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Kids say the darndest things


yo mama
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My son was at pre-pre school the other day wearing his Royals gear. His teachers asked him who his favorite team was, so of course he says the Royals.

 

He then says: "The Yankees stink." (i shed a tear here)

 

The teacher asks: "Why do they stink?"

 

My son: "Because they never change their underwear." :wacko:

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My son was at pre-pre school the other day wearing his Royals gear. His teachers asked him who his favorite team was, so of course he says the Royals.

 

He then says: "The Yankees stink." (i shed a tear here)

 

The teacher asks: "Why do they stink?"

 

My son: "Because they never change their underwear." :wacko:

 

This is awesome. :D

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The 5 yr. old son comes and climbs into bed with the wife and I the other night about 3 am...my wife turns to him and tells him he needs to go get back in his own bed...so he looks at her and says, 'Mom, you got 2 choices here...1, I can go get back in my own bed, or 2, you can get up and take care of me'...so I'm trying not to laugh out loud while my wife says 'I'll take choice number 1 and you go get back in your own bed'...which the 5 yr. old promptly gives her a raspberry and says 'annnhhh, wrong answer'...

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My mother in law just left after a week visit.

 

During her time here, my 2 year old son at one point was babbling something that we didn't understand and we were trying to figure it out, and then he grabbed the back of my MIL's shirt and pulled her over to where he was standing on the couch. He pulled on the back of her pants, looked in at her butt and then let it snap shut and said "No poop."

 

That's funny.

 

:wacko:

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Last night my 4 year old was walking down the stairs and saying to himself in a very lyrical tone, "Knock Knock, Who's There? Butt Crack!"

 

I was very tempted to ask Butt Crack Who? but I was kind of afraid of what the punchline might be. :wacko:

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Last night my 4 year old was walking down the stairs and saying to himself in a very lyrical tone, "Knock Knock, Who's There? Butt Crack!"

 

I was very tempted to ask Butt Crack Who? but I was kind of afraid of what the punchline might be. :wacko:

Jimmy Jack?

Edited by Big John
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  • 3 months later...

So, my son is now 2.5 years old. I work at home in my office in the basement. I came upstairs, and heard my wife giving Aidan a bath. I heard her saying "No, you don't listen, so you can't have it anymore"

 

So, when I walk into the bathroom, Mommy is correcting him. He looks at her, then looks at me and says "I can't take it anymore !!!!" Of course, he is referring to taking the cup that Mommy took from him, but, it sounded like he was referring to my wife. We both bust up laughing, and that made him continue to repeat with more conviction "I can't take it anymore !!!!!"

 

:wacko: At times, kids are the best entertainment in the world. I wish he would stop growing up so fast.

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My son just turned 2 about two months ago and we're knee deep in potty training. He pooped on the potty for the first time yesterday and we promised him a fish if he did. So we're eating dinner at a pizza place next to Petco and my wife asked him what he did today. "I go poopy on potty!!" My wife and I get happy, then... "Poopy look like stingray!" :wacko:

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My son just turned 2 about two months ago and we're knee deep in potty training. He pooped on the potty for the first time yesterday and we promised him a fish if he did. So we're eating dinner at a pizza place next to Petco and my wife asked him what he did today. "I go poopy on potty!!" My wife and I get happy, then... "Poopy look like stingray!" :wacko:

 

my daughter's 3-year-old friend was over at our house playing. she said she had to go poo, so i took her to the bathroom. she went, looked in the toilet and said, "it looks like an anaconda!" even funnier was that it DID look like an anaconda. :D

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  • 1 month later...

I'm sitting on the couch doing work, and my son, who will be 3 in December, is handing laundry to my wife who is folding. So, he grabs my wife's bra and shouts proudly "Look Dad, Mom's boobies !!!!!!" :wacko:

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We bought my youngest a drum set for her birthday. It is driving my oldest nuts. My oldest said to me "dad you know what the only thing is that I dont like about Angies drums ?" When she plays them

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Yesterday in line at the log flume ride - my 8-year old son basically yells, "Hey, what's up with the weird clothes?" There was a group of very traditional muslims a few feet away. That got a lot of laughs from the people around us, but not a twitch from the muslim group.

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My 3yo son and I were roughhousing the other day, and he stood up on my lap and started punching me repeatedly and then he said "Look Daddy! I'm Jesus!"

 

I said "Buddy, Jesus doesn't punch people... Jesus was really really nice."

 

So he says "Ok, I'm not Jesus" and punched me again. Christian Daycare. He's picking up the terms, but I just don't think he's getting it.

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My 3yo son and I were roughhousing the other day, and he stood up on my lap and started punching me repeatedly and then he said "Look Daddy! I'm Jesus!"

 

I said "Buddy, Jesus doesn't punch people... Jesus was really really nice."

 

So he says "Ok, I'm not Jesus" and punched me again. Christian Daycare. He's picking up the terms, but I just don't think he's getting it.

 

:wacko:

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We have a sitter watching our 3 oldest kids during the day for us this summer, and she is real good about keeping them busy. She took them out for water ice yesterday, and while they were walking around the shopping center, they decided to stop into the Goodwill store to see if they could get any $1-2 bargains. She obviously explained to them before entering that this is where people donate their stuff to help the poor.

 

So they enter the store, and my five-year-old promptly blurts out loudly "So, these are all the poor people, huh?"

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  • 1 year later...

My sister-in-law's father died this past spring. Yesterday would have been his birthday. Yesterday my 6 y.o. niece goes into my SIL's bedroom, and my SIL tells her "Mommy is sad, today would have been Big Daddy's birthday." My 6 y.o. niece looks at her and says, "well at least we don't have to buy him a present."

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A couple of years ago, my daughter was probably 4 1/2, we were at a restaurant for dinner. The waiter comes over and let's know all the dinner specials, etc. He was going through everything rather quickly, so as soon as he leaves, my daughter looks at me and says, "What the hell did he just say?" I don't even know where she got that, but it was all we could do to keep from laughing.

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