Honoring the wishes of a dying man

[muck]

Cousin just died.

 

He has a 4yr old son.

 

He bought a torn-apart 1967 Mustang with the idea of rebuilding it for his son when he turns 16. It's still in parts/pieces.

 

It'd cost around $30k to rebuild it / repaint it / etc.

 

They'd have to store it for 12yrs.

 

Should the widow and extended family have to deal with this headache ... or ... should they gladly do whatever they could to honor the last wish this dad had for his little boy?

[Puddy]

From your original thread you mentioned that he didn't have life insurance. It seems like quite a financial burden for his widow to deal with that. Now if she had a million dollar policy then sure...get it done.

[dmarc117]

why not spread the redo over time. or maybe ask a local shop for help. or take it to a local high school for the shop kids to work on. or a trade school that specializes in those things.

[Hugh 0ne]

He wanted this for his son. I think she should do everything she can to make that happen.

[tazinib1]

why not spread the redo over time. or maybe ask a local shop for help. or take it to a local high school for the shop kids to work on. or a trade school that specializes in those things.

 

This

[Chief Dick]

why not spread the redo over time. or maybe ask a local shop for help. or take it to a local high school for the shop kids to work on. or a trade school that specializes in those things.

 

 

He wanted this for his son. I think she should do everything she can to make that happen.

 

Both of these.

 

 

Right now, it's just a car. Later on, for a 16 year old boy, it's his dad.

 

Keep the car.

[Duchess Jack]

was it really his 'dying wish' or something that he wanted to do for his son that didn't get done?

did she agree to it?

are they really stuggling finance wise?

was he a responsible husband/father before he past?

[dmarc117]

Both of these.

 

 

Right now, it's just a car. Later on, for a 16 year old boy, it's his dad.

Keep the car.

 

 

plus a bazillion. if she does get rid of it, never, never let the kid know when he gets older imo.

[geeteebee]

I think it is up to the wife. If she wants and can afford to keep the car then she should. It could be a great memory of her late husband. However, if she can't afford it or doesn't want to be burdened with it then she should get rid of it. If a family member doesn't want her to get rid of it, then they should buy it from her, take on the financial burden and give the car to the son in 12 years. dmarc's idea above is a good one. Call a trade school or community college that teaches auto mechanics and see if they want to use it as a project.

 

Regardless of what she decides, the family should not make her feel that her choice is a poor one. The kid could very well not be interested in cars and feel no sentimental value towards it.

[Perchoutofwater]

I think it is up to the wife. If she wants and can afford to keep the car then she should. It could be a great memory of her late husband. However, if she can't afford it or doesn't want to be burdened with it then she should get rid of it. If a family member doesn't want her to get rid of it, then they should buy it from her, take on the financial burden and give the car to the son in 12 years. dmarc's idea above is a good one. Call a trade school or community college that teaches auto mechanics and see if they want to use it as a project.

 

Regardless of what she decides, the family should not make her feel that her choice is a poor one. The kid could very well not be interested in cars and feel no sentimental value towards it.

 

Best answer so far

[SayItAintSoJoe]

If the man just passed recently she shouldn't do anything regarding it for at least 6 months to a year. She should take time to get her mind (and finances) right before making her decision.

[dmarc117]

If the man just passed recently she shouldn't do anything regarding it for at least 6 months to a year. She should take time to get her mind (and finances) right before making her decision.

 

 

this is true. stick it in the garage or ask a friend/relative who has space to hold it for a few months.

[matt770]

This is really tough. I understand honoring a dying wish, but we're talking about a $30K expense that really should have been discussed thoroughly before the man died. Did he leave any provisions for how to pay for it? Would this be his wish even if it means going to into deep debt? Or sacrificing necessities like the kid's soccer cleats, or college tuition? There is a point where dreams meet reality.

[muck]

I was curious how you guys would respond.

 

His brother is planning on garaging it and finishing the bulk of the work and then figuring out how/where to store it so that the boy's mom doesn't have to think about it. Apparently, several of my cousins friends are pitching in to help pay (or pay entirely) for the costs.

 

In my opinion, it's easy for the friends to say "yeah, I'll cover the paint job" (or whatever), until they get the invoice and actually have to cough up the money, in say three years when the car is ready to be painted...

 

My cousin did set aside a bunch of cash to pay for it, but I know that if his wife could use that $$ for other stuff, it would be helpful. He had no life insurance, but it appears they did have a bit of savings (but not much) outside of the cash he squirrelled away for the car.

[geeteebee]

I was curious how you guys would respond.

 

His brother is planning on garaging it and finishing the bulk of the work and then figuring out how/where to store it so that the boy's mom doesn't have to think about it. Apparently, several of my cousins friends are pitching in to help pay (or pay entirely) for the costs.

 

In my opinion, it's easy for the friends to say "yeah, I'll cover the paint job" (or whatever), until they get the invoice and actually have to cough up the money, in say three years when the car is ready to be painted...

 

My cousin did set aside a bunch of cash to pay for it, but I know that if his wife could use that $$ for other stuff, it would be helpful. He had no life insurance, but it appears they did have a bit of savings (but not much) outside of the cash he squirrelled away for the car.

 

 

 

Even if he left some cash that he intended to use for restoring the car, I still think she needs to consider the needs of her son. The guy may have been a car nut with little fiscal sense and using the money to provide for their son may be a real necessity. Now if friends or relatives are offering to do it, I think that is great and may create a real family bond...as long as nobody holds it against her that she used the money for other things.

[westvirginia]

I was curious how you guys would respond.

 

His brother is planning on garaging it and finishing the bulk of the work and then figuring out how/where to store it so that the boy's mom doesn't have to think about it. Apparently, several of my cousins friends are pitching in to help pay (or pay entirely) for the costs.

 

In my opinion, it's easy for the friends to say "yeah, I'll cover the paint job" (or whatever), until they get the invoice and actually have to cough up the money, in say three years when the car is ready to be painted...

 

My cousin did set aside a bunch of cash to pay for it, but I know that if his wife could use that $ for other stuff, it would be helpful. He had no life insurance, but it appears they did have a bit of savings (but not much) outside of the cash he squirrelled away for the car.

 

Firstly, muck, my Father has a '56 Ford F-100 big-back window truck that was appraised at something like $37K, and he only put abouy $16k into it, so $30K is WAY off the mark for the kid to have a driver. Just to put a little perspective on it.

 

Secondly, I'm with a mixture of the above. #1, don't do anything until the emotions settle down. #2, if someone can store it, piddling with it in their spare time, that would be a good start. #3, The kids attitude about such things need to be a little firmer before a decision is made, really, unless the funds are just not there. My $.02

[Duchess Jack]

again, I need to ask. was it among his honest to goodness last requests and did she agree to do it when it was requested?

[Savage Beatings]

I would suggest that she store the car as is (help her find someplace to just throw a tarp over it and let it sit for 12 years, either for free or for close to free). Then instead of paying $30,000 to restore the car, let the kid work on it himself when he gets old enough (probably around 15 years old or so). That way, he can take his time, use his own hands, and make a connection with his Father while he works on it.

[cre8tiff]

why not spread the redo over time. or maybe ask a local shop for help. or take it to a local high school for the shop kids to work on. or a trade school that specializes in those things.

 

This right here is a winner.

[The Wolf]

From your original thread you mentioned that he didn't have life insurance. It seems like quite a financial burden for his widow to deal with that. Now if she had a million dollar policy then sure...get it done.

 

What he said. And my condolences on your cousin's passing, Muck.

[billay]

I would suggest that she store the car as is (help her find someplace to just throw a tarp over it and let it sit for 12 years, either for free or for close to free). Then instead of paying $30,000 to restore the car, let the kid work on it himself when he gets old enough (probably around 15 years old or so). That way, he can take his time, use his own hands, and make a connection with his Father while he works on it.

+1

[dmarc117]

i think the best thing to do is keep it, store it, and wait a few months to decide what to do. when my fil passed, he was working on an old ford p/u. that was 3y ago. my mil just kept it in the garage and did nothing. last week, my bil took it to his garage to finish the job.

[MrTed46]

He wanted this for his son. I think she should do everything she can to make that happen.

 

+1.

 

Unless it can't be done, do it as a memorable memory for his son. I would do it, if I could.

[polksalet]

I lack the wisdom to answer this question.

[rajncajn]

Why not just hold on to the car and let the son rebuild it when he is old enough? It would give him a greater appreciation for the car as well as a great sense of accomplishment and create a stronger bond with what his father left for him. Also, maybe by that time it would be a little more financially possible and it would give him something to keep him out of trouble.