H8tank Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 So which is better, Rome or Barcelona? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missoula Griz Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 I have never been over seas. Very interesting read. Keep them coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easy n Dirty Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 You missed your calling spain, this is just great stuff. Enjoy your trip and keep the reports coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Spain = Anthony Bourdain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 We stopped in Livorno, Italy yesterday. Most folks were catching busses up to Florence to see David, but I have already been there. So, I walked along the shore in Livorno. You think the WOP’s in the United States are lazy? These real Eye-talians do nothing all day but hang out at the beach, smoke cigarettes and argue over the best way to make Linquini in clam sauce! If I could talk with my hands, and had more body hair and a larger schween, I would swear that my ancestors must be from Italy! These are my kind of peeps! Bon Vivants who love to sit around and talk Sega! all day long! I definitely love this country and will be coming here again and again. After a massage at the Spa, we decided to catch a train up to Pisa. I don’t like doing the ships excursions and prefer to explore things on my own. So, we hop a bus that we think will take us to the train station in Livorno and then train it up to Pisa. Well, I have a keen eye for the obvious and realize after riding out into the countryside for a good 30 minutes that the bus we are on isn’t going to any train station. So, I stand up and ask if anybody speaks English. Everyone, including the driver shakes their heads that they don’t. I don’t have any idea how to say train station in Eye-talian. So, I start moving my arms like pistons and say “chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga, Choo Choooooooooo! Obviously this is the international symbol for train because they all immediately point in the direction from which we had just come. Driver stops and we get off the bus and catch another bus going back to town. Everybody on that bus was laughing at us crazy Americans. BTW, don’t bother buying bus or train tickets here. Nobody ever asks you for a ticket. Really odd but cabs are the only transportation I have ever paid for in Italy. We make the 25 minute train trip up to Pisa. To get to the famous leaning Tower, you simply walk about a mile through town and there it is. And that sommitch is definitely shanked. A mega dose of Viagra and dozen cranes aint going to get that bad boy up again. Bob Dole has a better chance of another erection that that Tower does. I climbed up to the top of it and got a great view. The only thing I could think is “only in Italy”. If this tower was built in Germany, they would have had a legion of engineers all over that thing until they got it straight as a pin. If it was in the United States, we would have torn it down and replaced it with a strip mall and a Walmart. If it were in France, they would have pretended it was straight and thought you a fool for challenging their superior building skills. But in Italy, they surround it with park benches and make it into another must see historic shrine. Only in Italy! Today we are going to rent Vespa’s and ride up the Amalfi coast. This is one of my favorite places in Italy. Lots of folks are going on the 30 minute boat ride over to Positano but I would rather take my life into my hands by riding along the narrow and dangerous coastal roads. The drivers here are for Sega! but I aint that good a driver either! So flock em! More later… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 So, I start moving my arms like pistons and say “chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga, Choo Choooooooooo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 (edited) Spain , this may be the early favorite for post of the year ....this is really great reading Still laughing over viagra and crane comment for leaning tower of pisa Edited August 16, 2007 by isleseeya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 These real Eye-talians do nothing all day but hang out at the beach, smoke cigarettes and argue over the best way to make Linquini in clam sauce! Meh, close enough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 When people ask me where they should go in Italy, I always say: for the history, culture, architecture, nightlife, etc you must go to Rome. But if you want to see the beauty of Italy, you must to Amalfi. It is simply amazing. It is a large mountain chain rising out of the Med with a spectacular city built in, around, and on top. It is the most beautiful place on the Med. They filmed a lot of the scenes from the movie “Under the Tuscan Sun” here. We went to Amalfi today and walked through the shopping district, past the cathedral and all the way up to the top. We stopped at one of the many al fresco restraunts and drank Lemonchello’s. They grow enormous Lemons here the size of cantaloupes and this is the place of the Lemonchello factory. They are served in chilled shot glasses and will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. We ate and drank wine too up there too. The food here will not be mistaken for Pizza Hut or Papa Johns. Then I rented a mo-ped and drove to Positano! As laid back and relaxed as Italians are normally, they are insane behind the wheel of a vehicle. Well, you know the saying, “when in Rome, do as the Romans”. So, I drove like a bat at of hell all over arguably the most beautiful and most dangerous road in the world. The views are breathtaking on that road. But you take your life into your own hands driving up there. Let me say, the Italians took their lives into their own hands by letting me drive on it. My wife is still not talking to me. Well, other than the occasional, “you idiot, redneck, drunk, jackass, maniac, etc. I am guessing a SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS !!! tonight is out of the question. But it never hurts to ask. Tomorrow we go to Messina, Sicily. I want to rent mopeds again but my wife said if I do that we are getting divorced. Tough call at this point but I will keep you posted. I have lots of WOP friends, none of whom could find Italy with a world atlas and a bevy of travel agents. Oh sure, they fly the tri-colored Italian flag, wear their shirts unbuttoned to far so you can see their Eye-talian love horn tangled in their thick and matted chest hair, and profess to be 100% Italian. And yet, they have never been to Italy. To those of you who fall into this category, let me just say: Blah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I may not have a 300 pound grandmother with a mustache and the perpetual smell of garlic on her, but I have been to Italy 3 times now and you haven’t! Italian my ass! You can’t even find your way to the Jersey shore much less across the pond! Oh well, at least you can ask me questions when I get back home! Hate da game, not da playa! More later! I will answer all questions in this thread when I return, so be patient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 So, I start moving my arms like pistons and say “chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga, Choo Choooooooooo! Obviously this is the international symbol for train because they all immediately point in the direction from which we had just come. Driver stops and we get off the bus and catch another bus going back to town. Everybody on that bus was laughing at us crazy Americans. This as an important a victory in the Culture War as having a Hooters open in Beijing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Then I rented a mo-ped Nice pink football pants, homo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChuckB Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 We stopped in Livorno, Italy yesterday. Most folks were catching busses up to Florence to see David, but I have already been there. So, I walked along the shore in Livorno. You think the WOP’s in the United States are lazy? These real Eye-talians do nothing all day but hang out at the beach, smoke cigarettes and argue over the best way to make Linquini in clam sauce! If I could talk with my hands, and had more body hair and a larger schween, I would swear that my ancestors must be from Italy! These are my kind of peeps! Bon Vivants who love to sit around and talk Sega! all day long! I definitely love this country and will be coming here again and again. After a massage at the Spa, we decided to catch a train up to Pisa. I don’t like doing the ships excursions and prefer to explore things on my own. So, we hop a bus that we think will take us to the train station in Livorno and then train it up to Pisa. Well, I have a keen eye for the obvious and realize after riding out into the countryside for a good 30 minutes that the bus we are on isn’t going to any train station. So, I stand up and ask if anybody speaks English. Everyone, including the driver shakes their heads that they don’t. I don’t have any idea how to say train station in Eye-talian. So, I start moving my arms like pistons and say “chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga, Choo Choooooooooo! Obviously this is the international symbol for train because they all immediately point in the direction from which we had just come. Driver stops and we get off the bus and catch another bus going back to town. Everybody on that bus was laughing at us crazy Americans. BTW, don’t bother buying bus or train tickets here. Nobody ever asks you for a ticket. Really odd but cabs are the only transportation I have ever paid for in Italy. We make the 25 minute train trip up to Pisa. To get to the famous leaning Tower, you simply walk about a mile through town and there it is. And that sommitch is definitely shanked. A mega dose of Viagra and dozen cranes aint going to get that bad boy up again. Bob Dole has a better chance of another erection that that Tower does. I climbed up to the top of it and got a great view. The only thing I could think is “only in Italy”. If this tower was built in Germany, they would have had a legion of engineers all over that thing until they got it straight as a pin. If it was in the United States, we would have torn it down and replaced it with a strip mall and a Walmart. If it were in France, they would have pretended it was straight and thought you a fool for challenging their superior building skills. But in Italy, they surround it with park benches and make it into another must see historic shrine. Only in Italy! Today we are going to rent Vespa’s and ride up the Amalfi coast. This is one of my favorite places in Italy. Lots of folks are going on the 30 minute boat ride over to Positano but I would rather take my life into my hands by riding along the narrow and dangerous coastal roads. The drivers here are for Sega! but I aint that good a driver either! So flock em! More later… With Vespa's advertising, I can see why you like them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChuckB Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 (edited) Wow it looks like after renting his moped Spain went crazy and stole some stuff, Italians don't go for this sort of thing, we may not be hearing from him for a while......Link Edited August 16, 2007 by ChuckB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 So, I start moving my arms like pistons and say “chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga, Choo Choooooooooo! Obviously this is the international symbol for train because they all immediately point in the direction from which we had just come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codwagon Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 My God. Espresso sipping, people watching, chilled Lemoncello shooting and Vespa riding? When did the prototypical southern male become so effeminate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 If he goes to WCOFF, Video of a reenactment MUST be gotten and put on youtube. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 If he goes to WCOFF, Video of a reenactment MUST be gotten and put on youtube. Consider it done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 Linquini What is it with you and q's for g's? Is this an inside Huddle joke that I am just not getting? Oh, and Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted August 18, 2007 Author Share Posted August 18, 2007 Well, the wife and I made a truce with regard to my operation of 2 wheeled vehicles in Europe. I agreed that playing games of chicken with large trucks and taking dangerous hairpin turns at high rates of speed on narrow roads overlooking 1000 foot drops was probably not the safest way to drive in Italy. She agreed not to divorce me as long as I didn’t drive anymore motorcycles. So, when we get to Sicily we take the one of the ship’s bus tours from Messina over to Taormina. I regretted not renting a motorcycle again as soon as we got on the coastal road to Taormina. It wasn’t as winding and dangerous as the one in Amalfi, but it was a beautiful drive. We drove past the little town where Frances Ford Coppola filmed parts of the Godfather movies. I spent the rest of the day using my spot on impression of Marlon Brando as Don Corleone. I had everyone in stitches except for my wife who has heard this impression a million times and is not easily impressed. Taormina is my wife’s favorite town in all of Italy. It is an absolute must do. Messina has very few sites, but Taormina is incredible. We went to a 3000 year old Greek Ampha theatre that is simply amazing. This one only holds 6000 people, but Liza Minelli was playing there this weekend. There are a couple of others in Sicily that are just as old and hold 16000 people. The views from up there are something to behold. While we were there Mt Etna starting smoking from 2 of its 4 craters. Etna is the 2nd most active volcano in the world, next to Mt Kilaweua in Hawaii, which I have also been to. The local guide said that although Etna erupts every year, it is not dangerous. I told him that is exactly what the residents of Pompeii said right before Vesuvius burned them alive. He looked at me with a horrified look on his face so I assured him I was teasing and he PROBABLY had nothing to worry about. There are a lot of ancient roads and sites and shops up there. We stopped at an al fresco café that had the most gorgeous overlook view of the bay down below that I have ever seen. We sucked back a couple of Lemonchello’s and just sat there in awe. What was really awe inspiring was the check when I discovered the reason they didn’t have prices on the menu was that the Lemonchello’s there are $17 a piece! I guess we had to pay for the ambiance and the view, but I only wanted to rent it for awhile, not take the sommitch home! Everyone on this ship is now using words that they have heard me say! Euphemisms like F.O.P’s and “This is SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS !!!ing Brutal” have become well engrained parts of the ships lexicon. I think I’ve met all 680 onboard much to my wife’s chagrin. Yesterday I assisted this lady with her 29 year old handicapped daughter on and off the bus several times. Well, not so much assist as I had to pick up this rather large full grown woman who suffers with cerebral palsy and schlep her up 4 steps onto the bus. The busses and buildings here don’t make accommodation for the physically challenged. So, they struggled to get around, but were with 4 other girlfriends and were having a great time. We all became fast friends and they are a fun group and are some of my favorites onboard. Today we were in Malta. I was really disappointed because I never did see any of those cute little dogs. I guess Michael Vick must have been here before me. And not only did I not see any falcons, I never even saw a bird. Malta is old and has been conquered by everyone at one time or another. They speak Matese and English and the English influence is very apparent. I never can get used to people who drive on the wrong side of the road. That is SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS !!!ing brutal! We took a bus over to see the Dhingli cliffs and then went to a glass blowing place. That was very cool. But my wife blew the budget buying a lot of that hand blown glass. Why do woman love to buy stupid Sega!? Can somebody answer me that one simple question? Do we really need another glass turtle? For the love of god, if I have a piece of glass in my hand, it will be filled with beer. Oh, yes, we drank some of their local beer and it was very good. It was a lager that tasted a little like Haufavisen. Tomorrow is a day at sea. After that we go to the Greek Isles. We are going to Santorini and then Athens. I have never been to Greece and am really looking forward to this part of the trip. More later… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 btw- items are more expensive at cafes when you decide to sit vs. stand at the bar....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameltosis Posted August 20, 2007 Share Posted August 20, 2007 btw- items are more expensive at cafes when you decide to sit vs. stand at the bar....... Yep, I learned this one the hardway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSULions Posted August 21, 2007 Share Posted August 21, 2007 Sounds like you are having an awesome trip.... I sent you a PM about the upcoming Hannibals draft and some people are concerned about your status prior to starting the draft on Monday 8/27. Can your let me know via PM or stop by the MB to let the guys know? Thanks and Ciao! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeeman Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 this is one of the most entertaining threads I've seen around here for a long time, for me anyway.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Truly metrosexual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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