is perfectly fine with me... I have nothing to hide here, or any place else. Sure, she still gives me crap about this place regularly, but I don't think it bothers her all that much (whereas it used to bother her more). If anything FF-related bothers her, at this point in our marriage, it's probably just the fact that she thinks I'm in too many leagues (which I have to admit is likely accurate, although "too many" is a relative term). As for Facebook, she has an account, and she checks it pretty regularly, but not to the point where she wakes up to check it, or anything like that. I have checked out her page, just a couple of times, but mainly just to read comments (made by some of my friends and relatives) about our baby girl. Other than that, I really don't care what she has going on (on Facebook). I trust her enough to know that she's not doing anything on there to compromise our marriage, basically. Of course, if she DID become possessed with it to the point of waking up to check updates, or just spending an excessively crazy amount of time on it in general, I might start to wonder. As for myself, I have never even set up a Facebook account. I've always kind of been that way... I was probably one of the last people, among my friends, to have a cell phone, for example. At the time (10-12 years ago), I remember thinking that once I broke down and purchased one, I would not be able to imagine life without it. But, as long as I didn't feel horribly inconvenienced by not having one, it didn't matter to me, and I was going to enjoy the simplicity of not having one, for as long as I possibly could. I was pretty much right on... Cell phones have obviously drastically changed the way we live our lives, in a big way. Mostly good, and I can't imagine not having one today. But, there is a small part of me that fondly remembers the days when cell phones weren't even an option. Sure, it was more difficult to get in touch with people, but we didn't know any better at the time, and life was grand. Part of me is afraid that the same thing might happen, if I were to join Facebook... Sure, I might be able to get in touch with a few people that I haven't talked to in a while (maybe even 15-20 years or more), but it would also be just one more thing to consume my time. The more we advance, technologically, the more it sometimes seems as though there just aren't enough hours in the day. So, for now, I'll keep my life as "simple" as I can. Plus, if I want to let my friends/relatives know what is going on in my life, I'll just email or call them. I feel absolutely no need to advertise what I had for lunch yesterday, to a bunch of people I hardly know (yeah, I realize you can limit who sees various parts of your FB page, or whatever, but you get my point). I'll probably change my mind, and break down at some point (and join FB), but for right now, I'll pass. Edit: I do realize that my post (especially the bolded statement above) is somewhat hypocritical, considering that I just admitted that I spend too much time here at the Huddle. But, I don't spend THAT much time sharing personal information here, compared to some others. Most of the time, I'm here for football. Plus, if I were to join FB, I'm not so sure my time spent at the Huddle would decrease by all that much, which essentially means I'm just spending that much more time online every day. Edited March 31, 2011 by Gopher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I'd also warn you about the concept of "meant" to be. Partners need to actively try to meet each others needs. It's that simple and that complicated. There is no universal plan in the cosmos that put out a "soulmate" for another person. It's hollywood bunk and there are dangers in believing in such. I agree with you, was just using a bit of shorthand there. What I meant was, if infidelity happens despite all our efforts to build a good marriage, then it was a pointless exercise (doomed to fail from the outset for whatever reason). I don't pretend to know how things will evolve; all I can do is make sure I'm giving 100% every day. I should stipulate we're only 4 years in, no kids yet and still in love. We still have dozens on corny nicknames for each other and have tickle fights. I know most couples together 10+ years with kids face challenges to stay together and I make no assumptions it will be a cakewalk. I am in awe of couples that make it into old age and I know most of them have some battle scars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montster Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife does not spend much time on facebook. Personally I would snoop. I don't know either of you and I am absolutely not saying that something bad is going on. BUT, half of all marriages end in divorce. It's just a fact. Facebook and talking to old acquaintances has lead to a lot of issues in people's marriages that I've known (my wife and I had our own issues but FB had nothing to do with it). So I think you have at least two things going on. One that she is spending too much time and energy being caught up with semi-friends and the superficial posts and games they have on facebook. At some point I'd start to feel a little like second fiddle if she is so wrap up in a bunch of people online. And two you should be concerned with who she is talking to if it is taking up that much time. If its just her and some girlfriends doing chicken talk of wowing over each others baby pictures than it's no big deal. The time commitment that you are describing sounds like more than that. I would 100% find out what males she has listed as friends and see if there is any message or cross post history that you should be concerned with. I no longer subscribe to the theory that you can 100% trust anybody. It has nothing to do with the "type" of person or any particular traits. It's because people are people. And overall people F-up. Some more than others but people in general do some stupid chit (you and I included). FB is one of those dark corners where secrets CAN be kept. There is nothing wrong with checking in and making sure everything is on the up and up. If you spent that many hours at a bar she would want to know if you were hanging out with females there and would rightly get a little concerned if you were. My Just a couple points Matt (and this is in no way an attempt to argue with you) Nobody ever wakes up and is hell bent on cheating. Just like you don't wake up and decide to go 80 miles an hour in a 60. You slowly get into something and lose your perspective. Recovering marriage partners typically refer to the other as being in a "fog" during the time. It is akin to talking to someone who you loved who is now addicted to drugs. They no longer make sense and find ways to warp things. I'd also warn you about the concept of "meant" to be. Partners need to actively try to meet each others needs. It's that simple and that complicated. There is no universal plan in the cosmos that put out a "soulmate" for another person. It's hollywood bunk and there are dangers in believing in such. Women cheat because they feel neglected (whether its real or perceived) and having a wife spending a lot of time talking and possibly confiding in other men is probably fine 98% of the time but it can also be considered dancing a little close to the fire. I'll get off my soap box as a few years ago I would've been saying exactly the same things you and rajn said. Maybe I'm jaded or perhaps I got a look at something and want to warn others against ignoring the threat of an avalanche. You state that you and your wife had your own issues. Without prying into your business, it sounds as if you are looking at this from the perspective of someone given a reason to be mistrustful. If that's the case, I'm sorry that happened to you. You say you're now unable to 100 percent trust someone, but that's pretty much what a marriage requires. Cre8tiff has said he's been given no reason to believe his wife is being unfaithful. By snooping, he's basically admitting he doesn't trust her. If he tells her he checked up on her, she has now lost trust in him as well. If he doesn't tell her, he's now keeping a secret from her, along with the guilt involved with that. Of course, there's the chance that, by snooping, he finds out she's being unfaithful. But, by snooping on her, the marriage will have already been harmed, regardless of the outcome. Or he can just talk to her about his issues and try to resolve things that way. Your point that partners need to actively meet each others' needs is a good one. Maybe there's something on Facebook she's missing her her "real" life. But he's better off asking her about it face-to-face, not behind her back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 You state that you and your wife had your own issues. Without prying into your business, it sounds as if you are looking at this from the perspective of someone given a reason to be mistrustful. If that's the case, I'm sorry that happened to you. You say you're now unable to 100 percent trust someone, but that's pretty much what a marriage requires. Cre8tiff has said he's been given no reason to believe his wife is being unfaithful. By snooping, he's basically admitting he doesn't trust her. If he tells her he checked up on her, she has now lost trust in him as well. If he doesn't tell her, he's now keeping a secret from her, along with the guilt involved with that. Of course, there's the chance that, by snooping, he finds out she's being unfaithful. But, by snooping on her, the marriage will have already been harmed, regardless of the outcome. Or he can just talk to her about his issues and try to resolve things that way. Your point that partners need to actively meet each others' needs is a good one. Maybe there's something on Facebook she's missing her her "real" life. But he's better off asking her about it face-to-face, not behind her back. That's what I said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife does not spend much time on facebook. Personally I would snoop. I don't know either of you and I am absolutely not saying that something bad is going on. BUT, half of all marriages end in divorce. It's just a fact. Facebook and talking to old acquaintances has lead to a lot of issues in people's marriages that I've known (my wife and I had our own issues but FB had nothing to do with it). So I think you have at least two things going on. One that she is spending too much time and energy being caught up with semi-friends and the superficial posts and games they have on facebook. At some point I'd start to feel a little like second fiddle if she is so wrap up in a bunch of people online. And two you should be concerned with who she is talking to if it is taking up that much time. If its just her and some girlfriends doing chicken talk of wowing over each others baby pictures than it's no big deal. The time commitment that you are describing sounds like more than that. I would 100% find out what males she has listed as friends and see if there is any message or cross post history that you should be concerned with. I no longer subscribe to the theory that you can 100% trust anybody. It has nothing to do with the "type" of person or any particular traits. It's because people are people. And overall people F-up. Some more than others but people in general do some stupid chit (you and I included). FB is one of those dark corners where secrets CAN be kept. There is nothing wrong with checking in and making sure everything is on the up and up. If you spent that many hours at a bar she would want to know if you were hanging out with females there and would rightly get a little concerned if you were. My Disagree. I firmly believe that if someone is going to cheat, it is impossible to stop them (short of murder). My wife has known my thoughts on this from the beginning. For several years, one of her best friends was a guy (friendship ended when he became involved with a jealous bch and has literally required that he have no contact with my wife). I trust her completely but she also knows that one of the few deal breakers for me is cheating. Once the trust is gone, nothing is left. She has never given me a reason to doubt her. Our marriage is better now than it's ever been. If you are considering "snooping," I assert that there is either already something wrong in the marriage, your significant other has cheated on you before, or you are an individual with a good deal of insecurity. Regarding OP--My wife has male and female friends and spends around an hour or so each night on facebook. I'm rarely on facebook except I check out my sons' pages daily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 You say you're now unable to 100 percent trust someone, but that's pretty much what a marriage requires. I guess I just disagree. If you put yourself in bad situations over a long enough period of time almost everyone will do something stupid. I guess in my research and therapy from my marriages issues I learned some things. Anyone is free to disagree but keep in mind that some of this is from professionals who have consulted thousands of marriages. So don't limit this to "square is a little crazy" and close your mind. Here is a link to an article on marriagebuilders titled "Are friends a threat to your marriage?" So I guess when I say snooping I'm saying that I would take take interest in who my spouse is spending a lot of time talking to. Confiding personal and emotional issues to a person of the opposite sex can lead to bad things in a marriage (especially if you hit a rough patch of some kind). FB is a conduit in which this happens more than the real world due to ease of conversation and the ability to find old flames or people they were attracted to. Basically, a lot of people that have cheated did not intend to actually do it. What they didn't do is honor the proper barriers. So while I do agree that trust is a cornerstone of a marriage (as in that is what it is built on) that does not mean that I think that she (or any person) can put themselves into bad situations and expect nothing to happen. Proper barriers are required and I think more guys should be weary of "friends" that their women confide in because after a long enough time it can spark emotions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTed46 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I dont like facebook...i cancelled it and my fiance cancelled it. There are too many creepers/blasts from the pasts/ex girlfriend/boyfriends on there that have access (wether easy or not) to your life. I prefer we both off it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tford Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I have my things; video games, hockey, golf, curling, fantasy sports etc. She has her things; facebook, I-tunes, scrapbooking etc. There are lots of things we love doing together but many times after the kids go to bed, we like to relax and do our own thing. Facebook just so happens to be one of those things for her. I've never been given a reason not to trust my wife; her facebook is her thing. The interesting part is that even if I wanted to snoop, she wouldn't care. And that's likely the reason I'll never need to snoop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brentastic Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Disagree. I firmly believe that if someone is going to cheat, it is impossible to stop them (short of murder). My wife has known my thoughts on this from the beginning. For several years, one of her best friends was a guy (friendship ended when he became involved with a jealous bch and has literally required that he have no contact with my wife). I trust her completely but she also knows that one of the few deal breakers for me is cheating. Once the trust is gone, nothing is left. She has never given me a reason to doubt her. Our marriage is better now than it's ever been. If you are considering "snooping," I assert that there is either already something wrong in the marriage, your significant other has cheated on you before, or you are an individual with a good deal of insecurity. Regarding OP--My wife has male and female friends and spends around an hour or so each night on facebook. I'm rarely on facebook except I check out my sons' pages daily. I don't think that's true at all. I 100% agree with Square when he says: "people are people. And overall people F-up. Some more than others but people in general do some stupid chit". I think it's completely feasible that a person with no intention to cheat whatsoever could be coaxed to do so under the wrong circumstances. To think differently is being naive, imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I firmly believe that if someone is going to cheat, it is impossible to stop them (short of murder). Then we disagree. Guarding against people of the opposite sex meeting emotional needs of your spouse is something I found fairly commonly prescribed in the therapy information I've read. It was typically referred to as the #1 reason people ended up having relationships outside of marriage. I assert that there is either already something wrong in the marriage It sounds a little simplistic when put like that (although brevity is your thing). The truth is where there may not have been anything wrong for the first 10 years of my relationship, some things happened in the 11th year as things were drastically different in that section than in the previous years. Maybe the next 30 will be fine. I don't think people know what the future holds and that every marriage is tested at times. or you are an individual with a good deal of insecurity Actually, i think that is where my hubris got me. I always assumed that there would never be anything to worry about. The fall hurt, but lesson was learned. if I had been a little more insecure or awakened to how fragile a relationship can be over years, I would have made changes earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I guess I just disagree. If you put yourself in bad situations over a long enough period of time almost everyone will do something stupid. I guess in my research and therapy from my marriages issues I learned some things. Anyone is free to disagree but keep in mind that some of this is from professionals who have consulted thousands of marriages. So don't limit this to "square is a little crazy" and close your mind. Here is a link to an article on marriagebuilders titled "Are friends a threat to your marriage?" So I guess when I say snooping I'm saying that I would take take interest in who my spouse is spending a lot of time talking to. Confiding personal and emotional issues to a person of the opposite sex can lead to bad things in a marriage (especially if you hit a rough patch of some kind). FB is a conduit in which this happens more than the real world due to ease of conversation and the ability to find old flames or people they were attracted to. Basically, a lot of people that have cheated did not intend to actually do it. What they didn't do is honor the proper barriers. So while I do agree that trust is a cornerstone of a marriage (as in that is what it is built on) that does not mean that I think that she (or any person) can put themselves into bad situations and expect nothing to happen. Proper barriers are required and I think more guys should be weary of "friends" that their women confide in because after a long enough time it can spark emotions. I think that depends on how you view Facebook. I certainly wouldn't equate it to hanging out at bars and drinking, but in the same sense, it's not passing by the water cooler either. Still, snooping IMO breeds mistrust where there may not have been any before. If caught, she may wonder if he was doing it due to a guilty conscience of his own. Personally, I trust my wife enough to not have any concern over who she is friends with & chatting to either on Facebook or real life. But, if at some point it did start to bother me then I would go to her about it rather than sneak around behind her back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeductiveNun Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I have my things; video games, hockey, golf, curling, fantasy sports etc. And all this time I thought I was the only one here who curled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I am constantly playing Scrabble with my wife on FB. I don't have any problems with her taking some time with facebook. Although, we've both been too busy that we haven't even watched the Social Network movie that we bought weeks ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akfatha Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 my wife uses facebook, i use facebook but i rarely check mine. we both have each others passwords. ive been on our computer before and shes said, "hey login to my facebook and put this as a status" lol. i have no issues with trust. if shes cheated, or going to cheat, i cant prevent it. she'll find a way, if thats what she wants, so i just go with the flow, and if it happens we'll cross that bridge when i get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Then we disagree. Guarding against people of the opposite sex meeting emotional needs of your spouse is something I found fairly commonly prescribed in the therapy information I've read. It was typically referred to as the #1 reason people ended up having relationships outside of marriage. In a good relationship, there is good communication and each person's emotional needs are being met by the other. I've been married 16 years. My wife and I had a very serious "rough patch" a few years ago. Very serious. No infidelity was involved in any way but there are a multitude of ways a marriage can go wrong. I continue to assert that if one person is looking to have their 'emotional needs' met by 'a member of the opposite sex' on some level, they are already opening the door to infidelity. However, if this is happening, then clearly, there are already problems in the marriage. Actually, i think that is where my hubris got me. I always assumed that there would never be anything to worry about. The fall hurt, but lesson was learned. if I had been a little more insecure or awakened to how fragile a relationship can be over years, I would have made changes earlier. Insecurity and being aware of how fragile a relationship are not related in my opinion. Relationships are fragile whether one is secure in oneself or insecure. However, insecurity in relationships tends to manifest in jealousy and mistrust. This is because people who are insecure typically have a poor opinion of themselves. Therefore, on some level, they are always worried that their significant other will also develop a poor opinion of him/her and reject her. To guard against this, they try to insure that their significant other does not interact with members of the opposite sex. You commented that you always assumed there would never be anything to worry about. Is it better to assume that there is something to worry about [rhetorical question--of course not]? Is infidelity in a relationship possible? Of course. However, if a spouse is happy in a relationship, how likely is s/he to cheat? I mentioned previously that in the past, my wife's best friend was a man. They would exercise together a couple of times a week [insert joke here]. I joked all the time and called her his 'boyfriend.' He became friends with me and he was amazed that I had no problem with the relationship he had with my wife. In the end, for me, I'm just happier assuming that my wife will never cheat on me. If she ever did, I'd be devastated. However, I can't waste my energy looking over her shoulder and worrying about what she will or won't do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montster Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I guess I just disagree. If you put yourself in bad situations over a long enough period of time almost everyone will do something stupid. I guess in my research and therapy from my marriages issues I learned some things. Anyone is free to disagree but keep in mind that some of this is from professionals who have consulted thousands of marriages. So don't limit this to "square is a little crazy" and close your mind. Here is a link to an article on marriagebuilders titled "Are friends a threat to your marriage?" So I guess when I say snooping I'm saying that I would take take interest in who my spouse is spending a lot of time talking to. Confiding personal and emotional issues to a person of the opposite sex can lead to bad things in a marriage (especially if you hit a rough patch of some kind). FB is a conduit in which this happens more than the real world due to ease of conversation and the ability to find old flames or people they were attracted to. Basically, a lot of people that have cheated did not intend to actually do it. What they didn't do is honor the proper barriers. So while I do agree that trust is a cornerstone of a marriage (as in that is what it is built on) that does not mean that I think that she (or any person) can put themselves into bad situations and expect nothing to happen. Proper barriers are required and I think more guys should be weary of "friends" that their women confide in because after a long enough time it can spark emotions. I don't think that's true at all. I 100% agree with Square when he says: "people are people. And overall people F-up. Some more than others but people in general do some stupid chit". I think it's completely feasible that a person with no intention to cheat whatsoever could be coaxed to do so under the wrong circumstances. To think differently is being naive, imo. Listen, I realize people cheat. I won't pretend I know the reasons. But you're essentially saying that my wife could tell me, "Sorry, I had no intention of cheating but I put myself in this bad situation and I got coaxed into it." And if I failed to believe that excuse, I'm the one being naive? Like unta, I can tolerate a lot of things, but cheating is pretty much a deal-breaker. My wife feels the same way. We both know that if one of us cheated, the marriage would almost certainly be over. Could she have cheated at some point without my knowing? Sure. But worrying about it is counterproductive. Call me what you want, but I trust her completely. I wouldn't know how to do it any other way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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