Thews40 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I promise this will be long… and straight from the heart. I need some prayers. My daughter was diagnosed with leukemia today. This was caused by the chemo she went through when she was 14… 3 years ago. We go back in on Monday morning and the hell starts again. I’ve been through this before, and what I’ve been exposed to many nights in the children’s ward at Children’s Hospital is pain. Pain like I’ve seen before. On Monday, my 18 year old daughter will start the fight again. I have to be a rock, I’m scared and asking you for one favor. I have great health insurance so this won’t blow me away financially… I don’t need money …I need your prayers... I believe in them. I talk about God a lot and believe I’m connected to the truth. Whatever the truth is, it’s all that matters. I suck. I am selfish and I’m wrong. You get so wrapped up the day-to-day BS that “average” becomes unacceptable… for me anyway. Life is all about peaks and valleys, and to be hanging in the middle is when happiness is found… at least that’s what logic would dictate. I long for average, as I'm about to hang in the valley for some time. So now I must find inner peace regarding God. Am I mad at God? No. Am I pissed that this is happening again? Yes. Why? My friend at work has a son that has leukemia. We sorta bonded because both of our kids were at Children’s years ago. He's deeply religious (Christian), and when his son asked him, “Why me”, his answer was, “Why not you?” Sounds harsh, but it was honest. Life deals us heaps of dung in many aspects, and we don’t control them. I don’t believe anger directed at God when they do means anything but to use God as a punching bag. There’s both good and bad in life, it will end for all of us. I’m on borrowed time… I know this. Whether or not you believe I really was dead I know I was… I know what it’s like. It felt like a dream I had just awoke from. Think about it… if you are no longer human, your existence has now changed. You can’t think of this in humanistic terms, because you aren’t human anymore. I didn't see any light or any evidence of God, but I did see my dead body standing outside of it. Hear me out… What if… there was no hell? What if evil didn’t exist in the next dimension? If life is a lesson to the soul, then what you take from it is how closely it rivals the truth. If you knew great evil whilst you were trotting through life, then you would know its sadness. If you awoke from a dream, just like a real nightmare, you immediately find solace in the fact it wasn’t real…anymore, but it was while you were dreaming it. Analogous to the nightmare, this makes sense. But then there’s joy… happy dreams. Happiness is derived from being content… again it’s what I’ve concluded logically. We’ve all had some form of brass ring, compared to people that grow up and die of hunger see us like kings. In this mass of humanity, if you eat every day you have it made… the rest is all a bonus. Life is good… enjoy it. I miss my dad so much, but I’m happy that we were so close that I miss him, and that I had him for so long (he died at 80). Back to the netherworld, I haven’t figured out why I’m still here, but I am… I shouldn’t be. My views of hell and other aspects of religion are things I think about and I constantly question them. I need validation internally, because to say I believe in something means I actually do. I believe in God, and unless you believe matter became of anti-something you do too… in some form. So where does God come in now? I don’t run this show, and I don’t control things. Right now, what I have to be is the rock… unwavering. Everything that happens from here on out is good news until I hear otherwise. Every test, every surgery, everything… best case until proven otherwise. I’ve done this before, and the power of the mind to heal the body cannot be denied. I have to believe it, and I will until told otherwise. So I ask you for one favor… just a prayer. Not for me, but for my daughter Mallory. I love her so much… she’s such a cool kid. I don’t care if you don’t believe in God, if you say a little prayer anyway I’d really appreciate it. I know the size of the truck that’s going to hit her on Monday morning at about 9:30. Round two… it’s just another step in getting her past this …just like the past three years. The last two years were great ones… above average. Gotta take the good with the bad and God (IMO) shows us both. I have to believe this will turn out good, and right now I believe it will... just need a little help. Just one little prayer. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Thewster... we sometimes rib ya for all your drama, but in this case we surely feel for you and will most certainly give thoughts and prayers for your daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 i'll say more than one prayer for her thews, and for you as well. hang in there and be strong for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budlitebrad Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 My friend was just diagnosed with leukemia as well and needs a bone marrow transplant. 23 years old. My thoughts go out to both of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunther Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Your daughter, and you, will be in my thoughts Thews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I can't imagine what you must be going through. You will get through this... you're a strong guy and I'm sure you have a strong daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 My prayer for her is on the airwaves. All the best, Thews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I will be thinking about you and your family. I am not a praying man but know that my thoughts are with you. I cannot imagine having to go through that with a child...I don't think I would be strong enough to do it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Thoughts are very much with your daughter, Thews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Swerski Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 My God, I'm so sorry. Prayers on their way to your daughter and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 My crappy day at work just got put well and truly in perspective. You and yours have all the positive thoughts I can muster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godtomsatan Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Thoughts for you and your family Thews. Keep the head up.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alchico Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Prayers on their way for you and your daughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 my thoughts to you and mallory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Prayers sent Thews . I will light a candle for her at the church near my work tomorrow..Stay positive..and God bless you Both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWmaker Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Prayers and positive thoughts sent out to you, your family, and Mallory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 sent. stay strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SF409ers Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I too shall pray for your daughter and you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I'm so sorry. Prayers coming your way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rovers Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Wow. Life doesn't get any more serious than this. Prayers, definitely comin yer way. It is very natural to question things now, that is part of our collective condition when things go wrong. May you find the strength and faith you need to get through this. God bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Like Soup Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I wish you and especially your daughter all the best, Thews. Be that rock for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I will pray for her before my head hits the pillow tonight...wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thews40 Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 (edited) Thanks so much... really. I believe in prayer... it means so much to me... thank you. I've said prayers for people in here I don't know and never will. We all go through this stuff... again thanks... it mean so much. Edited November 20, 2007 by Thews40 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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