Guest Sores Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 A couple questions for everyone who has ever been married or in a long term relationship. In your mind, what makes for a great marriage? also... What would be your deal breakers....what would cause you to pick up and leave? I think the things that make a marriage great are fairly obvious, but bear noting: Honesty, Communication, Great Sex, Sharing, Compatability The dealbreaker for me....probably the inability to change what surfaces as problematic behavior or attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 just random thoughts: Cheating is an automatic deal breaker. I trust my wife implicitly. One of her best friends is a man. Therefore, I posit trust is a necessity. A sense of humor is pretty important. If a woman/man is jealous, run. You don't want to deal with those insecurities. Run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 A couple questions for everyone who has ever been married or in a long term relationship. In your mind, what makes for a great marriage? 1) if you are a type A marry a Type B 2) Give and Take equally. 3) LISTEN! (Boy I forget that one every once in awile!) 4) Help her out w/ whatever. 5) Don't forget an anniversary! 6) Patience!!!!!!!!!! 7) Did I say patience? 8) Agree on the religion thingee. 9) Kiss and hug once a day minimal (Mrs. RR's) 10) make important decisions together 11) Share the workload. 12) Express your feelings, honestly 13) C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E! 14) Say 'I love you' as often as possible! also... What would be your deal breakers....what would cause you to pick up and leave? Nothing! I took my vows seriously. Ok, maybe an affair that she wouldn't stop. That's it! I think the things that make a marriage great are fairly obvious, but bear noting: Honesty, Communication, Great Sex, Sharing, Compatability The dealbreaker for me....probably the inability to change what surfaces as problematic behavior or attitude. 1276480[/snapback] We've been married for 33+ years. We've had rocky times. My daughter probably created more arguements than anything else, but that is what the rollercoaster ride is about, i.e. solving problems! All the above worked for us. we went thru poor, comfortable, poor again, and back to comfortable. Divorce was/is never an option for me, but that's me! No offence to anyone divorced. Curious as to why you asked this question? But a good one it is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommyknocker Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Married 25 yrs this March. I only have one word for what has worked for us. Friendship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 copious amounts of monkey sex ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeegiebo Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Friendship 1276606[/snapback] Bingo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Trust! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 that's easy. Good marriage: 1. She lets you blow a load in her face 2. Watches pron 3. Will do anything you ask in bed 4. Understands the needs to get drunk with the guys 5. Uses the phrase "You should have anal sex with me at least 3 times a week." 6. Also suggests having her 23 year old female co-worker to come over and join in. 7. Completely understand weekend in vegas with the guys while she watches the kids 8. Morning BJs with afternoon phone sex and a steak for dinner 9. Suggests that she be the one to get a 2nd job so she wont bother you on sundays during football season. 10. Rewards you with season tickets she paid for out of her own pocket to your favorite NFL team AND tells you to take your best friend. Deal breaker 1. Has an opinion 2. nags 3. complains about anything you do 4. won't swallow or give BJS anymore because you are married 5. talks during football games 6. Gets upset at draft day 7. asks to talk after sex 8. nags you about leaving your dirty clothes on the floor 9. makes you eat veggies all the time 10. spends your money on dumb stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 A couple questions for everyone who has ever been married or in a long term relationship. In your mind, what makes for a great marriage? honesty, trust, communication, effort also... What would be your deal breakers....what would cause you to pick up and leave? truely subjective.... i am not sure if i have a dealbreaker. my marriage is a commitment to the marriage in addition to the person. would have to exhaust all means of resolution before divorce/anulment. 1276480[/snapback] quick answers......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Neutron Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Don't sweat the little stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 (edited) If a woman/man is jealous, run. You don't want to deal with those insecurities. Run. 1276533[/snapback] steve - this comment surprises me and not sure if you are serious. i have known mass quantities of women in my life. i've never met one that has been totally secure about themself. now, i realize that there a different levels of psyco-ism, but i've traditionally just chalked it up that every woman has some degree of jealousness capability built in. Edited January 20, 2006 by justin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 that's easy. Good marriage: 1. She lets you blow a load in her face 2. Watches pron 3. Will do anything you ask in bed 4. Understands the needs to get drunk with the guys 5. Uses the phrase "You should have anal sex with me at least 3 times a week." 6. Also suggests having her 23 year old female co-worker to come over and join in. 7. Completely understand weekend in vegas with the guys while she watches the kids 8. Morning BJs with afternoon phone sex and a steak for dinner 9. Suggests that she be the one to get a 2nd job so she wont bother you on sundays during football season. 10. Rewards you with season tickets she paid for out of her own pocket to your favorite NFL team AND tells you to take your best friend. Deal breaker 1. Has an opinion 2. nags 3. complains about anything you do 4. won't swallow or give BJS anymore because you are married 5. talks during football games 6. Gets upset at draft day 7. asks to talk after sex 8. nags you about leaving your dirty clothes on the floor 9. makes you eat veggies all the time 10. spends your money on dumb stuff. 1276615[/snapback] well, i've got 3 of the good items (i'm not saying which ones) and 5 of the deal breakers and yet, i'm still happy. how can that be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Nice to see you got SERIOUS replies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 steve - this comment surprises me and not sure if you are serious. i have known mass quantities of women in my life. i've never met one that has been totally secure about themself. now, i realize that there a different levels of psyco-ism, but i've traditionally just chalked it up that every woman has some degree of jealousness capability built in. 1276628[/snapback] My wife got jealous once when we had been dating for a year or two. No problems since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Married 25 yrs this March. I only have one word for what has worked for us. Friendship 1276606[/snapback] That's it right there. A point is reached where you become pretty much one person in two bodies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Try not to go to bed angry..Understand each others position on the issues that are important to you kids , finances, religion etc. Have fun. Always be friends..Try and listen. Deal breaker would be if she ever consistently mistreated our kids but that wouldnt happen in a million years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Long-term marriages exist on the basis of love, good communication, and compromise. Religion has helped in my marriage because it has instilled the committment part of marriage in both of us. Deal breakers include infidelity (duh) and absolute inability to compromise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Anyway, the keys to a successful marriage I wouldn't presume to know, we haven't had anything near a hard time yet; As far as a dealbreaker, I wouldn't be able to handle mistrust and/or deceit. Why freakin' bother at that point, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 (edited) A couple questions for everyone who has ever been married or in a long term relationship. In your mind, what makes for a great marriage? also... What would be your deal breakers....what would cause you to pick up and leave? I think the things that make a marriage great are fairly obvious, but bear noting: Honesty, Communication, Great Sex, Sharing, Compatability The dealbreaker for me....probably the inability to change what surfaces as problematic behavior or attitude. 1276480[/snapback] I have some thoughts on that considering it's the profession that I am currently studying (marriage and family therapist). I'll keep the comments brief. Background: I've been married for about 4.5 years now and been with my wife for almost 7 years. Great marriage REQUIRES: Honesty, communication, compatability and love. Great Marriage don't require, but these things can be EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: Sense of humor, common interests and sexual chemistry. Obviously a marriage in my opinion without the "requirements" is a deal breaker. However, heading into a marriage make sure you discuss a range of important issues such as: Do we both want kids? When? What are your expectations for the union? How is your fanancial situation and how important is that to the other person? Does religion play a factor into your relationship and that of future kids? My views may change as I go through graduate school, but right now those are my brief thoughts to a very broad question. Edited January 20, 2006 by TDFFFreak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I've been married for over 17 years and the important thing I've learned is it is hard work to have a successful marriage. It's important to communicate. Don't internalize your issues (took me a while to learn that one). Complete trust. That was difficult for me in the early years (due to my insecurities), it isn't any longer. There are others too but those came to mind quickly. I don't think I could get past infidelity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Oh and this reminds me of the toast I gave at my buddy's wedding. I did a very heartfelt toast at first and then ended it with: Being married for such a long time, my buddy asked my what the secret is to a long marriage. I told him that three important attributes are love, trust and honor. Of these three, honor is by far the most important. So remember, when you get honor, stay honor.... Pretty tasteless and I don't think her father was that pleased. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbimm Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 The only way I get married is if I find my "Brand of crazy". Otherwise just messing around with whoever is available at the time works for me! Seriously......... FRIENDSHIP is the key in my opinion. I just need a Crazy Friend thats all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Has to be a best friend ...and you have to be able to picture getting old together , and smile while doing so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deacon Bill Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 20 year vet here. And most of the positive points (trust, loyalty, faithfulness) made in this thread all flow from your ability to be friends. When I'm out with my buds, I have more fun when my wife is with me, than when she's not. JMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampnuts Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Oh and this reminds me of the toast I gave at my buddy's wedding. I did a very heartfelt toast at first and then ended it with: Being married for such a long time, my buddy asked my what the secret is to a long marriage. I told him that three important attributes are love, trust and honor. Of these three, honor is by far the most important. So remember, when you get honor, stay honor.... Pretty tasteless and I don't think her father was that pleased. 1276797[/snapback] Classic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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