Thews40 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I found out two hours ago that my dad died two days ago. He lived alone on a farm in Utah, and when the neighbors didn’t hear from him on the second day they called the cops. I’m still in shock… I always write when bad things happen. Being that death is a part of life, I have to look at the positives. He was 80 but looked like he was 60 and never had health problems other than arthritis. The found him in bed and say he died of a massive heart attack. To accentuate the positive, he didn’t have Alzheimer’s or a lengthy illness and I just saw him last Christmas… I thought he’d live forever. When I left I gave him a hug and said, “I love you”. That’s not the norm in my family, but I’m so glad I said it now. I don’t expect you to believe me, but I really do think I had crossed the line between life and death for a very brief time period. I remember standing up in spirit looking at my dead body, and the first realization I had was that my life was over and I was waiting for what happened next. Nothing happened… I didn’t see anything, and then I woke up. I do remember the feeling though quite vividly; it wasn’t one of angst, but reflection. We’re all going to die, and when that time comes, my greatest wish is that I’ll be missed... my dad will be missed. I’ll miss him so much, and even though things were not cool as a teenager, we’ve been very close since I was 19. I guess the lesson learned is you shouldn’t ever take things for granted. I’m thankful that he lead a long healthy life and went painlessly in his sleep. If I were to script my ending, I’d take that one right now. Still, it doesn’t seem real yet… I’m going to miss him so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 The way your father passed is exactly how I'd like to go out. Good life, no lingering illness, and a quick end. I'm sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Oh, Thews, my heart goes out to you. May God grant peace to your father's soul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch Oven Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 My condolences to you and your family. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojo20 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I'm very sorry for your loss Thews, My and my families prayers go out to you and your family during these tough times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Sorry for your loss Thews. I'd like to go out like my grandfather did, peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car. (And for the gullibles out there, yes, this is a classic joke being retold, and yes, my grandfather did recently pass, services are tomorrow, and he did not go in his sleep, though it was peaceful from what I have been told) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatman Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Sorry to hear that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 (edited) Wow, that's heavy. I'm very sorry for your loss. Edited May 9, 2007 by yo mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bushwacked Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Sorry Thews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 My prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godtomsatan Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Condolences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Holliday Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I am sorry to hear this Thews. I wish you and your family the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 my condolences, greg. cheers to your pop and his memory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 My condolences Thews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxfactor Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 At least he went in a good way. Someone was looking out for him. My condolences to you and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wildcat2334 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 That is a tough one. Best Wishes....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thews40 Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 Thanks everyone... this sucks. My dad and I used to talk, and though we differed about almost everything, there’s one thing we always agreed on since we had one common bond… Mormons. My dad was so liberal that he makes skins look conservative. We talked about God a lot (because we differed on that too), and though he never owned up to it, I would say most would probably consider him agnostic. He knew far more about the bible than I do, and it was just sort of fun to spar with him… cause he liked to argue… but solely on an intellectual level. I guess he did get pissed during some conversations when the war started (we strongly disagreed)… I’d just change the subject. Being an agnostic in the fairy tale land of Utah, had its issues for him. All the local papers were so biased he couldn’t read them, and he read a lot. He was a retired teacher and did so at 58. Say what you want about the teaching profession, but he retired at 58 with 75% of his pay for life. He was pissed he had to pay so much tax on what he made, and it was still over $40K a year… pretty sweet deal. He lead a good life… and he spent most of it reading… prolly a book a day. His greatest joy came from his kids, and when you called, you expected to be on the phone for at least a half hour. During a recent visit to his house, someone in my family stood up in church and ask the entire congregation to pay a visit to my dad (he lives down the street from this church). Quite coincidentally, I too have been paid visits… that’s “visits” ..it happened twice in the same week. We were both pissed about it, and the end of my little story is that I was asked to write a letter to the local bishop to get them to stop… so I did. It was brutally honest, but not obscene at all. I told my dad about it, and also told him I was going to mail it to my Mom and the part of family that isn’t Mormon (one brother and one sister; I have two Mormon sisters and my Mom is Mormon)… he told me not to. He told me to wait and think about it. I still haven’t decided whether or not to send it. You know what’s cool, that post by spain about the Mormons let me know it was on… I knew nothing about it as I don’t watch TV. I watched the second half, and it was the last long conversation I had with my dad… thanks for that spain. That’s what’s cool… we could talk for over an hour about stuff like that. If it wasn’t for watching that special, I could have missed my last chance… I didn’t. It’s all becoming real… I’m really gonna miss him. I'm also really glad I received that advice about the letter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 (edited) I'm sorry you have to go through the pain of losing your dad. Edited May 9, 2007 by Chargerz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I'd like to go out like my grandfather did, peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car. (And for the gullibles out there, yes, this is a classic joke being retold, and yes, my grandfather did recently pass, services are tomorrow, and he did not go in his sleep, though it was peaceful from what I have been told) Former RR26 sigline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Neutron Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thews40 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 (edited) The storm has already started. I’m one of five kids, and there’s issues to deal with; I really hate this part. I’m going to make such a structured will, that all one needs to do is read it and everything is divvied up equally. I leave for Utah in the morning, and I can tell already this is going to be less about my dad and more about who gets what. My dad was a fairly wealthy man… this is going to suck. Aside from being somewhat eccentric, my dad used to be an artist. He was very good, but stopped painting and went into teaching. He used to work for artists, and instead of paying him, he’d ask for art in return. One of those paintings was by someone who is now quite famous… I think it was painted in 1937. My dad painted one that I dearly want… I asked him to take it out when I was there at Christmas, and he told me (and my then girlfriend) the story behind it. It’s called “The juggler” and there’s some religious story behind it. If one of my siblings gets it, I’m just going to have to live with that. I hope this all goes smooth. I would really find it at travesty if came down to nickels and dimes. You know what sucks… going to Utah was really the only time I saw my brother and sisters, and now that’s gone. I always figured that if I ever was in a bad way... car accident, job relocation… whatever, I could always go to Utah. I hope when this is over my brother gets the house… that way I can always go back… even if it’s just for a reunion. My dad specifically asked that he not have a funeral. I talked to my brother about it, and he said we (the 5 kids) should scatter the ashes in Zion National park, and have an open house instead of a funeral. I agreed, and that’s what my dad would have wanted. He also told me he sensed something was wrong. My dad died yesterday in his pajamas watching TV in bed. They said he must have sat up, had a heart attack and fell back. My brother thinks he knew it was coming, and chose it. I can only speculate if that’s true, but if it was true it would be like him. I’m just glad I had him for this long. See you in a week. Edited May 10, 2007 by Thews40 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I am sorry to hear about your loss Thews. I could only imagine how hard that must be. You and your family will be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 thews, sorry for your loss. sounds like you guys had some fun conversations over the years... my condolences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Sorry for your loss Thews Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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