jaxfactor Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 You would have been 45 today and I miss you so much I can't even stand it anymore. Tough times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Hang in there bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxfactor Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Could really use someone to talk to right now. I haven't been myself in a couple months and things don't look like they're getting any better emotionally. Financially I'm in great shape now, but I'd trade that in a heartbeat to have my sweetheart back. When I was younger, being alone was a blast. Now that I'm older, it sucks big time. I don't know how long this is going to go on, but I'm getting really tired of being depressed. Life threw me a wicked curve ball and I feel like I'm down to my last strike. What the hell should I do????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I wish I had some advise that would make it all better, but I don't. The best advise I can give is stay busy and spend time with people that might be able to help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I wish I had some advise that would make it all better, but I don't. The best advise I can give is stay busy and spend time with people that might be able to help you. +1 Hang in there man. Just be thankful that your lives crossed and you were able to know and love her. Think how your life would be if you didn't. I've never lost a loved one so I can't sit here and tell you I know how you feel. But just know there are many, many people here that will listen if you need an ear. Don't hesitate to contact me if you do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I'm sorry you have to go through this. All I can say is keep posting here and try to spend time with friends as much as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HowboutthemCowboys Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Sorry Jax. Hang in there man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprofessor Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 While I can't imagine what it would be like if I lost the love of my life and my best friend, I have lost some very significant people in my life, some to tragedy. It sounds as if your depression is pretty serious. I also know that dates of significance (birthdates, anniversaries, etc) tend to bring out some real emotions, which I'm sure is the reason for your "low" feelings today. Remember Marie wants you to be happy, she doesn't want you to suffer, so if that helps pull you out of where you are today, use it. If you don't have good friends or family that will support you or allow you to share your feelings of loss then I would seek out a therapist that specializes in grief counseling. I did this when I lost my father tragically and it helped me immensely. If not, you can PM me and I'll forward my mobile number and you can call me whenever you need someone to listen and to share your loss. Hang in there. Time heals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 While I can't imagine what it would be like if I lost the love of my life and my best friend, I have lost some very significant people in my life, some to tragedy. It sounds as if your depression is pretty serious. I also know that dates of significance (birthdates, anniversaries, etc) tend to bring out some real emotions, which I'm sure is the reason for your "low" feelings today. Remember Marie wants you to be happy, she doesn't want you to suffer, so if that helps pull you out of where you are today, use it. If you don't have good friends or family that will support you or allow you to share your feelings of loss then I would seek out a therapist that specializes in grief counseling. I did this when I lost my father tragically and it helped me immensely. If not, you can PM me and I'll forward my mobile number and you can call me whenever you need someone to listen and to share your loss. Hang in there. Time heals. well said......check in with Hospice Jax, they have a great after care program and don't know how you're doin unless ya pick-up the phone and talk with them.....once they know you're a hurtin unit they will throw ya a rope and help get ya outta that hole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Sorry I didn't see this yesterday, Jax. May 8th is Mrs. HR's birthday. Wow. I guess we're sorta bonded. Hang in there my friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Jax, stay close to those you love. Keep them around you. The pain is going to last a long, long time. But let me tell you, it wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't love her so deeply. Try to take comfort from knowing that you gave her what she needed and helped her on her final journey to peace. I think it would be a great thing Jax if you could be in touch with the hospice folks about their bereavement support. You are not alone in this and being with people who understand how you're feeling. People who aren't grieving don't always understand why you aren't just "getting over it" and they may say things that are hurtful even if they think they're being helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I wish I had some advise that would make it all better, but I don't. The best advise I can give is stay busy and spend time with people that might be able to help you. I can't offer any advise, but maybe try to do something you may enjoy to get around this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 If you don't have good friends or family that will support you or allow you to share your feelings of loss then I would seek out a therapist that specializes in grief counseling. I would seek out a therapist even if you do have close friends and family who will try to support you. You are in my thoughts, Jax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I would seek out a therapist even if you do have close friends and family who will try to support you. You are in my thoughts, Jax. Agree... stay strong bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 (edited) Could really use someone to talk to right now. I haven't been myself in a couple months and things don't look like they're getting any better emotionally. Financially I'm in great shape now, but I'd trade that in a heartbeat to have my sweetheart back. When I was younger, being alone was a blast. Now that I'm older, it sucks big time. I don't know how long this is going to go on, but I'm getting really tired of being depressed. Life threw me a wicked curve ball and I feel like I'm down to my last strike. What the hell should I do????? We're all here for you Jax. I know it's not the same as having someone physically there, but there's folks all over the country that care. What is something that you have always wanted to do, separate from anyone else? Something for yourself. A life dream, a trip, something you wanted to try but never had the time. Edited May 9, 2009 by Caveman_Nick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alchico Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Dealing with the loss of a loved one has to be one of the toughest things we face in our lives. Having lost my Dad many years back I have had some pretty rough times, mostly at birthdays and other significant events that really bring out how much i miss him. We all deal with that pain in different ways. Over time it has gotten easier but there are days when it becomes excruciatingly painful even 10 years later. You will find a way to get through this my friend. Check your voice mail and give me a call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoopazz Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Hang tough Jax. Do you have family and friends nearby? Keep coming on here for support and PM/call those you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Jax, stay close to those you love. Keep them around you. The pain is going to last a long, long time. But let me tell you, it wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't love her so deeply. Try to take comfort from knowing that you gave her what she needed and helped her on her final journey to peace. I think it would be a great thing Jax if you could be in touch with the hospice folks about their bereavement support. You are not alone in this and being with people who understand how you're feeling. People who aren't grieving don't always understand why you aren't just "getting over it" and they may say things that are hurtful even if they think they're being helpful. Good advice. Not much to add except, Peace my friend. Try to keep everything in perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbimm Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Dealing with the loss of a loved one has to be one of the toughest things we face in our lives. Having lost my Dad many years back I have had some pretty rough times, mostly at birthdays and other significant events that really bring out how much i miss him. We all deal with that pain in different ways. Over time it has gotten easier but there are days when it becomes excruciatingly painful even 10 years later. You will find a way to get through this my friend. Check your voice mail and give me a call. My Dads BDay is coming up on the 25th and I am already taking steps to deal with what I know is coming. Jax, Buddy you have my # and don't hesitate to call me. I don't know what I can say to take the pain away but we do have a very real connection due to the circumstances surrounding our loved ones. Feel free to call and if I don't answer leave me a message and I WILL get back to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 my thoughts are with you, man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piranha Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hang in there jax. Stay close by the ones you love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timmypg Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hang in there Jax. Things will never be the same but they'll get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Jax, stay close to those you love. Keep them around you. The pain is going to last a long, long time. But let me tell you, it wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't love her so deeply. Try to take comfort from knowing that you gave her what she needed and helped her on her final journey to peace. I think it would be a great thing Jax if you could be in touch with the hospice folks about their bereavement support. You are not alone in this and being with people who understand how you're feeling. People who aren't grieving don't always understand why you aren't just "getting over it" and they may say things that are hurtful even if they think they're being helpful. Czarina is wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Czarina is wise. Thanks...now if I had a better grasp on the English language, that sentence might even have made sense. I found that when I was doing bereavement counseling, that for people to just be with others who were facing the same type of loss..they just understood each other in ways that nobody else could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelBunz Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Czarina is wise. She is UBER-wise. Jax......the only thing I can add is there is NO timetable. Yes...it takes time for it not to seem so oppressive 24/7. But you are not down to your last strike hun. You think you are.....then poof.....you're through another minute or hour or day. Listen to Czar and some others.....find a group where you can at least talk it out with people who have been there. There is NO "getting over it".....there's only learning to live with it. And actually...that should be a comfort in itself. Learning how to go on doesn't mean forgetting.....or shelving your feelings.....or acting like nothing is wrong. The more you talk it through with good friends or counselors or whoever, the faster the black cloud seems to dissipate and let the light through. Then you'll start to be able to think of all the good stuff and incorporate it into your life now. You'll find yourself remembering and smiling.....instead of remembering and crying. When you catch yourself doing that, remember that it is a GOOD thing. That smile. You both were incredibly fortunate to have had such a love. But that only means you have such a big heart, Jax. The hurt is bigger too......and takes more time to ease. I'm so sorry you are going through this. PM me if you need another ear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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