Bier Meister Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 In the very rare circumstance it happens to me, I usually tell them my wife has to meet her first and if my wife likes her, we can all work something out. i liken it to an HMO. if i get preauthorization from the mrs, then we can preceed with treatment. i have only gotten preauthorization once Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I don't mean to sound harsh, but you shouldn't get a pat on the back for being faithful. That's what you're supposed to do, and it's what your wife expects. The fact that you seem impressed by it could be a serious problem for her. She'd think "Why is this a big deal, and why didn't he just tell her to leave him alone?" Or... telling her might give her the impression that you're saying: "By the way... other chicks still dig me, so keep your A game up or else." Either way, I would downplay the incident. Some drunk chick was inappropriate and you nipped it in the bud. That's all. Hardly worth talking about. Any "Whoo! I narrowly avoided cheating on you!" stuff is not going to earn a congratulations from her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I disagree Atomic... I think that he does deserve Kudos for showing the kind of strength that many MANY men would not find wihtin themselves in the same situation. It's easy to be faithful when you're in the daily routine, but here he found himself very much outside of the daily routine, faced with temptation and opportunity. We don't usually face those down each day. So yes, he did what he was supposed to do, but that doesn't mean that it's always easy. Marriage is tested in a miriade of diiferent ways over the years and he passed one of the toughest. Nothing wrong with celebrating that a little bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Wow, not one post saying you should have rushed off to her place giving her a false name and spent the night in sexual abandon, fleeing before the dawn. Huddlers are fine people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 It's easy to be faithful when you're in the daily routine, but here he found himself very much outside of the daily routine, faced with temptation and opportunity. We don't usually face those down each day. Speak for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbimm Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Wow, not one post saying you should have rushed off to her place giving her a false name and spent the night in sexual abandon, fleeing before the dawn. Huddlers are fine people. I had the very same thought about 20 posts into the thread. I am not all that surprised given the history of this group though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Speak for yourself. I'm overweight, bald(ing), have questionable hygiene and am not particularly bright. I just assume that the rest of you are on par with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I'm overweight, bald(ing), have questionable hygiene and am not particularly bright a conservative. Fixed for brevity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I'm overweight, bald(ing), have questionable hygiene and am not particularly bright. I just assume that the rest of you are on par with me. I'm happy for muck but it almost seems like everyone is suggesting he fess up and I don't see what there is to fess up to, other than for going to the lamest bar ever. If the story wasn't so implausable, I'd swear he's full of $hit. A Warrent Buffett book to pick-up a hot MILF, maybe in a pron directed by wiegie but in real life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoopazz Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 You're a good man and did everything right as far as I can tell. I'm also happily married with kids so I understand your allegiance. However, I see no reason to tell the wifey about this. All that said, I would have f*cked her brains out, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 crocs I know what they are. I'm just surprised to you admitting wearing them in a public forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampnuts Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I see no reason whatsover to tell your wife about this. You conducted yourself well and have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm sure it felt dam good to have a beautiful woman hit on you, and ALL of us here would have been flattered and taken an ego boost from it. There's nothing in the world wrong with it, and enjoy the memory of the whole thing. Your wife expects you to be faithful and respectful of her at all time ( which you were ) and there's no reason to bring the question of fidelity into your life. To bring this up might suggest to her that you're either bragging or suggesting that you're seeking recognition for doing the right thing. I say put this in your back pocket as good a night you're bound to get with "another woman" and carry on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riffraff Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 He may end having to tell the wife after she gets home and he has to explain the new painted walls and brand spanking new sheets. Everyone here knows he probably white walled the bedroom with some good old fashioned toe curling self action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 ...the concerned friend and I have a chat about how I'm probably in the wrong, if I really am happily married, for "coming to a bar, sitting by myself and reading"...that the message I'm sending is "please, would an aggressive woman please pick me up; I'm ready for some casual sex"...so, as far as I'm concerned, she is right, I should not have been in a pizza place / bar, drinking a beer and reading a book about Warren Buffett at 1:30 am on a Saturday night if I wasn't interested in a hookup... Yeah, and women who get raped should have dressed more modestly. Okay, that's overstating the comparison but the thought process is the same - you're out in a public place, you aren't "asking" for attention in any way, shape, or form. You weren't in the wrong by being there. 1) What, if anything, should I tell my wife about this? My first inclination was to call her at her parents on the way home and tell her the whole story. I didn't. She's flying home tomorrow afternoon / evening ... Eh, like the others said - I don't know your wife, but if she's been putting up with you all this time, I'll assume she has a well-developed sense of humor. I'd probably tell MY wife "you won't believe what happened to me..." and relate the Reader's Digest version of the story. And probably end it with "watch it babe, I'm a hot item!" or something. I think my wife is fairly attractive so she's gonna get hit on; the price of having a good-looking mate, I guess, so if it happened to her, it wouldn't bother me. I assume she feels the same. 2) What, if anything, should I have done differently. My first thought was that I should have moved my arms after she sat down (without being asked to sit, btw) so that my wedding ring was obvious...but, I really don't know (other than being really rude) what I could / should have done differently. TELLING her about the wife and 4 kids seemed to barely slow her down, I doubt seeing the ring would have mattered that much. Bottom line is I had no idea muck was such a stud; all but bagging a hottie wearing gym shorts and crocs, fer cryin' out loud! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 He may end having to tell the wife after she gets home and he has to explain the new painted walls and brand spanking new sheets. Everyone here knows he probably white walled the bedroom with some good old fashioned toe curling self action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks21 Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Tell the wife. You have done nothing wrong. This can only work out well for you. You will come out of this looking like a sexy devil to your own wife, while at the same time making her feel confident that you will not be wandering any time soon. The only downside is that possibly she gets jealous and isn't as likely to leave next time. More likely though is you come out ahead. Unless your wife is really self-conscious, I can't see any harm in telling her. Knowing that she has a desired man should help stroke her ego as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJoTheWebToedBoy Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I'm wearing gym shorts, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and crocs for Pete's sake Pics..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 +2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I don't think you need to mention this to the wife. You already got your thumbs up here from us... don't risk it going to wrong way with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I disagree Atomic... I think that he does deserve Kudos for showing the kind of strength that many MANY men would not find wihtin themselves in the same situation. It's easy to be faithful when you're in the daily routine, but here he found himself very much outside of the daily routine, faced with temptation and opportunity. We don't usually face those down each day. So yes, he did what he was supposed to do, but that doesn't mean that it's always easy. Marriage is tested in a miriade of diiferent ways over the years and he passed one of the toughest. Nothing wrong with celebrating that a little bit. Kudos from me? Yes. From you? Sure. From his wife? Probably not. She does not want to hear this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godtomsatan Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Why did you tell your parents? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Agent Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I'd tell my wife. But I'd clean it up a little and throw out the part about not exposing your wedding ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 I'm at this pizza place (and it has a bar and a patio). I'm on about page 500 of the most recent biography on Warren Buffett ... drinking my beer ... doing NOTHING to attract attention (I'm wearing gym shorts, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and crocs for Pete's sake) ... sitting at a table all by myself. I'm not even wearing my glasses; I can't see anything except my book and my beer. About 20 minutes after I arrive, this VERY attractive woman comes (seemingly) out of nowhere and says, "What are you reading?" I show her the spine of the book; "The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life" and say "a book about Warren Buffett"... She proceeds to wax poetic about how much she likes Buffett and how she likes everything about him except that he's a democrat and she's a republican. ...I'm just sitting there, in the same position I was in while I was reading...arms folded, elbows on the table...being pleasant enough, trying to treat her just like any other person...answer her questions and ask a few in return...no flirting coming from me... ...after about 2 minutes of this, it's obvious to a very clueless guy like me that (i) she's buzzed (at a minimum), (ii) she's smart, (iii) she's very pretty, (iv) she wants to take me home... Frankly, I'm pretty flattered, as I have NEVER had any woman pay this sort of attention to me at any point in the last 10-15 years (if ever). I'm also a bit mortified. ...her friend comes over (she's obviously sober)...looks at me and asks me, "Are you married?" ...I say yes, happily; I have four kids... ...the friend asks me if her friend is behaving herself... ...she tries to get her friend to get up; her friend doesn't move and stays planted on the bench seat next to me... ...after a little more chit-chat, she tells me that it was nice to meet me and shakes my hand to leave... ...I turn back to my book, but my brain is just racing..."wow, this is really BIZARRE!"... ...after about 2-3 minutes, I look around the bar, and do not see her anywhere... ...I turn back to the book... ...about 2-3 minutes later, she's sitting next to me again, telling me that she just got mad at some guy who thought that Warren Buffett was Jimmy Buffett... ...I proceed to wax philosophic about how "understanding" is not related to IQ points... ...she comments that my wife must be amazing... ...I assure her that it's true... ...her friend asks what I'm doing here if I'm happily married...I tell them both the truth; my wife and kids are at my inlaws and have been for two weeks.. ...then, the good looking asks me if I have any friends like me that she could meet... ...and I tell her that "its more important to be the right person than it is to meet the right person"... ...the one thanks me for my time, the other apologizes for her friend... ...both friends leave... ...I read for a few more minutes, finish my second beer, pay the tab, and leave... ...I tell the waiter on the way out the door how bizarre that was...that I'm a married man with four kids... ...he tells me that he thought I knew them and apologized for not "saving me"... ...I told him that it was fine, just bizarre... ...he tells me to hurry up and get to my car, because they're still sitting on the patio... ...I walk calmly to the car, get in and head home... Sanitized version muck should tell the wife. No charge for this service, muck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 When I was in the band, I would get propositioned a couple of times a month. Sometimes they were knockouts, sometimes they were heinous. Sometime sI reacted like you did muck, sometimes I laughed in their faces. I never took up any of the offers as I was married at the time. The first couple of times, I told my wife about it. After that, I only told her if there was something truly unique about the encounter. All I can say is that Ms Cid always appreciated the honesty and I suspect that she also appreciated me not drowning her with nightly tales. The point is I believe that muckette will appreciate you telling her even though I'm certain she has no doubts about your fidelity. I would however, cut out much of the details and downplay the encounter a bit. Just tell it as an amusing anecdote and you'll be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Seems to me that Warren Buffett is an f'n troublemaker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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