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Help! My fiance' wants to wait!...


BigMikeinNY
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I always here that??? Me and Mrs. PD have a very active sex life :D -that's the whole fuggin point, to find a mate that does it for you all through out the years. I truly feel for those that are in the "very little" sex club.

 

 

+1. I believe there have been several studies recently that indicate that married people have sex more often than single people.

 

Guys that want their wives to be ready to go at the drop of a hat need to meet their other needs. Treat 'em like your queen and sex goddess and odds are she'll rock your world. :D

 

Mrs. Neutron is flat hard to keep up with sometimes. :D

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All noble ideas from the guys who say to respect her wishes. But why the f does she now, after banging for all these years, want to deprive you of one of the necessities of life? Are you comfortable marrying someone who puts some antiquated religion above her husband? And is this just an ominous sign of things to come? I personally would be deeply concerned about this abrupt change in behavior and the influence that a church has over her, but then again my wife is not religious and wouldnt want to hurt me in this most midevil of ways. It is absolutely ridiculous that she would fall for some religious dogma that hurts YOU! We see where you rank in her priority system and I for one wouldnt go for it. But thats just me.

 

It's not just you - I also see something very concerning here. Yet another reason to stay the heck away from religion.

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I can certainly understand your frustration at your recent turn of events. I think your fiance's decision to abstain until the wedding day should have been a mutual decision. Nevertheless, I think her decision has less to do with being Catholic; and more to do with being Christian. Some of the comments ranging from "sin, sin, sin, and repent" to "don't marry a catholic" show only a marginal understanding of the Catholic faith. And no Christian faith, protestant or otherwise, is going to advocate pre-marital sex. Nor do Jews or Muslims. Having said that; most of us here have.

 

 

 

I guess it comes down to what you see your marriage as. If it's about meeting your needs, regardless of what your spouse feels, then the next 47 weeks is going to suck. Based on your post, I don't think you feel that way. But if your marriage has more to do with putting her needs above your own, then I think you stand a great chance at being married for many, many, years.

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One piece of advice...get as many BJs as you can now cuz that smile on her face come the wedding day doesn't mean she's happy about getting married :D

 

 

Good advice here!

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I can certainly understand your frustration at your recent turn of events. I think your fiance's decision to abstain until the wedding day should have been a mutual decision. Nevertheless, I think her decision has less to do with being Catholic; and more to do with being Christian. Some of the comments ranging from "sin, sin, sin, and repent" to "don't marry a catholic" show only a marginal understanding of the Catholic faith. And no Christian faith, protestant or otherwise, is going to advocate pre-marital sex. Nor do Jews or Muslims. Having said that; most of us here have.

 

 

 

I guess it comes down to what you see your marriage as. If it's about meeting your needs, regardless of what your spouse feels, then the next 47 weeks is going to suck. Based on your post, I don't think you feel that way. But if your marriage has more to do with putting her needs above your own, then I think you stand a great chance at being married for many, many, years.

 

I respect your arguement Deacon and it is certainly well thought out. But lets dig a little bit deeper into your question about "what he sees his marriage as". Marriage cannot be a dictatorship where 1 person makes up the rules without input and acquiesence from the partner. That is exactly what I see here and she is willing to dictate new rules that are to his and her detriment. Why agree to something so arcane without discussion? Her abrupt 180 turn to follow what is argueably the most corrupt and morally bankrupt organization the world has ever known like some brainwashed Moonie, is troubling at best. There is no logical explanation for wanting to abstain from sex in 2006 with your fiancee. None! She is obviously willing to unilatarelly change their lifestyle that has worked well for them these past 5 years, and hurt him in the most ecruciating way a women can hurt a man, simply because of some very antiquated notions of some bizzarely ritualistic religion. What sort of marriage can anyone have if any day you dont know if your spouse will change the well established ground rules, not becuase she wants to, but because some eunuch in a dress down at the church told her that was God's will? For instance, lets just say she had been on the birth control pill, and hears a mass about the obscene belief that the catholic church has that birth control is a sin. Is he just supposed to now accept the fact that birth control is no longer permissable for them? What if she decides that she wants to sell all of their belongings and go be a missionary in Africa without even consulting him? You see, it is her behavior here, not his, that is loutish and beyond the pale. And would certainly be reason to give me pause before I married her.

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If this is THE girl for you. Go along with it. The only thing that strikes me as odd is the specific number 47??!!

 

Hey Rosie will be with you. Have you talked to her about "modified" activities.

 

Give into it but have a happy medium that will help you go through it. Maybe she's just looking to see if you are with her just for the doing it.

 

Who knows what goes inside a woman's head? :D:D:D

 

It takes a lot of balls to be a stand up guy. Kuddos to you!!!

 

Maybe it won't last the 47 weeks.

 

Play along with it for a awhile. It will be worth it.

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I respect your arguement Deacon and it is certainly well thought out. But lets dig a little bit deeper into your question about "what he sees his marriage as". Marriage cannot be a dictatorship where 1 person makes up the rules without input and acquiesence from the partner. That is exactly what I see here and she is willing to dictate new rules that are to his and her detriment. Why agree to something so arcane without discussion? Her abrupt 180 turn to follow what is argueably the most corrupt and morally bankrupt organization the world has ever known like some brainwashed Moonie, is troubling at best. There is no logical explanation for wanting to abstain from sex in 2006 with your fiancee. None! She is obviously willing to unilatarelly change their lifestyle that has worked well for them these past 5 years, and hurt him in the most ecruciating way a women can hurt a man, simply because of some very antiquated notions of some bizzarely ritualistic religion. What sort of marriage can anyone have if any day you dont know if your spouse will change the well established ground rules, not becuase she wants to, but because some eunuch in a dress down at the church told her that was God's will? For instance, lets just say she had been on the birth control pill, and hears a mass about the obscene belief that the catholic church has that birth control is a sin. Is he just supposed to now accept the fact that birth control is no longer permissable for them? What if she decides that she wants to sell all of their belongings and go be a missionary in Africa without even consulting him? You see, it is her behavior here, not his, that is loutish and beyond the pale. And would certainly be reason to give me pause before I married her.

 

 

 

Thanks for your response spain. I always respect your opinions and posts; even if others do not. I think I stated quite cleary that this decision should have been mutually reached, and/or discussed. When one future spouse begins making major decisions without a full explanation to, and consensus from the other intended spouse; that bodes poorly for their future together. But I don't know all the specifics of what happened; nor do you. And perhaps it was discussed at length.

 

 

 

As far as the Catholic church goes, it is simply the faith I choose to follow, and you most certainly are entitled to your opinion. It doen't make me right and you wrong, or vice-versa. It just is what it is. And I think most Huddlers know I have never tried to impose my beliefs on anyone else. I have never felt or expressed that the Catholic church is better than any other religious institution. It's simply what's best for me. And while the Catholic church has much in it's history to not be proud of, I also think much good has been accomplished too; namely to the poor and disenfranchised of this world.

 

 

 

A relationship with God, for me, never meant much until I was in my mid 30's. My life up until that point was about my needs; even above the needs of my wife and family. I didn't think I was selfish and self absorbed at that time; but in the end, I was. I was born and raised Catholic, as was my wife and her family, so for me it made sense to re-establish my relationship with God through that faith. Does that make me stupid for choosing to seek a mature and growing relationship with God? For some in the Huddle the answer would be yes. For me, I was stupid for not doing it a long, long time ago.

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you gotta suck it up (and not the way skins is advocating :D ). this obviously means a lot to her. and unlike others, i don't see it as a catholic thing or even necessarily a christian thing...it's about making the marriage ceremony actually mean something. not saying i agree with that way of going about it, but i'm willing to bet that's sorta how she feels about it in her head. i know a lot of times people feel like the marriage itself is just a dumb "formality"...and they can feel that in a positive way ("our love is so strong and so binding, what can getting dressed up and having a big party add or subract to it?") or in a negative way, where it feels as if the impending marriage is somehow lacking in significance. she seems to feel this is some sort of ritual that will add meaning and significance to the event. if it's a silly whim on her part, she'll be letting you hit it again in a week or two. if it's not, you have to let her play the thing out and be supportive. don't try too hard to pressure/seduce her, either. that could end up planting a seed of resentment in her mind that you really don't want there down the road.

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play the part right along with her...let her know how much you are enjoying your time "to yourself", and that you had no idea how many imaginitive and erotic thoughts you were capable of. Also let her know that you never knew there were so many websites/magazines out there that catered to your fantasy's, and that you are thankful she opened you up to a world of sexual freedom you never knew existed.

 

My money says she recants her position, for fear of turning you into a self-fulfilling pervert. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not that there's anything wrong with that. :D

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If she says no, you're pertty much not going to get it unless you rape her. And I'm just guessing that rape is not an option for you here.

 

 

 

Nice advice... :D

 

if she'll give blumpkins you should be alright.

 

 

 

Good info here...she outta do a little extra blumpkins for your sacrifice...I know you want that night to be extra special and pure...right? :D

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You'e looking at it all wrong. Think positive, dude. Its not 47 weeks, its 11 months. See, 11 isn't as big as a 47. Think of it as a tour of duty. Your duty done, you get veteran benefits for life.

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females find it easier to end a relationship when they cut off sexual contact....

 

me...I find it easier just after doing "it"....I don't know what the big deal is...but anyways...she just wants to make your life miserable....

 

of course this is obvious with her being a female and all..

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You'e looking at it all wrong. Think positive, dude. Its not 47 weeks, its 11 months. See, 11 isn't as big as a 47. Think of it as a tour of duty. Your duty done, you get veteran benefits for life.

 

 

 

and a diesel right arm

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