Square Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I hear ya, but I don't have much of a leg to stand on from the health angle. I've been known to smoke pot now and again and cigarettes when I drink. So who am I to play the "health card"? I'd rather tactfully play the "you looked great when we met - what happened?" card. Cigarettes are pretty bad but if it isn't very often it shouldn't mean you have no credibility on the subject. I don't hear a whole lot about stoners dying young (even when I want them to). So, I still think there is something to the health angle. Just in the fact that any other health issue is automatically complicated if you are overweight. My wife is probably only an inch or so taller than yours. You have to remember that 20 pounds on a hundred pound frame is a 20% increase. It'd be like a 200lb guy putting on 40. I'm not saying anything you don't probably know but the numbers will sometimes jolt people into realizing there is a problem. Other than that, I'd suggest joining a volleyball or golf league (and walk). See if she'd be interested in something like that. I don't do very well at getting to the gym but I never miss a week of basketball league. GL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 Wrong and stupid aren't the same thing. ??? Are you saying I'm stupid for wantng my wife to lose weight? Or did I misread between the lines? My bad if so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Dude, on the subject of a wimmin's weight, even I don't go where no man has gone before. <-------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 ??? Are you saying I'm stupid for wantng my wife to lose weight? Or did I misread between the lines? My bad if so. I though about that after hitting reply. My bad. Stupid for mentioning it. You can't win. She will either get in shape for herself and her health or not. You saying anything probably won't change that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinatieri Is God Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 She's 5' 1" tall and weighed probably 100-105 when we first started going out. She's probably looking at 125-130 lbs now. So not what I'd call fat. If I saw her out and about and didn't know her. She would fall into the "yes, I would" column for sure. Just that she used to be in the "hell yes" column. Useless w/o pics. Seriously though, try this conversation: Honey, are you more comfortable with your weight now or where you used to be?" If she says now, you are screwed and have no chance to convince her otherwise. But if she says she would prefer to be the 105 she used to be then, you have some ammunition for encouragement. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Do not say a word. Don't get sneaky, or try reverse psychology, or anything that remotely comes close to talking about weight. You are just asking for a lifetime of pure marital hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 It's important to note that she's still not a fat-ass by any means. My friends think she looks great. She's 5' 1" tall and weighed probably 100-105 when we first started going out. She's probably looking at 125-130 lbs now. So not what I'd call fat. If I saw her out and about and didn't know her. She would fall into the "yes, I would" column for sure. Just that she used to be in the "hell yes" column. Hard for me to sympathize. Check back in when she's 185 and "helllllllll no unless I just drank a handle of whiskey". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I've been trying to address this subject at home for years. There is nothing you can say that won't hurt her feelings or cause resentment. If anyone out there has been able to successfully pull this off, please chime in. You can't couch the issue as one of weight. You'd have an easier time winning a land war in Asia. The only (successful) approach I've discovered goes like this... 1. Baby, I love you with all my heart, and I always will. 2. One of the reasons I fell in love for you in the first place is that you were someone who made an effort to attract *me* 3. Those efforts on your part always make me feel special 4. I completely understand that things change as we mature together, and that's fine. 5. It's not so much how you look: it's the special feeling I get that, in your eyes, I'm worth the effort in the first place 6. And I'd like to think that, even when we're old and grey, we'll be the kind of couple that never stops making the effort to attract one another. If she can't read between those lines, perhaps she needs glasses. It's obviously a two way street, but if you can get her to agree to these general sentiments now you'll be able to refer back to them for the rest of your relationship together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 You can't couch the issue as one of weight. You'd have an easier time winning a land war in Asia. The only (successful) approach I've discovered goes like this... 1. Baby, I love you with all my heart, and I always will. 2. One of the reasons I fell in love for you in the first place is that you were someone who made an effort to attract *me* 3. Those efforts on your part always make me feel special 4. I completely understand that things change as we mature together, and that's fine. 5. It's not so much how you look: it's the special feeling I get that, in your eyes, I'm worth the effort in the first place 6. And I'd like to think that, even when we're old and grey, we'll be the kind of couple that never stops making the effort to attract one another. If she can't read between those lines, perhaps she needs glasses. It's obviously a two way street, but if you can get her to agree to these general sentiments now you'll be able to refer back to them for the rest of your relationship together. Should he use a Barry White voice when he gives this a whirl ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 When we were starting to get soft the best approach I found to be... "We both need to get in shape to keep up with the kid. I don't want to raise a couch potato so we need to lead by example." 1 week later we started P90X and she's ripped now 70 days into the program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Should he use a Barry White voice when he gives this a whirl ? I recommend going with a pre-South Park Isaac Hayes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 just brainstorming here, but what if you just gave her a tapeworm.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 When we were starting to get soft the best approach I found to be... "We both need to get in shape to keep up with the kid. I don't want to raise a couch potato so we need to lead by example." 1 week later we started P90X and she's ripped now 70 days into the program. That is a good idea. Besides, if you're gifted with a voice like Isaac Hayes (or Barry White), wouldn't you think that the effect would wear off after a while? I mean, sure, ladies throw their underwear at you on stage, and swoon at your voice, but, wouldn't your wife eventually think, "Wow, that's nice and all, but the kids' diaper needs changing and I'm busy folding laundry. I wish he'd quit singing." ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 It might be too subtle but you could buy her one of these. http://cgi.ebay.com/VTG-GILBERT-BROWN-GREE...id=p3286.c0.m14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Always buy her clothes in XXL sizes. "What, you mean that's too big? Really? Man, it's hard to tell." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Alternatively, you could buy her a real nice dress a couple of sizes too small and tell her you'll take her out to a nice restaurant or on a nice trip once she can fit into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 I was 310 lbs. dude ... thatsa lotta whompa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 dude ... thatsa lotta whompa. Hold me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilthorp Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Sounds to me, like you're looking to draft her backup. So....ISMHO, someone's weight is just like someone's habits....like smoking. You can't make someone quit smoking, and you can't make them lose weight. So, there's nothing wrong with you wanting her to lose weight. But, you're not going to get her to lose it unless she wants to as well. Maybe solicit one of her friends for some help? It would have to be someone you can trust to help and not throw you under the bus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Maybe solicit one of her friends for some help? It would have to be someone you can trust to help and not throw you under the bus. Like, maybe pay an actor / complete stranger to walk up to your wife and call her a fatass in public? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 ride the wave and keep your mouth shut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted July 29, 2009 Author Share Posted July 29, 2009 Sounds to me, like you're looking to draft her backup. You worked that one in there nicely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NAUgrad Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Here's what you do.....during sex, bend her in half so that it's really hard for her to breath because of the excess weight. When she passes out, ask her if she's okay and if she's ready to go again. Sooner or later she'll realize that she wouldn't pass out if she lost some weight, problem solved. I'm just here to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Throw some flour at her. She'll understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiggieFries Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 You're welcome! If this isn't a "Win-Win" type of product, I don't know what is! Make sure you watch the video. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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