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My fiance called me at work...


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Me:"Having fun with your dad?"

 

She:"Yes!!!We went to my Uncle Scott's.I even picked us some fresh eggs for breakfast from a rooster's nest!!!"

 

Me:"A rooster's nest?"

 

She:"Yes.And it was mean when I was getting them.My Uncle had to shoo it away."

 

Me:"Baby,I'm pretty sure it wasn't a rooster's nest"

 

She:"Yes it was!"(Can hear Dad and Uncle laughing)

 

Me:"Sweetie,roosters don't lay eggs.Maybe it was a chicken?"

 

 

 

Yes,she's a city girl.

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Green acres is the place to be.

Farm livin’ is the life for me.

Land spreadin’ out so far and wide

Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

 

New York is where I’d rather stay.

I get allergic smelling hay.

I just adore a penthouse view.

Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

 

The chores. The stores.

Fresh air. Times Square

 

You are my wife Good bye, city life.

Green Acres we are there!

 

 

 

:D

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Me:"Having fun with your dad?"

 

She:"Yes!!!We went to my Uncle Scott's.I even picked us some fresh eggs for breakfast from a rooster's nest!!!"

 

Me:"A rooster's nest?"

 

She:"Yes.And it was mean when I was getting them.My Uncle had to shoo it away."

 

Me:"Baby,I'm pretty sure it wasn't a rooster's nest"

 

She:"Yes it was!"(Can hear Dad and Uncle laughing)

 

 

 

 

Me:"Sweetie, here's your sign"

 

 

 

Ya just have to love stuff like that. LOL

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That's funny. Reminds me of the time my farmer cousins tried to convince me (city boy) to milk a bull. :D They stopped me as the bull was preparing to charge. :D

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I told my life partner it only snowed when it was clear skies outside. (they are from kaliphornia)

 

I explained when it is too cold for clouds to form, they fall to earth in the form of snow, hence the clear skies... this worked until the first snowfall that wasn't at night.

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Me:"Sweetie,roosters don't lay eggs.Maybe it was a chicken?"

Yes,she's a city girl.

 

 

Frank: "Let me get something straight. So you got the rooster, the chicken and the hen. The rooster has sex with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen? Something's missing!"

 

Mrs Ross: "Something's missing alright..."

 

Mr Ross: "The rooster. The rooster has sex with all of them."

 

Frank:"That's perverse!"

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I got a call at work from my girl this morning:

 

Me: Hello?

 

Her: You left the sink so full of dishes I cant even wash any bottles!

 

Me: But theyre all rinsed, all you gotta do is put em in the dishwasher...

 

Her: Then why didnt you do it?

 

Me: Because I pay the bills and you run the household, youre lucky I made every meal this weekend.

 

Her: /dialtone/

 

 

:D Not quite as funny...

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Frank: "Let me get something straight. So you got the rooster, the chicken and the hen. The rooster has sex with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen? Something's missing!"

 

Mrs Ross: "Something's missing alright..."

 

Mr Ross: "The rooster. The rooster has sex with all of them."

 

Frank:"That's perverse!"

 

 

You stole my quote. I was scrolling to the bottom to write the exact same thing !!!! :D

 

On another note, great minds think alike.......... :D

 

P.S. I find Seinfeld references a minimum of 10 times a day in my life.....

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The following conversation happened in September of 2002 while my wife and I were driving south on M-131 near Grand Rapids just after we passed a road-sign indicating distances to upcoming cities:

 

Wife: We should go there once.

Me: Where?

Wife: Kalamazoo.

Me: Why?

Wife: To see the animals.

Me: :D

 

(In my wife's defense, she had only been living in the US for about 3 months at the time, but it still makes me chuckle.)

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The following conversation happened in September of 2002 while my wife and I were driving south on M-131 near Grand Rapids just after we passed a road-sign indicating distances to upcoming cities:

 

Wife: We should go there once.

Me: Where?

Wife: Kalamazoo.

Me: Why?

Wife: To see the animals.

Me: :D

 

(In my wife's defense, she had only been living in the US for about 3 months at the time, but it still makes me chuckle.)

 

:D

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Green acres is the place to be.

Farm livin’ is the life for me.

Land spreadin’ out so far and wide

Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

 

New York is where I’d rather stay.

I get allergic smelling hay.

I just adore a penthouse view.

Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

 

The chores. The stores.

Fresh air. Times Square

 

You are my wife Good bye, city life.

Green Acres we are there!

:D

 

 

I thought it was:

 

In some pu--y is the place to be,

Always fu--in is the life for me,

Spread those legs open far and wide,

F--- this sh-- just let me put my di-- inside.

 

At least thats what NWA said...

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  • 3 weeks later...

I thought of this thread last night when the wife and I were watching Sox/Yankees on ESPN.

 

They brought in Donnelly to pitch in the 8th, and I said, "What was this guy's name again?"

 

She looked at the TV and said, "It's right there... his name is Al Rank".

 

:D

 

"Uhhh... honey... that graphic is showing the American League Rank of the Sox pitchers."

 

"Ooohhhhhhhh..."

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  • 3 months later...
I thought of this thread last night when the wife and I were watching Sox/Yankees on ESPN.

 

They brought in Donnelly to pitch in the 8th, and I said, "What was this guy's name again?"

 

She looked at the TV and said, "It's right there... his name is Al Rank".

 

:D

 

"Uhhh... honey... that graphic is showing the American League Rank of the Sox pitchers."

 

"Ooohhhhhhhh..."

 

PAYBACK!

 

I had to bump this thread because last night I finally evened the score with the wife on stupid comments.

 

Last night we are watching the recording of "The Bronx is Burning", and a graphic came up at the bottom that says:

"Barry Bonds at bat Booo Soo."

 

"Booo Soo?" I ask, "What the hell does Booo Soo mean?"

 

Then one of the circles after the B turned dark, and I realized it was counting his balls and strikes.

:D:D

 

Wife: "Booo Soo, eh hon? heh hehe heh..."

Me: "Ok, we're even for the Al Rank thing." :D

 

If I start a new alias, it's going to be as Booo Soo.

Edited by AtomicCEO
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