Chavez Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 (edited) Decent little article, especially as a guide to someone like me who finds the bulk of ESPN's programming these days too concerned with "branding" and kissing the ass of athletes than with good, hard sports news. Think I'm the only one? Then why did they stop airing ESPN2 when Sportscenter is one, hmmm? Anyway... Czabe's list of ESPN personalities who do not suckBy Steve Czaban ESPN is without question, the single "go-to" channel on our remotes. Every night, before venturing out into our beloved 500-channel cable universe to forage for some entertainment, we almost always check in at ESPN - just to make sure, you know? So for a channel that is always on, and with men being the hyper-competitive, argument-starting sorts that we are, it's only natural that various ESPN personalities would start to grate on our nerves. These talking heads are like roommates to us - messy, loud, inconsiderate roommates at times. These are people we think we "know" all too well, whose shortcomings and idiosyncrasies are right out in the open night after night. So the ESPN personalities that we often loathe with a passion, could, in reality, be the greatest guys you've ever met in person. You never know. One enterprising Web site has taken the time to bracket a "Field of 64" to find out the most annoying ESPN personality of them all: bravesbeat.com/bravesjournal/bristol I've read the entries, and they contain some fairly astute commentary. They also include some wild speculation and bitter personal bias. All in all, it's a pretty good list of who does indeed "suck" on the mighty intergalactic sports destroyer known as "Bristol 1," as a former co-worker called them. So you don't need me piling on here. Instead, I thought I would create the first-ever definitive list of "ESPN Personalities Who Do Not Suck." I'm sure I'll get killed for some of these, but at least this list can serve as a beginning point toward a consensus opinion down the road. Just remember, "don't hate, appreciate." Dan Patrick: Putting his radio show entirely aside (since it's a totally different discussion) it's almost impossible to knock the smooth delivery and broad knowledge of ESPN's second best head of hair behind Mel Kiper, Jr. When Patrick is sitting on the desk of SportsCenter, you know it will be an intelligent, easy listen. Scott Van Pelt: Perhaps he's a bit too smug for some, but I'm a big fan. He's also the best impressionist in the entire shop. The Steven A. Smith impersonation (Howevah! Howevah!) is so dead on, I almost cry. Too bad it seems management has put the kibosh on even good natured intramural ribbing by personalities. Useful shot, useful. John Anderson: I wasn't a fan at first, but he's very consistent, and never puts himself ahead of the story. Sal Palantonio: A reporter's reporter, Sal Pal really gets good NFL scoops in just about any city, but he's got his hometown of Philly wired. He's not afraid to interject a personal opinion or two in his reports, though his opinions are rarely overly strident or lecturing. Here's the facts, here's my opinion, I'm not here to shove it down your throat. Chris Fowler: Does any host on the network prepare better, deliver smoother, or subjugate personal glory better than Fowler on College GameDay? There's a reason why that show is so tight, and it ain't Lee Corso building up to his donning of a mascot head at the end. It's Fowler. Michael Wilbon: Its almost like black personalities on ESPN can only be bombastically "urban" or lifelessly homogenized. There's no middle ground on this, except Wilbon. Mike has an excellent feel for issues of race, but doesn't live his life while "keeping score." He manages to be cool without being a hip-hop slang parrot. Bob Ryan: More writer than TV head, Ryan still delivers more intelligent opinions than anybody else on the network every time he opens his mouth. Even when I disagree with Ryan on something, I make sure to re-examine MY OWN opinion first, because I respect his that much. Ron Jaworski: Does he seem like a nice guy on the air? That's because he's even nicer off the air. Jaws brings unassailable football knowledge to the air without a hint of narcissism. Notice how in the rare case where Jaws refers to his own playing days, the point is seldom about him or how good he was. Mel Kiper, Jr.: Draft geek? No life? Mr. Know-It-All? Yes, yes, and yes. And what's your point? Unlike some "experts" on ESPN who are simply cashing in on limited name recognition, Kiper is a self-made man. He puts in the hours (and hours) to know what he knows, and rarely makes opinions on players personal in nature. Jay Bilas:, A former D-1 college player with a law degree and the ability to make concise points on camera. He also talks to plenty of coaches and delivers game and program analysis that blows every other college hoop analyst in Bristol out of the water. Bonus points for being able to bury any "Duke bias" in his commentary. Peter Gammons: This choice will no doubt draw the most fire from some of you, but here goes. I think Gammons can speak to a broad baseball audience at once, without speaking down to the more casual seamheads like me. While I'm sure he has an ego, it seldom consumes the point he's making. While Gammons is certainly no argument-ending "final answer" on baseball matters, you can't ignore his wealth of experience and contacts. So there.... that's my list, for what it is worth. Eleven guys at ESPN, who almost certainly do not "suck." I'm sure that there are many others who could have made the "do not suck" list, but I wanted this to be a list that almost everybody can agree on. Now you are free to let me know how much I suck. Thank you. I for one give a big "hell yeah" on the Wilbon, Gammons, Jaws, and Fowler nods. I've always sorta found Bob Ryan to come across as a pudknocker though (at least on-air). Edited July 28, 2005 by Chavez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainHook Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Does Gammons ever talk about anything else but the Red Sox? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks21 Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Yea I'm really quite fond of just about everyone on that list. However, I don't know how Clayton and Pasquerelli can be left off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I like Berman and Jackson. And Linda Cohn is cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 I don't have any issues with Cohn herself; I DO have issues with those who find her a stone-cold fox - she's not awful-looking or anything, but she's a 2nd or 3rd tier MILF at best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainHook Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Who in the hell thinks Cohn is a fox???? That chick is dog-ugly. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 Oh, anyway - Berman's schtick is SOOOOOOOOOOOO played out; TJ knows his stuff and keeps the hi-jinks to a minimum, but both of those guys lost a lot of my respect with their whole gutless approach to the Limbaugh affair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 I hear murmurs at times about Cohn; not too loud, because although she's a first-class anchor, any talk of her being "hot" in my presence will result in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brentastic Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Decent little article, especially as a guide to someone like me who finds the bulk of ESPN's programming these days too concerned with "branding" and kissing the ass of athletes than with good, hard sports news. Think I'm the only one? Then why did they stop airing ESPN2 when Sportscenter is one, hmmm? Anyway... I for one give a big "hell yeah" on the Wilbon, Gammons, Jaws, and Fowler nods. I've always sorta found Bob Ryan to come across as a pudknocker though (at least on-air). 898318[/snapback] Totally agree with you on every one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brentastic Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I'll add that I'm a big fan of Solomon Wolcotts and Sterling Sharpe on NFL Playbook. They have some new guy this year, don't know who he is, I'm sure he's a former player. Seems like Sterling was annoyed by him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhippens Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 i also agree that clayton would be on my list. i think he gets carried away from time to time with certain "homeristic" rants, but overall, that guy knows his stuff and is well trusted by a lot of baseball folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I don't have any issues with Cohn herself; I DO have issues with those who find her a stone-cold fox - she's not awful-looking or anything, but she's a 2nd or 3rd tier MILF at best. 898338[/snapback] C'mon... there's something hot about a woman who knows her sports. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 I'll always give points for knowing sports, but face it, that's the gravy on the icing in most cases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainHook Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I'll always give points for knowing sports, but face it, that's the gravy on the icing in most cases. 898446[/snapback] I thought it was the cherry on the pie. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charty Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Yea I'm really quite fond of just about everyone on that list. However, I don't know how Clayton and Pasquerelli can be left off. 898329[/snapback] My guess is Clayton and Pasquerelli are considered writers, even though they make plenty of TV appearances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loaf Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 colber? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I don't have any issues with Cohn herself; I DO have issues with those who find her a stone-cold fox - she's not awful-looking or anything, but she's a 2nd or 3rd tier MILF at best. 898338[/snapback] Anyone else think she's been enhanced upstairs recently? I like Kolber best. For me there's Jaws and everyone else. Nobody breaks down film like that guy. Nobody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeductiveNun Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 What, no love for Jill Arrington? Guess that just leave more for me. She wants me, she just doesn't know it yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vote Quimby2 Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Dig Jaws and Chlareth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTen Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 (edited) Really like the way Jaws breaks things down. One guy that I hate is Steven A. Smith. He is a loud mouth idiot. Now he has his own show. What is ESPN thinking? Edited July 28, 2005 by BigTen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goopster24 Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Oh, anyway - Berman's schtick is SOOOOOOOOOOOO played out; TJ knows his stuff and keeps the hi-jinks to a minimum, but both of those guys lost a lot of my respect with their whole gutless approach to the Limbaugh affair. 898344[/snapback] I here ya with that. I'm a huge McNabb fan and when I heard that I was quite surprised they didn't say anything. That said, I love Jaws. He knows what he is talking about and is always camera friendly. Anyone else sick of John Clayton? He looks like a freak. And him and Salisbury need to get a room: to duke it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huddlebuckeye Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I hate Stephen A. Smith too, he is terrible, talks like a moron and sucks. At the time I don't think Limbaugh was necessarily wrong, but McNabb has certainly come a long way since then. As for TJ, his bombastic discourse the next week, his bad person personality in person and his terrible wardrobe have turned me off to him. I miss the 4 man NFL primetime and hope Al Michaels join sin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goopster24 Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I hate Stephen A. Smith too, he is terrible, talks like a moron and sucks. . 898974[/snapback] Oh yea, I forgot bout him. He is horrrrible. He just sounds plain STUpid. Anyone see him on Jim rome is Burning? I wanted to cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duchess Jack Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Suzy - but I would like to think that she sucks as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fenokee Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I think Harold Reynolds deserves some recognition. He's a class act. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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