cheezhed Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Meet her at the door in your tightest, skimpiest, sexiest, little outfit when she gets gets off work and I promise she'll forget everything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 tell her the same way you got used to her system she is going to have to cut you some slack and let you work out what works best for you. If that doesnt work try and distract her by pinching your nipples in an erotic fashion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Irish Doggy Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 You ungrateful.... She's out there fighting rush hour traffic to bring home the bacon... Fighting the man everyday to make a buck. I tell ya, you domestic types have no idea how it is out there. Its a JUNGLE. Is it so much to ask that things be in the right place when she gets home? How is she supposed to know where the beer is so she can watch sportscenter? And could you put on a little makeup before she gets home so that she knows you care? Make sure the skirt is freshly ironed. And would it hurt to get on the treadmill for a couple minutes while you watch Oprah? Jesus, no wonder that new secretary looks so good to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonkis Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Did you have two kids and a household for those 29 years? She'd been doing things a certain way for many years I presume and for good reason, I imagine. I would try to learn her system before you invent your own. It's probably easier in the long run to slowly tweak something she takes very seriously. I work 60-70 hours a week, 15-20 of which is at home in the evening, but nonetheless, I worship everything my wife does to keep 4 kids clean, fed, and folded clothes in my closet. Damn, did I write that? I'm whipped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Is she now taking a dump on yer chest? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Is she now taking a dump on yer chest? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furd Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Get a job, you bum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 (edited) Did you have two kids and a household for those 29 years? She'd been doing things a certain way for many years I presume and for good reason, I imagine. I would try to learn her system before you invent your own. It's probably easier in the long run to slowly tweak something she takes very seriously. I work 60-70 hours a week, 15-20 of which is at home in the evening, but nonetheless, I worship everything my wife does to keep 4 kids clean, fed, and folded clothes in my closet. Wow. Got the exact same response when I posted this at gheyadvice.com Edited June 21, 2006 by Big F'n Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 more like Big F'n Whiner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 more like Big F'n Whiner. That's it? Are you f'n kidding me? I swing by The Tailgate, see H8's last to respond and that's what you got for me? Big F'n Whiner? Sh*t. It's painfully obvious you didn't spend your sabbatical getting witty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 That's it? Are you f'n kidding me? Listen here muthafokker, don't make me call my travel agent! :mad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rbmcdonald Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I'm gonna make a prediction here: BFD will be gainfully employed OR single within the next six weeks. Less paperwork involved in getting a job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 BFD.... slack man. You are learning something completely new to you. If you plan on being a househusband, and live off your wife, then you have to give it some time and you will both work out your parameters. She is just trying to help you make your conversion and do things correctly. And ... no.... being a bachlor does not equate to running a household correctly. Seems to me she is not planning on wasting away her life working... she plans to be back to her day job. She wants things to remain like they were before she had to go out and work so she doesn't have to redo all her years of hard work. Geeze... what a whiner. Go make her a nice dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montster Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 welcome to stay-at-home-fatherhood! here's what i do (just substitute all the "him"'s for "her"'s) 1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a well balanced, delicious meal - prepared and ready to serve at the usual time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. Some men like a drink before dinner, if so, plan to keep the meal warm, and not burn anything while he finishes his drink. 2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. Remember too that the women who are in the work force are usually well-dressed and single, and probably looking for a husband. 3. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. 4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are too young to do so themselves. Comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are his little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Caution the children that while discussion is welcome at the dinner table, unpleasant squabbles or disputes should wait until a later time. 5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer or dryer. Make sure all appliances, such as the vacuum are properly put away. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. 6. Avoid Using the Phone: Should anyone telephone you before/during/after dinner, politely advise them you'll return their call after doing the dinner dishes. 7. Things to Avoid: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner and didn't have time to call. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. 8. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind, either before or after dinner. Some men relax with the evening paper, others with TV. 9. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. However, should you sense his mood sullen because of the business day, be prepared for some light hearted banter or just some small talk. 10. Stress the Positive: Plan to inform your husband of the positive events of the day; include the children's accomplishments. 11. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax. 12. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax and enjoy himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 welcome to stay-at-home-fatherhood! here's what i do (just substitute all the "him"'s for "her"'s) no sex? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramhock Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Ask her to create some desktops for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 welcome to stay-at-home-fatherhood! here's what i do (just substitute all the "him"'s for "her"'s) Dude, are those hints from the last 50 years?!?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montster Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Dude, are those hints from the last 50 years?!?!? someone sent it to me once. also, before following the advice in no. 2 ("be a little gay"), check with the wife first. The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life. Maybe after reading this, all you women out there will understand your Mothers and/or Grandmothers a lil' bit better. link Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 My wife sort if is willing to follow the rule that she can either tell me what to do or tell me how to do it, but she can't do both. Granted, I now sleep at a Holiday Inn, but it seemed to be working. Perhaps a sit down with her on why she thought your way was wrong.. let her feel she has hand in offering some helpful hints that will make her happy about the situation, come to a compromise wherever possible, and go from there. Now, anything further from me will be a witty jab at you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I'm sorry, guys. I think I'm pre-menstrual. Use pads! Those tampoons will mess you up! I f'd up the laundry when we first got married. I am no longer allowed within 10' of a washer/dryer, unless we're buying a new one or the current one needs a fix! Way back when I was on a long xmas break. I never liked the way the kitchen was organized, so I spent all day re-doing all the cabinets and their contents. I was proud! Wife comes home, I didn't tell her I did anything. It took her about 30 milleseconds to notice my work. I was proud for about 30 seconds. Then I got the "STARE"! Needless to say I spent the next day putting it back the way it was! "Ignorance is bliss!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Take polaroids of each cabinet with all of the items in exactly the right place, and tape them inside the door of each cabinet. Show her the photos and she will either love it or think you are being a raging azzhole. Let us know which reaction you get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Take polaroids of each cabinet with all of the items in exactly the right place, and tape them inside the door of each cabinet. Show her the photos and she will either love it or think you are being a raging azzhole. Let us know which reaction you get. I did that for Mrs. RR's classroom/lab to help her students put the stuff away correctly. It worked great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Wow. What does it feel like to be a woman? Is it more comfortable walking without the burden of having testicles between your legs? I'm not trying to be insulting... I think it must be nice to be able to wear pretty dresses and wait for your wife to come home with her paycheck and maybe buy you something nice if you've kept the house nice and clean. Does she still let you drive if you want to go out somewhere, or would that be too taxing on you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 Wow. What does it feel like to be a woman? Is it more comfortable walking without the burden of having testicles between your legs? I'm not trying to be insulting... I think it must be nice to be able to wear pretty dresses and wait for your wife to come home with her paycheck and maybe buy you something nice if you've kept the house nice and clean. Does she still let you drive if you want to go out somewhere, or would that be too taxing on you? You reek of jealousy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Neutron Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 You're doing too much, too fast BFD. She's not going to feel appreciated if you immediately start doing everything she did when she stayed at home. Struggle with it a little. Take her corrections in stride and tell her you have no idea how she did it all. She'll be happy and you may get a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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