millerx Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 When your in the mood for a naughty night with the wife, what tactics if any, do you use during the day to get her primed for the night to come? Are there any tried and true ones that you would be willing to share? Do you take a romantic angle or a raunchy one? All responses welcome (as I'm sure this will have its fair share comedic postings as well). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 "It's not going to suck itself." You'll thank me later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Agent Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 "It's not going to suck itself." You'll thank me later. I'm trying that one. I just use GHB. Saves time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 "It's not going to suck itself." You'll thank me later. The wife's response, "Get to stretching, Gumby." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 "It's not going to suck itself." You'll thank me later. +1 Works everytime Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I get her drunk, wait for her to pass out and then stick in in any hole it will fit in, which is pretty much every hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millerx Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 I get her drunk, wait for her to pass out and then stick in in any hole it will fit in, which is pretty much every hole. Reminds of the Family Guy episode when they try have ear sex. You know what they say " Once you go black...you go deaf". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Here's a list of foods that are considered aphrodisiacs. I suggest you find a way to get every one of them into a single meal. Don't forget to also bring Rolaids, a breath mint and a condom. Aniseed Asparagus Almond Arugula Avocado Bananas Basil (sweet basil) Broccoli Rabe (And Other Mustard Greens) Chocolate Carrots Coffee Coriander (Cilantro seed) Fennel Figs Garlic Ginger Honey Licorice Mustard Nutmeg Oysters Pine Nuts Pineapple Raspberries Strawberries Truffles Vanilla Wine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moss6 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Honey, brace yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 (edited) Persistence. just keep bugging her and keeping her from sleeping so she finally caves in, takes care of you then rolls over to go to sleep. ETA: Reminding her of the zebra has seemed to work this last week. Edited October 17, 2008 by Big Country Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I try not to say anything so she stays asleep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I threaten to sleep with her sister again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I threaten to sleep with her sister again. Don't you just mesmorize her with your dreamy blue eyes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Name that Tune Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I threaten to sleep with her sister again. "we are Family , i got all my sisters with me " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
driveby Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 naughty night? I'd settle for a frisky 15 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westvirginia Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 What's wrong with you guys? My wife actually likes it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I try not to say anything so she stays asleep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 i say hello Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 What's wrong with you guys? My wife actually likes it! we know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 What's wrong with you guys? My wife actually likes it! But that's cause she is good at visualizing someone other than you....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westvirginia Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 we know You couldn't handle her, not even with all your lollipop guild brethren... But that's cause she is good at visualizing someone other than you....... Now this is entirely possible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABearWithFurniture Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Chocolate covered raw oysters seasoned with Cilantro, Ginger, and Coriander...with a few pine nuts sprinkled on top...most of the time my wife will just do me so she doesn't have to eat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameltosis Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I roll over and stick my boner against her back. I dont know if it works or not but it cracks me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Pimp Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Reminds of the Family Guy episode when they try have ear sex. You know what they say " Once you go black...you go deaf". There was also an episode where Quagmire says there's a 4th hole which he later shows as the back of the knee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonkis Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I roll over and stick my boner against her back. I dont know if it works or not but it cracks me up. +1, has a 40% success rate for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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