H8tank Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I piss more outdoors than in. I do take more dumps indoors though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swashbucklers Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I hate peeing on the soap puck (#4) ... I seem to get lots of "spray" when I do ... I've seen a friend of mine lean into the wall, place a hand about forehead-high (or higher) to steady himself ... apparently it improves the aim. Food for thought. 1256611[/snapback] Go to a hole-in-the-wall bar and look at the wall above the urinal. There is always boogers caked on the wall, so I prefer to touch as few things in the restroom as possible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 i notice that trying to eat a hot bowl of soup while standing at the urinal is very difficult ...but a man has to eat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunther Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I've never figured out why I do #2 sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 1. The urinal buffer zone - Guys will often stand one urinal away from the next guy when going in a public bathroom. Is it because we are scared we may look over at another guy's johnson or do we not want to get the urine of others splashed all over our pants? Nobody knows. It's because we don't want some other guy looking at our johnson and we don't want them to think we're looking at theirs. Nothing I can't stand more than a guy who comes & stands elbow-to-elbow with you & wants to hold a conversation. 2. The race - Sometimes I will flush the toilet right as I start to pee. I try to race the toilet to see if I can finish peeing before the water completely flushes. Never tried that one. 3. The porcelain mute - While peeing, if you aim for the porcelain inside the toilet instead of the water, it makes a lot less noise. Does everyone do this or am I just weird? Less splash that way 4. The soap puck - When peeing in a urinal that has one of those pink soap bars at the bottom, it is fun to pee on the edge of it to make it move. I don't know why. Guilty 5. The little kids ass - Usually little kids don't know how to use the zipper or the little hole through underwear, so they'll pull their pants all the way down to their ankles when using a urinal. So often times, you'll walk into the bathroom and get an eye full of some little kid's ass. What a perv...honestly never noticed a kids ass when walking into a bathroom 6. Watering the plants - When peeing outside near a plant, I don't usually pee just around the plant or at the base of it. For some reason I feel a strange urge to cover the entire plant in urine... no idea why. Never done it. Usually when I pee outside it's cuz I'm drunk & when I'm drunk I couldn't care less what I pee on. I have been known to see how high & far I can get it. 7. The melt - When peeing in a urinal that has ice in it, it is (for some reason) fun to see how much ice you can melt before you're finished. Yep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 At my local hangout, the bathroom only has one urinal, no toliet either. There is a place to stand and watch which most people do. I basically tell them that I get the stage fright, and ask them to step outside. If they don't I just say that I will stand there with my dick in my hand until they leave. My friends and I have talked about this, why do some people think it okay to just stand there? 1256753[/snapback] I'm the same way. Imagine how bad it was for me when I had to take a piss test for work & the doc had to stand there and watch. God I hope I never have to do that again. Don't know what it is, if someone is within my comfort zone while I gotta go it just will not happen...period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonehand Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 i notice that trying to eat a hot bowl of soup while standing at the urinal is very difficult ...but a man has to eat 1257052[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampnuts Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I hate the old fashioned urinals that go all the way down to the floor. I'll won't use those with somebody next to me because I freak out if somebody splashes on my shoes. I only use the hand-on-wall manuever at home in the morning. The worst thing I ever witnessed involving a urinal was a dude passed out drunk under one ( face down ) at the Kingdome. You could see that he had tried to get up but had pushed his face through all the pee grime on the floor. The image haunts me still........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I've never figured out why I do #2 sometimes. 1257400[/snapback] If you don't go #2 you tend to get miserable and grumpy and your stomach starts to bother you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowboysDiehard Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 Why does this thread keep floating to the surface? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 The worst thing I ever witnessed involving a urinal was a dude passed out drunk under one ( face down ) at the Kingdome. You could see that he had tried to get up but had pushed his face through all the pee grime on the floor. The image haunts me still........ 1257576[/snapback] Some things are better left untold. :doah: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampnuts Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 Some things are better left untold. :doah: 1257644[/snapback] I thought if I got this off my chest, it would allow me to heal and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiggieFries Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 I hate the old fashioned urinals that go all the way down to the floor. I'll won't use those with somebody next to me because I freak out if somebody splashes on my shoes. I only use the hand-on-wall manuever at home in the morning. The worst thing I ever witnessed involving a urinal was a dude passed out drunk under one ( face down ) at the Kingdome. You could see that he had tried to get up but had pushed his face through all the pee grime on the floor. The image haunts me still........ 1257576[/snapback] That reminds of one of my friends during a bachelor party. He was a mess and decided to use the rest room in Penn Station...during rush hour. He thought the urinal was a faucet/sink and tried to wash his hands with the trickling water from the urinal. I had to run in there and pull him out before the MTA cops went in and threw him in a drunk tank. That was a fun day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 Or this in college - having to use one where somebody had already puked in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWmaker Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 cigarette butt, YES. What I've always like to do while peeing into a toilet bowl, make lots of bubbles and create an island of bubbles in the center. No bubble can touch the side. Or if I'm in a creative mood, make artisitic designs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 1. The urinal buffer zone - Guys will often stand one urinal away from the next guy when going in a public bathroom. Is it because we are scared we may look over at another guy's johnson or do we not want to get the urine of others splashed all over our pants? Nobody knows. It's because we don't want some other guy looking at our johnson and we don't want them to think we're looking at theirs. Nothing I can't stand more than a guy who comes & stands elbow-to-elbow with you & wants to hold a conversation. 2. The race - Sometimes I will flush the toilet right as I start to pee. I try to race the toilet to see if I can finish peeing before the water completely flushes. Never tried that one. 3. The porcelain mute - While peeing, if you aim for the porcelain inside the toilet instead of the water, it makes a lot less noise. Does everyone do this or am I just weird? Less splash that way 4. The soap puck - When peeing in a urinal that has one of those pink soap bars at the bottom, it is fun to pee on the edge of it to make it move. I don't know why. Guilty 5. The little kids ass - Usually little kids don't know how to use the zipper or the little hole through underwear, so they'll pull their pants all the way down to their ankles when using a urinal. So often times, you'll walk into the bathroom and get an eye full of some little kid's ass. What a perv...honestly never noticed a kids ass when walking into a bathroom 6. Watering the plants - When peeing outside near a plant, I don't usually pee just around the plant or at the base of it. For some reason I feel a strange urge to cover the entire plant in urine... no idea why. Never done it. Usually when I pee outside it's cuz I'm drunk & when I'm drunk I couldn't care less what I pee on. I have been known to see how high & far I can get it. 7. The melt - When peeing in a urinal that has ice in it, it is (for some reason) fun to see how much ice you can melt before you're finished. Yep 1257545[/snapback] Pretty much my feelings, but I've been guilty of watering the plants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sores Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 Not too proud of this one....but.... I used to be very popular with my friends for a stunt I would perform at any bar....pee WHILE ordering a drink at the bar. I had to be pretty sauced to do it, and I realize now how disgusting it is...but it sure got laughs when I was 17/18 years old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonehand Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 i notice that trying to eat a hot bowl of soup while standing at the urinal is very difficult ...but a man has to eat 1257052[/snapback] So yesterday at the 'Hawks game, I'm going into the restroom, and this guy's coming out with a big-a$$ bowl of clam chowder. I was immediately reminded of this thread. Man, that just killed me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retrograde assault Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 If my dog can piss on it, I can too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 When my sons were 4 and 5 I walked into the bathroom one morning and they were seeing how far away they could arch it in. The little buggers were a good five feet away. Talk about the golden arches.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deacon Bill Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Go to a hole-in-the-wall bar and look at the wall above the urinal. There is always boogers caked on the wall, so I prefer to touch as few things in the restroom as possible! 1257031[/snapback] I've encountered this phenomenon at work. We call it the "booger wall of fame". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 (edited) There's always "hit the urinal flying insect", a real fun game at public (and not so clean) restrooms. A buddy of mine taught his two-and-a-half-year-old son how to pee properly by playing "criss-cross" with him. He told me it helped alot in potty-training him. Edited January 16, 2006 by Chargerz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetlips Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 The Gold Urinal Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I am president, I could have a gold urinal, too. But I wouldn't do something that self-induligible!" Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal. That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who pissed in your saxophone." (This made me laugh my head off........I mean think about it, Bill and Hillary getting into the same bed?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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