AtomicCEO Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 It is clear that your show is more important than your wife and that is why you just don't let the show run while she is talking. Don't give me that "But I'm giving her my undivided attention" crap! You love that f'n show more than you love her. Next time, prove it to her and turn the TV off. Better still, pull out a brick that you've hidden for just this moment and throw it through the screen. This will demonstrate that you love her more than your show. You are sure to get sex that night. I like angry sex. I guess you'd have to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 She calls me while she is grocery shopping to see if I need any more beer. She is always happy to cook whatever and whenever I want. She is constantly begging me for sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 She calls me while she is grocery shopping to see if I need any more beer. She is always happy to cook whatever and whenever I want. She is constantly begging me for sex. Q: How does H8 say goodnight to his wife? A: It puts the lotion in the basket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJoTheWebToedBoy Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Perhaps you should wake her up *before* having sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 (edited) 1. She waits until I'm almost asleep, or until I've picked up my book and read for about 5 minutes to tell me about her day. And then she takes about 10 times as long to tell me about it than it should. 2. She never sits still. I'm not sure if I love Tivo or hate Tivo. Now my wife will get up in the middle of a program and expect me to pause it as she leaves the room 10 times every hour to go get something or go tend to something that just can't wait until the show is over. 3. She talks of on the phone too loud and too long. I can hear my wife halfway across the house when she is talking on the phone. There are times when I have to pause the TV while she is on the phone, not so she doesn't miss something, but because I can't hear it. 4. When she does get pissed about something, she won't let it go. It is one thing to correct the children or for that matter even me. It is another thing entirely to go on and on about it for 10 minutes. She has beat more dead horse than Blitz in the Barbaro thread. 5. She has a horrible gag reflex. Dude, I'm feeling for you right now. How are you still married to her. Life sounds miserable for you. Oh and by the way another thing that drives me nuts that my wife does is she sets her alarm clock for an hour before she has to get up and then hits the snooze button every nine minutes when it goes off. 7 times that f*cker goes off 6:00, 6:09, 6:18, 6:27, 6:36, 6:45, 6:54 and then she finally gets up a little after 7:00 after it's gone off 7 times. I'm like and then I want to roll over and Edited April 10, 2007 by irish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 The wife can flat out cook but she will dirty every pot, pan, skillet and mixing bowl in the kitchen to make a meal. Does NOT clean as she goes. It is a four man job cleaning the kitchen after she is done making a meal. She says, "I cooked so I don't have to clean." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh B Tool Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 she asks me does this dress make me look fat? I say it's not the dress and that pisses her off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted April 10, 2007 Author Share Posted April 10, 2007 Whe I go for a grocery run and she calls me on my cell for an item she forgot to put on the list It never fails that I am on line to check out when the call comes in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Whe I go for a grocery run and she calls me on my cell and asks me what I'm wearing and if I'm touching myself. It never fails that I am on line to check out when the call comes in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted April 10, 2007 Author Share Posted April 10, 2007 Im usually in the nipple tassles isle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 It never fails that I am on line to check out when the call comes in I thought you actually went to the store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch Oven Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 My wife has an absolute inability to pick up after herself, but my top one is probably that she cannot shut a door quietly. She gets up before me in the morning, goes into the bedroom :slam:. Comes to bed after I'm asleep, :slam: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiggieFries Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 On the TV watching thing, my wife can't wait until a commercial to ask me a pointless question.... never has it been a question that could not wait the 5 minutes until commercial, but, if I say can you wait until the commercial she ges all pissy. That is why I have zoned her out when I am watching something. I have the TiVo... and my wife gets mad if I pause the show when she starts rambling at me. She starts talking, I pause the show, she sees me do it and says, "Oh. Sorry... I didn't mean to interrupt!", and walks away mad. What? WHAT??? What are you mad at???? Hot dam! Glad to know this particular behavior is somewhat wide spread and I'm not the only one who's wife does this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebellab Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 I forgot one. I am sure every man has had this happen to them. Wife comes home, or you come home and she is not as chatty as she usually is. She slams a cupboard door or maybe kicks the dog. You ask, "What's wrong honey?" You get a short quick "Nothing!" Then suddenly during the middle of a movie that you have been dying to see, or as was said before ask you snuggle into bed, she lets loose. I have found the answer to this, and I am not sure it makes things any better. When she says nothing I say, "That's good, because it seems like something is wrong and you want to talk about it. I guess I will grab a drink and go sit down to watch TV." That way when she opens up later you can say I gave you an opportunity to talk about it earlier, and you said nothing was wrong so it can't be that bad that it can't wait a little bit more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 I have the TiVo... and my wife gets mad if I pause the show when she starts rambling at me. She starts talking, I pause the show, she sees me do it and says, "Oh. Sorry... I didn't mean to interrupt!", and walks away mad. What? WHAT??? What are you mad at???? This is probably the worst part of all. If you don't just stop watching the show and listen to them, they get mad. Like you said, even pausing the movie and listening isn't enough. Excuse you, you're the one interrupting the show and it's friggin rude....and now YOU'RE mad? There are exceptions, like if I'm not watching anything in particular, or it's really imporant etc....but rarely is this how it goes. Just more reminders why God made us so attracted to women: if we weren't, we'd kill em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Though she does give great skullage to completion Thanks we all wanted to know that :hurl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 she lacks rational thinking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Q: How does H8 say goodnight to his wife? A: It puts the lotion in the basket. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Dude, I'm feeling for you right now. How are you still married to her. Life sounds miserable for you. Oh and by the way another thing that drives me nuts that my wife does is she sets her alarm clock for an hour before she has to get up and then hits the snooze button every nine minutes when it goes off. 7 times that f*cker goes off 6:00, 6:09, 6:18, 6:27, 6:36, 6:45, 6:54 and then she finally gets up a little after 7:00 after it's gone off 7 times. I'm like and then I want to roll over and Are you my wife? She has that complaint about me and that alarm clock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeeman Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Q: How does H8 say goodnight to his wife? A: It puts the lotion in the basket. good stuff.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Def. Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 1. She has to go pickup something and will have a $10 on her. I'll give her an extra $10 just in case it runs over the amount. Comes back and the total was $9. I'll still never see that money again. Ask about getting that $10 back or change and it never happens. We've been living together for 4 years, and I don't think I've ever received change back. Really annoying when I'm charging a $1.25 pop cause I don't have cash. 2. She has the day off. I'm off either driving to/from or working from 6:30am to 5:30pm. I get home and get "What you wanna do about dinner?." Well lets see, when your working till 8 I have food ready for us come 8:30 when you get home. You had the whole day and couldn't figure out a simple dam dinner plan? 3. Kinda OCD, but will just bookmark sites. Doesn't put them in a folder, or rename them so there shorter. Just bookmarks them and leaves em, no organization at all. I click on Favorites and get a random flood of new pages bm'd today. Things with titles longer then the screen. Just got the processor in for the new machine though so will finally have seperate computers. Very excited about that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Here's a weird one, that I would be surprised to have anyone relate to. My wife never fully screws the cap onto anything. 90% of the time she misthreads the cap, makes half a turn, and leaves it that way. It drives me nuts. I thought my wife was the only one who did this!!!! Everytime I go to get milk from the fridge the cap is resting on the top...whats so damn hard about screwing it on correctly!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Menudo Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 taking 10 minutes to tell me something that should take 10 seconds. I have not met a woman yet who does not do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 who knew so many huddlers were so anal retentive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Are you my wife? She has that complaint about me and that alarm clock. Don't make me come smash your alarm clock too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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