nuke'em ttg Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 So i'm pickin up tacos at this Authenic Taco joint for lunch........on the way out there's Mexican teenagers all blinged out standin by my truck......one of'em says.... " What up widget Vanilla Face ".......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 My wife and my daughter are in a constant battle over what clothes my daughter is going to wear..She picks her outfits out the night before and I hear them bicker over what she is gonna wear a lot..One night my wife was adamant about my daughter wearing this blue dress the next day..My daughter was fighting tooth and nail so my wife said you better go in there and talk to her because my wife was at the end of her rope..So normally I am the strict enforcer but this time I tried to use a little tact.. As many of you know I work in the garment center..I sell fabric..I have many childrenswear accounts..My daughter loves my job and wants to be a clothing designer. So I sit her down and said honey you know daddy sells kids clothes all day long and you know what all of my kids dress designers are asking me for ???? Blue dresses..I said every day I get a ton of calls for blue dresses for little girls..The hottest thing going right now is blue dresses like the one mommy wants you to wear tomorrow..So she said "great then take that one to work and sell it" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 My wife and my daughter are in a constant battle over what clothes my daughter is going to wear..She picks her outfits out the night before and I hear them bicker over what she is gonna wear a lot..One night my wife was adamant about my daughter wearing this blue dress the next day..My daughter was fighting tooth and nail so my wife said you better go in there and talk to her because my wife was at the end of her rope..So normally I am the strict enforcer but this time I tried to use a little tact.. As many of you know I work in the garment center..I sell fabric..I have many childrenswear accounts..My daughter loves my job and wants to be a clothing designer. So I sit her down and said honey you know daddy sells kids clothes all day long and you know what all of my kids dress designers are asking me for ???? Blue dresses..I said every day I get a ton of calls for blue dresses for little girls..The hottest thing going right now is blue dresses like the one mommy wants you to wear tomorrow..So she said "great then take that one to work and sell it" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 (edited) My wife is so used to barking out order as a teacher and a mother that she is starting to bark out orders to me and her parents without thinking twice on it. So i've been doing something that gets under her skin a bit... Example: Her: "Go ahead and run the dish washer then when its done, empty it, fill it up again and put the load of clothes in the dryer." Me: ::hitlersalute:: "Heil, mein Führer!" Drives her nutz that I do the Nazi salute when she is just barking out the orders. My daughter walks up to her Father [my father in law] on sunday and gives him the salute. Edited June 12, 2007 by cliaz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 My daughter walks up to her Father [my father in law] on sunday and gives him the salute. You might live in Yankee land, but at least you are raising them young'uns right!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Since I don't have kids yet, the best story I have would be one told to me by my parents about... well.... me. It was my first dress-up Halloween... or at least the first Halloween where I was old enough to go trick-or-treating, and Mom and Dad had given me a nice long explanation of what I was supposed to do: walk up to the door, ring the bell and when they answer, say "trick or treat!!" and hold out my bag. So I walk up to the first house, ring the bell, and when the door opened, I said "I'm here for the candy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 So she said "great then take that one to work and sell it" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Yes, if there was any doubt whatsoever that she was Whompers kid, that comment eliminated it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Recently I was very proud of my soon to be 3 year old son, for farting and then blaming it on the dog... well he took it a step further last night... we're sitting on my bed watching television together and he just rips a giant smelly one. I look at him with a little surprise and disgust until he points and says, "You did it." Nice try kid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 My oldest was just learning to drink out of a regular cup. I had just poured her a glass of chocolate milk, and handed it to her when she drops it. My wife happens to be standing behind her at the time. My daughter just looks down at the chocolate milk on the floor, and then looks up at me and says "well shit!? I'm trying to keep a straight face, and look up at my wife about to fall over laughing. Same daughter she was about two or so. I drive an SUV, and really don't worry about small pot holes, so I really don't try too hard to avoid them. This drives my wife crazy. She's always says "Shit Matt do you think you can hit another one." Well we had just picked up my parents to take them to dinner. My wife was driving because we were in her expedition. She hits a pot hole, and my 2 year old daughter says "Well shit Mom do you think you could hit another one." I took my 6 year old to the dentist yesterday. They gave her some drugs to calm her down and she wasn't acting quite right when this guy that works there walks in with an ear ring. She looks at me and says: Why does that guy have an earring? Boys aren't supposed to have earrings. Is he one of those homosapiens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 At Animal Kingdom last week, we happened upon several pink flamingos. We stopped and looked at them for a second and my 5 year-old said matter of factly, "that one doesn't have a head". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 my wife's friend has a daughter ...in school day , each kid was asked to name something that made their mommy special and differemt ..well the kid gets nervous and freezes up , as the teacher pushes her for an answer , the girl blurts out " My Mommy has a hairy peep " Mother was mortified ( and apparently increased her appts for brazilian waxings as well ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Mine was just the other day. I sometimes tell my 14yr old to do something (whatever it might be) or I'm gonna lay an ass-whuppin on him. He knows I'm joking but also serious that I want whatever it is done. Well, apparently I wasn't careful about who I said that around 'cause my three yr old son the other day, when I asked my wife to do something, yells at his mom - "do it mommy or daddy's gonna whoop your ass". Or the time that my middle son, when he was three also, drops his fork at a local (crowded restaurant), and says "sh-it" very loudly. Lesson? Careful what you say 'cause little ears are like sponges. Dohh.... How do you not crack up when you hear stuff like that though? At least they both used their first forays into profanity in the right context. That's something right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Walked outside two weekends ago ... and my 3yo son was standing on the driveway, facing the street, peeing on the curb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Walked outside two weekends ago ... and my 3yo son was standing on the driveway, facing the street, peeing on the curb. Has your wife ever met twiley? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broncosn05 Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Has your wife ever met twiley? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Has your wife ever met twiley? When you gotta go, you gotta go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Kids pee on the darndest things! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted June 13, 2007 Author Share Posted June 13, 2007 Kids pee on the darndest things! i'd get up .....open one of the dresser drawers....take a leak and head back to bed....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 One of my dogs likes to roll in poop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted June 13, 2007 Author Share Posted June 13, 2007 One of my dogs likes to roll in poop. Has your dog ever met Twiley? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Has your dog ever met Twiley? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Has your dog ever met Twiley? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Menudo Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Has your dog ever met Twiley? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 Oh ... and this is when the house was on the market and we were trying to sell it. I wonder if any senile old bat drove by to get a flyer and wondered if "that cute little peeing kid statue" would come with the house or not... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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