Change

[rajncajn]

Wow. I bet you would be surprised at just how many guys fall in line with this.

Me for instance...

+2 & I'm only 37. I'm hoping my problems relate more to the apnea problem & lack of sleep. I've got an appt to get my Darth Vader apparatus next month. :fingerscrossed: But lately it seems more & more the jackass in me comes out. GL swammi, wish I had the answers, but I think realizing the problem is a big step in the right direction.

[detlef]

Add one to the list and it's getting pretty damned old. It's almost as if I crave conflict, that I'm just begging for someone to come by and say something really stupid so I can ride them about what an idiot they are.

 

It's rather pathetic actually, and I fear that spending time on message boards where you can lay into people way more than you would in real life doesn't help. I've always liked a good debate, but perhaps a less respectful version of that has bubbled up. To be honest, I'm making a concerted effort to disengage more often than I used to to combat this. The hardest part is realizing that not getting the last word doesn't mean you lost the argument. It just meant that you showed enough sack to just shut up and move on.

 

Certainly the Huddle archives are littered with many failures of mine in that regard (some quite recent, in fact) but it is something I'm working on. I'm blessed that my day to day life doesn't have that much conflict, actually, and that's the odd thing. When I find myself relating a story of having it out with some a-hole over this or that, it almost invariably turns out to be someone that I've sought out on a message board. And well, that's pretty effing lame.

 

I hope this does not come off as an indictment of this place because I do enjoy and respect the vast majority of the people I meet here, many of whom I find myself arguing with. What this is intended to say is how I need to better shape my relationship with places like this and how I'm certain that would have a positive impact on my demeanor in general. This issue is mine and mine alone to own. Just as is the case for everyone else who've echoed swammi's concerns.

Edited March 27, 2009 by detlef

[tonorator]

Add one to the list and it's getting pretty damned old. It's almost as if I crave conflict, that I'm just begging for someone to come by and say something really stupid so I can ride them about what an idiot they are.

 

It's rather pathetic actually, and I fear that spending time on message boards where you can lay into people way more than you would in real life doesn't help. I've always liked a good debate, but perhaps a less respectful version of that has bubbled up. To be honest, I'm making a concerted effort to disengage more often than I used to to combat this. The hardest part is realizing that not getting the last word doesn't mean you lost the argument. It just meant that you showed enough sack to just shut up and move on.

 

Certainly the Huddle archives are littered with many failures of mine in that regard (some quite recent, in fact) but it is something I'm working on. I'm blessed that my day to day life doesn't have that much conflict, actually, and that's the odd thing. When I find myself relating a story of having it out with some a-hole over this or that, it almost invariably turns out to be someone that I've sought out on a message board. And well, that's pretty effing lame.

 

I hope this does not come off as an indictment of this place because I do enjoy and respect the vast majority of the people I meet here, many of whom I find myself arguing with. What this is intended to say is how I need to better shape my relationship with places like this and how I'm certain that would have a positive impact on my demeanor in general. This issue is mine and mine alone to own. Just as is the case for everyone else who've echoed swammi's concerns.

 

man, what an a-hole.

[whomper]

Look on the bright side Swammi......at least you're not reduced to quoting the movie 'Dune".

 

 

Nice

 

It's almost as if I crave conflict,

 

:saidinstripesvoicewhenjohncandysaidhehadaweightproblem: No , no :saidinstripesvoicewhenjohncandysaidhehadaweightproblem

[whomper]

Sometimes, as children often do , you pre judge a person based on something stupid or pre conceived rivalries. You as an Eagles fan and me as Boys fan I guess started me off looking to fight with you on the boards in the football forum because that is where you used to post predominantly and you enjoy sticking it to the boys. After you branched out to the tailgate and became an every day poster I have to say I think you are a really good guy and a great huddler.

 

Stress at work and being the bread winner can really weigh on a person big time and as much as you try to not make it happen it inevitably comes home with you and you sometimes take it out on the family who are easy targets. I have done it for sure. there are times when I will yell at my kid for something they did wrong and as I am doing it I know it wasnt as bad as I am making it seem and I am being an idiot to my kid.

 

Remember this. You are a good man and a hard working honest person. The fact that you posted this tells me so. Your family knows this and it is never too late to sit the wife down or the kids down and say I'm sorry if I have been on edge and took some things out on you and I will work on it. They will appreciate it and understand. As far as poker. Now that you have the moneymakers disk you can join us. Playing against me brings anyones confidence and spirits up Good luck bro

[dmarc117]

with great responsibility comes great stress

[Scooby]

I like you because deep down inside, you're really a Cowboys fan. You're just in denial at this point

[i_am_the_swammi]

I like you because deep down inside, you're really a Cowboys fan. You're just in denial at this point

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[i_am_the_swammi]

Some great advice, some great "admittances", some great PMs, and some great laughs....all much appreciated.

 

And after much concensus, it appears I may be going thru menopause.

 

Actually, Det hit the nail on the head...I can't understand why my day seems more fulfilled when there is conflict. Whether its playing devil's advocate here, looking for something to pick on with my kids, or someone to complain about at work.....its the general feeling of needing to be of "in charge" or "I am right, you are wrong", and that was never me. Maybe I am looking for some sort of control in a world where everything is out of control?

 

I mentioned to Neutron some of the personal challenges in my life (paying for four kids to be in various forms of daycare full and part time while I fund a wife's college degree as the sole provider). It has been challenging on the family economically...not to a truly concerning point, as every bill is on time and paid....but we've done without the extras, vacations, meals-out, etc for 2+ years, and we are all looking forward to a windfall in cash flow when she graduates in August. She doesn't even have to work...just not paying daycare/college tuition will be a major lifestyle change for us. Its a huge amount of money. For me, it will mean not analyzing every single purchase we make at the store...telling my kids they can't buy a treat, even though they very rarely ask anymore because they know the answer....not getting my hair cut every 6 weeks rather than 4....hopefully not driving a 1998 Camry and parking it next to 2008 BMWs at work. A lot of built up resentment, and its very selfish of me to think "Why do I have to live like this" and "is it really worth it?". We are healthy, we love each other dearly, and even in our current situation, are very fortunate in today's world.

 

I'll get over this, as I have other internal conflicts. Like many have said, recognizing the problem is a big step. My health is excellent (thank God), as my 40+ year-old check up last year was A+. I need to quit smoking. I hate that I don't have the desire to do so. I procrastinate by nature, and am fearing that I need something terrible diagnosed in order to get me to quit. Seeing my kids faces every morning, and knowing I might not be around as long as I should be to see their kids one day, should indeed be every reason I need to quit. Maybe when the wife is done school, and things calm down. Sees like a good target date.

 

Hopefully, all of this is just some short term stress that I just need to manage better.

[Caveman_Nick]

Find a tai chi class. Go a few times a week. It will help.

[NAUgrad]

I need to quit smoking.

 

Hell, there you go! That's your whole problem right there!! Everyone knows all a-holes smoke!

[Chargerz]

And after much concensus, it appears I may be going thru menopause.

PM me. l can prescribe some estrogen.

[polksalet]

I am actually getting more mellow as I age. Perhaps the word is apathetic?

[Savage Beatings]

It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.

[Cunning Runt]

I get pissed easy myself and do not shy away from conflict. But two years ago, after almost getting into a fistfight with our 1st baseman, literally in between pitches in the middle of a game (I was pitching), I gave up softball.

 

Sucks 'cause I know I still got game, but it wasn't worth it.

 

In general though take a deep breath. Literally count to 10 and take a deep breath. The simple fact that you're doing this kinda sheds a humorous light on whatever pissed you off to begin with.

[polksalet]

I get pissed easy myself and do not shy away from conflict. But two years ago, after almost getting into a fistfight with our 1st baseman, literally in between pitches in the middle of a game (I was pitching), I gave up softball.

 

Sucks 'cause I know I still got game, but it wasn't worth it.

 

In general though take a deep breath. Literally count to 10 and take a deep breath. The simple fact that you're doing this kinda sheds a humorous light on whatever pissed you off to begin with.

 

Maybe you should work on taking yourself less seriously. .

[Cunning Runt]

Maybe you should work on taking yourself less seriously. .

 

There's no doubt about it.

 

Quitting softball was a step in that direction. I couldn't play to have fun. I wanted to win and didn't have fun unless we did.

[Bier Meister]

There's no doubt about it.

 

Quitting softball was a step in that direction. I couldn't play to have fun. I wanted to win and didn't have fun unless we did.

 

 

i had your backup sp. always hoped you'd pull a hammie so i could get those coveted fsb points

[polksalet]

There's no doubt about it.

 

Quitting softball was a step in that direction. I couldn't play to have fun. I wanted to win and didn't have fun unless we did.

 

I quit church softball for the same reason. One guy wanted to win and decided to bowe up at me in the baseline and tag me out. Well I'm a big guy and still pretty fast. My knee hit him on top of the skull and knocked him smooth out. I honestly thought I had killed him. He was twitching and stuff. I had a hugh knot (baseball size) and the skin went numb for like 2 years. Moral of the story was that he wanted to win so bad he was playing by old school rules instead of just tagging me or waving me by and it nearly killed him. I quit playin after that.

[Skilly]

Some great advice, some great "admittances", some great PMs, and some great laughs....all much appreciated.

 

And after much concensus, it appears I may be going thru menopause.

 

Actually, Det hit the nail on the head...I can't understand why my day seems more fulfilled when there is conflict. Whether its playing devil's advocate here, looking for something to pick on with my kids, or someone to complain about at work.....its the general feeling of needing to be of "in charge" or "I am right, you are wrong", and that was never me. Maybe I am looking for some sort of control in a world where everything is out of control?

 

I mentioned to Neutron some of the personal challenges in my life (paying for four kids to be in various forms of daycare full and part time while I fund a wife's college degree as the sole provider). It has been challenging on the family economically...not to a truly concerning point, as every bill is on time and paid....but we've done without the extras, vacations, meals-out, etc for 2+ years, and we are all looking forward to a windfall in cash flow when she graduates in August. She doesn't even have to work...just not paying daycare/college tuition will be a major lifestyle change for us. Its a huge amount of money. For me, it will mean not analyzing every single purchase we make at the store...telling my kids they can't buy a treat, even though they very rarely ask anymore because they know the answer....not getting my hair cut every 6 weeks rather than 4....hopefully not driving a 1998 Camry and parking it next to 2008 BMWs at work. A lot of built up resentment, and its very selfish of me to think "Why do I have to live like this" and "is it really worth it?". We are healthy, we love each other dearly, and even in our current situation, are very fortunate in today's world.

 

I'll get over this, as I have other internal conflicts. Like many have said, recognizing the problem is a big step. My health is excellent (thank God), as my 40+ year-old check up last year was A+. I need to quit smoking. I hate that I don't have the desire to do so. I procrastinate by nature, and am fearing that I need something terrible diagnosed in order to get me to quit. Seeing my kids faces every morning, and knowing I might not be around as long as I should be to see their kids one day, should indeed be every reason I need to quit. Maybe when the wife is done school, and things calm down. Sees like a good target date.

 

Hopefully, all of this is just some short term stress that I just need to manage better.

 

Sounds like you've hit the nail on the head. Money (or lack of it right now) makes you cranky. I'm trying to dig myself out of a financial hole from a divorce and job change , and some days I don't even want to get out of bed. I used to play hockey, but arthritis and a bad back have killed that. I'm just trying to make do like everybody else, and be a good person. We are all there with ya, Swammi! Keep on keepin on.

[tonorator]

Sounds like you've hit the nail on the head. Money (or lack of it right now) makes you cranky. I'm trying to dig myself out of a financial hole from a divorce and job change , and some days I don't even want to get out of bed. I used to play hockey, but arthritis and a bad back have killed that. I'm just trying to make do like everybody else, and be a good person. We are all there with ya, Swammi! Keep on keepin on.

 

what's more is if you feel like you are carrying the financial weight all on your own. kids are always being kids and women seem to be more at peace with life in general so it falls back to us as the keepers of the stress many times. it's tough to be the one worrying about all the possibilities if no one else seems to be, especially when you question yourself about worrying that much at all ... but then you go back to worrying because you are a responsible person and you care for your family. doing this for a long time can result in just wanting something, anything, to be fully under control so you don't have to worry about it.

 

it's why i clean out the garage alot. therapy.

[whomper]

Sounds like you've hit the nail on the head. Money (or lack of it right now) makes you cranky. I'm trying to dig myself out of a financial hole from a divorce and job change , and some days I don't even want to get out of bed. I used to play hockey, but arthritis and a bad back have killed that. I'm just trying to make do like everybody else, and be a good person. We are all there with ya, Swammi! Keep on keepin on.

 

 

Nothing a good viewing of Dune cant cure

[Savage Beatings]

Nothing a good viewing of Dune cant cure

 

Wurd.

 

:buffalostance:

[yo mama]

Nothing a good viewing of Dune cant cure

The one with Sting or the one with William Hurt?

[jaxfactor]

Sounds like you've hit the nail on the head. Money (or lack of it right now) makes you cranky. I'm trying to dig myself out of a financial hole from a divorce and job change , and some days I don't even want to get out of bed. I used to play hockey, but arthritis and a bad back have killed that. I'm just trying to make do like everybody else, and be a good person. We are all there with ya, Swammi! Keep on keepin on.

 

After what I've been through this past month and a half, I keep telling myself there's only one way to go from here. UP! Most couples will tell you that the number one cause of failing relationships(not that Swammi has one, I'm just saying)is money(or lack thereof). I am personally at a hugh crossroad in my life. But like I said before, I can only go up from here. You will too someday soon, Swammi. After a hit, you simply have to get back up again, and you will.