So my 17yr old got suspended from school today...

[MTSuper7]

Well - I'd like to think the consequences are on the home front.

 

+1 - Sounds like they're making an example of your son and his teammates. I'd actually complain to the school about this. Plus, isn't mid-March kinda early for finals?

[Big John]

Plus, isn't mid-March kinda early for finals?

Some schools do quarterly finals and depending on the school calendar, March can be the end of the 3rd quarter.

[evil_gop_liars]

Sure. But on the other hand, it could indicate that he's well on his way to becoming a senator.

 

Eric Massa should of "bag tagged" Rahm when he was yelling at him in the shower.

[The Holy Roller]

Well - I'd like to think the consequences are on the home front.

 

If only more parents adopted this attitude. Sadly too many parents take the side of their child and accuse the school of being "unfair" or picking on their kid. After so many parents end up fighting a teacher over their child's behavior you end up with kids who have no respect for a teacher's authority and the "art" of teaching really becoming the act of babysitting.

 

My youngest son was suspended once for fighting when he was in 7th grade. He was dumb enough to utter "...remember Columbine..." during the fight and he got a weeks suspension. And he was lucky that was all he got! It became a definite teaching moment. A solid week's worth of teaching moments. It sounds to me from the facts you gave that you are handling the situation pretty well. 17 is old enough to start recognizing that there can be some serious consequences for all your actions.

 

Hang in there. If raising kids was easy we'd all have some.

[Atlanta Cracker]

i would definitely be talking to the school about the timing of the suspension. this kind of idiocy does not warrant this kind of potential impact on a kid's gpa and corresponding college implications. now, if his grades suck anyway and college is not in the future, then it's less of a deal i guess.

 

 

I agree. This seems like something a coach should have handled with laps or pushups or the like. I guess if they did it in the classroom or school building that's a bit worse.

 

My goal is to raise my son to learn to deal with the consequences of bad decisions (he's 5 now so it's pretty easy). This, however, makes me question what to do when the consequences seem to outweigh the action - the Finals thingy specifically.

 

My guess is they knew of possible suspension if they were properly warned but didn't imagine it would be applied during finals. I don't know, I'm torn on how to react. Part of me says go yell at the school for screwing with his grades and part of me says let him learn life's not fair AND add some pretty heavy chores to be accomplished on the day he's suspended. Maybe do both. Tell the principal how he's being punished and ask politely that he at least be allowed to take the tests?

[HowboutthemCowboys]

I be pissed and he'd be punished for sure. But on the same note, if this is the worst thing he does in the next couple years, you will be thankful.

Edited March 19, 2010 by HowboutthemCowboys

[TimC]

You need to adopt this attitude. Always take the side of your child, I know the school is being unfair and picking on your kid. You need to fight the teacher over your child's behavior so you end up with kid's that won't be pushed around by some crazy teacher's authority, These babysitters posing as teachers need to learn a lesson.

[Savage Beatings]

Ok, so it sounds like everyone agrees that the suspension (and home punishment) is totally warranted, but that missing the finals and receiving an F is overboard. So you should go to the Principal and ask to have the suspension moved to another day, or at least allow your son to take make up finals in every class. If he says no, then bag tag the SOB.

[montster]

Ok, so it sounds like everyone agrees that the suspension (and home punishment) is totally warranted, but that missing the finals and receiving an F is overboard. So you should go to the Principal and ask to have the suspension moved to another day, or at least allow your son to take make up finals in every class. If he says no, then bag tag the SOB.

 

i'm trying to picture a 40-something man lightly slapping a school principal in the nuts, laughing and then running away like a little b!tch.

[CaptainHook]

bag tag him to tears.

[cre8tiff]

bag tag him to tears.

 

eye for an eye, eh?

[buddahj]

I'd be pretty upset with him. If he was told stop & still chose to keep doing it then the punishment is warranted. It sucks that it was during finals. But, I guess you have to learn hard lessons sometime. I guess on the bright side, at least he wasn't calling you from county lockup.

[Delicious_bass]

Ok, so it sounds like everyone agrees that the suspension (and home punishment) is totally warranted, but that missing the finals and receiving an F is overboard. So you should go to the Principal and ask to have the suspension moved to another day, or at least allow your son to take make up finals in every class. If he says no, then bag tag the SOB.

I would sincerely hope any school that really cares about the kids would allow them to make up the tests and not take Fs. That does seem a little too harsh given the crime. That said, in this day and age, flicking someone in the sack could constitute some kind of sexual assault or misconduct or something and there could be all sorts of legal trouble. So I guess I cant blame the school for taking that seriously and sticking to the rules...

 

Schools often end up in no-win situations with stuff like this. I live really close to Blaine High School here in MN and (either last year or the year before) there was a curfuffle about a kid who had a box cutter visible in the console in his car. School security was walking through the lot, noticed it, and the kid got yanked out of class and suspended. Turns out, he worked as a stocker at the grocery store down the street and used the box cutter when at work. The school has an absolute no weapons policy, though, and found themselves in a situation where they were fairly certain the kid wasnt going to do anything bad with the blade but the rule was in place for an automatic suspension. A lot of people thought it was ridiculous that the school was going to suspend him as he wasnt a bad kid but (looking at it from the school's POV) they cant always judge intent and if he freaks out and does something with the blade (and it comes out the school knew he had it) there would be hell to pay. Tough call and I dont envy anyone in the education system.

[muck]

You don't want your kid to miss finals.

 

You also do want your kid to learn that occasionally the negative actions that flow from a decision is not necessarily proportionate to the ill-advised action. Frankly, I think that this whole "life's not fair" thing is a pretty decent lesson to start learning at 17 ... but, I'd still not be very happy about the impact it may have on his future grades (but it may make for some interesting college application essays as to why an otherwise 3.5 GPA student got straight Fs in the 3rd quarter of his junior year).

 

Exhibit A: You go to a party and drink a beer (underage) and someone spikes your drink and you wake up without your kidneys.

 

Exhibit B: You look over to your buddy's test when you get stuck, get his answer and put it on your paper. You still get the answer wrong and you don't get caught.

 

Exhibit A is overkill and Exhibit B is underkill --- in both scenarios, it's not fair --- in the first case, it's not fair to the underage drinker and in the second case, it's not fair to all the other students that did not cheat.

Edited March 19, 2010 by muck

[wiegie]

in this day and age, flicking someone in the sack could constitute some kind of sexual assault or misconduct or something and there could be all sorts of legal trouble.

I was just about to post something like this. In some places, your kid could/would be charged with sexual assault. Seriously.

[Azazello1313]

I was just about to post something like this. In some places, your kid could/would be charged with sexual assault. Seriously.

 

yeah and have to be on the sex offender registry his whole life. it ain't that farfetched...

[Riffraff]

I would be more worried about the fact that he is touching other guys' testicles.

And that he enjoys doing it... repeatedly.

[Chief Dick]

Lots of good advice here.

 

What does the ex-wife, Cunning Linguist, think about the school part of the punishment regarding the F's?

[wiegie]

I was just about to post something like this. In some places, your kid could/would be charged with sexual assault. Seriously.

for reference:

Prosecutor will not file charges against members of the West Catholic Boys Cross County team

Amy Fox Jessica Puchala

Updated:2/24/2010 6:40:29 PM - Posted: 2/24/2010 5:16:01 PM

 

GRAND RAPIDS (WZZM)- The Kent County Prosecutor decided not to press charges in a hazing case at Grand Rapids' West Catholic High School. The decision comes after police investigated "inappropriate and vulgar" behavior by team members on the school's cross country team.

 

Prosecutor William Forsyth says he will not press criminal charges in the case. But, he says the boys involved did go too far. He says, "This is simply something that ought to be handled by the school. Did they do some things that they shouldn't have done? Sure. Did they get carried away with some of the things they did? They did. But it just to me doesn't rise to the level that we ought to be getting involved in it."

 

We want to warn you, some of these allegations are disturbing.

 

Some vulgar behavior went on behind the scenes of the West Catholic High School boys cross country team, leading to a police investigation.

 

Kent County Prosecutor William Forsyth says, "I have to be honest, some variation of this type of thing has probably gone on in a locker room since before I was a kid and will continue to go on. Some of these kids got carried away with what they were doing."

 

Forsyth also says, "Was some of it inappropriate? Sure. Was some of it uncalled for? Yes. Should somebody have dealt with it? Yes. And I think they have. But I don't think it should be the criminal justice system."

 

The fact that West Catholic already canceled the boys 2010 cross country season influenced Forsyth's decision. As did the fact that all of the boys involved are minors and don't have prior records.

 

But, Forsyth's report outlines some disturbing behavior. It says there was "grabbing or poking a teammate in the area between the scrotum and buttocks," 'five starring' or slapping someone on the back or buttocks to leave a handprint, and teammates "humping" one another. The report also says one team member allegedly urinated on a teammate's leg. It also says one or more team members may have hit his penis against another runner's leg.

 

Forsyth said he felt he had to be somewhat graphic in describing the allegations. He explains, "Because I'd heard some various descriptions of what people believed had happened here. And it wasn't remotely close to what was going on."

 

Forsyth says some of these acts are criminal. He explains, "Any unwanted touching is technically an assault and battery. I'm not going to say these weren't technically crimes. Some of them were. But there's a lot of things that go on in this community that don't get prosecuted and frankly shouldn't."

 

Forsyth also said the police investigation was hampered somewhat because at least two team members refused to be interviewed and others were "less than forthcoming."

 

West Catholic Principal Tom Maj told WZZM 13 Wednesday the school's internal investigation reached a conclusion similar to the prosecutors findings. Maj says he is relieved there will be no criminal charges.

 

The prosecutor says not all of the team members were involved. Forsyth says about a dozen runners were involved. Principal Maj says there were 22 boys on the cross country team.

 

West Catholic has already decided to cancel the boys cross country season for 2010. However, there will be a team that will compete as a club team. The school already decided not to renew the contract of Coach Dennis Scully. Principal Maj says now that the investigation has wrapped up, the school can begin the process of looking for a club coach for the fall.

 

The Most Reverend Walter Hurley, Bishop of Grand Rapids released a statement regarding the West Catholic cross country team. The statement is as follows:

 

"While I am saddened by the issues that prompted this investigation, I am grateful to the Grand Rapids Police Department and the Kent County Prosecutor for their thorough investigation of this matter. The administration of West Catholic High School has appropriately handled this difficult situation. I support the actions taken by the administration and am confident that they will promote the values which are foundational to catholic school education and athletics."

[Cunning Runt]

That said, in this day and age, flicking someone in the sack could constitute some kind of sexual assault or misconduct or something and there could be all sorts of legal trouble.

 

Funny you mention that, 'cause the Assistant Principal that spoke to my ex-wife said the on-duty officer at the school had to make the determination as to whether to go that route. He chose not to thankfully.

[satelliteoflovegm]

Bag tag? Do girls clam slam?

[buddahj]

Bag tag? Do girls clam slam?

Only in the showers.

[Cunning Runt]

Bag tag? Do girls clam slam?

 

We can only hope. Better not do it at school though.

[ljbrun]

For me it would depend on the situation.

 

If it's teammates doing it to one another without prejudice - to me, no big deal, just kids doing stupid stuff. Coach could make him do anything from extra training to holding him out of an event to cleaning the locker room.

 

If it's a case where the bigger/stronger kids are picking on the smaller/weaker kids. It may represent a pattern and should be taken seriously. However, a one day suspension that guarantees an F is not an incentive for a kid to continue to work hard on his academics. I'd rather see him kicked off the team, which I assume will happen anyway if he's now getting F's, and serving time with the Breakfast Club.

[The Irish Doggy]

What is the goal of removing a child from an academic achievement opportunity? What does this teach them? I don't get it.